How to communicate self-improvement to a potential partner?

OsmiumZulu · 2019-10-23T17:36:53+00:00

Please don't go easy on me.

How to communicate self-improvement to a potential partner?

You don’t. STFU. Acta Non Verba.

HT 5'6" WT 131 BF 14%

Bro, do you even lift?

29 YO single RedPilled 3 weeks, redpill aware 3 months. (OYS on MarriedRedPill)

So you’re a complete novice who hasn’t had even remotely enough time to internalize what you’ve read. Also, If you don’t lift you aren’t redpilled at all.

This is my first time posting here. I'm not fully religious yet

What does this even mean? That’s like saying, “I’m not fully black yet”. Do you not have faith or are you just struggling to act consistent with your new faith?

I broke up with my LTR and met interesting girls. One who likes me is religious and checks all boxes, and I recognize she is a marriage material, and she is looking for marriage and strict about sexuality.

You have oneitis bad. Is she actually strict about sexuality or is she that way with you? AWALT man. That isn’t to say she is sleeping around, but in today’s SMP you are a fool not to assume the worst. Her n count and propensity to fool around won’t be something you will ever be able to get a firm trustworthy knowledge of, so the question is: assuming she has a massive body count, is she still your special snowflake princess?

I'm talking to several girls beside her to maintain my abundance.

Talk is cheap. Could you hit these girls up and go on a date this weekend? Are they interested in you romantically/sexually? Are they even hot or simply female? Abundance only works if the abundant alternatives are viable alternatives.

Her issue is that she requires a man to be religious and on high manners.

No, she doesn’t. She fantasizes about bad boys who break the rules. Her panties get wet for the scoundrel. She roes require her beta bucks to be well behaved to make him easier to tolerate though.

I’m not here yet, esoically with the use of swearing words

I don't want to do anything for her sake.

Except you do...

I'll be upfront and transparent "At this stage of my life journey, XYZ are my top priorities on self improvement. I have some weaknesses that may be relevant to your selection of a partner, like my regular usage of swear words. I understand that it's not ideal manners, but it's important for me to focus my efforts on XYZ first because it impacts me more in ABC ways.

Yup. Qualifying yourself and explaining how you fit into her frame is a surefire way to...

make sure that I'm approaching this in a full redpill manner.

You aren’t.

But to keep my beta on check, since I may say something stupid fearing the sting of nexting her

How’s that abundance mentality working out for you?

If it is more pleasing to your ears, I will try my best not to use swear words around you.

This is beyond cringe. I feel my T levels dropping just reading it.

However, I do not want to misrepresent myself here, so my usage of swear words will still maintain regularity outside of our conversations. If it is critically important for you that in the long run your partner does not have such manners, I may make these changes in the distant future because I do see merit in how it relates to exemplary manners and character, but I would need the space and time to make these changes of my own accord without any undue pressure. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my priorities and terms on this."

Dude, this is so boring. Why not write up a contract and have your attorney go over the terms of your interactions with her? It would probably have the same effect on her interest levels.

Let’s look a little closer:

However, I do not want to misrepresent myself here, so my usage of swear words will still maintain regularity outside of our conversations.

“Let me explain my thoughts and actions to you so that you don’t accidentally think I am mysterious or interesting.”

If it is critically important for you that in the long run your partner does not have such manners, I may make these changes in the distant future because I do see merit in how it relates to exemplary manners and character, but I would need the space and time to make these changes of my own accord without any undue pressure.

“I super duper really want you to like me, and I don’t have enough self control or drive to meet our standards yet but someday I absolutely will be able to mold myself in such a way that I measure up to you!”

I'd love to hear your thoughts on my priorities and terms on this."

“Do you like my ideas mommy???”

You are a complete rookie and need to read the sidebar, lift, and STFU until you “get it” because you clearly have missed many of the most basic concepts.

Red-Curious · 2019-10-23T19:37:15+00:00

I'm not fully religious yet

Good. Don't be. Religiosity is what ushered in the transition from Christianity to churchianity.

RedPilled 3 weeks, redpill aware 3 months

I probably need to do a post on this, but what you said makes no sense. The Red Pill is truth. Once you're aware of the truth and accept it as truth, you're red pilled. The only way I can interpret this phrase to make sense is to say that you became aware of the existence of the red pill 3 months ago, but didn't start reading content and agreeing to the truth of it until 3 weeks ago.

What I'm really guessing you mean, though, is that you started applying behaviors that you think are "red pill behaviors" about 3 weeks ago, like lifting, developing frame, etc. This is a wrong framework for understanding things.

met interesting girls. One who likes me is religious ... she requires a man to be religious

As well she should. This isn't "her issue," as if this is a problem with her. Biblically, it's foolish and unscriptural to be with a non-believer (unless you became a believer post-marriage). Of course, that doesn't actually stop most girls, which is why she's showing interest in you in the first place, despite your spiritual ambiguity. This is another reason why I believe God has men in authority rather than women. While there have certainly been situations where men have abandoned their faith for women, it is significantly less often when you see the reverse. A quick look on any dating app and you'll see in droves the number of women who profess "Christian" or "God comes first" on their profiles, who also have countless children out of wedlock, boozing it up, using drugs, etc.

I want to make sure that I'm approaching this in a full redpill manner

Then why are you bringing it up at all? The "full red pill manner" is acta non verba. I swear, people today are so screwed up with this "communication is the life blood of relationships" nonsense. Get that out of your head. Take a vow of silence for 30 days, learning to communicate solely through action (and not sign language or charades) and I guarantee your attractiveness will be much better for it.

At this stage of my life journey

I don't care about the nuance of what you actually said and how it should be interpreted. She will hear: "Oh, so he intends to stop improving in these areas at other stages in his life."

I have some weaknesses that may be relevant to your selection of a partner

i.e. "I recognize that you're the one in the position of social dominance because you get to select who you marry, and I'm just lucky to have the chance to be selected by you."

I understand that it's not ideal manners, but it's important for me to focus my efforts on XYZ first because it impacts me more in ABC ways.

i.e. "It really matters that you agree with me because I'm hung up on what you think, so I'm going to defend my position and explain to you my rationalization for exactly why I'm doing things this way, after which you will agree with me and I will feel much better once I have your approval."

If it is more pleasing to your ears

"... because my life mission is to make you happy, my dear."

I will try my best not to use swear words around you

"... because I recognize how important it is to conform my behaviors to your liking."

I do not want to misrepresent myself here, so my usage of swear words will still maintain regularity outside of our conversations

"Don't worry, I'm still going to pretend to be alpha to everyone else - but for you, I'll be as beta as you want me to be."

If it is critically important for you

"... yes, FOR YOU - because doing things FOR YOU is everything I live for"

I may make these changes in the distant future

"... FOR YOU I will make permanent changes to my life. Not for God. Not for my own well-being. I'll do it FOR YOU."

because I do see merit in how it relates to exemplary manners and character

"See how great I can rationalize pussifying myself at your feet as really a choice for me instead? Don't worry, honey. Any time you want me to change something about myself, as long as you can give me a rationalization that my hamster can get behind, I'll make the change because I can convince myself I'm doing it for me."

but I would need the space and time to make these changes of my own accord without any undue pressure

"... because I'm a pussy who isn't disciplined enough to make significant life changes without substantial space and time, and especially not under pressure. And if you are trying to pressure me at all, my desire to do it FOR YOU will be so strong that I won't be able to do it for myself because I cannot see myself apart from my desire to do things FOR YOU. But if you can stop pressuring me, then it'll be a lot easier for me to convince myself that what I'm doing FOR YOU is really for myself."

I'd love to hear your thoughts on my priorities and terms on this.

"... because I'm happy to change my priorities and terms if you think I should."

Seriously, it's crap like this that makes me see why the MRP guys throw around words like "faggot" and "autist" so much. Are you trolling us? Or do you really think this way?

As /u/OsmiumZulu said: acta non verba. Let that be your mantra.

rocknrollchuck · 2019-10-24T01:30:19+00:00

I'm not fully religious yet,

Everyone else already ~~beat you up~~ covered the rest, so I'll just ask you this: are you born again? It's really the most important part of all this.

Rifleshoot · 2019-10-23T16:55:29+00:00

Well, once you are saved, you go through a process of “sanctification.” It’s where you start trying to become more like Christ and to reject your former sinful self. I’m in a similar boat with the swearing. I spent 5 years in a frat house, so I picked up some bad language habits. I’m trying to become less crass in my language and be more pure in general, but that takes time. Someone who is new in the faith is going to still make mistakes. And you’ll never be perfect in this lifetime. But, incrementally, you can improve.

But as for this chick, be sure that she isn’t simply using “manners” to mean submission. There are plenty of girls, especially in religious circles, who have been taught that a man should treat them as royalty and bow and scrape before them. Don’t let a girl define manners for you. I’m willing to bet that you already know proper manners and how to apply them. Don’t let a woman’s stated preferences change you. Don’t change for a woman, because she doesn’t understand what she truly wants. If you are going to change, do it for Christ instead.

SorcererKing · 2019-10-24T05:31:09+00:00

RedPilled 3 weeks, redpill aware 3 months.

Are you going to try to tell us you never saw this post?

If you are trying to change your approach to dating, don't you think maybe you should pump the brakes until you actually change your approach? You can keep this girl in orbit for a bit. Do social things with her, flirt, just don't move the ball down the field. Dare I say it: seduce her.

Title	How to communicate self-improvement to a potential partner?
Author	mrpmonk
Upvotes	1
Comments	18
Date	October 23, 2019 4:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askRPC
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/dm1zyn/how_to_communicate_selfimprovement_to_a_potential/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/how-to-communicate-self-improvement-to-a-potential.304611 https://theredarchive.com/post/304611