How do I stop feeling that I am controlled and manipulated by women?

BigAngryDinosaur · 2016-10-06T21:27:32+00:00

You have developed an entirely unhealthy fixation about sex and gender.

Believe it or not, a vast majority of people don't pay much attention to these issues during their average day even if they have poor or wrong opinions about the subject. The fact that various images or ideas can set you off in these feelings of powerlessness or being out of control speaks to a much deeper and larger issue than women.

Look, women are great. People are great. Women are like people you can be friends with and have intimate relations with. Not everyone encounters issues of control or power, and often relate to other people all day long, form healthy relationships and can often succeed and having deeper and meaningful relationships with powerful positive emotions involved. Your feelings of resentment to a perceived power-dynamic show that you really, really need to back way from even considering pursuing a relationship for a good, long time,. You have some damage and need to heal first.

For most of us, we don't see social messages, we don't live in an oppressed world, we just think about important things that matter to our lives, to our goals and to our loved ones.

If you're spinning in this cycle of emotional self-abuse (which is what it is) you really, really need to change your thought patterns. I know it's a standard response, but this is exactly the kind of thing a therapist can tailor a custom plan of action for. They are trained and specialize in helping people who logically know that what they think or feel is problematic, but cannot change on their own.

At the very least, be aware that Reddit and the internet and most of these gender-related subs are far more likely to give you a bad direction and bad advice than if you were to just shut off your computer and start practicing better ways of thought, putting yourself on a mental diet and becoming aware of your negative thought chains. You don't need any "pill" ideals to change, you just need to want to change, and you need to start caring for yourself without relating your experience of the world to any other people, male or female.

RedMedi · 2016-10-06T11:01:50+00:00

I have come to the conclusion that my bitterness comes from the feeling that women have an overbearing control over me.

You have a really bad sense of entitlement. Women are people not wish-fulfillment machines or sex toys.

As much as I hate MGTOWs, they have a small point when it comes to living for oneself.

You can't guarantee that anyone will ever love you or want to have sex with you. Therefore live a fulfilling life, do what makes you happy and push your comfort zone. However, if you engage with women as friends and are open about your desire to women you fancy then it's far more likely you will meet a willing partner.

curiiouscat · 2016-10-06T12:16:46+00:00

Women only have control over you because you let them dictate all of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. They are not telling you what to think, feel, or act-- you're fabricating that conversation in your head. However, the result is very real and that's hard.

I think this is a self esteem thing, if how you feel about yourself and your place in life hinges on seeing a woman in a magazine. That's a really deeply rooted issue, and it will take hard work to fix. I think it would be helpful for you to go see a therapist to work on building yourself up.

absolutebeginners · 2016-10-06T16:13:54+00:00

Low self esteem and entitlement likely, good question though. Stop worrying about what other people want. It seems like you view attention as an exchange of some sort, when in reality its 2 people who enjoy each others company. Just because you put in a lot of work doesn't mean you're entitled to anything. Stop viewing relationships as an exchange and see them as a partnership. Make your intentions known up front and don't get upset if you get rejected. Itll make you feel bad, but deal with it.

raziphel · 2016-10-06T17:16:18+00:00

Have you talked to a therapist about this?

It's good that you can control your actions, but you need to go deeper. Look inside yourself. Why do you feel women have power over you? Insecurity? Depression? Low self-esteem? Bad experiences with women in your past? These feelings have roots, and it's important to understand them if you want to actually change for the better. Don't beat yourself up for whatever you find of course, but understand that you shouldn't deflect the responsibility for whatever it is onto others.

And the right woman will go to great lengths for you, because that is what people do... but only if you're worth the effort. If you don't feel you are, then figure out what it takes to fix that.

bashar_speaks · 2016-10-06T13:51:49+00:00

You should probably try some monk-mode, look within, that's where the answers come from.

[deleted] · 2016-12-07T19:19:29+00:00

I feel like the "power" you're talking about seams to be sexual. I think it's important to point out that looking at these things in this way make you out to be a very sad, purely instinct sex driven monster. You are not. Men are not. People are not like that. A woman cannot make you do things by being attractive or acting with sexual confidence. You are not being manipulated by women simply existing and taking up room. Real manipulation, real abuse has very specific characteristics and I would encourage you to research up on those things.

sarah-goldfarb · 2016-10-08T18:08:31+00:00

Would you mind sharing more about how you came to develop that mindset to begin with? I just want to better understand your perspective. What has life been like for you, generally speaking?

stillaliveatage89 · 2016-12-05T15:22:04+00:00

Abusing and controlling people has the opposite effect. Just look up anything in history on why peasants revolt.

I'm a female and I can tell you when my partner(s) have started the controlling aspect it was like they started a war. And then I'd be in the unfortunate position of having to finish it.

As far as not having the experience of power you can have any power you want. Anyone can dress up in women's clothing and be "revealing" or men's clothing anyone can do that too.

It's really not a super power. Manipulation is all in your head and if you don't want to be manipulated you won't be.

They aren't in any control over you, and you aren't in any control of them either. That's just mental gymnastics and it has no real truth to it.

Hang out with people who aren't manipulating or controlling in the first place, meet them on equal footing and it'll get easier.

BloodRedAlert · 2016-11-04T09:59:26+00:00

The reason why you should know that women can be manipulative is to be able to see it and counter it assertively, not to cry over it and slam counter moves into their faces because that's just stupid. If men have muscles women have manipulation. They simply need it to survive as how we need strength to survive.

Title	How do I stop feeling that I am controlled and manipulated by women?
Author	throwaway79w-3494302
Upvotes	4
Comments	29
Date	October 6, 2016 5:19 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/563wh8/how_do_i_stop_feeling_that_i_am_controlled_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-stop-feeling-that-i-am-controlled-and.300374 https://theredarchive.com/post/300374