Tips on how to Control Sexual Desires

Wonko_the_Sane77 · 2019-11-14T23:35:22+00:00

"Marrying in your 20s and 30s is a bad idea in our current environment, and I feel contempt seeing all these attractive women and not being able to do anything about it."

No. Marrying the wrong type of woman in your 20s and 30s is a bad idea. Book of proverbs is full of advise to young men in your situation.

The bible actually encourages young marriage to a virgin bride when young, to go at it like rabbits and have many Godly children. Are you willing to shoulder that level of responsibility? That contempt you feel should be channeled into becoming such a man.

Self-control is also a fruit of the spirit to be learned and developed during this time.

OrlandoTheAxe · 2019-11-15T01:39:21+00:00

Welcome! Here are some tips that have helped me in my ongoing battle. I can't speak much for sleeping around outside of marriage, but the principles are the same.

1. Make a firm commitment to sexual purity.

Burn, throwaway, or delete any sexually explicit items or media that you own. Install blockers on your devices if you need to. Don't indulge one last time before going on a streak. Start today. It is a life change, not a streak.

2. Learn to see porn and unbiblical manifestations of sex for what they really are.

Did you know that Israel has used porn as weapon against Palestine? Pornography and masturbation will drag you into depression, impair your ability to think clearly, and reduce your motivation. You become weak, docile, and impotent. The porn industry knows this, so it tries to silence and defame anyone who calls it out. Just look at how mainstream porn companies are responding to this year's No Nut November challenge.

Degeneracy begets more degeneracy. The more you indulge, the less satisfying it will be, and the further into depravity you will have to go to get the same feeling. You're perspective and priorities will be warped, and you'll do things you said you'd never do. Don't be fooled.

Learn to associate porn and masturbation with the destruction and emptiness that it brings in the long term instead of the 10 seconds of pleasure immediately afterwards.

3. Focus on self-improvement.

Taking away your one easy dopamine hit while living a life that makes you sad and unhealthy will almost always end in relapse. If you can make things better for yourself, it will be easier for you to stay the course. Exercise makes a big difference.

4. Accountability and brothers at arms.

Accountability is effective. What's even more effective is finding folks who can fight alongside you or guide you in your journey. You celebrate each other's successes and learn from each other's failures.

5. Exposure to media that advocates sexual purity.

Media like THE BIBLE. There are also some real gems among the NoFap community. You have to unlearn the lies of the corrupt culture and seek out the truth.

6. Stop beating yourself up.

Fixating on failure will undermine your motivation. You'll end up bingeing if you do this. Instead, pray, repent, and move on. You aren't going to fix it all at once. Everything doesn't reset when you relapse. Keep going.

7. Don't fixate on not relapsing.

The best way to do this is to find other, more important things to focus on. When urges come, let them pass. If you tense up and fixate on them, they will stick around much longer. You will not be horny forever; it will pass.

8. Stay busy.

You are more likely to struggle with urges and give in when you are bored or idle. The solution is to stay active. You can go entire days without thinking about sex at all if you stay engaged.

Bed times and wake-up times are the kryptonite here. For bed times, adhere to a regular sleep schedule and don't do things that aren't conducive to sleep right before bed (like browsing reddit on your phone). Some folks have also reported that meditating for 5 minutes before bed prevents urges. For wake-up times, you just gotta get up quickly. If you're horny, go pee; it helps take you out of the mood.

9. Pray.

Arguably the most important tool. Nothing can be done apart from the will of the God who created everything. The Holy Spirit can aid you in your struggle.

So hop on the wagon! This isn't a desperate struggle; it's a march on to glory! It's No Nut November, the month where there is an abundance of memes to motivate you, and the culture shows its true colors. Best of luck to you brother!

egc6 · 2019-11-14T21:49:19+00:00

How long you wait to get married is really only a question you can answer. I would advise against doing it in your early 20s or younger. You didn’t post your age but I’m assuming you are mid to late 20s? Maybe you are even younger.

As far as how to control urges and make yourself wait, it is much easier if you don’t casually date till you are ready to look for the one to marry. Instead focusing on yourself, your ministry, your friends, anything else. Education, sports, traveling, training, having fun in your youth. Also reading your bible and trying to cultivate your relationship with god and prayer can help. It isn’t easy and living in line with God can be difficult. I’ve struggled many times. Still do.

CarelessBowler5 · 2019-11-14T23:15:44+00:00

Do you watch porn? Do you masturbate?

Controlling sexual desire is kind of an all-or-nothing commitment.

Are you lifting weights and exercising regularly?

Rifleshoot · 2019-11-15T18:37:03+00:00

This is where I differ on RP orthodoxy. Most RP says "don't get married at all, but if you do, wait until you are in your 30's and marry a girl in her early-mid 20's." Biblically, if we are able to control our sexual desires and be chaste, then that is what we should in fact do. However, most men are unable to do this, and so marriage is how we are able to express our sexual desires in a God-approved manner. So if you are able to wait until your 30s to have sex, then it begs the question why get married and have sex at all if you have that self control? If you are like most men, you lack that ability (by design) and should be looking for a good wife as soon as possible. To me, the end goal of dating is to find a wife. And you want to find a wife because she is an approved outlet for your sexual desires. So, getting back to your question, how do I control sexual desires? By getting married to a woman and having sex with her.

PriestOfKitezh · 2019-11-15T19:11:43+00:00

Practical Ways to Avoid Lust

https://russian-faith.com/explaining-orthodoxy/practical-ways-avoid-lust-answers-priest-russia-n1574

2019-11-15T01:45:38+00:00

I ended up writing quite a bit. Go to TL;DR if you’re lazy!

I’m 21. Let me tell you right now that very little women want to get married at age 20, very little women are even worth marrying at age 20, and very little women are even within the same ballpark(in terms of religious beliefs) at age 20. Is it possible to find her and marry at age 20? Yes. But let’s be honest. It’s rare in our culture.

Around the age of 25-30 both men and women smarten up, which means your penis won’t get any action for potentially a decade.

Some say “the goal is not to think about it(sex)”, but not thinking about it is a form of thinking that makes you even more addicted because it denies what you know is pleasurable, and that builds the desire even more. Then you get stuck in the cycle of suppression. Temptation. Sin. Hate yourself. Repeat.

The real goal is to develop your mission.

Do something that changes the planet. Invent. Innovate. Start a world wide business. Get a 6 pack(muscle, not beer). Get the highest grade average at school while starting your own business. Do SOMETHING. Be the best man you can be and shake the entire freaking planet. Find your purpose. And if you don’t know what it is, then do SOMETHING anyway.

You’ll find that 1) Your desire for sex gets less because 2) Your desire for life itself grows 3) Women will be attracted to you, a man on a mission. She’ll want to be your helper. 4) You won’t need sex, which ironically makes all women want you even more 5) You’ll have a higher pool of women to pick from, guaranteeing the best mate

The truth is. “Just don’t think about it” is not the best advice.

You have to replace a bad thought with a good thought. A bad habit with a good habit. Excessive and constant sexual desire must be replaced by your mission.

That will naturally lower excessive desire.

Also. Masturbation, in my opinion, is perfectly okay to release physical tension and to prevent you from going insane. Just make sure you avoid porn and sinful material.

Nothing in the Bible says anything bad(or good) about releasing tension... Look at those Catholic Priests. Many of them are rapists, pedophiles, and disgustingly molest children because they were brainwashed into thinking sexual suppression is the answer. They suppressed them self for 10, 20, 30 years, and their mind went crazy.

And STILL, make sure you don’t touch your willy all the time, ya wanker. Have self control always.

TL;DR Have a mission. Find your purpose. It’s the best way to attract a proper woman, live your purpose, and control excessive desire.

you_who_sleep · 2019-11-23T20:44:33+00:00

Get used to seeing hot women everywhere and not doing anything about it. Especially after you Get married.

In the mean time, There is no single switch that is going to turn off your lust appetite completely. But I guarantee if you are very closely, intimately walking with the Lord and obedient to the word of God, your appetite won’t be out of control.

For me it’s super simple, when I take off the armor of God, I have no defense.

Billy_King · 2019-11-14T22:00:30+00:00

[visible confusion]

Title	Tips on how to Control Sexual Desires
Author	Long_Duty
Upvotes	9
Comments	21
Date	November 14, 2019 9:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/dwgcyi/tips_on_how_to_control_sexual_desires/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/tips-on-how-to-control-sexual-desires.301046 https://theredarchive.com/post/301046