I think my boyfriend is being radicalized

cagedtiger999 · 2019-01-17T07:59:30+00:00

I'm sorry. Show him the ex redpill comments. We have been there and worked through it.

Shadows-of-Hiroshima · 2019-01-17T08:20:02+00:00

Have a conversation with him about how you've noticed his behaviour changing lately, and explore what may be causing that. Identify specific behaviours or incidents, and communicate to him how those actions or words make you feel. When engaging with him, it's also important to use language of ownership, like I-statements:

"When I hear you [give specific behaviour], I feel/think [xyz] because [abc]."

You can mention or inquire about the kind of stuff he's viewing/learning from the Red Pill, the uncomfortable questions he asks, what he means about the whole 'alpha/beta' thing, his unacceptable and controlling behaviour, etc -- and then clearly communicating how these things have an effect on you.

It's also important to clearly communicate expectations going forward. This could be in the form of reinforcing expectations on boundaries, values, what-have-you. "I really value x in people. When I hear you make statements like "xyz," I don't see you being x. I want you to [clearly establish your expectations]"

If there is no resolve or change in his behaviour, especially his abusive, controlling behaviour, or if he's resistant to productive, good faith conversation, then these are grounds for a breakup.

Another good sub you can ask this question to is /r/MensLib (Men's Liberation).

_Ulan_ · 2019-01-17T10:27:33+00:00

Tell him you will support him to become a strong man, however he'll cause many irreversible damage to your relationship if he is being a dick on purpose.

Tell him you date him because you feel safe with him, not because you wanted to fuck mr. Universe.

Don't try to to distance him from his masculinity, that has the opposite effect.

Don't let him treat you like shit for any reason, else he'll do it again.

LFTDPrince · 2019-01-17T17:55:27+00:00

You can try talking to him. Having him see the hypocritical nature of TRP views.. but like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he drank too much of the Kool Aid, boy could be a lost cause.

treadbolt5 · 2019-01-17T19:10:25+00:00

maybe a break wouldn’t be a bad idea. that way, he can reevaluate his beliefs and decide what is more important, you or this new found cult.

jonmatifa · 2019-01-17T20:03:09+00:00

Educate him on how you see dominance as different from confidence. A lot of men seem to be swayed by the red pill because they're looking for models of "confidence" they can internalize and emulate but come up short for one reason or another, so the red pill offers answers where they otherwise couldn't find any, but the red pill offers dominance in lieu of confidence.

Dominance values are based on one's relative position compared to others, its externally focused and driven. Confidence is about one's own internal security, one's relationship to self and the values they've internalized. Dominance values are much more concrete and apparent, however plenty of men abandon the redpill once they discover the basis of their own internal values and confidence, no longer needing those provided by the redpill.

I think in order to defeat the redpill mentality, its necessary to understand how that mentality is fulfilling certain needs and provide alternatives on how to meet them.

classicrando · 2019-01-17T07:24:24+00:00

Breakup with him.

Yesm3can · 2019-01-19T09:07:54+00:00

I would have broken up with him, because I like to have easy life and quite lazy with the whole "Imma try to make you see things differently..." stuffs IRL. Yes, even with friends.

Maybe show him articles about that chubby boy Robert Fisher or something. The guy that made Reddit RP. When he got found out, instead defending his view like what a real man supposed to be, he hid behind his mother and sisters' skirt. Doing the "I have black friend" defense.

Real personality always comes out in times of emergency or distress no matter what. Looking at self improvement subreddits and articles will be better than him rather than a play-pretend subreddit one.

Rhyat250 · 2019-01-20T10:38:38+00:00

Tell him to be Open minded. tha the stuff Redpill says its only 2/5 of the truth and tell him to see it from a open mind head stuff the Redpill says also has its flaws and lies

AWintersNight · 2019-01-21T16:49:26+00:00

I think the thing to consider is what is driving his mentality into the red pill view of 'alphas' and 'betas'. Most people do not fall into these views for no reason. It appeals to fears or insecurities, either by offering to shield you (learn game - how to show natural confidence - what you can do to fight the femisarion of society) or by validation (see? The women are the ones with the problem! They are all like this inside) and it will be hard if not impossible to work around this mindset - or stop him falling into something equally self deluding and destructive - if you do not know what brought him to it. You will probably have the best insight i to any insecurities or unspoken assumptions he has that may have made the redpill mindset appeal to him. I can only advise you do not try to confront but to understand. The community thrives on images of warriors and rebels and assaults. You see so much talk of these things being both used against them and perpetrated by them. Never forget but a little empathy goes a long way. This is all assuming his problems are worth the time it might take you to help and how much you would be willing to put up. Be sure to look out for what is best for you.

CryptoNShit · 2019-01-23T02:34:19+00:00

He's dumb for using words like alpha and beta in everyday life. He found something that has some truth to it but isn't as black or white as he currently thinks it is. He might grow out of this, just tell him to really think things through.

reluctantly_red · 2019-02-17T15:34:06+00:00

You have a bigger problem. If he's using RP terminology in casual conversation he's not that bright.

FlightsNotFeelings · 2019-04-02T14:02:58+00:00

Dump him, and let him know it was becasue of this crap, then go find an emotionally stable partner who actually makes you happy.

Title	I think my boyfriend is being radicalized
Author	leggomyeggobitchh
Upvotes	85
Comments	43
Date	January 17, 2019 7:13 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/agv90k/i_think_my_boyfriend_is_being_radicalized/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-think-my-boyfriend-is-being-radicalized.299896 https://theredarchive.com/post/299896