My wife read the book Parenting by the Book, by John Rosemond. I haven't read it, but one of her take-aways was this. The author cites a shift that took place in the 70s/80s from the terms housewife/homemaker to stay at home mother as one of the primary contributing factors to most parenting problems we see today.

Specifically, he says that this terminology change, as well as the corresponding shift in focus of a woman's responsibilities, leaves a cultural stigma that a woman's primary responsibility is to her children first and that any duties around the home are secondary. That is, it's not her job to take care of the house, which is a mutual endeavor with her husband; rather, it is her job to raise the children, and she is the spouse primarily responsible for their care and upbringing.

As a result, the role of the father in children's lives has been minimized and became subsidiary to a "mother knows best" mentality. NMMNG talks about how children are impacted when women are the primary parents, particularly over their sons - they become "nice guys" instead of leaders who are bold, assertive, risk-takers, etc. I also get the idea that it's more convenient if a woman doesn't have to work that many child-related responsibilities would fall on her. But where is the balance?

What do you all think of this dichotomy? TRP and MRP uses the phrase "SAHM" a lot. Do you think we're re-enforcing this mentality when we do so? Should we be pressing for a return to terminology and a cultural stigma that restores a father's role with his children and affirms more traditional (perhaps biblical) roles between husbands and wives? Is it possible that Christian women hang onto the "SAHM" title as their last bastion of authority, since the Bible tells them they shouldn't try to control or rule over their husbands? Or is this really just a matter of convenience? What does your church teach about this stuff, or is it swept under the rug as one of those things too difficult to parse out, so it just never gets brought up? Or do words not really matter, so it's okay to call it whatever everyone else is calling it and any conversation on the topic is worthless in the first place?