TL;ain't reading all that shit Working on living RP values and preaching the truth to other men. Helped my brother fix a frame issue with his ex. Thanks TRP.
See, the thing is, he listened to me about asking for a prenup ages ago, which sent her into psycho-beast mode. "You don't trust me! I can't marry someone who doesn't trust me." So there was no marriage. Small victory because there was a child.
And thankfully my chorus of "don't trust her", cemented by the refusal of the prenup, was enough to save him from the trauma of something similar to the brutal divorce rape I experienced.
In the custody hearing the judge not only awarded primary custody to my brother (HOLY SHIT, it does happen! Like a fucking black swan) but also attached a special note to the case file should they ever end up back in court that she was not a fit mother, had a history of drug abuse and poor choices including staying in a physically abusive relationship with her first husband... (the judge was frickin' psychic, also a man, and a good-ole-boy in the deep south)
And you know what?
She still got child support, and he pays for her car, even though they split time with their child 50/50 and he has primary custody... WTF?"
Yes WTF indeed.
She still tries to fuck with his mind because, well, she is a woman and lost in court. Do you know what kind of cognitive dissonance that causes to self-entitled women who expect their pussy pass to hold up in court?
KABOOM
Hamster on steroids.
As he was telling me this morning that she was giving him some shit about something to do with their daughter and her discipline I went off. I explained loudly and enthusiastically how she would never win in court again with that note attached to the front essentially saying "this drugged out whore should never be in charge of raising the child of this union over her Father".
I explained quickly and succinctly how the courts are weapons against men, yet his story's outcome is actually an EPIC fucking win for a man (sadly).
Then I told him how to handle this morning's bunch of bullshit from his ex. "When our daughter comes home from your house, her discipline is awful and she won't do or listen to anything I say."
Okay, lets deconstruct this a little bit. "comes home from your house" - it is your fault, and furthermore it is the fault of the family and friends you expose her to. Blame shifting. Fuck that.
So what did I tell him. You agree and amplify. Turn that shit around with a dollop of truth and figuratively slap her with the cold reality of it.
You say, "Yes, her discipline has been poor recently, she is 4, but she acts more like your other daughter than she does any child in our family, you need to work on your parenting skills."
BOOM Slap that hamster back into place, put the emphasis where it should be (her poor parenting skills) and defuse what she is trying to build for the next court visit (a history of his poor parenting that is a complete fabrication) that will be coming because she did not get the outcome she expected from the court/casino the first time. It isn't that hard to figure this shit out once you know what you are looking for.
I'm posting this here because I'm still marinating in TRP sidebar wisdom. One day I'll be ready to post to r/TheRedPill, until then, I learn and spread the truth where I can.
I'll post up my experiences as a wedding official (minister, whatever, I marry people, usually for free) who counsels men against marriage. (no free wedding official without counseling). I think I have some interesting observations from that viewpoint, nothing ground breaking, just more reinforcement examples.
There is a reason I call myself an "it" Manager. NOT IT Manager, though I do a shit-ton of IT services where I work. I am an "it" manager. When "it" hits the fan, I get called in to clean "it" up, because I'm the only one with the skill set to figure "it" out. Whatever "it" it is.
This applies to my life also. I manage my shit. I work hard and I pursue my hobbies and interests just as hard, and I have a lot of them, you should too.
Here is a quote to give you something to work with:
"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both." -James Michener
That comes from a time when men were still men.
If there are any veteran RP'ers around that see anything in there that needs critiquing or correcting, please, step up and point it out. I make no claim to perfection.
I'm making progress, thank you TRP for helping me figure out how to communicate like a man with other men. It is helping all of us.
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