Stats: Asian, 25M, solid career path, > $100K savings in stocks + bonds, DL: 315, S: 215, B: 145 (Lifting needs work but I've transitioned to biking recently since I'm doing a century soon. After the century I'll be transitioning back to lifting)

Mission: Bring the kingdom of God into the workplace through executional excellence and fearless faith.

Situation:

Hey all,

Would like some advice on a relationship conundrum that I've had with my last two relationships. In a nutshell, the girls get too attached. They'll say things like:

  • We don't talk enough
  • I want to hear more about your day
  • I want to spend more time with you
  • Do you miss me?
  • etc.

First, I think this is in general a good thing. Better that than showing no interest at all.

But I'm not sure how to respond to these situations with my current girlfriend. From what I've read across the manosphere and here, I spend a lot of my time cultivating meaningful male friendships, reading, lifting, working, and working towards my mission. Naturally I don't have a lot of free time. This allows me to naturally be more aloof with my girlfriend, which creates passive dread. Cool. I also know how to STFU or DARE and not DEER, so I can playfully shrug them off.

I do want to be clear that I make time for her. We spend > 4 hours together on the weekends and get dinner / call at least once during the week.

But it seems like there seems to come a point where either 1) the dread makes her feel uncared for or 2) the STFU or DARE makes her feel like I'm not listening to her. I'm wary that if I appease her desires in these areas I'll become more beta in her eyes. However, I do want to make sure she's comforted and feels safe with me, so I'm having a hard time finding that balance.

I think what I'm trying to ask is how do I increase my comfort game with her without maintaining frame with things like passive dread and assertiveness that comes with STFU and DARE?

If that's not the right question to be asking, I'd love to know that too. Thanks in advance, RPChristian community. Love the fact that this subreddit exists.

EDIT: Some stats about how much time I spend with my girlfriend.