This is my first time telling my story, I never liked the idea of talking about myself, so sorry if you guys are tired of these kinds of posts.
My mom was a teen mom. She didnt let my dad see me. She would call me a mistake, beat me, and was just a mean person overall. She always valued her new boyfriend over me.

I had alot of anger issues as a kid so my grandparents sent me to my dad when in grade 4.
My dad turned out to be worst. I was told I was a bad person since I had my mom's blood in me. My step mom always accused me of never loving her and wanting to see my birthmom. They would always treat my half sister better than me and always compared me to her. She was always smarter and more out going. They made fun of the way i ate, how I was never invited to birthday parties, and how I sucked at sports. I tried my best in school but could never manage straight A's like my sister. This usually resulted in my being beaten and yelled at. I still had anger issues so I got suspended alot. This made the beatings even worse. Honestly though I was a shit head as a kid so I can see their frustration.

As I got into highschool I got a part time job. My Dad always took my paycheck since they were financially struggling. Despite this claim they always bought new cell phones or clothes for themselves. This made me really resentful and I didnt try to hide it. This resulted in me getting the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis. When I turned 18 I went back to my grandparents and never looked back.
To this day I'm very hateful and untrustful of people, especially women. But this hate is consuming me. How can I let go of the redpill? Everytime I try to reject mgtow beliefs I think back and remember how evil people can be. I just want to be happy.