I used to criticize the guys at MRP for the ever persistent refrain: "STFU, lift, sidebar." I've changed my mind and now see the value in this approach better than ever. You all know that I'm a thinker/analyzer - but that only has value in its proper place. That place is for guys who are already past the basics or who can't even comprehend the basics at all (which is what the sidebar is for).

A user recently offered to let me make a case study of him, so I'm going to take him up on that offer - just not in the way he meant. He wanted me to explain his situation and share the details of what happened and an analysis of what he did right and wrong for the community to learn from. That would be a waste of everyone's time in this case. What he was really looking for was another opportunity to live in the past and engage in some mental masturbation over things that don't matter anymore. He got emotionally invested in a situation and just can't let it go (or hopefully he has now ... I doubt it).

To that end, here's what I wrote in reply, which I believe may benefit many of you to remember.


I think a case study would only encourage you to dwell on this more. You have already learned everything you need to from this situation: don't be some girl's beta orbiter and don't date nonchristians. If you're looking for more than that, you're losing your own frame and living in the frame of social psychology. Don't do that.

Find your mission and pursue it. Go to the gym. Eat healthy. Develop confidence and alpha behaviors. Get a good job or career path. All of these are more important than trying to milk a few more nuggets out of the past few months.

Until you're earning 75k+, benching 250+, under 12% body fat, and have at least 2 guys you're discipling, you have no business analyzing all this other stuff. The simple reality is that if you had all these other things in order, the last few months would have played out very differently.

Figure out the basics first. Only after you've mastered the basics should you be worrying about the minutia.


I'm reminded of my high school days when I asked a girl to the Freshman Formal and she turned me down. "I didn't word it right," I thought. Or, "I bet she really wanted some other guy to ask her." Or, "What if I asked again, but approached it this other way instead?" Or, "Maybe I can find out from her friends what would work with her."

I was an obese nerd. The thought never crossed my mind: "Maybe I should lose weight, gain muscle, do something important and valuable with my life, and get a spine." Don't wonder about the small crap until you've got the basics figured out first. Period.


Can I jump over two or three guys like I used to? No. Am I as fast as I used to be? No, but I still have the fundamentals and smarts. That's what enables me to still be a dominant player. As a kid growing up, I never skipped steps. I always worked on fundamentals because I know athleticism is fleeting. ~Kobe Bryant

Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals. ~Jim Rohn

What people don't realize is that professionals are sensational because of the fundamentals. The sensationalism has taken over the professionalism. ~Barry Larkin

Higher Education must lead the march back to the fundamentals of human relationships, to the old discovery that is ever new, that man does not live by bread alone. ~John Hannah

AXIOM 2: The greatest way to excel is by mastering the basics ~Me in 301