Gf messages ex. I break up with her. Did I do the right thing?

Dilduo · 2019-11-25T09:26:53+00:00

You did the right thing.

Key factors being she initiated it, and asked him out.

Not LTR material

Don't cave and go back to her, don't even plate her, she'll try to creep back in to your life.

Good you stuck to your guns, I can see your balls from here man. Stay focused out there.

dirkberkis · 2019-11-25T09:32:10+00:00

You did the right thing. Usually gut feelings have merit, and when it comes to snooping, youre only wrong if theyre innocent... which she was not. Theyll try and guilt you into feeling insecure and totally fuck you up if you let them, then they leave cuz youre a pushover and let them do all those things lmao. Trust, this girl has a classification. We've all met one.

As for your question about why... she needs a safety net. A lot of women try having multiple guys for multiple things. One to fuck, one to take home to mom, one to party with, one to help with a phone bill, one to drink with who wont try to fuck them, etc. This girls one of those for sure.

VisiblePlan · 2019-11-25T09:19:28+00:00

Yeah. She's a hoe. She'll probably come back to you. Go lift weights and fuck other women.

hoopingblob · 2019-11-25T09:31:13+00:00

Yes
She tried to cover her mistake by letting you think everything is alright

DominatePressure · 2019-11-25T10:25:10+00:00

I never got lied by gut feelings

victorgrlp99 · 2019-11-25T09:27:14+00:00

You dodged a bullet for sure there buddy. Don't waste more time on her even if she comes back

bsutansalt · 2019-11-25T16:02:49+00:00

You absolutely did the right thing. Let this thread serve as a Red Pill Example of women's duplicitous mating strategy. Odds are you were the beta bucks, or at least a placeholder until something better came along.

This is something we need to discuss more often:

Placeholder relationships

The guys caught up in them are not quite beta bucks, not quite alpha fucks. They're somewhere in between that mid-tier women frequently do until something better comes along. Top-shelf women don't need them since they've got an unending supply of Chads knocking down their doors, but 6, 7, and some 8s on the other hand I'd say most relationships wind up being of this variety.

Not a week goes by I see a thread in some other subreddit or on Facebook with women openly admitting to having guys in this zone for lack of a better word. They know deep down they want better, some even articulating it in plain English, where the guy they're dating is the best they could do at that moment in time, and so they settle and wait until their Chad ex comes sniffing around/gets out of jail or someone higher up the food chain than their current bf starts flirting with them (hypergamy).

alexanderthegroovy · 2019-11-25T09:44:40+00:00

Proud of you son.

hmsthinkingmeat · 2019-11-25T09:29:25+00:00

Yes you did the right thing if she's supposed to be your girlfriend.

And looking through someones phone when you feel something is off is not "wrong" - that's what people who are doing something wrong use to try and blame shift - "never mind the shit I've been doing to you, you invaded my privacy to find out. OMG you're such a bad person, you have trust issues" etc.

2019-11-25T16:18:46+00:00

It's always best to end things when she loses interest. Gives you time to reflect and adjust. It's always your fault. Otherwise she would still be interested in you. Definitely a good thing you caught it early. Given the circumstances I would say you did the right thing.

The reason she wanted you to meet her mother while entertaining another man's attention is simple and savage. There are no lengths a woman will go to maintain the facade of a relationship until she decides to leave. My ex wife sat with me at my grandfather's funeral and then fucked someone else later that night. She was a nurse at the hospital he died in. They have no moral compass, only an emotional one. If your goal was self-preservation and deception you'd do the same.

Cheers!

jackandjill22 · 2019-11-25T09:59:54+00:00

At 4 months it was still a plate anyways

Speedracer1111 · 2019-11-25T13:11:44+00:00

You didn't properly vet her.

3 months ago you posted about a plate that you knew for a couple of weeks and now you post about a gf of 4 months.

Yes you did fine by dumping her, but she should have still been a plate at this point. General rule of thumb is 6 months of vetting before upgrading from plate to girlfriend. First 3-6 months guys and girls are on their best behavior, honeymoon phase, after that phase you see the true them. Hard to lie for longer unless you are a sociopath.

You second point is explained under Lightswitch effect. Good info to learn and now you have experienced some of it.

Now go read the sidebar, which is in the top right corner dropbox under info (I believe) if you are using a mobile.

DerDroogie · 2019-11-25T10:15:29+00:00

You did the right thing. You don’t need to waste your time/energy guessing what’s going on in her hamster brain. She disrespected you. Next.

ohris · 2019-11-25T14:12:51+00:00

She sent me a big text afterwards trying to justify her behavior and make it seem like she did nothing wrong.

Would love to see how she conjured this one.

legend503 · 2019-11-25T11:20:46+00:00

I thought I was against the result by reading the title.

But you did the right thing. Kick her out 😂

TheBunk_TB · 2019-11-25T15:04:29+00:00

She was setting up options. You aren't wrong for letting her leave your life.

Monitorul · 2019-11-25T15:37:43+00:00

SHE asked him out

You did the right thing. Move on and find someone else.

mr4kino · 2019-11-25T11:50:56+00:00

You did well.

Probably an unpopular opinion, but looking at her phone was the right thing to do. You can be sure she would have done the same * 30 times. This simple action made you dodge a freaking bullet.

Well done again.

DoesItMatterTooYou · 2019-11-25T13:02:17+00:00

Great work and exactly right. There are several red flags. She never mentioned you which is a HUGE red flag.

BLOCK her every path back to you and refocus now (gym, plates, etc).

Manny1400 · 2019-11-25T16:05:31+00:00

Yes, kudos on doing the right thing.

I would have immediately dumped her

MattyAnon · 2019-11-25T16:39:02+00:00

I think I'm half at fault here. I probably did something that made her want to branch swing.

Don't blame yourself. AWALT.

Yes you did the right thing, and regardless of blame she's trying to cheat so she's gotta be ditched. Even if your fault..... she's gotta go, because the relationship is now totally fucked.

why the fuck would she invite me to meet her mother 2 weeks into chatting with this dude, knowing she might branch swing anytime soon?

I hate to say this, but she probably saw you sliding into the BB zone, characterised by provider potential and "meet the parents".

Or wasn't she looking to branch swing and was only fishing for attention from this dude?

Definitely more than fishing for attention. Women are attention whores for sure, but this is the actions of a girl trying to meet up, not a girl trying to just get attention. Why isn't your attention enough for her? Because she doesn't fully respect you, that's why.

Next time be more cautious about getting into a LTR, commit less, expect this kind of thing, be ready for it to end at any moment.

Or just don't bother and see FWB's.

introvertp · 2019-11-25T18:01:38+00:00

Being in experienced (not just sexually), whether you told her or not, could have been where you dropped the ball --If you're looking for an answer.

I must commend you for not being needy and showing your willingness to walk away. Always trust your gut.

Edit: really proud of this post, good job OP.

450k_crackparty · 2019-11-25T13:54:18+00:00

You did the right thing. The thing you did especially right was how you broke up with her: swiftly, clinical, and non compromising.

Every man has boundaries. Sometimes they need to be spelled out for a women, but a good one intuitively knows them. It's not that she's 'not allowed' to break these boundaries, it's that if she does then there will be consequences. It's a mindset that both parties in a relationship should have. These aren't 'rules'. Rules are made to be broken. Rules are things that a kid doesn't want to follow but has to abide by or else their parent will send them to their room. Rules are like the speed limit; you don't want to drive under 60, but if you go over you'll pay the price.

These are established boundaries that neither party should WANT to push because they are happy with each other. And if they do, they know the consequences.

lazydogg9 · 2019-11-25T16:00:11+00:00

Congrats you did something half of the TRP "Gurus" don't have the balls to do.

You did the right thing. Gut feelings never lie. She was a hoe and her actions have proved it.

Now don't get weak and text her.

Block her on everything. EVERYTHING.

Bolognaiz · 2019-11-25T11:33:47+00:00

How Can she justify her behavior here ? You did well, don't doubt

amwfhunter · 2019-11-25T13:39:22+00:00

2019-11-25T15:17:24+00:00

just make sure to disconnect from her completely before she has a chance to turn it around and say somehow the whole thing was all your fault. disconnect all social media etc

devrunner86 · 2019-11-25T15:29:19+00:00

Follow your guts, always. Its what lead you to investigate (even thou you know its pushing boundaries). You also showed massive respect by confronting her honestly and allowing her to share her side. Respect bro.

whammyface · 2019-11-25T15:57:32+00:00

Yes and no. It doesn’t matter what they talked about. Don’t commit to a girl that has her ex in her life in any way shape or form. This amount of level of intimacy with ANY man is a big nope from me, actually. But now that I’m older, I would have just shrugged my shoulders and enjoyed her without committing to her and would consider myself free to do as I please.

4juice · 2019-11-25T16:03:31+00:00

What if what you’ve done was the wrong thing? Will you be a puppy dog and apologize to her and take her back? Most probably she wont go back to you one bit. Its okay to trust your instinct and be ruthless.

Nergaal · 2019-11-25T16:13:35+00:00

She sent me a big text afterwards trying to justify her behavior

she isn't even sorry, lol

fitness4393 · 2019-11-25T18:21:13+00:00

She was my first gf, lost my virginity to her

Dude you're doing great if you can stick to it. Like another comment said:

Don't cave and go back to her, don't even plate her, she'll try to creep back in to your life.

If you can do that, you got a good handle on your emotions. Good work man.

johnnydanconia45 · 2019-11-25T14:30:48+00:00

100%. It’s bullshit.

You know she’d lose her mind if you did the same exact thing.

KrissVectorEOC · 2019-11-25T14:50:19+00:00

Yes. Moving forward have more conviction in your actions. Trust yourself.

Crixusgannicus · 2019-11-25T17:20:26+00:00

To quote and/or paraphrase some of the world's greatest philosophers.

1)These hoes ain't loyal.

2)You (might) have 99 problems but THAT bitch ain't one.

RealHedgeFund · 2019-11-25T19:34:03+00:00

What’s up with guys not recommending snooping on phone, when it clearly saved this guy. Snooping makes sense if there is bad gut feeling.

jhx264 · 2019-11-25T22:40:30+00:00

You did the right thing. Only thing you possibly did incorrectly was telling her your reason for breaking up with her.
If I read it right you told her why and that gives her closure and the ability to hamster herself out of agency.

If you told her you just weren't feelin it anymore or that you're super busy and don't have time for a relationship or some bullshit that would cause her to always wonder about what happened.

Good job having self-worth and not standing for bullshit though dude

syf3r · 2019-11-25T14:41:51+00:00

For the immediate future, this is going to suck. Because it's an LTR. And you'll probably question your decision. Thoughts of the good times you two had will come up and you might have the urge to reconsider. A tinge of regret will come up every now and then. But IMHO, you did the right thing. You'd probably be raped in one way or another if you further invest your time and energy with her. Will we know for sure? NO. And there in lies staring into the abyss.

WolfofAllStreetz · 2019-11-25T14:04:31+00:00

AWALT.

Well done.

lolomotif12 · 2019-11-25T12:44:14+00:00

You did the right thing. The fact that she was initiating contact and asking him out as well as sending him pictures of herself proves she was not LTR material. Good thing you dodged this bullet early on and things will be easier. Always trust your gut! Trust isnt given, its earned!

rizzyfromthe9 · 2019-11-25T13:14:09+00:00

Of course you did, good job

strainer123 · 2019-11-25T13:20:51+00:00

Yes you did the right thing, and she was cold like that because they all are, women are masters of manipulation, she was pushing things forward with you while considering her alternative, maybe she was getting bored or scared of commitment so she started considering her alternative more seriously.

bojack_horsemam · 2019-11-25T16:51:45+00:00

You did the right thing man.

Last year, before I began to elevate myself to alpha status I was in a similar situation.

My ex would lie and manipulate me any way she wanted, always on the phone, taking to "guy friends" on social media. I always had a gut feeling about it, but I was too beta to do anything.

Looking back, finally dumping hey was my best move. She apologized, cried, begged me back, but by then I was ready to make a life change.

iamdaddy254 · 2019-11-25T17:10:41+00:00

Yessir! You did the right thing!

You get a fresh clean slate my man! Watch out world!

Pokeylaw · 2019-11-25T17:15:53+00:00

My cousin was in the exact same situation mofo broke up then got back together in less than 24hrs. Now he's sad af trying to talk to me about he can't trust her. I told him straight up break up or deal with it, your relationship not mine.

aWorldBornDead · 2019-11-25T17:16:11+00:00

You can do everything right and they might still cheat on you. Some people are just shitty like that.
She probably wasnt trying to branch off. Just trying to have some side cake and eat it too.
It's up to you if you did the right thing. If you dont tolerate that disrespect, then yes you did the right thing by ending it.

EvelynnSpoiler · 2019-11-25T17:48:10+00:00

I was at a party on Friday and made convo with some guy waiting for his gf in the toilet. When she came out, she started asking who I was and what I'm doing here. Within 30 seconds she had her hands on my chest and was flirting in front of her BF.

I looked at him and he just stayed quiet. I didn't want to be a dick, but I should've pulled him aside and told him to ditch her.

A woman showing any signs of interest like that should definitely be dumped. OP you did the right thing

InsidiousCurve · 2019-11-25T18:39:35+00:00

I always come back and look through these threads once in a while. This is a good example of women in their party years imo. She knows she's young and her ego is high since she's getting a bunch of attention from guys. Honestly, why break up with her? If she's starts to be disrespectful toward you, then do it. Otherwise, utilize dread game and push her out a bit. Let her come back and enter your frame. You should know this is going to happen and every chick in her party years is going to take full advantage of the attention. Why even call a 19 year old..etc your gf? Just plate her..etc. You shouldn't be thinking about anything exclusive/long-term for a while.

Lib-Tears-in-my-cup · 2019-11-25T18:43:11+00:00

You did the right thing. If she messaged me its b/c his cock was on her mind. I would find that very disrespectful.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-11-25T18:59:48+00:00

Yes, you did the right thing. Good on you for dumping her and keeping your balls. Now just do NOT let her back. Ghost her forever.

Always futile trying to guess why a woman did something, but likely reasons are she still has some emotions for the guy and/or you were weak and lost frame somewhere. Maybe she was alpha widowed. But its a waste of time trying to think about why, the key now is moving on to new women and staying on purpose.

Casanova-Quinn · 2019-11-25T21:37:58+00:00

why the fuck would she invite me to meet her mother 2 weeks into chatting with this dude, knowing she might branch swing anytime soon? Or wasn't she looking to branch swing and was only fishing for attention from this dude?

Pretty simple, she's keeping you as a backup plan if things don't work out with her ex. That's how branch swinging works, the girl will hold onto the beta until she's confident the alpha will commit.

californiawaves23 · 2019-11-25T22:41:37+00:00

Way to keep a good mindset about it all. There could be a thousand reason why she was chatting with her ex. Here’s the thing, if you were official then you did the right thing and never look back. HOWEVER, if there was no guidelines in place and you were never official then you overstepped and lost frame.

Good luck

ButMessiDeservedIt · 2019-11-25T22:52:41+00:00

Mate, GOOD for you. You did the right thing.

JohnBoyAndBilly · 2019-11-25T22:59:51+00:00

I mean, are these stories real? "The day I found out about her messages, I met her mother, I fucked her there times, and she cleaned my house and did my dishes." What the hell?

muricanwerewolf1 · 2019-11-25T23:09:31+00:00

You did the right thing, this monkey was looking to grab onto another branch.

And to the second, reread the side bar. Women are not rational. You know it's bizarre to introduce your mother to someone you're considering leaving, but the female hamster can rationalize any act.

Funny story, a young woman I was seeing was hanging out with myself, and also still seeing her ex when I met her parents. The feeling of dislike of this older man playing with their daughter, destroying her relationship with her highschool/college sweetheart was palpable. The irony is, of course, she was no victim in any way. A couple years go by and we start dating again, only this time she ends it with me to start dating my younger brother! Can you imagine being her parents and trying to follow, let along understand what the hell she was thinking?

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2019-11-25T23:28:58+00:00

Sounds like you got your head on straight. Keep sharpening those darts

macheagle · 2019-11-25T23:58:56+00:00

You did the right thing. Look at what she did in just 4 months - now imagine 4 years into the relationship. You’re learning how to vet an LTR which is great, but you should be dating more women as plates so that you build abundance mentality and a better data pool for what women do in relationships and as a partner.

Based on how you wrote your post and going straight for self-criticism, I have a good feeling you’re going to go a long way. I admire your thinking that you probably did something to make her contact the ex. This is usually true and you may have failed consecutive shit tests from her and she was looking to branch swing or keep options around.

You’re young, very young, so keep building experience and don’t settle until you’ve fully understood yourself and reasonably understood women.

Hedser91 · 2019-11-26T01:34:43+00:00

You did the thing, remember that when it gets hard she would've fucked that ex and would've never told you. You would be scrambling your member in that guys man juices. Imagine the humiliation and she would not bat an eye.

2019-11-26T06:36:11+00:00

Didn’t need to read past the first bullet point.

she initiated it ? NEXTTT

Vynxe-Vainglory · 2019-11-25T10:20:37+00:00

Going through her phone is not a big no no

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2019-11-25T09:54:47+00:00

Good work my friend.

scorpionkg · 2019-11-25T12:57:32+00:00

Yes! You did! Set your boundaries! Good job!

Jabbermouth · 2019-11-25T16:23:55+00:00

Be glad you didn’t marry this girl.

Just outta curiosity how long did you vet her for?

blacwidonsfw · 2019-11-25T16:26:58+00:00

Good job. There will be many more. Enjoy your life

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-11-25T16:40:37+00:00

Hey man good on you. It's hard to dump a girl you like especially if it's the first piece of ass you ever got. Luckily for me the first few girls I banged were just hookups. It was a later one they got her hooks into me.

This girl was trying to gaslight you. Trying to make You seem like the crazy one for thinking any of this is inappropriate, and making the misdemeanor of looking in her phone greater than the felony of the stuff she was doing.

guys any of y'all in here calling this dude a beta cut him some slack. He had the guts to trust his instincts and the guts to dump this chick. He's doing fine.

That said get to the gym or do the thing that you're passionate about that's going to make you get in great shape.

And get two or three girls on rotation.

The reason for doing this, spinning plates, is that it creates abundance. If you're dating multiple women and have options then when you decide to go into an LTR with one of them you're not coming from a place of neediness.

2019-11-25T17:38:43+00:00

Congrats, OP. You got /r /relationships and /r /twoxchromosomes types answers out of TRP.

sebastianconcept · 2019-11-25T21:50:35+00:00

Hands down you did the right thing.

redditispathetic123 · 2019-11-26T14:21:42+00:00

She asked him out? why did you make this post, there is no earth where not dumping her isnt the right answer. wtf

Herdsengineers · 2019-11-26T17:26:06+00:00

You did the right thing. Her text justifying her behavior and defending what she did, instead of apologizing for being disrespectful of you, further shows this chick is not a good one for you. She's gonna end up worn out with the 1000 cock stare in a few years, and you'll be glad you jumped ship when you did even more so then.

2019-11-26T17:42:04+00:00

She a hoe lol

GameOfBimbos420 · 2019-12-04T01:14:33+00:00

I remember my first.... ignore her until she wants to fuck again then fuck her brains out then ghost her

mustardplug1 · 2019-12-09T03:29:28+00:00

You did the right thing bro. Sounds like you are very young since it’s your first GF. Your lucidity to the situation is impressive. You will go far

superstar84b · 2019-12-21T10:13:57+00:00

It was time to get out of there. If you don't feel prioritized, you're probably not. The answer is really simpler than you think. Ask yourself, "do I feel comfortable with my gf flirting with another dude and openly trying to hangout with him, especially if it's a dude she's already dated?". The answer is probably no. Since you're young, this is why I'd recommend spinning plates and not settling down. The frame of the relationship needs to be set before you even enter it, which wasn't possible here because you were a virgin. This relationship was a good stepping stone and experience. You are already better off than some dudes in their 30s and 40s because they wouldn't have had the courage to put themselves first when they were undervalued. It's HARD because it's your first time and it's HARD to adapt to the red pill to begin with. But you took the first step and handled this the way you should.

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2019-12-22T20:02:52+00:00

You did.

I had a similar issue with my ex, she kept her ex on the hook for basically a year before I found out. When I did find out, we had already signed a lease together.

After another year I basically had to tell her that I had no feelings for her anymore. It never got better.

VigilantSmartbomb · 2019-11-25T11:38:15+00:00

It's always 100% your fault-

But you can't control her actions, only her drive indirectly

You did the right thing, now address what made her do it and fix it for the next one

Why you ask? Cause she wanted her cake and to eat it too lol

Instead of actually investing in a person, she'd rather get fucked on one side, and have the 'life' on the other side.

Sounds like you need to stay away from the LTRs for a min and practice ya dick game homie---

Good dick will always keep them coming back, and keep them from straying 9 times outa 10.

AlmostWardCunningham · 2019-11-25T16:58:08+00:00

You should have kept her as a plate and tried to find someone else.

zav25 · 2019-11-25T17:02:47+00:00

If you are confident in your ability to control your emotions you should attempt to plate her.

McVaghunter · 2019-11-25T13:24:09+00:00

You did the right thing but it was powered by an irrelevant reason. This whole monogamous "my gf" "my LTR" "cheating" bluepilled shit does not belong here.

People with options are not LTR material, we branch swing whenever a better alternative is available. Spin plates.

AWALT99 · 2019-11-25T14:08:20+00:00

Sorry for hijacking this post. Just wanted to share my story and also get some advice for pushing forward after a breakup.

Me (34 M) recently came out of a nasty breakup with my ex (25 F) two months ago.Met online, chatted for a while and finally went on our first date. A few weeks later she came to my apartment. By the 2nd date she was sucking my dick like her life depended on it, deepthroating and all and she even let me cum in her mouth and she swallowed.

I was kinda disgusted when she swallowed that quick but who cares I liked it. She made a comment that pissed me off, saying she doesn't like the taste of cum its too salty but mine isn't..I knew I was probably dealing with a slut but anyway. She didn't give it up that day since she had the period but eventually gave it up by the 3rd date.

We became official 3 months later, didn't live together or anything. She had too many red flags which made me wonder why I would commit to someone like that. Unstable personality which she tends to blame on her abusive ex.. Of course they never blame themselves.

We dated from December 2018 until September 2019. Things started deteriorating since May 2019, and I noticed she was pulling away being slightly cold, takes a lot of time responding to texts 8 hrs when she's at work and blaming in it on being busy..also withholding sexually.. I called her out on it - mistake.

Then I told her over the phone that I wanted to end it. She said she doesn't want to and she asked to come here so we can mend things etc of course typical female manipulation she came here and promised she will change etc and me like a good beta gave her a chance.. 3 weeks later didn't notice much improvement. Waited for her to come here gave me a blowjob and fucked her ass till I tore it up and came inside etc I was mad af.

After she left I told her it was over.. She said she knew I was gonna do that and asked if she can still come from time to time. I said yes but don't expect anything non-physical.

She came on August 8 and before entering the apartment she freaked out and wanted to leave and told me she wasn't sure what my intentions were and she was afraid i was planning something lol straight up psycho and she ran towards the elevator panicking and shaking, she said she just wants to sit down at the lobby.

We sat down for almost 3 hours complete waste of my time then she took an uber and went home. She never came again until begining of September. During that time all we were talking about is how she doesn't trust me and some horseshit, she is always projecting her abusive past onto me, which was something I noticed very early as a red flag but ignored.

During the 1 month+ period we didn't see each other she sometimes initiated contact during that period but we would go 2 or 3 days without contact. Finally she came begining of September and by that time I guess we were both checked out of the relationship, few days later on September 13 she calls me in the morning while I was at work and started telling me your tone is aggressive and you are rude rn etc then we hung up. THIS is the interesting part.

I sent her a text immediately telling her its over and I can't put up with her crap anymore. Then headed to a meeting shortly after. When I got out of the meeting there was still no response, I called her a few times- ask me why!! Then sent her other messages saying if u don't respond by 11am you are blocked and I don't wanna hear your voice again. Next thing I know is her blocking me on whatsapp lol.

Then I go ahead and send her text messages saying why would u block me? And told her am coming to your work to grab coffee and talk about things- she freaked out calling me and panicking and telling me she called the police blah blah then she said she will call me after work. So she calls me at 5pm and asks if we can meet. I told her where to come, so we meet at a coffee shop and she says how scared she is etc same old crap.

Then she went home and I went home. The next day she calls me asking if she can come to my house. So she comes and tells me the relationship is over, you eneded it yesterday and I agree I don't want a relationship with you after what you did yesterday. I said fine. I was calm af and didn't show any emotion. She then said she wants to be FWB ans asked if I wanted to fuck. I said no thanks maybe another time, it bruised her ego and she asked me are you sure? I said yes.

But I'll let you know when I want. She said Ok. Then she left. We talked at night and I had a few drinks then went all beta over the phone telling her I don't want that FWB shit. Then she tried to convince me, eventually told her I will see. Next day I told her I will only be Ok with it if we were exclusive, she said Ok and we left it at that.

At the point I was already in the gym for 2 weeks, lost 13lbs and continued focusing on my self, eating healthy, lifting, sleeping well etc then I took a week off work to go to California, before I left I texted her so we can meet up the Saturday after I came back, and asked her to confirm via text. She called me to wish me a good trip and said she will check her schedule at work and confirm. I said Ok.

4 days later, I had drunk called her at 5pm, she didn't answer, called again at 8pm she didn't answer as she was still at work. Alcohol tricked me into texting her saying why are u not answering all that crap and then told her forget about our fwb arrangement. She calls me shortly after and we talked for a bit then hung up. The next morning I send her a series of beta messages.

Including screenshots of texts between me and my female cousin, who asked about how my relationship was, I told her we are no longer together etc and that since my dad's diagnosis I haven't been the same person and treated my gf bad and I rarely cry but I am crying because I could lose my dad at any time etc some bullshif beta stuff that I still don't understand why I sent.

Anyway, she says are u sending me this to try and get back with me using your dad as an excuse. The drunk me said yes, from there we started an argument and she insults me and I insulted her back it was ugly, she then said I believe the screenshots were made up, u have free time in your hands and sitting there obsessing about me lol.. Anyway we end it there. Next day i call her and the same thing we get into an argument and she has a mental breakdown and gets her dad on the phone to ask me not to contact again.

She blocked my number the same day. I then relapsed into my old drinking habits and start calling/texting from different numbers. I called and texted over a period of weeks every time while under the influence. She eventually changed her number. A week later I call her office and she didn't wanna talk -obviously.

Now she's on that pedestal. I then threaten to call her family and tell them we had a sexual relationship. She comes from a religious family. So I call and spoke with her parents and told them. That same day they called my family and asked them to make me stop or they will go to the police. I stayed quite until two weeks later when I sent her an e-mail to her work e-mail.

I fucking hate alcohol man. Makes me do some dumb shit. Anyway while I was randomly looking to see if they filed anything against me, I went online and looked up my name and saw that they tried to file for a peace order against me the same day they called my family but it was denied due to lack of sufficient evidence.

Since then I cut the alcohol and just focusing on my self. It was quite an experience. This is not something that I would normally do, but this bitch has a way of making people act this way, what's funny is that her ex did the exact same thing but he took it a step further and went to her houss until her father and brother got involved.

I should have heeded the message from the very begining when she was paranoid at the begining of the relationship and telling me about all the stories about her ex.

What do you suggest now, going monk mode for a while and focus on myself, my job, and kicking addiction, staying in the gym etc and leave gaming women until I have stabilized a little bit and forgot this relationship. It seems I secretly developed onitis in the process without even noticing. Onitis is a bitch man. I have been very distracted at work and life in general, it seems that this hoe was taking a lot of my time and I somehow became a codependent bitch! Whats your advice in getting over this quickly and move on?

Title	Gf messages ex. I break up with her. Did I do the right thing?
Author	zav25
Upvotes	288
Comments	195
Date	November 25, 2019 9:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e1dk1b/gf_messages_ex_i_break_up_with_her_did_i_do_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-messages-ex-i-break-up-with-her-did-i-do-the.297171 https://theredarchive.com/post/297171

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