Many people in this sub praise parts of TRP for their validity. The self-improvement aspect is warranted, getting in shape, taking care of yourself, how you look, working harder for a better career etc.

These are all objectively great goals.

The problem lies in what you value. Your values drive your goals. So the problem with TRP isn't that their goals are all bad, it's that they're placing value in the wrong stuff.

In the book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" the author Mark Manson describes a good healthy value as being something that is internal, based in reality, and positively effects others. A bad or unhealthy value is something that is external, not based in reality, and/or negatively effects others.

Here is a common value from TRP:

  • My worth is related to women finding me attractive.

There's no way around this. They'll try to convince you that they're "men going their own way" that they "command the relationship now" and that if a girl gives them attitude they move on like she's nothing. However, TRP at its core appeals to men who lack confidence in some aspect and have girl problems.

Also, these aren't unique problems. Every human has some insecurity or trauma which effects their confidence and if you're dating a girl you're going to encounter a big enough problem at some point during your relationship.

This value is external, as in, it's motivated and completely dependent on external forces. If a girl doesn't want to fuck or talk to you suddenly you are staring back at yourself, empty and with no answers.

It's not based in reality. When is it enough validation? If I don't get the girl does this mean I'm not lifting enough? Does this mean I need a better haircut? If I sleep with 200 women do I actually feel like my values are being fulfilled or do I feel empty and continue trying to pull more women?

It negatively effects others. Assuming you're wrapping it up and we don't need to discuss STD's and pregnancy risks, fucking women at any kind of scale with no regard to ever commit to a relationship will ultimately leave someone hurt by the end of it all. This requires complete up front honesty about your desire to remain FWB and even then it's complicated. At best you need to be a bit heartless to live this lifestyle.

So what does a healthy, realistic value look like? In regards to self-improvement or relationships we could see:

  • Share meaningful relationships with people I care about

  • Express myself authentically

The goals that align with these include:

  1. Improve my social circle.
  2. Open up to people I can count on and be there for them when they need me.
  3. Do something nice for someone I care about.
  4. Enjoy a hobby (painting, running, writing) and get better at it.
  5. Get in better shape and be healthier.

Most importantly I think that your value and goals need to allow for introspection and accountability. If you're purely focused on a "what can I get out of this" mentality you rarely look inwards for answers and you almost never take responsibility for any wrong doing. Without this last bit, actual personal growth is impossible.