Want Better Women? Stop Feeding The Beast of Online Dating [RoK]

BlueEyezzz · 2015-03-08T03:59:10+00:00

Yes and no... your post makes a solid point when it comes to online dating, but no, I do not believe that you're associated with beta losers for doing the whole online dating game.

I started using Tinder more than a year ago and had some great experiences. The analogy of the Special Olympics is hard, but I think you are right on that point. The thing is, on the other hand, for some it can be a starting point.

About two years ago I was terrible with women. Using Tinder, I started experimenting. Just experiment with different types of profiles, pictures and messages. This has made me an expert now, some of my friends refer to me as 'Tindermeister'. It was all a big experiment and has been fun. Now... one year down the road and 42 women that I dated in that time, it has gained huge perspectives. As in... I now know how fucked up some women can be. I now know that some of the most beautiful women are, in reality, the most insecure creatures I have ever witnessed. I now know what 'the wall' means from my own experiences. I know which signs to look for.

I had dates with girls who are 8 years younger. I banged a MILF that was 10 years older (I am 29). I even made some friends with benefits. Why Tinder? Fuck it... why not? But you know what, let me tell you:

You can be associated with beta losers only if you perceive yourself like that. You gain what you put into it. I was called 'different' a lot of times (saying the opposite from most of the 'losers', doing things differently and being interesting). Although it might be a little ego trip to hear that you, as a man, are 'different' than many others, I actually don't give two shits about it.
Almost every woman that I encountered there has failed in getting a relationship. They are too busy riding the cock carousel or are just plain difficult (AWALT applies here). So yeah, there is a certain type of woman on apps like this.
Although there was some romance involved (I loved playing Casanova and date multiple women at the same time), I never thought I would actually get an LTR out of it. Just some bangs, maybe some FWBs and an occasional friend (I got two mutual friend zoned friendships out of it who are now both friends and great wings)
I considered Tinder as a way to meet new people. As in, just enjoy the process, but do NOT focus on some expected outcome. A lot of times I just had coffee and a good chat. In my research mindset, I gained a shitload of information from them. This was even before I discovered TRP, but TRP has given me the framework to really look at the gained information in a certain way. A RP way. Blew my mind.
I would suggest people try it. Don't see it as the only way of dating women. Don't see it as the only option to get laid. Just see it as an experiment. Experiments end at some point.

Now... after a year I am done. I feel like I am ready to go out into the world and do it the old fashioned way. So this experiment is coming to a full stop in a few weeks. Actually finishing up some last 'dates', while transioning into a more outgoing lifestyle, which TRP I have to be thankful for.

Online dating is fun. A different way. Not THE way, but sure as hell a fun experiment.

redpillbanana · 2015-03-08T06:11:04+00:00

One way to look at the internet is as an amplifier.

Internet dating amplifies many things - it amplifies the effect of beta orbiters (a woman can now have literally millions of orbiters), it amplifies attention whoring (popular women on dating sites will have thousands of messages), and it amplifies competition (instead of competing with the hottest guy in the room, you're competing with the hottest guy in the city).

However it amplifies good things as well, e.g. you'll probably never have the city-wide exposure to women that you do on a dating site. The number of women you can meet IRL is orders of magnitude lower than the number you can meet online. And the more women you meet, the higher chance that you'll find a women that is (1) hot and (2) really into your particular look. For an extreme example of how much reach you can have, I've even met women in other cities that travel to meet me every week or two.

Another way to look at it: you can sell books at an individual shop and do pretty well, but you'll never reach the scope of Amazon. The flipside is that the competition is amplified (e.g. try to name even 5 competitors to Amazon), so you have to be much more cutthroat to survive..

The good news is that, given the state of most Westerners (and especially the US where 70% of people are fat, and 10-15% are probably skinnyfat), it's not hard to get into the top 10-20% of men if you work on yourself a bit.

Note: for older men looking to date younger women, dating sites are a goldmine. Many young women are into older men but may be embarrassed to show it IRL especially around their friends. If they meet you online, you can basically become their secret lover.

[deleted] · 2015-03-08T16:31:30+00:00

I got out of online dating for many reasons. The biggest reason is that when I started, I was really fat so my chances of getting a reply from anyone, including fat girls, is around a .01%. I've lost a lot of weight since then but there's still a lot of work to do to undo 20+ years of bad nutrition/sedentary lifestyle.

Even fat girls think they can pull top 10-20% with online dating as long as they angle the cameras just right and talk about their "personality"

Personality is the second reason I quit. If you go on OKC, you will read the same profile at least 30 times. Same movies, same music, same stupid white girl humor. Count how many times you see mention of sarcasm, bubbly, feminist, Mumford and Sons, or Dr Who if you go on OKC again. Could just be my city but my god. My favorite was "I don't like talking about myself/I don't like filling these out" followed by about 18 long, boring fucking paragraphs about shit that doesn't the fuck matter.

Third reason, women assume the stupidest fucking things with online dating. I understand women better than I used to, but some of this shit is so fucking asinine. If you don't take pictures where you're out on the town with friends, they assume you have no friends. If you do take pictures of you out with friends, they get pissy because they don't know which one you are even if you point it out.

Girls can't be assed to read all of that bullshit you fill out when setting it up, or looking at question answers so you're just wasting your time with that, but then they'll shit a brick if you don't fill out your profile.

And then getting them to meet up with you is a whole thing. Even being as direct as I am, I got more "I need to know you more" than I got dates. Which is funny, considering I have a big ass profile with hundreds of questions answered for you to read and get to know the basics that you couldn't bother to read because I didn't have enough pictures of me in a suit on a beach with 30 of my friends to prove I'm not a psychopath who is dead set on raping you and burying you in my backyard because that's what your faggot fucking feminist gender studies teacher taught you all men are going to do.

TL;DR Less Bitter version - talking to girls in person is way easier. However, if it weren't for online dating and me getting fed the fuck up with it, I wouldn't have started cold approaching women in public.

It's amazing how many (in retrospect) ugly fat cunts ignored me compared to how many 7s and 8s are happy to talk to me in person.

PlusGoody · 2015-03-08T01:59:41+00:00

Just plain wrong.

IF you are decent-looking and successful and IF you are in a place where good looking women go (New York, Miami, LA, Atlanta, Dallas) rather than place good looking women flee (Seattle, Toronto, DC, Chicago, plus every sub-1mm metro area in the country) you KILL in online dating.

Do betas use online dating to beta the f*ck out of themselves? Do mediocre women use it to hamster their deluded self-opinion? Sure -- but what hair is it off your chest if they do -- especially given that they do it everywhere and anywhere, anyway.

Kill_Your_Ego · 2015-03-08T03:36:46+00:00

I stopped using online dating completely around 9 months ago. The women I was getting from day game was of such an incredible level of higher quality. Doing day game was more fun then online game as well. I guess if I just want dates with women 28+ I could spam online dating and then wait for a fresher crop and that would be easy but then I have to go on dates and try to kiss every girl within the first fifteen minutes.

With day game I had better filtering because all I really care about is a HB and there are shitloads of young girls serving coffee and selling clothes and shit.

Ugh and Tinder. I don't know who these tinder guys are but my tinder experience was that I got 4's and 5's, okcupid I got 6's and 7's, and day game I'd get 6's and 7's mostly as well. Only they were like 20 or 21. Oldest was 25. Oldest online was 39. Youngest day game was 19. Youngest online was 26.

I mean I can poach them younger during the day. But then I look young, I'm super fit, and I've spent most of my life taking care of my looks.

All women are sluts though. Day or night, online or not, they are AWALT.

EDIT -

I want to make this clear. In the last 18 months it's been day game for 19 years old to 25 years old. And online game has gotten me 26 years old to 39 years old. A total of sex with 13 women. The day game plates spin FAR longer as well.

So if this is what you want to do, to fuck hot young girls, then in my experience day game is better.

I have never done night game. I have no idea who those guys are fucking.

R4F1 · 2015-03-08T05:48:58+00:00

Dating sites (just like empty catcalls/compliments) act as an inflationary effect on women. The stroking of their ego from the endless amount of male attention, leads her already-solipsistic mind to think her SMV is worth much more than it already is. That is also why dating sites are filled with fat, ugly, feminists who are looking for topnotch Alphas and Beta Buxes. Instead of making up for the obesity/ugliness with better personality or skills (or losing weight) which men find desirable, they simply go on to the next guy thats begging to stick their stick in her.

You can't fault a guy for using a dating-site to get laid, or an idiot from thinking he can find his wife on one, but at the least TRP'ers should be aware of what the cause-and-effect is. Furthermore, people who are into catcalling (i.e., low-SMV men giving away compliments like its fucking nothing) should be shunned from the male community. Catcalls and cuckolding, that's the shit I don't like.

ITravelin_Man · 2015-03-08T16:45:50+00:00

I'm with you bro. The best is when your physically out there. Girls get wet by a good dancer, dresser, bull rider, lumberjack or by a man that is smiling and having a good time. But you can find lower level lazy ass PLATES online.

captvic · 2015-03-08T12:46:32+00:00

I kind of agree.

If your SMV is low, don't even bother with online dating. All your doing is furthering hypergamy.

If your SMV is high, online dating can get you access to a lot of women around your area. Yeah women are fishing for validation on those sites from betas , but they're also trying to find out where they stand in attractiveness and what type of guys they can get. If you're that(high smv), shit ... Why not have fun using online dating?

PlanB_pedofile · 2015-03-08T19:50:03+00:00

My ex proved that online dating is for alpha hookups and free drinks and meals.

She joined okstupid. She's a solid 6 at 32 with 2 kids. About 10 messages a day, she filtered on looks and income.

She stopped packing food because she was fed almost weekly.

A date goes like this, they set something up, guy takes her out and spends $80 in meal and drinks, she says she had a nice time and ttyl. There's Saturday's where she would meet one dude for lunch and another dude at a club that night. Like reality tv, she goes on some extravagant dates. One man who was 36 and retired took her flying in his private plane. That was impressive and was a panty dropper but he knew his smv and blew her off after fucking.

Her criteria was "a nice house" which depending on the date would end up staying the night there. After about 12 or so hookups she failed to secure a man. She even commented with "he's nice, i just think i could do better". Well after feeling like a used rag her stats were 40 dates, 12 of them fucks, 0 committed. She gave up on okcupid and and eventually found her beta guy who will probably ring her. Though she hasn't told him that this will be her third marriage and her 13th partner. (Lied and said it will be marriage number to and he's her 4th)

Now from a man's view. Average requirements is have high smv in both looks and wealth. You need to loom financially stable to support a stay at home mom and 2 kids amd be able to have enough house for vacations. Average date is 40 to 80 bucks and that doesn't gauruntee sex. She has an empty fridge because you are buying her meals for the week.

HumanSockPuppet · 2015-03-08T06:48:32+00:00

The greatest argument for abandoning dating sites altogether is this:

Any chump can send a message to a chick online. There's no risk of humiliation, no potential boyfriend to contend with, no need be conscious of body language or sub-verbal cues. It takes no courage and no effort, so every guy does it.

But few men will dare interrupt a woman in person while she's going about her business.

And fewer still will have the right body language, the right attitude, and the right swagger when they walk up and interrupt her. That's you - the man who has taken the Red Pill.

Abandon online dating and approach women in the real world because that's where the odds are in your favour.

jimm81 · 2015-03-08T04:28:00+00:00

online dating is pretty useful for guys who dont fit the typical "alpha" image sluts are looking for. i started using it in 2002, and i got 9 different girls, all of them 7 or above, using simple numbers game. my success rate is incredibly low, 9 girls in 13 years. in these 13 years, i must have sent out 45-50K messages. but thats still 9 more than i would have gotten otherwise.

nzgs · 2015-03-08T09:47:01+00:00

Online dating is brilliant, it just isn't for ugly/average men. If you need to send messages to women then it isn't for you, stick to the real world. You need to be physically attractive, it doesn't matter how financially secure you are, or how much you spent on your designer suit, you must be very attractive and built for your age group and have a profile that drips with abundance mentality and fun. You have to be the "thrill" that every woman fantasises about. The Tom Leykis types of red pill men will not do well on online dating for the most part.

[deleted] · 2015-03-08T13:11:21+00:00

even if you win, you're still a retard

GorillaMan32 · 2015-03-09T00:09:37+00:00

I 100% agree with this post. I can say from personal experience that getting out of the internet dating scene has improved my game and take home quality. I went from averaging 5s-7s with online to 7s and above face to face.

HS-Thompson · 2015-03-08T02:23:19+00:00

So according to you the several dozen thin hot women 5-15 years younger than me that I have managed to reel in and fuck with minimal spare time effort playing with Tinder don't count.

If ya say so.

I live in New York City. Online dating here is basically like an e-commerce for pussy app. This post makes no sense.

cock_pussy_up · 2015-03-08T13:00:40+00:00

Internet dating has lots of unattractive women fishing for men who are way out of their league.

I think of it like this: if I saw this woman on the street, would I bother to turn my head to look at her? If the answer is "no", then why would I waste time messaging her online?

Online men are begging for attention from women who fall into the "desperation" or "last resort" sex category.

_TheEndGame · 2015-03-08T16:44:44+00:00

LOL cameljockey from the misc

[deleted] · 2015-03-08T17:14:23+00:00

Shitty people will ALWAYS find an outlet to become "shittier" and feed their ego. If it's not online dating, then it's one of those video cassette dating services from the 80's.

ScumbagBillionaire · 2015-03-08T05:32:23+00:00

Online dating is like shopping for recycled garbage.

Plain and simple.

Great for pump and dump if you can get attractive girls. Horrible for real relationships or long term dating.

Have at it boys.

[deleted] · 2015-03-08T12:15:25+00:00

I agree with your points. I just started online dating, objectively I would say I have my shit together. Above average looks, but not amazing, good body with reasonable muscle mass at 10% bodyfat, good lifestyle, plus I am in the the top 1% of earners.

Looking at me physically, I probably barely squeeze in to the top 20%. Lifestyle wise, status wise, I am in the top 5% for sure. Online I will message women from 5-9, I get a steady stream of women from 5-7 replying to me and most of them will flake at some point no matter how smooth you are, but alas I can setup dates and get laid.

If you actively show of your wealth/status, you will get nothing but boyfriend hunters/gold diggers who have rode the CC and wan't some beta bux for a hassle free life. If you go the alpha route, you need to be in the top 5% of looks otherwise it won't work online. Doesn't matter how good your game is, if you are not in the top 20% of men looks wise you are invisible.

Personally, I am fine with the rejection because I know these women are bombarded with compliments 24/7, but at the same time, i've basically come to the conclusion, most of the women that want me online, I am massively out of their league. If I want to pull 8-10's, I will have to do it in real life, or get lucky once in a while online.

I would say only do online if you have an incredibly thick skin, plus its immediately obvious that you are superior to 90% of men out there. Even then you will still have to deal with the timewasters who just want text buddies.

TekkomanKingz · 2015-03-08T03:24:59+00:00

To which I say that is like winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard.

Politically incorrect but nonetheless absolutely true. Anyone who denies this is a jack ass.

Or how much game you have trolling the local soccer field, looking to pick up desperate single mothers, looking for a Beta Bux to support little Chad Thundercock Jr. Remember, you are who you associate with, and the kind of company of men on online dating sites are definitely not the kind of men I want to identify myself with.

THIS!!!!!!!!

Dev_on · 2015-03-08T05:46:26+00:00

I'm going to echo a lot of the comments here and say that online dating is perfectly fine, when used correctly.

I actually agree that your first point is definitely a risk. If a girl looks 8+ online, I'll agree to head out and grab a drink and do something "date-esque" and do the whole DHV-isolate-kino cycle of the course of the next hour or so. If she fronts up and shes less than an 8, I'm going to finish my drink and try to fuck close there and then. If shes not down, I bounce because...

Anyone who looks like a 6-7 online I am going to be going directly for a fuck meetup - either come to mine (panty dropping view and building concierge makes this a lot easier) or if shes close by Ill go to hers and completely ignore any attempts to lock down the BB.

If you're being charming to 6s and 7s online, you're doing it wrong.

I dont agree with your second point, I don't associate with dudes on a dating site, thats like saying you go gaming at a club and suddenly you're the average of every dude in there?

LastRevision · 2015-03-08T06:09:09+00:00

Serious pro-tip: POF > OKC, by a lot.

disposable_pants · 2015-03-08T09:27:28+00:00

It makes shitty women shittier.

It does, but the market for it isn't going anywhere. Being angry at the reality of this is being angry at the rain.

It means you are associating with beta schlub losers.

How, exactly? I'm not hanging out with them. I didn't rent them shoes. I'm not buying them a fucking beer. I associate with the men on those sites as much as I associate with other men who go to CVS -- hell, even less.

You're also assuming that it's impossible to both use online dating and approach women in real life, too. Pretty easy to get the benefits of both.

C00l_Guy · 2015-03-08T22:26:20+00:00

CamelJockey

Ha ha this guy is still around.

magus678 · 2015-03-09T05:05:05+00:00

While I think there are some good points here, at the end of the day Facebook and the like fill these niches for women almost as well as dating sites.

Personally, I have fucking slayed in online dating. I don't know if maybe I'm better looking than I thought, or if my game is tighter than others, but it has been great for me.

I almost never get flakes, and I can count on one hand the number of dates I have gone on that were one offs that didn't lead to sex.

Most of the time though, I don't even go on the date. It is just a bang match.

MartyMcFly92 · 2015-03-08T02:46:41+00:00

Yeah, I never slept with any fatties from POF. Its not exactly difficult to pull off. These are all college girls just trying to get boned. It's not fuckin rocket science man.

Philhelm · 2015-03-08T05:08:37+00:00

I would imagine that online dating does make women shittier, flakier, and more narcissistic, but men should use whatever tools they have in order to get their knobs gobbled.

WakingUpAlice · 2015-03-08T23:32:30+00:00

Remember folks, if a women has only ever known shitty sex her expetations of what you'll be allowed to do to her in bed will be much, much lower, esp if she is convinced she's had a lot of sex and experince even if it was terrible. Case in point, I flipped this one girls ass around to fuck her doggy style and she complained it doesn't work like that. Men, we shouldn't let our selves be trapped by low standards like that. Dating sights are just enablers of this. They let attention seeking women find white knight betas to be used with inpunity and thus be thought of as the norm. It actually is flipping the perception of the Alpha Male. Dating sites are for people(men and women) who haven't made it in the dating world and your SMV won't even be placed into consideration because it allows for people to be picky, not just choosy. You wouldn't say I'm seeking a Christian only in real life. Just look at all the angry betas arguing with OP about this. Grow up gents, stop arguing with OP and improve yourself.

Luckyluke23 · 2015-03-08T09:12:36+00:00

who the fuck uses tinder anymore? aparently it was good the first 6 months after it went mainstream it was dead!

cesspool of shit!

Locastor · 2015-03-08T11:24:53+00:00

This OP is wrongheaded.

1) The genie is out of the bottle. Even if all 100,857 subscribers to the Pill deleted every OKC, PoF, Tinder, AFF and Ashley Madison account they had tomorrow, there are plenty of thirsty betas, by orders of magnitude more, to pick up the slack and keep mainlining validation into the brains of hamsters.

2) Online is a perfectly valid avenue, so long as it is not your only avenue. I attempt at least 5 cold approaches a day in horrendous venues like the avenue and crowded trains, and I still swipe for 5 minutes a day on Tinder, which has rewarded me with multiple very enjoyable, strings-free sexual encounters.

BlaiseDB · 2015-03-08T02:58:02+00:00

I post there as 66Scorpio. I am an online dating apologist.

5pecial · 2015-03-08T06:55:13+00:00

I've gotten 100% of the dates in my life from online dating sites and tinder. I hear getting dates in real life is easier, but being 5'5" makes me not want to approach anyone because I know how big of a turn off it is for most women...

[deleted] · 2015-03-08T15:52:06+00:00

Special Olympics is for people with physical limitations, not intellectual...

Title	Want Better Women? Stop Feeding The Beast of Online Dating [RoK]
Author	JP_Whoregan
Upvotes	89
Comments	145
Date	March 8, 2015 1:40 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2yap1x/want_better_women_stop_feeding_the_beast_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/want-better-women-stop-feeding-the-beast-of-online.29967 https://theredarchive.com/post/29967