My whole purpose in life since I was 11 years old, which was when I discovered porn, masturbation, and orgasms, has been about pursuing women for sex. As a 20-year-old virgin, my efforts toward getting laid for the first time have been futile and it is because of this, I have been avoiding becoming a Christian.

Ever since I was young, I've found it hard to imagine life without having sex with different women. In today's American society, marriage is becoming more unfavorable by the day. If I am forbidden to have sex until I am married, then how I am to accomplish this? In my heart, I know Christianity is the way I should live my life but I find it hard to live a Christian life in Modern Times.

I know that it is in my best interest to forget women and turn my heart towards God, but once I accept this frame of mind, what will life be like for me? My personal goal in life is to have a multitude of children with a submissive woman I love. This means that I should be on my purpose, taking care of myself Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally Physically and Financially. Despite this, I am nowhere near achieving these goals. I am bad with women and I can't seem to keep them around and can't help but believe that this is the work of God. Therefore, my biggest fear is that I will remain a virgin forever and live a life I am unhappy with in pursuit of His purpose.

I plan on inquiring with God about this as I am afraid of what my life will be like once I fully submit my will to Him. While I want to forego my worldly values, I pray that God provides me what I desire. For those of you who have lived life as a Christian for some time and have shared the same fears as me, how have you overcome them and what are some things I can do now to live according to God's word? When will I know it's time to marry, lose my virginity, and raise children?