Hey all! First time poster here, but I have been reading the sidebar like crazy since I found this sub. I've always liked Red Pill, but it was far too scummy for me. I have an issue that I'd like some advice on, because I don't have too many masculine figures in my life to get advice from.
I am a 27 year old who went my own way when I was around 18, and I didn't come back to the Lord until 23. God has been able to mold me into something I thought I'd never be, and I'm so thankful that I can pursue a relationship with Him and love Him. I've been at my current church for 4 years, and I was able to be a big part of the music ministry (leading worship, planning the songs) and eventually was asked to become the Youth Worship Leader. I'm incredibly thankful to God for this, and I know He's giving me this time to grow in Him. My dream is to minister to others through music, so this has been nothing short of amazing.
I met an incredibly sweet girl at this church (she's 21) and we've been dating for a littler over a year and a half. This has been a first relationship for both us, so we've had to learn a lot. In the time we've been together I have been concerned about going forward with her. I absolutely want to marry her, but I'm afraid I may have been a bit too beta with her when we first got together. This sub has shed a lot of light on what I've been doing and how it's been affecting our relationship.
The biggest problem we are facing right now is that she wants to leave this church. I've expressed to her that I feel like we should both be at the same church serving together (she's also apart of the youth ministry) because I feel like it will help us grow together as a couple in Christ. It also feels hurtful to know that I'm pretty deep into serving God here, and she'd rather not support me and just peace out to do her own thing.
She's so sweet and loving and does have a fantastic relationship with God, but I am worried about going forward. She is seriously looking to get married within the next year. And I want to as well, but with this problem and a few others minor ones, I'm not sure what to do. One of the minor problems being: she told me she feels God isn't just calling her to be a mother, but someone who is actively out in ministry. I find that commendable, but is it wrong for me to be concerned that she's more interested in her own agendas? I just feel like she would focus less on being a helper, and supporting me.
There's other small stuff: her mother doesn't cook, so she never learned to cook and does not. Her mother doesn't really clean, so in turn, she doesn't clean often. And I've seen her mother being waited on constantly by her husband (he'll go out to get food after working) instead of her mother doing anything. And her mother is working from home, so she's usually free for hours before her husband is home. I see that and it worries me. Do I have a chance at asking my girlfriend to step up or am I being self-centered?
Apologies if some of this is common; I am still new here and learning. Any advice will be greatly appreciated!
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