The blackpill is destroying my life and i really don't know how to get out of it.

TheMadWoodcutter · 2019-10-02T14:44:10+00:00

For starters, stop calling them uncomfortable truths and recognize them for what they are. Lies and half truths at best, being sold as truth for the sole purpose of making you hate yourself.

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2019-10-02T12:16:58+00:00

If i may ask you a question:

If you're lonely, why is the first place you head to the lowest common denominator of subreddits?

Clearly there are other subreddits. r/photography, r/geocaching, r/hiking, r/cooking, etc etc. I could go on and on with subs that are good skills/hobbies where people love to talk about it.

Maybe you can head to your local subreddit and discuss local politics and things to do.

Maybe you're suddenly interested in other lifestyles, curious, so you hang out in r/bdsmcommunity or r/offthegrid or r/economics and ask questions. I do that a lot.

Why would, with all the infinite places on Reddit to go and break your loneliness would you go to a place that amplifies your problem.

Seems less of a BP/RP thing and more of a you thing... Maybe learn to love yourself a little bit more to see that you have a chance to diversify yourself and chosing to isolate is your way of avoiding anything uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable, it's your way out.

JontheDILF · 2019-10-02T15:55:11+00:00

Hey man. Look, I went down the blackpill path myself. It made me clinically depressed. I have body dysmorphia because of it. I realized my whole life I had a small chin, a weak jaw, flat cheekbones, huge forehead, naso-labial folds, and I'm 5'10. To boot, I have a basic ass boring life, and in not great shape. I have scars on my arms from IV drugs in my early 20's. After reading red pill and black pill material, the world has become a much worse place. I got sick and tired of feeling this way. I went to a doc, got put on an anti depressant, and made every bit of effort to get out and socialize. My life is improving and I'm starting to feel like my old self. I feel my sense of humour and will to live coming back. It's imperative to stop reading those subreddits, especially blackpill related ones. What was my old self like? I was a guy who didn't care about being the best looking, I just took care of myself, and I got my fair share of female attention at that time. 3 girlfriends in my life, and about 25+ sexual partners, despite going through year long droughts and being pretty low-libido (almost never chased). I'm 28 now, so not that bad. Blackpill is one of the commiserating subreddits. Have you ever spoken to people in real life about looks, or just looked around? Plenty of mis matched couples on the daily. Men value looks more, yet I still find myself falling for the least attractive girl in my orbit from time to time. Blackpill and redpill subreddits aim for the low-hanging fruit girls. They have low self esteem and don't really value emotional intimacy. Trust me, I've been with many girls like that. Nutted in 20 seconds or fucked em with gummy worm dick and they never hit me up again. Guess what? In an air of panic I'd reach out to friends and family about this massive insecurity, and they'd laugh and say it happens from time to time, and their girlfriends don't give a flying fuck. There are wholesome good girls out there. I know it's a cliche, but making women a priority to making yourself feel better will ruin your life. If you focus on your mission (the only good lesson I found in redpill), and just mingle with men and women the same, women will just be drawn to you. Hit me up if you need help brother.

PithyApollo · 2019-10-02T18:46:43+00:00

They're not "uncomfortable truths." They're lies, or they take a tiny bit of truth and twist it to make a lie more believable.

People fall for these kinds of lies when they confuse pessemism for realism. They're not the same. You're not being smart, you're not being rational.

Here's the truth: I dont know what would pull you out of the black-pill mentality. None of us do. Frankly, the only thing that pulled me out of some equally dark mental states was anti-depressants. There were no mental tricks, no folksy aphorisms, no ancient philosophy that were going to turn me around. Treat depression like it's a physical injury (because it is). If you're depressed, you need medical attention.

Also, look at the people you hang out with. If you have friends or family who are reinforcing these "uncomfortable truths," you need some distance.

If it's just internet forums, stop going to them. Reading all the woo-woo fake science about what the shape of your chin means is just a different form of self-harm, like cutting. You're cutting.

There's a ton of other good advice here, but I'm sure you've heard them all: exercise, socialize, get a hobby, focus on your career. All of that stuff absolutely helps, and if you can do it you really should. But depression, like any other physical injury, can keep you from doing all that.

Dustin_Bromain · 2019-10-02T16:12:38+00:00

Get off the internet for a while and experience real-life. Nothing in real-life works exactly the way the idiotic internet says it does.

The_Spicy_brown · 2019-10-02T18:07:24+00:00

Getting out of the black pill mindset is hard. Ive been on r9k, r/incels(before it was shut down) and other sites for a while. Its so easy to get back in those subreddit whenever you feel down or lonely since thats the only time you can let out your emotions and have a support on your view. Its the only time you actually feel accepted and special, even tough it does not help your situation as a whole.

You said it yourself. You feel lonely. You should start to find a hobby, sport, anything to be part of a group. And not a forum or discord group, what you need is too interact with an actual human being in the flesh, not one behind a screen. Thats probably the first big step to get out of the black pill. Most people who got out of the black pill cite either there friends or newly found GF for helping them completly getting out. But, even if you have friends or a GF, it always starts with you changing. None of those thing will happen to you if you dont change. And the best way to change is to build self confidence, hence doing something with your hands/ going to competition / hobbies ,etc will help you achieving that self confidence you need.

Hope it helps in some way and best of luck. I believe you can do it like many others did.

GargamelLeNoir · 2019-10-02T21:22:09+00:00

In her incel videos Contrapoint pointed out that she was also addicted to self destructive communities similar to the incel ones, and that she used special browser extensions to block them for good. You should look into that.

Also they are NOT uncomfortable truth, get that out of your head. Their entirely philosophy is built on self pity, self loathing and catastrophism.

Polojames123 · 2019-10-02T13:28:59+00:00

hmmm... How about you make actual real friends in real life, yaknow?

All those subreddits are bullshit, and most of the people pretend to be people they aren't. Go make friends in the real world, the virtual world is bullshit. Thank me later.

NotCleverNamesTaken · 2019-10-02T14:15:11+00:00

The starting point may differ person to person, but I find the most black pillers don't like themselves and it manifests in toxic behaviors.

How do you feel about yourself? How are things going?

brahmidia · 2019-10-03T00:47:08+00:00

In addition to the above, the standard Reddit advice of "delete social media, hit the gym," etc applies. For example I'm not a big beer drinker but many cafes and bars have trivia nights that are casual, easy to pop into, and often full of nerds (depending on the venue of course.) Key is meeting people face to face in easy social situations that don't have to turn into anything significant but could. Or hell, local Pokemon Go groups. Or maybe you're in bumfuck idaho and there's "nothing" -- but I bet there's a full schedule of social events in your local newspaper, a dozen social service organizations, and a community college with creative and interesting classes. I know it sounds lame because we convince ourselves at age 13 that we're nerds and all we've got is video games, but fact is all sorts of great people go to these kinds of things to "get out and meet people" (romantically or platonically) and that's simply the best antidote to loneliness there is. It's not sexy or popular to think about old people hobbies, but if anyone makes combatting loneliness a profession it's retirees. I personally have learned more woodworking and welding and metalworking from 70-year-olds than you can imagine and that enriches my life, makes me feel creative, and gives me social connections that span generations in ways that you just can't get digitally or in grade school. The key to becoming un-isolated is to un-isolate yourself.

ihaveasmallpeniss · 2019-10-03T09:34:25+00:00

Listen to me boyo. I spent two years on blackpill/incel forums and now I'm mostly out of the mindset. Here's what you do: go outside.

Sounds deceptively simple, but what you need to do is spend time where people meet up. Look at the couples. Something I always notice is seeing "betas" or "cucks" with good-looking girls. I see short guys with taller girls a bunch, I see guys whom incels would consider "subhuman" with cute girls, I see awkward autists with pretty girlfriends.

The obvious blackpill retort is that they are betabux. Ask yourself this: what is the evidence? You know nothing about them. For all you know, the girl is probably more accomplished than the guy. I've seen this in several circumstances; a pretty girl dating a meh guy where the girl is making more.

Another thing I realized is that many girls are actually distrustful of good-looking guys. A girl I was dating briefly showed me her activity on the app we matched on and she was ignoring the stereotypical "Chads" because she saw them as fuckboys. A lot of women will gravitate towards less attractive, but kind men because they consider them more down-to-earth and trustworthy. Many women have tried dating the "Chads" and ended up getting burned.

One more thing is that incels know nothing about dating. The extent of their dating experience is Chad Tinder experiments. Check this post: https://lookism.net/showthread.php?tid=475244

The blackpill is cope used by socially anxious autists to explain and externalize their failures. It will take you some time to realize, but the more time you spend in the real world, the quicker you will drop the blackpill mentality.

Girls want to be loved more than anything. They don't want to invest emotionally in fuckboy "Chads" who will just ghost them randomly. Some girls will do this, but only initially. I've seen this with girls who are new to dating or girls who have been in LTRs for a while and just became single. They were burned and then all of a sudden they're dating meh guys. It's not that they're settling. It's that they realize that looks aren't that important. These same girls turn out to be very happy and in love with the guys they are dating.

Looks matter to an extent, but not really. They matter WAY more to men than women. I think the incel conviction that "looks are everything" is a projection of male interests to women. Women know what a good-looking guy looks like and do find certain guys attractive, but they won't necessarily want to date them. The women who only want to date good-looking guys (they do exist) turn out to be quite bitchy honestly (hope I'm allowed to say that). They are useless thots and boring as hell anyway. You're better off filtering them out.

TheBertlOida · 2019-10-18T13:53:34+00:00

How it helped me to achieve the white pill.

Step 1: Synthwave Step 2: Vanguard and Xurious Step 3: Julius Evola Step 4: Paint,write,play instrument Step 5: Achieve your own freedom, by accepting things as they are, some people cant have kids some can, dont rely on your golden chains. Go outdoors.

"Hey OP when was the last time you saw the beauty of nature, go to the woods and take your shoes of, embrace the silence, embrace life, and when you are ready go home and do art."

Go and dont give a fuck what people say to you. Go out and life your live.

They cant hurt you anymore only you yourself can.

So what im saying is basically, find your peace.

SativaTony · 2019-10-02T15:08:13+00:00

The truth is looks do matter, but so do many other factors. I think you should look into daygame as this has helped me self improve with women and socially. It forces you to go outside and be social with women. You can message me if you need any help regards to that.

totorox · 2019-10-02T13:05:55+00:00

no the black pill isnt about sexual dynamics in particular

Title	The blackpill is destroying my life and i really don't know how to get out of it.
Author	novelgrowth16
Upvotes	24
Comments	26
Date	October 2, 2019 12:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/dc979b/the_blackpill_is_destroying_my_life_and_i_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/the-blackpill-is-destroying-my-life-and-i-really.299571 https://theredarchive.com/post/299571