Are you busy? What is reading this post distracting you from right now?
Is this just another pit stop on the internet for you? Are you just endlessly surfing the internet and playing video games?
Get busy.
I remember the days when I wasn't busy: desperately trying to suck up to an ex to win her back, flailing in the wind to keep women's attention, swiping desperately on the apps. I would come home, stuff my face with food, sit in front of the TV, surf the internet for hours on end, take a shit, ogle women on social media, try to think of the perfect comment to leave on their post, try to figure out the perfect text message to send that one woman whose number I felt so lucky to get, jerk off, go to bed, work, rinse, wash repeat.
Then I got busy. I have a clear vision in my head of the version of myself I want to become and the life I want to live. It's given me a series of ever branching goals that I chase and build upon. As far as I can see it's going to be never ending and it excites me more than anything else out there.
Now I don't have time to figure out what women are thinking, their intentions, who they are with or what they posted online. I don't have time to send you a "Good morning beautiful" text, 10 other guys already gave you your validation for the day on my behalf. I don't have time to text you back just because you texted me. I'm busy working on something and I won't be distracted.
I don't have time for long elaborate dates. The most I have time for is 1.5 drinks, some light snacks at the bar and a short romantic walk back to my place.
I know what I want and if you:
Don't know what you want? Go home, I'm busy.
Having second thoughts? Go home, I'm busy.
Just want to be friends? Not into you like that. Go home, I'm busy.
Want a pen pal? No time to engage in that. I'm busy.
I stopped having to chase women. They hit me up now to ask for few hours of my time.
Why does it work? Others can weigh in but here is my take:
Supply and demand: Demonstrate that time spent with you is valuable, then by being naturally busy demand will go up.
Busy men get shit done: Busy men working towards something tend to have life made. The busy men bring home food for the tribe, win wars, conquer the world. Busy men win. Who doesn't want to be with a winner?
So I'll ask again: Are you busy?
Honestly this advice is..... straight to the point and worthwhile.
Exactly what I needed. Cheers dude.
I think in a sense we all suffer from procrastination. Best way to combat it ?
Make sacrifices and be truthful to yourself. Unfortunately mine is YouTube/Netflix and reddit. My next step is to uninstall but what a wonderful drug it has been.
Best way to combat it is to start treating time with the respect it deserves.
Step 1: Get out a pen and paper. Write down your goals starting from end to beginning. This will look like this
50 year goals 25 year goals 10 year 5 year 1 year 6 mo 1 mo 1 wk 1 day 1 hr
College aged and young men have too much time they use to sit down and hang around people with no ambition for the most part. This helps break out of that. Be very critical who you are letting influence you (even family and BEST friends, they will likely not contribute to you being successful long term and even if they SAY they want the best for you, it is usually only in terms of how it compares to them. Surround yourself with people that raise the water line and are OK with you getting even better than them because it will push them to do more. High self esteem people do not compete, they collaborate. Use this to your advantage and quit comparing yourself to others and what you can get, focus on what you can give to others. A HEALTHY sense of competitiveness is the essence of value between men.)
Now, Keeping the first section in mind, ask yourself what the perfect hour would look like. The mindset you would have, the state you will be in, the level of focus you will have. Don’t see this as work. See this as small steps in reclaiming the confidence you once had. Understand that there is a level of confidence and self esteem you don’t even know exists yet for yourself and you can accomplish things you aren’t even thinking about yet once you reach it. Even if you have never had confidence in your entire life, imagine yourself so vividly acting this way and identify with that person until you feel like it has been viciously robbed from you and you absolutely need to get it back.
Now that you’ve done this, write out what the perfect hour would look like at every hour you are awake. 5am : wake up at the first alarm, cold shower immediately (5-5:10) work out (5:15-5:45), meditate (5:45-6) Etc and do this for every hour you are awake. Account for every single minute. Imagine your potential and be authentically grateful that you even have the ability to read RP, to breathe, and to act upon this information. Hell, he grateful you can even fucking read. Write down all the things you are thankful for, internalize that, and understand how lucky you are to have the opportunities you do. This will give you a much greater sense of urgency and purpose that most take for granted.
Saving this. Thank you for your wisdom.
Im in the same boat. Youtube/ Amazon Prime Video consumes a lot of my time. People say “its how you use it” and to some point that is true. My case is that I want to consume high value content for lets say 20 minutes on YouTube and get off it, but I end of watching low value content for 2 hours after those 20 minutes. I assume other people are in the same situation too and the best way to deal with it is as you suggested, to delete the app and block it from your main operating system.
Same for social media where we are exposed to good looking fake girls, cars, luxury and just people showing off. We double click and get an instant“reward” without doing any work. It really f***’s up with the brain.
I wish you luck on getting of YouTube and social media. It is something that I am preparing to do. Currently I am downloading high value YouTube videos where I will watch for a week. I will allow myself to go on YouTube only once a week to pick YouTube videos to download. This will mean that I will be making conscious decision on what to consume and I wont drift off and end up watching other low value unrelated content. I don’t really need social media as I have other means of communications if needed with people in my circle.
Please keep me updated on your “journey” as I found it really interesting that you mentioned YouTube.
Good luck and get busy on being productive while consciously making a decision on the tasks that you will work on to be busy!
Social media has long been gone for me. I fit into the younger demographic so our tv is YouTube. I’d uninstall YouTube but I need to study for a serious test in a month and they’ve got great videos on there.
Problem is you kill one bad habit and you look for the next one. It could be positive but you really have to enforce it.
I’ll shoot ya a pm in about a month letting you know how things went.
thanks and make sure to not forget
A very important message which I believe can help all of us gain more peace of mind. The relentless tyranny of our own mind when it is under-stimulated and starts generating its own stimulus is definitely also what Seneca is addressing when he said: "we suffer more often in imagination that in reality."
An important addition to this post, and which it is hinting at, is the question: What activities lead to being busy in a "good" way and which to more suffering? Many among us, including myself, at times open up reddit or IG exactly to be busy with something, because we cannot sit still in a room with ourselves.
I do not have the perfect answer here but I believe good start is in balancing active and passive productive activities.
Most of us are bound to our desks and are left with way too much energy which we have no idea what to do with. We make it even worse with, like OP indicated, we spend our "relax time" being even more passive. Some very small practical advice: if you want a good busy break: even a three minute run is fucking great. Don't care where you are or what clothes you're wearing. Just fucking run for a minute.
To close, I believe the "right kind of busy" is so widely misunderstood because we believe our quality time for ourselves should somehow be a tensionless state, which sadly just leads to being disquiet and trying to win your ex back.
Bro that is literally me right now ..constantly thinking of my ex desperately searching girls to approach ...this post gave me insight thanks
Be busy, confident and aloof...and get fit. They'll approach you.
Welcome.
How are you even in this sub
You gotta start somewhere bro
Maybe he’s tired of the bs and is just now waking up. Why not welcome him?
Busy is good, but busy for the sake of “being busy” is not.
Remember to weigh your todo lists by effectiveness vs. time, then prioritize and execute.
I Agree with the message just Disagree in its phrasing.
Instead of always being busy.
Always do things that are meaningful towards a better, more actualized you.
The difference is: one could be busy watching to much henti, the other is doing something more meaningful.
What would you rather have? A meaningful life or a busy life?
This post should be pinned.. cheers my dude. Let's all kill it in 2020!
I like this post, simple but true.
Don't fake indifference or lack of emotional investment in women. Don't sit there forcing yourself not to text her while your brain runs wild wondering what she's doing.
Actually BE busy. Put your mental and emotional focus into many things other than women. You're lifting? Be totally focused on the gym, your form, that extra rep. You're working? Be focused on doing it to the best of your ability. Have a mission? Be focused on striving forward, learning from mistakes, performing your best. Study? Get your head in the books.
Achieve real indifference and lack of emotional investment in girls.
Great post man. Thanks for your contribution.
If you're sacrificing & forcing yourself to be busy then you're doing somethong wrong. It should be an effortless flow.
Keep busy.... Its the cheapest medicine there is.
Everything in moderation, including moderation
This is good redpilled content
I am going to be busy on high-value activities. Social media consumes way too much of my time with no benefit to me, therefore I will be off social media and YouTube too. This is because YouTube in a way is somehow similar to Social Media, it has that endless scrolling and new videos. Our brain has changed so much that all we want is instant reward without the work, we see the best girls and cars on social media, we double click and get a “reward” (somehow) and we just keep repeating the cycle. Same thing with YouTube, we always watch “the best” moments of episodes or compilations, we are no longer used to truly get busy and reap the reward afterwards. Thanks for this reminder. Get busy on high-value activities and just get of Social Media, get off YouTube and start spending your time reading, watching useful courses. Yeah YouTube has good content so pick what you want to watch, download it and don’t go back for a week. Be conscious and picky of each image you expose yourself to, each video you watch, always be conscious and be busy!
What are you busy with now?
What does it mean to be busy though? Can you give us some examples. You can gym and be busy, but thats only 1-2 hours max per day, what else can you do?
Maybe take some classes or learn a new skill online? There’s always something to learn!
I needed to read this today, thank you.
Busy with something special means you’re unmoved by the winds of life too, it keeps your head down, keeps you out of trouble. It’s a key tenet to having a truly rewarding and pleasurable life... not just for you but for your tribe so to speak
Thank you I really needed to hear this
Wow. Is this your own message/work?
If so, right fucking on!
If not, right fucking on!
Great message. In being busy, make sure you are busy building yourself up. Then you have value that others, especially women will desire.
Timely post, I sure won't have any trouble this month at least. Working critical care unit, 12 hour days x6 days per week. 70-80hpw
I'll be honest, 3 years ago I would be smoking weed 3-4 times a week and spending whatever time I had left on YouTube and even staying up until 3-4 AM. As a result, my grades for school was complete shit. I was tired all the time. Things that helped me was this:
Read, The Seven habits of highly effective People
You only really need the first three habits to really become "busy"
The rest of the book goes into detail of building relationships with others
I highly recommend understanding the material. Read a few pages, stop and ponder. Think of how the content applies to your life. Highlight important parts, sticky tabs the pages, write it all down. Constantly refer back to the applications to your life and reflect on your progress. For some people, this transformation will happen quickly, but like most people it will take years and that's the beauty of it all.
busy is bullshit.
having something to do is different, just doing stuff cause you do stuff means you cant deal with your own head.
the biggest mistake is that we automatically believe our thoughts are the truth which they are not. dont create assumptions about every little thing and dont believe your assumptions anyway. what I am trying to say is that once you realize your mind running amok creating thoughts and assumptions is just one big pile of bullshit you will become more free in your own mind.
getting busy is the way as well but even if you're busy but still creating assumptions and thoughts about anything else which you are not doing in the present moment you are not in control.
Not only does being busy achieve outcome independence, but it actually makes you happier. There was a study somewhere done on what’s known commonly as “the zone” and the subjects recorded peak happiness during this time.
It appears to me youu want to look busy, not actually doing something fruitful.
Lols but, to dispute this idea I have some homies who have no job, no ambition and go through girls like toilet paper. You don’t have to be of value, you just have to behave like you’re of value and girls will gobble it up
Typically those girls are trash, high-value women want more. Beyond that you shouldn't be doing this for women, it should be for yourself. I've been on the Red pill for ages before it was quarantined. I finally have reached the point where I've realized that your goals and purposes in life should be about you, what you want, what you enjoy. You enjoy women , I get that, me too...but that pursuit is so fleeting. Pursue something that has permanence, that leaves a legacy. The women will follow, but they should never be the goal.
You sound like a bitter man with sour grapes.
And you sound like a little bitch.
I'll make you my little bitch.
you sound like a sour man with bitter grapes
How did you come to this conclusion? Please elaborate.
thank God there is someone evolved enough to have a conversation. It's his attitude. He reads as a guy who has been rejected a little bit to much. More than he could handle. He uses "I'm busy" as a shield. He holds so tightly, relying on it to stop any emotion from seeping into his "frame". That is not the redpill. The red pill is a set of tools anyone can use to improve there lives. It is not meant to used as a safety blanket, nor as an ideology. But based on the number of downvotes I've gotten, these sycophants are missing the forest for the tree.
I get how you could read it that way.
Being busy as a shield could be productive in the short term, but will ultimately tear you down in the long run. I figured out my own set of "tools" well before I hit this sub and one of the first ones I stumbled upon was being busy valuable goals. It switched my mindset from chasing women to chasing the best version of myself.
What up OP, I'm glad you saw my responses. You are absolutely right about being busy, being productive in the short term. However the line between short term and long term is very blurred and your original post never mentioned it. I worry a reader will misinterpret your words and go off being misinformed. With the way the world is now it's likely. It's also likely as it's been shown that people will defend a a speech or post against someone who critizes it, even if that someone is on the same side and agrees but is trying to...not clear up but, trying to add polish and build onto it and warn of possible pitfalls. I failed to do that in my first comment and that's my mistake. The downvotes are my punishment 🤷♂️
I don't disagree. It's imperative we busy ourselves, to improve and grow.