When it comes to TRP vs TBP, and all of the gender subreddits, I've been around. I've lurked in feminist subs, MGTOW subs, gender exclusive subs, incel/femcel subs etc., ranging from popular to obscure. In all cases, it's as if I'm witnessing a massive train wreck; it's all so terrible that I cannot look away. Despite my better judgment, I keep coming back, as I seem to be addicted to the shock that this ridiculous gender debate spurs in me.

Who has it harder? Who does more for society? Should you live in fear of men? Do women have any empathy at all? Here's a list of the 7 different types of people, which one are you? How is the woman in your life manipulating you? How is the man in your life abusing you? Is femininity good? Is masculinity bad?

I've seen enough to know that there is something fundamental, either about this site, or human nature in general, that absolutely prevents any real thoughtfulness and truth from getting out.

So much of this "debate" boils down to the most animalistic "Us vs. Them" impulses. It's always been this way. Gender is like race, times twenty. I've been interested in gender studies for a decade, because it's apparently such a contentious topic, and I was hoping I could understand it better. All that's happened is my mind has been filled with nonsense, pretending with varying degrees of competency that it is rigorously intellectual. All I can really say with any certainty at this point, is that I'm not certain about anything.

Arguments go nowhere. Generalizations abound. Emotions get in the way. Nobody's mind is changed. Hateful things are spouted by all "sides," without exception, but it's not "us", it's "them." Opposing viewpoints are pushed further apart. Reason and compassion are ignored.

At this point in the post I think I know what some people are thinking: "if it's bothering you, leave", or, "there are plenty of reasonable posts and threads on the subject..."

However, I feel I must express my concern that continued participation in *any* of these gender "debate" subs will only cause harm, regardless of how reasonable you are, or how reasonable you think you are. For every reasonable idea that reaches the light, a thousand misconceptions are spread. Hatred for the other is amplified. I never feel like more of a misanthrope than when I peruse this topic. At the very least, we're wasting our time. I think everybody would be better off just forgetting about it all.

Edit - Thanks for the responses. I'm glad my last post was a relatively lively one. I wasn't intending to troll.

Some of you have offered insight into how these subreddits can be helpful, and I'm glad for those who have used them for self-improvement. But I know I'm not the only one who is perturbed by the... less helpful posts. If you're new to the gender debate, and you find yourself often getting angry, or upset in any way by what some people are saying, as I have, I recommend that you walk away, as entertaining as it may be.

You might think that if you keep slogging through, you will eventually be satisfied with some sense of truth. I've been around here for a long time. It never comes. You might think you are better off knowing some of the horrible things that people think. You aren't. You might think that it's just entertainment, and won't do any harm. I doubt it. You might think that you can change things by hashing out ideas, like-minded or otherwise. You won't. Not here.

Some would call me weak-willed, but I'm not about to base my decisions on what strangers on the internet think about me. I'm not going to wade through an ocean of shit and barbed wire to prove my strength. I'm doing what's best for me, and putting this whole debate out of sight, and out of mind.

Best of luck.