Having an abundance mentality gets a lot of discussion on MRP. And it should; it is one of the cornerstones of a strong frame. You can't be outcome independent when trying for sex if this is your One Shot and you're desperate for success. Day one shit.
But I've seen a lot of guys-especially newer guys like me-not realize that there are really two kinds of abundance. There is the abundance that comes from knowing you can go down to the local dive bar and end up with some ONS, or lock down a new LTR if that's your thing. This abundance is great for quenching that fear of the relationship falling apart. It lets you respond with actual indifference to threats and run higher levels of dread. It lets you kill the puppy, if you have to.
But there is also abundance within the relationship: literally, is sex within your LTR happening frequently. Are you likely to get shot down if you initiate? Is the sex likely to be good, or starfish? Is getting sex easy enough that you can be lighthearted and fun about it?
Missing either level of abundance wreaks havoc on your relationship. We all know what missing external abundance does. You put your wife up there on a pedestal because she's the only pussy you'll ever get, start acting like a good little beta, and watch as her pussy dries up into oblivion. There's no abuse you won't tolerate and rationalize, and your wife hates you for it.
But when you miss internal abundance, you lack the ability to be OI with sexual initiation. When you've saved up three months worth of betabux and nagged your wife into scheduling some Wednesday night duty sex, and she is "sick" or "tired" and you go angry jerk off in the bathroom, it sucks. And even if you aren't a total faggot and manage to play it off like you don't care, you're still just acting, because you do fucking care. And your wife can tell, and the bitterness just puts more pressure on her to meet your covert contracts and dries her up even more.
Having solid external abundance actually makes the lack of internal abundance more bitter. You think, "fuck you, bitch, there's three women I know who would fuck me right now and you're acting offended that I tried to get inside your size 15 granny panties." And long term, you either cheat or leave, because you're tired of not eating ramen when there's steak across the street.
But when you have internal abundance? That bitterness goes right away. If your wife is "too tired" for sex, but you've fucked the previous four nights and will probably fuck tomorrow, you won't give a shit. And you won't be acting, you'll just know that you can get it when you want it, so not getting it right now doesn't matter.
And like external abundance snowballs on itself (abundance -> more confidence ->more abundance), internal abundance does the same thing (abundance -> OI -> better sex -> more abundance).
Internal abundance without external abundance is unstable. It leads to putting the pussy on a pedestal and all but guarantees that the internal abundance dries up. External abundance without internal abundance leads to bitterness and eventually kills the relationship.
This is why, when starting out, you fuck your wife every chance you get. If you are having regular sex, one off night doesn't send you back into a validation spiral or beta puke. You have to create the sense of abundance within the relationship that you are creating outside of it. Or else the babysitter ends up pregnant.
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