317,196 posts

How to not be a bitch: 2019 edition

1637 upvotes
by VisiblePlan on /r/TheRedPill
27 November 2019 07:34 PM UTC
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As I was lifting a ten thousand pound dumbbell high above my head while two sultry blondes licked at my nutsack, I noticed the guy next to me was a bitch! Here he was, at the gym, which is an inherently not bitchy place even if sometimes some retardedly hot piece and her friend start babbling. And, yet, this man was a bitch all the same. He cowered at the sight of masculine men, and women, well, they may as well have been Medusa for how much he avoided looking at them. This couldn't do at all!

My dear boy, I said to him. I am going to help. I am the Ghost of Getting Ass, and I have taken pity on you! Come! We must debitchify you!

The man seemed uncertain as to whether or not he should get onto the motorcycle, so, to aid him, I punched him in the face.

What did you do that for, the man said.

I wagged an alpha finger at him.

Don't be uncertain! Uncertainty is the move of women and bitch men. Asses your options, and then do what springs to mind immediately.

The man struggled to get a proper foothold on the bike, and he immediately crashed into a light post.

Don't you know how to ride a bike?

The man shook his head pathetically. I gave him my hand and put him back on the bike, teaching him how.

Learn Skills and do exciting things! Women are attracted to skill and being good at something exciting and dangerous gets women wetter than ten thousand roses ever could. Women are extremely boring, and you are the exciting instrument that they secretly want to blow.

The man and I rode our motorcycles to some dive bar and began to drink with the other men. The man, now surrounded by pure uncut masculinity, began to loosen up.

She has titties as big as satellite dishes! One man said. And the bar laughed. I turned to the man again.

Become immersed in masculinity. Once you are surrounded by something you become more comfortable. Like diving into a pool. Once the waters of masculinity become a Haven for you, your adventures with women will become easier.

The man and I left the bar. Time to score some ass!

I saw some Latina bitch with a fine ass walking by and went over and alphaed her until her panties got wet, of course. The man stood behind me, looking at women. He was strutting his chest out and holding his head high.

I stopped talking to the Latina.

What the fuck are you doing, faggot?

I'm being alpha, the man replied, I read a post about alpha body language and i-

I punched his flabby jaw.

Stop it.

You can act as alpha as you want, but beautiful women need to be approached. They have incredibly low self-esteem and are insecure. They could not handle it if you rejected them. And so they don't apporach. They are a lot like most of you, a bitch, afraid of even the slightest bit of bumps in the road.

The man finnaly grew a big set of balls, and went up and talked to a woman.

H-hi...

Dear God what is he doing, but then I remembered patience. Not so long ago I was a beta faggot who wouldn't know what to do with a pussy if it was gift wrapped and sent to my door.

I-i thought you were cute and I wanted to say hi.

I have a boyfriend, the bitch replies.

Oh, I'm sorry, ok bye.

The man walks away.

I grab him by the arm. Hey, that was pretty shite but at least now you know one thing.

Rejection is better than regret.

The night is over, and the man goes to his 9-5. I follow along, floating beside him like the alpha Spectre that I am. He slacks off at his job, and constantly shoots glances at Karen, the funky bitch with the back tattoo in HR. As he goes to the urinal for his procrastination piss, I give him a solid jab to the ear.

Hey retard.

Money is more important than women. Start paying more attention to your bank account and less towards whores.

The man is done and drives home, listening to some classic rock garbage that every department store plays to brainwash you into buying heaters.

Are you going to the gym now, you haven't gone today, I say to him.

He shakes his head.

I, uh, went yesterday and besides I think I'm gonna switch to calisthenics, it's a more-

I spit in his eye

The gym is your church, and if you are a good Christian man you don't just go on Sundays. You go to every pot luck, every meeting, and keep your body strong.

After lifting weights, the man begins to play videogames with his online friends. After about an hour I relieve myself on his XBONE or whatever the fuck.

Hey what the hell man, he shouts. Dont piss on my stuff!

I piss on his shoes now.

Listen faggot!

Video games aren't a skill and if you play it for longer than an hour you are atrophying away. Their is a world full of fresh pussy waiting to be dined upon, and we, the last alphas in this bluepill dystopia, must endeavor to dine on it.

The man now sits mindlessly on his phone.

Don't you have any hobbies, I ask.

The man says yes, but upon closer inspection it appears his hobby is smoking weed and jacking off.

I look over to his closet.

Boxing gloves, a parachute, dancing shoes, a fencing sword or whatever the fuck it's called.

I then realize his problem.

Find hobbies and stick to them. Nothing ever comes easy at first, but you risk becoming a boring and retarded loser if you don't do anything.

The man is now finally looking good and approaches a woman the right way for the first time.

I don't usally do this she says

I don't believe he responds suavely.

I'd tell you how to approach a woman the right way, but their are over 100 posts about it. Here's what you should remember.

Take risks with women, as my uncle Vasily says, faint heart never fucked fair lady.

Finally, the man is back at his room with a woman. As he fucks, I hover over him giving him the thumbs up ocassionly. Felt like highschool running trains again.

A final rule.

Betas fuck like in movies. If ur alpha u go for the kidneys with every pump, grabbing a handful of neck while you do so.

The man nuts all over the girls face.

He turns to me.

But Visible, I feel so empty. Did I do all this work for this momentary satisfaction.

No. Go look in the mirror.

And their, he sees himself, a healthy, strong, masculine man, who is happy with his life.

And finally he understands.

The Redpill isn't about women, it's about you. And making you a better version if yourself. Women are a secondary thing. You, are what is important. And as you improve, you shall become happier.

And with that, I fly off to teach some new beta how to be alpha.



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Comments

337 upvotesBramRhodesDouglas2 months ago

Lmao Ghost of Getting Ass

Charles DICKens is smiling rn

80 upvotesdanielle23392 months ago

Now, looking forward to "A tale of Two titties"

12 upvotesRightHandWolf2 months ago

Go to a strip club. They always have a copy of A Sale of Two Titties.

215 upvotesLudereVincere2 months ago

This type of writing I find piercingly effective at conveying the redpill to beginners like myself. Salute to you

28 upvotesAvicythe2 months ago

absolutely agree. this is some of the best, fresh and fun writing i've seen in weeks

3 upvotesKorrangar2 months ago

Kinda like Zarathoustra

71 upvotesAceMav212 months ago

Was he on a Ninja 250? How could he keep up with the Spirit of Chad on his ZX14RR

65 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

I can, but that's because I'm on level 9000 of NoFap.

2 upvotestranquil_af1 month ago

What is your take regarding NoFap?

3 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]1 month ago

Do it, but don't be obsessive. Don't jerk off every day.

1 upvotesSaberSpyder2 months ago

untill a turbo busa shows up, all bow to the king

1 upvotesBalderdash792 months ago

And then my R1 teabags you.

1 upvotesSaberSpyder2 months ago

R1 vs hayabusa??? XD Are you alright in the head???

-2 upvotesBalderdash792 months ago

Yes.

Light to light, R1 ftw.

68 upvotesSake992 months ago

faint heart never fucked a fair lady....

This hit home.... I live in a Muslim country and the shit is twice tougher.

32 upvotesSelf_Descr_Huguenot2 months ago

Might be tough when it comes to havin’ plates, but hey at least with being a presumably traditionalist society, bitches know their place a little more, if they mouth off to ya’ you can give em a good whack across the mouth, your communities shame them for bein’ whores, etc.

Makes me think of this interview with Sean Connery as you’re lucky in that you can assert your masculinity without being as shamed as we are in the West:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0d1zTAFKA

18 upvotesYumeito2 months ago

You can't really slap a women like that here but yes women know their place and don't act like whores.

0 upvotesdilf3142 months ago

“women know their place and don’t act like whores”... wow... you are a terrible, sexist person

133 upvotesnorthwest_iron2 months ago

Great write up. The style is very reminiscent of the Book of Pook.

34 upvotesGreaterbird2 months ago

My thoughts too. This guy definitely read Pooks stuff.

14 upvotesDonBullDor2 months ago

Maybe he is pook coming back from the dead

1 upvotesGreaterbird2 months ago

Did he die?

180 upvotesred_philosopher2 months ago

This is a fucking great read.

68 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

I appreciate that, thank you

17 upvotesRightHandWolf2 months ago

This would be hilarious if it was illustrated like an old school Marvel or DC comic book. The Adventures of Alphaman! Keeping a watchful, eternal vigilance from The Fortress of Attitude, Alphaman hears the distressed cries of the downtrodden beta masses . . .

2 upvotesAnubissWarior2 months ago

Your masterpiece has since been removed, any chance of reposting or puting it up somewhere else? I could use it to remind myself to not be a cuck.

1 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

I'll post it on my profile

32 upvotesFaP_corleone2 months ago

Fuckin alpha as a mother fucker ! Reminds of Mark manson early stuff.

43 upvoteskrayono2 months ago

Rejection is better than regret

Golden words! Waiting for part 2.

19 upvotesSmuggler-Tuek2 months ago

Made my week dude. Brilliant.

15 upvotesScarletWhiteEmerald2 months ago

Fuck, this would be a sweet movie. Hollywood would blue pill-ify it in real life, but it would still be awesome. I'm seeing it like a 6th sense sort of twist, where the alpha turns the loser into a fellow alpha before it's revealed at the end that the alpha was an apparition all along.

6 upvotesHODL_monk2 months ago

The first rule of fuck club is, always approach. The second rule of fuck club is, see rule #1...

15 upvotesTheFlyingPro2 months ago

Pook wants his style back! Nice read anyway

11 upvotesz-man20172 months ago

this is like brosciencelife but for getting pussy, i love it 😆😆

1 upvotesNikGrd2 months ago

100%

8 upvotesZ3roCool0072 months ago

Great read man, This is fucking hilarious.

8 upvotesEuropeanAmerican4202 months ago

This writing style sucks my fat alpha cock

7 upvotesI_Am_Sporktacus2 months ago

This must be the most absurdly wholesome thing I've read on TRP. And fucking hilarious. Well done.

17 upvotesKarmaKill232 months ago

Saving this one, Great Post.

6 upvotesKeith_Valentine2 months ago

Awesome thread bro. Funny and made solid points. Well executed. Ghost of Getting Ass lol wtf

6 upvotesathrowaway-90012 months ago

Fantastic portrayal of some key redpill points to easier feed to those just now coming to TRP.

Sadly, a majority of the posts could be cutdown if they actually read the material or went out and actually made all the theoretical stuff put into practice.

7 upvotesRamos3832 months ago

TRP isn't about encouraging others to be the best possible version of themselves anymore. It's become an internal competition about being the edgiest...

5 upvotesDimenzije902 months ago

Although you are right i have to say that it still doesnt have to affect you. You dont wanna be an edgy pussy slayer thats fine. But everyone is different . Look at Pook's, Rollo's and AMS's type of writting/talking. They are very different but at the end they are good at what they are doing and it gave them their best version of themselves.

20 upvotesMorelifetho2 months ago

This is fucking amazing, do another one lmao

4 upvotesLid124782 months ago

Great post, sounds like a cartoon comedy skit

4 upvoteskalumeiya2 months ago

If some news agency gets a hold of this they could publish an article about how we’re fucking crazy.

5 upvotesMattyAnon2 months ago

As he fucks, I hover over him giving him the thumbs up ocassionly

Are you my spirit animal? :)

3 upvotesSwoleBenji2 months ago

If you aren't monetizing your vidya you're doing it wrong.

3 upvotesJurJur2 months ago

Haha this the kind of material I’m looking for! U got good English abilities. I see a writer in the making

3 upvotesteka72 months ago

couldnt agree more

and i want to add: alpha isnt, alpha is what you do

3 upvotesakq02 months ago

"Who iiissssssssssssss this guy?"

Book of Pook science all over. Shit. This is like a drug. I need another dose soon.

3 upvotesDimenzije902 months ago

I wrote something similar to this a week ago and it got deleted... Wtf mods? Where is my validation??

3 upvotesIm_sleep_2 months ago

Ah yes another circle-jerk post shitting on video games or gamers. How ignorant can the redpill be or how full of themselves are they who knows.

7 upvotesZanford2 months ago

And the you wrote on his sweater

NOW I HAVE THE RED PILL

HO HO HO

2 upvotesSad_Sleeper2 months ago

Good stuff, i was listening to Tom Lykis about changing yourself and getting better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BARCTySXdnY

2 upvotesalbino_red_head2 months ago

Excellent writing. Well done.

2 upvotestoxicmaleitis2 months ago

Thats an alpha fucking post!

2 upvotesRob3456782 months ago

Post saved..what a great post!

2 upvotesEmptyMyBalls932 months ago

Fuck, this is some of the best reading I've ever made - inside and outside of TheRedPill.
'Rejection is better than regret' - this realisation is what has helped med most in life and with women the past two years.

Thanks!

4 upvotesjrkoff10132 months ago

Wow, I was not expecting to read this entire thing. Amazing

4 upvotesDestiny8662 months ago

This post made me so alpha I cucked my own girlfriend, with myself

5 upvotesyoshale2 months ago

This might be the stupidest shit I’ve ever read

6 upvotesDimenzije902 months ago

Oh really? Well i think that this is way more better than those wannabe scientists who post their research about women here instead actually going out in the world and enjoying those girls.

4 upvotesBlueCommieSpehsFish2 months ago

What the fuck is this fanfiction shit. You spent this much time writing this fanfiction?

-5 upvotesbadabing6542 months ago

This writing style is cringe af, the points are good but Damn just write normally

3 upvotesBlueCommieSpehsFish2 months ago

Yeah imagine writing this fanfiction level porno story shit and spending actual time and effort on that and thinking you’re alpha while doing so.

2 upvotesSweetdreams182 months ago

It‘d be so cool to know who really op is irl

2 upvotesMhmDrza2 months ago

Oh man this is funny. Well done.

2 upvotesjhdb952 months ago

This is an amazing post, congrats OP.

2 upvotesQuo2102 months ago

Well, that was really good writing. This gets the message across better than most things

2 upvotesAfricanMonkeyGod2 months ago

How not to be a bitch:2019 edition

Don't use reddit to brag about something you dont have or get.

Real men that get real pussy don't take to the internet to share their success stories.

You come across as extremely insecure with a plethora of mommy issues.

1 upvotesbigbrainman2 months ago

any tips for surrounding myself with masculinity? i can fuck bitches but feels like i’m surrounded by pussies especially in engineering

18 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

Go to a bar, just talk to older guys. Older dudes are fucking hillarious. The other day this guy I met at the store spent like thirty minutes going off on his stay at home son who's 27 with no future. Shit was fucking hillarious.

1 upvotesRed_Pill_Brotherhood2 months ago

Cheers! Epic post. We need more like this on here.

1 upvotesTimdeuces2 months ago

I was waiting for the moment when it pivots into saying that you don't need to lift 10,000 lbs and have babes in your arms to be fulfilled in life

1 upvotesOugge2 months ago

Top notch read, very enjoyable. Stay strong

1 upvotes0ctaviusRex2 months ago

Best thing I‘ve read in over a year

1 upvotesbharath_cr72 months ago

Holy fucking shit , that's what I said when I read " Did I do all this work for this momentary satisfaction".

1 upvotesRPOpenUp2 months ago

Great job on reminding us on some gems with context again.

Also. Why you hatin' on Calisthenics brutha

1 upvotesMasterpieceHH2 months ago

We're sidebarring this right?

1 upvotesCAPIreland2 months ago

This may be one of the funniest, best posts on this site. Amazing.

1 upvotesElectro_Cut1 month ago

It's actually helpful advice. Sure there's borderline stuff but well, can't deny facts.

1 upvotesFightForYourWay1 month ago

this was hard to read because it feels like plagiarized pook

1 upvotesAVN_RL2 months ago

I agree with the post but the way you wrote just made you seem like a fuckwit

-1 upvotesandreas-mgtow2 months ago

My dear boy... I am going to help. I am the Ghost of Getting Ass...

Hilarious post, but no way this didn't sound fucking gay at the gymn.

1 upvotesKingOfAllWomen2 months ago

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing i've ever read on this sub. "I bet if I sprinkle some day 1 sidebar material in it, I can write some self-aggrandizing fairytale!"

-13 upvotesMooxman22 months ago

I agree this shit is trash.And the guys who right these will have you believe that they are the 10%

1 upvotesJesusfeminist2 months ago

Literally nothing applicable on the post other than “lift” . Just sounds like Pook with aids.

Slightly motivational tho

-7 upvotesAndgelyo2 months ago

All of you niggas are beta as fuck, eat my cum and lick my nuts phaggots.

I’m busy fucking your mothers assholes, come back to me when you’re more alpha than I am cunt

1 upvotesMooxman22 months ago

Real men are direct and straight to the point.Remove the fluff it just sounds juvenile.

26 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

A real man does as he pleases.

-11 upvotesMooxman22 months ago

Yeah bro a real man lets himself get fucked in the ass because real men do as they please.you're just coping if you think that even if a man acts in contraction to how a real man acts that somehow even if he acts like like a women, he will still exude masculinity.That is simply not true. I can see the appeal of these types of posts.But if you think of the most archetypal male you have ever known do you think he would take the time to write the garbage you have written.No.

8 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

I try not to get my advice on how to be a man from Incels.

-10 upvotesMooxman22 months ago

Yeah so don't I bro, that's why I btfo'd your gay little post.And how beta do you have to be to first go through my post history which I literally only have one post and then call me an incel because it said I am active in braincels? Didn't even argue against my point just defaulted to ad hominem exactly like a women would.And your preaching about how to be a man when you make attention seeking posts about marvel,obsess over other men who are you infinitly better then you at a sport and even use reddit unironically.And yeah bro I'm an incel because I used to go on there and try to help them because half of them aren't ugly just disillusioned.But of course your NPC brain falls for the narrative and you think the way they want you to think.redpilled my ass.

6 upvoteschakan22 months ago

Phew...point to u/VisiblePlan. (I hate Incel as a put down, but, well...out Alpha'd) as of now, you sir are Beta'd. Enjoy your 20% child support and long line of failed marriages.

10 upvotesEl-Bard2 months ago

He's not trying to be direct and straight to the point though. He's using hyperbole and emotive language to make us really understand the point he's making. This is all sidebar material nothing new, he's just helping us get a better understanding of it. Tbh its basic persuasive writing, I think he did a great job.

-7 upvotesMooxman22 months ago

Ffs this sub reddit is fucked.I really just had a soyboy who watches midget porn and plays dnd tell me I got out alpha'd.And I fucking know he is not trying to be direct and straight to the point you fucking brainlet.Im saying a real man would be direct and straight to the point.If ops post didn't make you a utomatically cringe and turn your brain off and you thought that it was effective and motivational then your a sensationalist little boy who still get excited by marvel superheroes.And "a real man does what he pleases" is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.Yeah because if a man wants to watch porn,jack off, eat junk,play video games, and not work well I spose he is a real man isn't he.Real men are degenerate hedonist aren't they.Fucking brainless cunts.

8 upvotesTheRedPike2 months ago

I've got like a turkey to wrangle into some brine. I was stupid and got my edlest drunk and now he's trying to put up a tree. Someone made cookies but one of them got ground into the floor and no one can explain why. Holidays and family. I take a two minute break just to chill and I see this shit in my inbox.

WTF

I haven't read it , but I'm pretty sure the top post is going to be a bloodbath. And where are all you dipshits coming from? You don't like it? Then fucking post something better.

And maybe drink less?

7 upvotesVisiblePlan [OP]2 months ago

They don't even hate the message, they just hate the prose, which seems to be the thing new users complain about most.

5 upvotesRightHandWolf2 months ago

I thought your writing was spot on - but then I kind of like things a little over the top and theatrical, since that tends to cut through the clutter.

The scholarly, academic posts have information, but some people can find that style kind of off-putting. There is no one right way of presenting these concepts.

2 upvotesI_Am_Sporktacus2 months ago

This was almost as good as the OP.





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