I almost ended up hooking up with a girl from tinder, but feel like I’ve shot myself in the foot?

1Here4Bach · 2019-08-10T12:27:04+00:00

Why don’t you tell her your intentions instead of trying to lead her on with dates? It’s tinder, the app is for hookups it’s okay to be up front about wanting hook ups. It’s not okay to lead someone on with the promise of something more just so you can manipulate your way into having sex with them.

She’s probably confused on if she wants to see you because she’s unsure of what you want. Do you want a one night stand, FWB, a potential girlfriend?

Let her know what you want so she has a chance to decide if that’s what she wants too. If she doesn’t want what you want, that’s fine. The world isn’t going to end. There’s other girls on tinder and in the real world.

Coollogin · 2019-08-10T12:46:01+00:00

But I’ve got a suspicion that I ruined it for myself because I kept telling her myself that it’s okay if she didn’t want me to come to her place and that I would’ve taken her on a proper first date some other day? I said that out of courtesy but I actually really wanted to go to her place and have casual sex?

Why would you prefer to have casual, practically anonymous sex over taking her out and getting to know her before having sex?

sunsinclair · 2019-08-11T07:10:33+00:00

1) I would guess if you really thought about it you probably want to date not just have random sex which is rare for women to want. There’s almost no chance that these women only want random sex with you, if you were very attractive that would still be the case. I know women who have random sex on tinder, they’re extremely rare. That being said there are plenty of women who are looking to have sexual relationships that don’t have to be like committed boyfriends, seems like that’s what you’re looking for too. Women aren’t stupid they know you’re leaving if you tell them. They just also want to probably feel some level of safety and connection.

2) If a woman is taking advantage of you for being a nice guy it’s cause you’re looking for sex in exchange for your behavior. That’s not only a recipe to be taken advantage of it’s entitled. Most nice guys are entitled guys who will later be resentful guys. She’d rather date a guy who is an asshole than a guy who is nice now and will later secretly hate her and try to control her with guilt and her attachment to you. So it’s less that women are dumb enough to be attracted to assholes it’s more that they’re smart enough to avoid being attracted to future bigger assholes. A genuinely secure assertive guy is better than either, he’s the least asshole.

Chaz_m1398 · 2019-09-22T00:30:27+00:00

...im pretty sure there’s plenty of women out there that only want casual hookups, not EVERY woman wants to be in a relationship right now, and you shouldn’t lead on the girls that would do just because you want to have a 5 minute hump.

Thats the one of the main things that causes shitty people to pop up. risk messing that girls Psyche up towards other men, and then they’ll become the women that MGTOW and InCels are obsessed with because what’s the point in loving a man if he’ll never love you back, right? Just use him for his money like he’d use you for sex. It’s ridiculous that people don’t realise shit like this is the reason misandry and misogyny towards relationships exist. I know this, because I’ve almost fallen into that mentality before! You get played enough times, especially as someone as empathetic as me, you’re going to start having that mentality of giving up and being what the people that used you are; users and cheats.

There’s people out there that yearn for love, men and women. There’s also men and women that aren’t ready for commitment and just want casual sex (because sex is completely natural and is just good in general lol). There’s also assholes (like you) that think of or even do start leading women on with lies for sex instead of just being honest and saying “look I don’t want a relationship I just want a FWB or casual ONS, would that be ok with you?” If not, look for someone else that is up for it.

ThorGrayV · 2019-08-10T19:11:14+00:00

Your post is exactly why I deleted tinder

Guys trying to sleep with me who come across as nice at first

Most of us actually are looking for someone to be nice to us

Please go ex red pill and / or be honest about your intentions

This is why internet dating is broken

BMXTKD · 2019-08-19T16:43:27+00:00

Move on. She's on tinder. Tinder isn't a place where you find a wife.

absolutebeginners · 2019-08-10T15:19:36+00:00

Well why'd you do that? You learned, don't fuck it up again.

HoRaTiO12345 · 2019-08-10T10:16:18+00:00

Don't sweat this. This is the fickle nature of women. There could be a hundred reasons external to you that caused her behaviour. There is no logic to their actions.

Title	I almost ended up hooking up with a girl from tinder, but feel like I’ve shot myself in the foot?
Author	bigflame123
Upvotes	7
Comments	46
Date	August 10, 2019 10:10 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/cogaph/i_almost_ended_up_hooking_up_with_a_girl_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-almost-ended-up-hooking-up-with-a-girl-from.299652 https://theredarchive.com/post/299652