38M, married 15 years with 2 kids. 175 lb about 12% BF. Estimated 1 RM's; SQ: 310, DL: 325, BP: 205, OHP: 135.

My wife and I were chatting about our congregation and the fact that there is very few men willing to step up and teach Sunday School classes. I was tapped to teach and decided to decline this specific time due to the long hours I’ll be working during that season which won’t allow for time for me to adequately prepare a lesson each week. And I don’t want to be that “teacher” that presses play and then asks “anyone have any thoughts?”

I didn’t come to her and ask “what should I do - should I teach this time?” I summarized the opportunity and gave her my decision all in one shot - “I’m not going to teach this time. I won’t be able to do it effectively with everything we have going on during this season.”

Our discussion shifted to men these days in general when my wife made the comment that so many men are way too passive. I just nodded my head, took a sip from my drink and said “pussies”.

She said “I’m so glad you’re not like that anymore.”

I just raised an eyebrow and continued to look at her.

“You’re not passive anymore. You stand up.”

I just nodded.

Shortly thereafter I initiated and we had sex.

—-

My progression from ultra-beta has been years in the making, even though it took a quantum leap forward when I discovered the RP. I’m not “there” yet. But, I’m better than who I was yesterday, last month or 5 years ago.

Early in our marriage, I was so passive and cared so much about what EVERYONE thought about me. The example my wife often brings up is when we were out to eat, my meal was done horribly wrong (I can’t remember the details - I probably ordered medium rare and it was still twitching and moo-ing). She pushed and pushed me to say something to the waitress but I refused - “It’s OK, I can eat it. No big deal.” I forced it down. When the waitress later asked how everything was I said “it was good.” I remember clearly the look of disdain on my wife’s face. But, I didn’t realize the implications back then.

Looking back, its no wonder that version of me dried up her vagina and locked her knees together.

—-

Your woman’s hamster thinks - “If he can’t stand up for himself - how can I trust him to stand up for me and our family?”