18 Years Old. Fresh out of High School. Need Advice.

agoodcrayon · 2019-12-25T01:59:50+00:00

Get a job. Get some sort of income going. Do you have plans? Going straight to the workforce or college and work part time?

Get a plan going. Set some goals and start knocking them out. Figure out your mission for this life.

Depends on what you like but college seems like a business these days and you’ll be signing yourself up for lots of loans. See if trade school is an option for you. Men that know how to work with their hands are good and needed.

What are your current focuses?

As for increasing your Faith, listen to sound doctrine and learn who God is. Seek Him in all things.

Now, just because you’ve returned to God doesn’t necessarily mean you’re saved. I’ve seen many say the same thing only to throw it away a month later. Have you repented and submitted to Jesus? Seek and you will find.

If I were you, I would start with laying a foundation for yourself in Faith and in TRP. This means reading, researching, studying, observing the threads/experiences/scripture/real life and internalizing it all.

Don’t go Rambo. Try applying some of the things you learn until it becomes natural.

Remember, you are a man. You were called to have dominion, not be dominated. You are the prize or some call it gift. Grow confidence and become the best version of you for yourself and God only. Then, you’ll become a gift to anyone that crosses your path.

Ask for wisdom. Soak it all in. Make wise decisions. Learn from others mistakes - it’ll save you the time and pain. Gain discernment so you’re not easily manipulated.

There’s a lot more but these are some things to start with.

Oh and don’t forget to LIFT, STFU, and DNGAF. Read the sidebar.

OsmiumZulu · 2019-12-25T01:02:38+00:00

Rule #2: ALL posts asking for help with relationship issues must include the following:

Stats: body fat, height, weight, lifts, etc.
Reading: which sidebar content you’ve read (RPC and/or MRP)
Finances: current job and income quality, future prospects, debt issues
Spiritual: How mature you are, how often you pray, have quiet times, share your faith, memorize Scripture, etc. yeah

bkmafia · 2019-12-25T02:55:09+00:00

Repentance leads to sanctification. The Holy Spirit is who both the Father and Son sent after Jesus ascended into heaven. Walk in the Spirit/Pray in the Spirit/ in every situation give prayer and petition to the Father. The Holy Spirit, His Spirit will continue to conform you in the image of Christ.

hopeunseen · 2019-12-26T01:05:59+00:00

Good on you for sharing - You're in a great community.

Being 28, it feels like yesterday I was in your exact shoes. I'm not going to pretend I have the answers or a step by step roadmap, but I will share some of the things I've learned through my failures and experiences

1) The biggest setup to win or fail in your life often comes down to your community. You need a group of solid guy friends to do life and the journey with (not just this reddit group) People who will push you to do better, be better, support you when you need it, and kick you in the ass when you're acting like a retard. My suggestion would be to find a men's group in a church, as well as serve at church - Setting up chairs, greeting people, youth leader, help at a food bank - Honestly it doesn't matter so much WHERE you serve, but you've got to serve to really get access to a church family and not just be a visitor. Leading a group will also do amazing things for you - It will require you to grow, give you a sense of responsibility and also allow you to contribute to other younger men on the journey. Find and develop a community.

2) Do the obvious stuff. Common sense is not common practice. Unfortunately in life (or fortunately?) most of the time the answers are pretty simple - They're just not EASY. So you're fat? Easy answer: Caloric Deficit for fat loss and lifting for muscle gain. Cut ALL processed foods and anything with white in it out of your diet (white sugar, white flour, foods with preservatives or any ingredients you don't recognize.) - Eat CLEAN, WHOLE foods. Foods with 1 ingredient in them. Fresh meats. Fresh veggies. Brown rice etc. Create a meal plan to track your calories and make sure you eat at a deficit of 300 calories per day. Do this and you'll lose the weight.

Is it simple? Yes. Is it EASY? Hell no. Resisting cravings is one of the hardest things out there. Working out when you feel like crap is a battle.

Bit of a tangent but I hope you get the point. You probably already KNOW what you should be doing. There are no shortcuts. Just do the work and apply.

Read the sidebar. Develop your MAP and work your mission.

Lose the weight.

Get a job.

Start upskilling / developing your skills for a long term career (This can be done free and online for many careers these days)

Join a church

Serve at church

Begin asking out girls you interact with to have a coffee etc. (Rejection is okay - You're not asking to GET dates or find a wife right now, just to develop confidence and the strength to face rejection)

Stuff like this - Just make a list of the stuff you KNOW you need to do, and then start taking action.

3) Girls aren't worth pursuing. Yes I am serious.

As a single guy full of hormones I was always looking for girls, and spent my time worrying about what they thought and how I would get one. What a pathetic loser. Ever watch the Chad's of the world? They don't CARE about girls - They're busy having fun, living their lives, pursuing their mission... And they get all the action in the world because that's ATTRACTIVE. Girls want guys like that - Guys with a mission. Guys who don't orbit around women and treat them like the sun in the centre of their universe. The irony once you get married is you realize just how retarded you were trying so hard to get a girl and acting like they're rarer than diamonds. Well I have news for you: Diamonds aren't rare at all. The earth is full of them. We're just idiots who treat diamonds like they're worth more than anything else out there because culture has convinced us these stupid little rocks mean something. (I'm not saying women don't have value here - I'm just saying like diamonds, our society convinces guys they have to search after them when in reality that is the worst possible approach)

I could go on forever... But I think #1-3 are the biggest things. You've got lots of sidebar to get through first. Read that and then we'll talk further.

Good luck.

hiimsidd · 2019-12-25T23:21:25+00:00

I'm a recent convert from atheism, so take the two below points I have with a grain of salt.

Find a church. Go to church. Surround yourself with those people.
Realize you cannot do this without Christ (seemingly you have, just reinforcing that). You just can't.

Second – get a routine going. I cannot function without a routine at all. Of course there is personality differences, but in general, I find that men do well with routine and general structure.

Job. Get a job. Anything for now.

Third – A technique I have used in the past to "motivate" myself: Imagine what your life, and your being itself, would be like if you sit around and do nothing, and stay in the current state you are in. Explore it in your mind. Where will you live? What will you look like? How will your days be?

Do you want that?

Now imagine what your life and being (by "being" I mean that kind of person you are, THE person who are) will be if you start climbing. If you start telling the truth. If you start coming up with a plan and sticking with it. If you submit to Christ and follow Him. Imagine how you could justify your existence, as an image bearer of God. Hell – who knows how far, and what you could do. You could be stellar. Admired even.

That you have identified what you could be and what you will be if you stay here.

God Bless

rocknrollchuck · 2019-12-26T00:33:41+00:00

Welcome!

But, I also began watching a lot of pornography, thinking of the things I would do once I began 'spinning plates', and dove deep into that as well . . . eventually TRP (I read/ watched the toxic stuff) and Pornography led to me to develop some very nihilistic, materialistic, (etc) views of the world, and life. They made me view women like objects, and not as humans. I pushed a lot of family and friends away. I got fat and full of acne. Everything went downhill for me.

So, here I am now. A loser, struggling with my addictions, and at the very bottom. A couple weeks ago, I had a panic attack, and somehow, someway - I found my way back to God. I poured out my soul to him (while dealing with panic attacks) and when I did, the fear and anxiety left, and I felt a sense of peace wash over me. It was surreal.

Glad to see you turned to God in your time of need. You've come to the right place. But let me ask you a question: are you born again? This is the most important question you will ever answer. There is nothing more important than your eternal salvation.

Stats: 18 y/o. BF 25+%, 5'8, 201+ lbs, Bench Max: 280 lbs, Squat Max: 315 lbs.

Reading: I've read up until 100s - Theory and Understanding, just started on the sidebar yesterday.

Finances: No job. No stream of income.

Spiritual: Found Faith 2 weeks ago. Have been praying/ thanking 2+ times per day, and reading at least 2 chapters of the Bible per day.

Looks like you're off to a good start. Reading the Bible is definitely where I would begin. You can find my reading plan here - it doesn't matter if you use that one or another one, the main thing is that you read God's Word consistently, every day, and a reading plan is the best way to ensure that you do. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Also, I see you're lifting so that's great. What lifting program are you currently following?

Are you attending a local church weekly? If not, here's a good post and video on how to find a biblical one - read the comments too.

The advice that others have given you about finding a job is good as well. Idle hands are the devil's playground, as the saying goes. Plus, you need money like we all do.

The thing is . . I'd like to lead a better life. One where I'm strong in my Faith, Strength, and Mentality. Free from vices. And with a Strong Wife and Family of my own. I'm shooting far and wide - yeah, I know. Though, I'd like to reach out to you guys because a lot of you know much more than me, and I need your help. I can't do this on my own.

Keep reading through the Sidebar posts, and make sure you check out the "For Singles" section, it contains a lot of articles that pertain to questions you've asked.

What can I do to improve (get out of this slump)? The new year is about to start and I'd like to really change this year.

In addition to the things already mentioned, start posting in the weekly OYS thread so we can help you grow and discover your blind spots. A new one just dropped today. This is one of the best tools to keep yourself accountable and grow. Also consider purchasing The Biblical Masculinity Blueprint written by our very own u/Deep_Strength, it is a great road map for all of this as well.

CarelessBowler5 · 2019-12-26T02:36:40+00:00

watching a lot of pornography

This is one of the biggest gains you can make right now. Stop consuming porn. Stop masturbating as well. If you can't go cold turkey, develop a plan to wean yourself off.

When I was in this place, I found it immensely helpful to join r/nofap. Reading content every day about the evils of pornography really helped me say no day after day after day. It's the one community on the internet where it's normal not to watch pornography and masturbate.

I also recommend familiarizing yourself with the content from Fight the New Drug. It will open your eyes to just how deeply pornography is affecting you in ways you're not presently aware of.

Earlier today, I was online, came across a triggering thumbnail, the urges got to me (I should have stopped myself), and I relapsed, twice . . .

Always remember that conviction of sin is a gift of the Holy Spirit. The fact that you feel bad about sinning is evidence that God is at work in your life.

BF 25+%

Also, in my opinion, an easy area to start winning. It will take time, but you can start making significant progress right now.

Realize that being overweight and obese contributes to all the other issues in your life. If you could see your six-pack abs in the mirror, do you think you'd feel confident with women? Yeah. You would. Ask me.

I lost 30lbs this summer, going from 22% BF down to 12% at my lowest (before eating larger amounts of food again to gain muscle).

The first step is self-awareness. Even if you don't change your eating habits, download an app like Lose It or MyFitnessPal and start tracking what you're eating. Make a best guess if you're not exactly sure what to enter.

As you build this habit, the apps will help you see patterns, and you'll start to see how you can implement some better habits in your diet. If you stick with it, the pounds will start to fall off.

On my journey, there were a number of days where I recall looking at a piece of cake at my work cafeteria, thinking to myself, "Okay. This one piece of delicious cake is so many calories that if I decide to eat it now, I cannot eat dinner tonight *and* still lose weight." It was easy to say no to the cake.

We're here for you man. If you are willing to stick with it and put in the work, we're here to support you.

ruizbujc · 2019-12-25T23:59:17+00:00

Why do you want a wife and family?

hopeunseen · 2019-12-26T01:07:04+00:00

Good on you for sharing - You're in a great community.

Being 28, it feels like yesterday I was in your exact shoes. I'm not going to pretend I have the answers or a step by step roadmap, but I will share some of the things I've learned through my failures and experiences

The biggest setup to win or fail in your life often comes down to your community. You need a group of solid guy friends to do life and the journey with (not just this reddit group) People who will push you to do better, be better, support you when you need it, and kick you in the *** when you're acting like a retard. My suggestion would be to find a men's group in a church, as well as serve at church - Setting up chairs, greeting people, youth leader, help at a food bank - Honestly it doesn't matter so much WHERE you serve, but you've got to serve to really get access to a church family and not just be a visitor. Leading a group will also do amazing things for you - It will require you to grow, give you a sense of responsibility and also allow you to contribute to other younger men on the journey. Find and develop a community.
Do the obvious stuff. Common sense is not common practice. Unfortunately in life (or fortunately?) most of the time the answers are pretty simple - They're just not EASY. So you're fat? Easy answer: Caloric Deficit for fat loss and lifting for muscle gain. Cut ALL processed foods and anything with white in it out of your diet (white sugar, white flour, foods with preservatives or any ingredients you don't recognize.) - Eat CLEAN, WHOLE foods. Foods with 1 ingredient in them. Fresh meats. Fresh veggies. Brown rice etc. Create a meal plan to track your calories and make sure you eat at a deficit of 300 calories per day. Do this and you'll lose the weight.

Is it simple? Yes. Is it EASY? Hell no. Resisting cravings is one of the hardest things out there. Working out when you feel like crap is a battle.

Bit of a tangent but I hope you get the point. You probably already KNOW what you should be doing. There are no shortcuts. Just do the work and apply.

Read the sidebar. Develop your MAP and work your mission.

Lose the weight.

Get a job.

Start upskilling / developing your skills for a long term career (This can be done free and online for many careers these days)

Join a church

Serve at church

Begin asking out girls you interact with to have a coffee etc. (Rejection is okay - You're not asking to GET dates or find a wife right now, just to develop confidence and the strength to face rejection)

Stuff like this - Just make a list of the stuff you KNOW you need to do, and then start taking action.

3) Girls aren't worth pursuing. Yes I am serious.

As a single guy full of hormones I was always looking for girls, and spent my time worrying about what they thought and how I would get one. What a pathetic loser. Ever watch the Chad's of the world? They don't CARE about girls - They're busy having fun, living their lives, pursuing their mission... And they get all the action in the world because that's ATTRACTIVE. Girls want guys like that - Guys with a mission. Guys who don't orbit around women and treat them like the sun in the centre of their universe. The irony once you get married is you realize just how retarded you were trying so hard to get a girl and acting like they're rarer than diamonds. Well I have news for you: Diamonds aren't rare at all. The earth is full of them. We're just idiots who treat diamonds like they're worth more than anything else out there because culture has convinced us these stupid little rocks mean something. (I'm not saying women don't have value here - I'm just saying like diamonds, our society convinces guys they have to search after them when in reality that is the worst possible approach)

I could go on forever... But I think #1-3 are the biggest things. You've got lots of sidebar to get through first. Read that and then we'll talk further.

Good luck.

Title	18 Years Old. Fresh out of High School. Need Advice.
Author	NovRe
Upvotes	10
Comments	19
Date	December 25, 2019 12:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/ef9hfv/18_years_old_fresh_out_of_high_school_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/18-years-old-fresh-out-of-high-school-need-advice.302918 https://theredarchive.com/post/302918