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[–]Rainai7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It makes me wonder how were you raised if you at some point in your life managed to somehow convinced yourself that women who love their SOs and faithful to them are so rare that they are unicorns. Like wtf man?
That is the norm in my life. The women and men are faithful to each other. Are you living in real life Ashley Madison town or something?
Billions of men and women are staying in a relationship where not only they love their partners just as the way they are but also are still together after tragedies such as incurable diseases, death of loved ones, losing job and poverty, after they lost their good looks be it through age or through accidents, during and after bad addictions...etc.
How can you tell yourself that such women are not only so rare but also do not exist at all? It will be like me trying to convince myself that elephants are blue.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I was raised horribly and I think I have a chemical imbalence (was depressed since 9) my depression goes against me and can convince me of negative things, such as "I will never find a woman that loves me"
Don't think I'm one of those guys who are depressed and lay in bed all day.....I'm not.
Anyways, the Redpill also made think that way too. They even said a woman wouldn't stay with a man who has a disease.
But I doubt I'll find a woman that fucking loves me.
[–]Rainai5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then I really don't know what to say man. Because you do actually know that these women exist. If you read a bit of my post history, you'd read how often I shared about how much I love and admire my BF. He is severely physically disabled but leading a very happy life. He has never, not once, been cheated on by his ex-GFs. Many will say that he is just lucky, but I'd say it is really his personality.
He is very comfortable in his own skin. His happiness level are also mainly the same. Whether he has a GF or being single. He never put a burden of making him happy on his partner.
I wish you the best with any path you are going to take. Just be careful not to end up like many western expats in my country. They are living and breathing the stereotypes of old white men in south east asia. It is not pretty.
[–]derpeyduck7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Married lady here. I've loved my husband for 6 years.
The love has changed. You know young love: passionate, intense. Over the years, and through our experiences together, that love is warmer, more comfortable. We're not overcome with emotion all the time, that's not normal. But what is always there is regard for one another.
Now, women are individuals, and human. I used to see men the way RP sees women: as these selfish robots without empathy or self-control. Getting to know several of them changed my view.
Anyway, the short answer is yes, faithful women exist. Now, like men, women are humans. My hypothesis is that everyone is capable of cheating, but have different thresholds.
That said, in 6 years with my husband, I would be lying if I said I never felt tempted. I notice men sometime, Have little crushes, you know. It's a fun fantasy. But I have never cheated.
Here's the thing: they're just fantasy, and I know that. I have never cheated, and it's not because I've never felt attracted to another man.
Empathy is what keeps me from cheating. Well, one thing. I know my husband would be very hurt, feel betrayed, and I am not doing that to him. I am not going to hurt him. We have built such a great relationship based on openness and trust.
Well, one may ask, what if I could do it and not be caught? I much prefer my marriage without secrets. I value his trust. I know how it is to be betrayed, and like you've found out, it fucking ruins a person.
Long winded response, apologies for that. I wish I could tell you that there was some kind of vaccine against betrayal but there isn't because humans fuck up. It will take some time, but things that will help you with women is to see them as human, individuals just like you. Second will be to admit when you feel vulnerable, fearful etc. When the men in my life opened up to me about their fears instead of acting petty, we (surprise!) had a functional relationship. Also, be watchful for signs of empathy. Does this girl you're interested in show regard for others? Does she consider how her actions might affect another, and act accordingly? That is also a good sign.
Trust takes time. You'll heal from your ex, but I think a big part of healing is giving women a chance to be decent. I wish you well, friend.
[–]RedMedi1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Vulnerability is the key ingredient. If someone breaks another's heart they will heal with time.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I healed from her fast. I got over her. My only issues is, I want a woman that I can love and trust. I don't want it to be my ex..... She'll never be that woman.
But yeah that's all.
[–]derpeyduck0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They're out there
[–] points points points 54 years ago | Copy Link
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[–]gleaming-the-cubicle7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A lot of TRP guys seem to think that a romantic partner would/could/should love you like a mother.
Never say "thank you"? Forget her birthday? Don't take her feelings into account? Take her for granted? Never complement her? Mom will still love you, but any smart woman would leave.
[–]raziphel1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And if you start with the RP emotional abuse (because that's what it is), then of course they'll fucking leave.
[–]RedPillDetox2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, women can love. No, women won't cheat on you as soon as they find someone better. If that happens either she was deeply unsatisfied in the relationship or she was just a piece of shit (in which case you're better off her) or some combination of both.
Any sort of reasoning that leads to the conclusion that women will cheat on you whenever is stupid and easly refuted and anyone who thinks that is completly out of touch with reality. Not to say that there aren't many women out there who do that: There are. But there are probably many more who don't.
Women can surely love you for your looks, status, kidness, love, caring dispostion, the things you have in common, your tastes, etc. They won't cheat on you just because there are better people out there. Loving unconditionally, however, is different. While most people may love you because of your qualities, they may also feel tempted to leave you if you cease to have those qualities. People who love unconditionally don't. These people are rarer and it requires great maturity and compassion to love unconditionally. Most people don't love unconditionally, but that doesn't they can't love you for your qualities.
Regardless, the way red pill puts it is completly exgerated. People can love you for your qualities. The only thing i would agree with is that people who love unconditionally are the exceptions, but that doesn't mean that everybody else will cheat on you just because they don't love you unconditionally. It means they may eventually leave you if you cease to have the qualities that drawn them towards you in the first place. Same doesn't happen with people who love unconditionally.
[–]WhosCountin0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If that happens either she was deeply unsatisfied in the relationship or she was just a piece of shit (in which case you're better off her) or some combination of both.
To be fair, she's a piece of shit regardless. Being deeply unsatisfied is never an excuse to cheat because there is no excuse to cheat.
[–]RedPillDetox1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, could have just broke up.
Still, not as much of a piece of shit as someone who cheats simply out of caprice and failing to keep it in the pants, imo
[–]raziphel0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Almost all women are capable and willing of love, both for who you are and how you make them feel (those things are not separable for normal folks). The ones who will love you personally are far less frequent, but that's life. They aren't in any way unicorns.
I would seriously suggest therapy for anyone who thinks otherwise. You need therapy, and possibly medication. No shame in either of those.
[–]bashar_speaks0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Dating some chick for a few months and becoming overly attached because you're lonely and suffer from depression isn't love.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm not attached fucking relax. I never said I love her, I don't. But I WANT a woman that I can love and have a healthy relationship. Unfortunately Ill never find that type of crap.
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[–]Rainai7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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