The RPW is not exactly who you think she is. I imagine that there is a painted stereotype of the RPW as a spineless weak woman who has zero depth or interests beyond placating the needs of her red-pilled husband but I promise you she is more complicated than that.
Many of the ladies at RPW are quite intelligent, competent, & socially aware. They left marriages or relationships that clearly weren’t working for them (boyfriend dragging feet & refused to think about marriage, girls who wanted out of hook-up culture they didn't feel benefitted them, women who wanted to dump a man who was using her, etc)… They simply wanted a healthier alternative to chasing orgasms or hooking up with strangers and the red-pill seemed to offer that. And it certainly DOES to an extent, but it always takes things a little bit farther and makes them worse for the RPW unless she’s capable of fighting for herself.
I was 21 when I graduated university and started a STEM PhD program. For various normal reasons, I decided to leave my graduate program and instead pursue jobs in industry. Being new to the ‘real world,’ however, was a bit frightening. I was ready to give up my job search after I had been contacted by two recruiters & eventually turned down for the positions. TWO! That’s how naive I was! I didn’t realize that there people who, though they are now making $300K/year, had to apply to 10-15 jobs A DAY in their early 20s before they could get anywhere. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I wasn’t good enough for the real world. I was at a cross-roads and didn’t know what to do with my life or how it would pan out.
I knew for sure I’d want a family in the future, but I also wanted to think sensibly and have a stable income. How could I reconcile the two? I needed advice & guidance but I was largely isolated in a new city at a new school. So I started reading TRP and all its affiliated writers. I disagreed with so much but those men seemed SO confident in the way they talked about their financial endeavors, their investments, their travels, and about women, so they had to be right, right? (WRONG).
So I started going to dance classes as a hobby and then started meeting people through online dating just to get myself out there. I knew that most guys my age weren't thinking long term about their future lives/marriages, so I knew I’d generally have better luck with an older guy.
The guy I started seeing was ~15 years my senior. He never mentioned TRP by name but he fit the description. Tall, worked out, helicopter pilot, just bought a home, etc. We spent hours on the phone before our first date and each of our dates went so well. Then his real side started to come out. He knew I was at a vulnerable place in life and tried to exploit it. He’d scream at me, corner me, insult my weight (I’m a size 4), intentionally compliment other women’s IG in front of me to bother me, etc. He was just overall hyper-aggressive and an asshole all the time. It was sucking the life out of me. He would try to toy with me mentally & try to put me under his foot. It never worked, but it only made him madder and more aggressive. Whenever his mind games didn't work, he’d resort to cornering me to scream at me.
So I posted to RPW asking for advice on dealing with this guy who was ‘too alpha’ (back then I didn’t think of the word abusive). Some of the women sympathized with me and said he was no good/to leave. Others told me they were JEALOUS of my motorcycle-riding helicopter pilot and that if I don’t want him, they’ll be happy to have a guy like him. It was a total mindfuck. In fact, a lot of the users (and mods) on RPW are actually MALE RPers who would immediately BAN women who expressed sentiments other than that of a doormat or a prostitute. Many of us left the sub.
If I didn't have the mental strength and confidence to trust my own perceptions, I would still be in that abusive relationship. It has been ~7 months since I left him & he has tried to get a hold of me but I’ve easily ignored him. I’ve had girlfriends who are now on tinder show me that he is using the site with a FAKE identity. He is a pathological narcissist with a criminal record (I later found out) and he was never a “captain” but TRP convinced me that the reality of letting him go was worse than keeping him.
A central tenet of TRP philosophy is that men are just generally better at being people than women are. This simply is not true. Women are rational. We’re functional. We’re allowed to earn our place in society & we shouldn’t be shamed for wanting happiness outside a man. I know some of the guys who run TRP twitter accounts PERSONALLY. They are not who they say they are. They embellish their ‘alphaness’ and they lie about their sexual conquests. They are weak men who can’t seem to function in society properly so they release their pent-up anger toward women online. It’s nothing but a performance for the online manodorks following their page. Many of the ladies at RPW knew this quite well but I’ve too often seen smart women at RPW get banned. The forum is too heavily insulated by male red-pillers to allow for real discussion.
Please give the next RPW you meet a chance. She likely isn’t as extreme as you might think she is. She just wants a little bit of guidance but instead stumbled upon a blackhole. Let’s hope she can get out.
EDIT: Since the breakup, I took a two-month mental health-cation to stay with my family overseas. In that time I did a lot of reading about narcissistic abuse, emotional manipulation, etc. I’ve made tremendous progress since & I’m happy to share the helpful resources I’ve read with anyone who PMs me for them. :)
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