How to Hide Your Porn

Deep_Strength · 2019-10-06T00:27:56+00:00

There's no one size fits all answer here. Largely, it depends on the spiritual maturity of one or both spouses (whether the husband or the wife has the porn habit or not).

I'd say it's better to have an accountability partner if the wife is immature and has a tendency to hold things over your head. However, it can work fine if she's a model Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3 wife. Same with vice versa with a wife who has a porn/romance novel habit.

It's usually the former than the latter though, which is why a same sex accountability partner is often better (for both sexes). Trust can be built enough for the latter eventually, but both spouses need to be putting God and His Word first.

"I have a struggle with pornography, but I deal with that with an accountability partner and I don't think you need to know anything more than that"

The bolded is also unneeded and unnecessarily confrontational. "I'll keep you updated periodically, if you want to know" is a better statement.

Red-Curious · 2019-10-06T19:02:12+00:00

The RPC way is to stop using porn. Why make excuses? You slip up, just repent and move on.

The advice here isn't to hide anything from your spouse. It's to avoid the internal pressure toward compulsory disclosure. Too many guys assume that there's some biblical command: "Thou shalt tell thine wife all secrets and sins of your life." That command doesn't exist.

If you can get past the internal compulsion toward disclosure, then you can decide logically if you want to tell her or not. When you're 100% in control over your own decisions and not feeling compelled or under pressure, then you can decide for yourself if you want to tell her and what your motive might be for doing so. If you feel like it, do it; if you don't, don't.

The key here is that you're making your own judgment calls and not letting cultural imperatives make you feel like you have to do it. As long as you're acting of your own volition and not external pressure, you're good to do as you please. But most guys will realize that once the pressure is gone, the wiser choice is usually not to say anything.

Title	How to Hide Your Porn
Author	cdnrpc
Upvotes	10
Comments	7
Date	October 5, 2019 10:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askRPC
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/ddu0z6/how_to_hide_your_porn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/how-to-hide-your-porn.304661 https://theredarchive.com/post/304661