What’s your perspective on tunnel vision within the context of dating?

macmeeler · 2019-04-08T07:34:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Jalakee · 2019-04-08T13:25:02+00:00

I think that's sound advice. What you think you like is often different than what you actually like once you've been exposed to different personalities and lifestyles.

The challenge with being a Christian and doing this is the level of temptation you expose yourself too. Before I married I dated a LOT of women and I truly feel this gave me the background of experience to be able to recognize the gem I found in my wife. Had I met her 5 years earlier, I would not have appreciated her or I would have screwed it up. Granted, I was saved only in principle during that time and not walking with the Lord. So yes I had exposure probably close to triple digits but there was a ton of sexual sin in my life.

Inexperienced and desperate men tend to fall easily for women who show them any interest, are marginally attractive, or have a few shared values/interests. Listen, you can meet MILLIONS of women who check those boxes. That doesn't mean you should marry them. I dated several women who on paper would have made a good wife...but I'm glad I didnt marry them.

I think every young man who wants to be married should make a list of 10 (and only 10) things he wants in a wife. Keep it practical, and revise it annually. It will keep you grounded.

Red-Curious · 2019-04-08T15:40:39+00:00

While ONEitis may not be your problem right now, my post on ONEitis addresses your questions here.

4percent3381 · 2019-04-08T04:25:19+00:00

Vision on mission, abundance mentality, read the sidebar.

Willow-girl · 2019-04-08T11:34:42+00:00

The old saying, "It's easy to stand out in a crowd of one," comes to mind.

Deep_Strength · 2019-04-09T16:05:27+00:00

I posted a reply but it seems like it didn't post.

As I think about dating, it is very unsettling to me to ask someone out without knowing how committed she is in her faith. I understand that the purpose of a first date is to sort through those types of things but idk I just don’t think i would ask someone out without knowing whether she was committed in her faith.

Dating is just getting to know someone to see if you want to be in a relationship with them. You're not in a relationship with them. If they don't fit your criteria you can walk away. You're trying to see if they're a true Christian and willing to be your follower.

Don't overspiritualize dating.

ixyfang · 2019-04-13T02:56:39+00:00

Why date? Dating has rules. Those rules are written by women to tilt the everything to their advantage. They will also change the rules at any time, to meet their needs. Have fun. If you want a relationship, realize that she only cares about meeting her needs.

Title	What’s your perspective on tunnel vision within the context of dating?
Author	_deleted_username_
Upvotes	12
Comments	13
Date	April 8, 2019 1:52 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/banyrn/whats_your_perspective_on_tunnel_vision_within/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/whats-your-perspective-on-tunnel-vision-within-the.301342 https://theredarchive.com/post/301342