So you’re a boring fuck: How to become interesting in 3 Easy Steps [Part 2]

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April 14, 2015

Yesterday, /u/femmefatalle made an excellent point.

You can attract women even if you're the most boring shit out there (by male standards) just by having a teasing, self-amused and a cocky personality.

Part 2 focuses directly on how to become funny, confident, and self-amused, so if your primary goal is to fuck women then focus on this post and ignore Part 1.

This is not a guide on how to fuck women. This is guide on self-improvement. Although throughout this guide I relate the information to picking up women, the main focus is on self-improvement while sexual strategy is secondary. Yes, improving yourself will make you more appealing to women, but if that's your only goal then Part 1 is needlessly complicated and difficult. If you're not following this guide for your own sake, you will fail.

The last post discussed hobbies, interests, and experiences. Together they comprise the CORE of who you are. But with all products, you need to market it and sell it. And make no mistake, when it comes to women you are definitely a product. It’s called the Sexual Market Place for a reason.

Undoubtedly you’ve heard “don’t judge a book by its cover”, but why would you slap an ugly cover on an amazing book? The truth is that people are constantly judging you superficially. It’s not enough to simply have a fit body. You need to dress well and groom yourself. Likewise, it’s not enough to simply have an interesting personality. You need humor, charisma, and eloquence.


“Being funny” might seem like the simplest thing in this post to accomplish, but developing your wit is more daunting than you might think. You can memorize common shit tests and their responses, but true game is an integral part of you. Likewise, even if you have canned jokes at the ready, your wit needs to be organic in order to respond to the chaotic and dynamic nature of conversations.

Being funny isn’t easy. We would hardly compare comedians to doctors and lawyers, but truthfully it takes real intelligence and insight to be funny. You need to have excellent observational skills, analytical abilities, and quickness of thought. You need social acumen to recognize your context and audience and determine the best way to deliver your humor, along with the right vocabulary to convey your meaning both simply and unambiguously. Furthermore, you need to be funny in a way that appeals to women. It’s easy to be a clown, pandering to her for the sake of her amusement. Not only is this disrespectful of yourself, women will instinctually recognize your supplication and be disgusted. Women don’t fuck clowns. Operate with the intention of amusing yourself; never her. The impact of your humor is always lessened when it's delivered for the sole benefit of those around you.

Luckily, humor, like game, can be developed through practice, observation, and education. To improve our game, we read what more experienced men have written on the subject. To improve our wit, we observe our comedic betters. This is primarily done through watching stand-up and television. It seems antithetical to the RP notions of constant improvement, but watching comedy is a great way to be entertained as you improve yourself. The key to doing so is ACTIVE OBSERVATION. You can’t passively sit back and let the media wash over you. You need to engage the material with a critical mind to educate yourself. On a basic level you will be exposed to what is “funny”, but more specifically you observe the nuances of body language, delivery, and comedic timing. This is the most important aspect. Delivery is everything. It is the difference between crushing a shit test and getting a drink thrown in your face. Even the smartest, most clever jokes will fall flat if the delivery is poor.

These are my own specific recommendations. I’m sure other members will have more thoughtful and effective suggestions. Look at popular comedians like Louis CK, John Mulaney, Kyle Kinane, and Hannibal Buress in addition to podcasts and specials from more familiar RP comics like Bill Burr, Joe Rogan, Bryan Callen, and Patrice O’Neal. Some smartly written TV shows include Community, 30 Rock, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Archer. Watch sharp movies like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, In Bruges, Juno, the Cornetto trilogy, and anything by Mel Brooks. The point isn’t to watch what’s “reddest and most Alpha”. You’re watching to become a funnier person, although always be cognizant of the underlying message any media is conveying. Furthermore, DON’T TRY TO PLAY A CHARACTER. I could not emphasize this more. You want to develop your own sense of humor, not emulate someone else’s performance in a stilted, affected, and ultimately shittier way.

When you’re out with a group of people, pay attention to the flow of conversation. Who is making the jokes? What is the subject matter? How are people responding? Here’s a real life example: in yesterday’s post I mentioned trying heroin. I considered this to be a blatantly ridiculous suggestion for the purposes of creating humor, just like I wouldn’t actually recommend talking to girls about taxidermy. But the response from the sub was overwhelmingly negative, and could have easily overtaken the entire post. In the future, if any of you are attempting to be lighthearted on TRP, you now know that references to hard drugs will not be well received. The same logic applies to any other group. Girls at the bar probably won't respond to obscure references. Sexual humor probably won't fly at work.

Observing other people’s conversations will give you a more coherent understanding of the organic nature of real life comedy, versus prepared stand-up and edited television. The humor might be dry and clever or deadpan and sarcastic. It could be lame puns. It could be interpersonal in the form of good-natured ribbing and “giving each other shit”. If that ribbing becomes aggressive and antagonistic, pay attention to how people attack each other. Be aware of how comedians respond to hecklers and take note, especially when others AMOG you. Being funny means that in the moment you are the center of attention, which lends itself to criticism and jealousy from others.

Eventually you will begin recognizing natural setups where you can interject with your own words. Unlike television, you don’t have the luxury of 37 different takes, so it is crucial that you commit to whatever it is you say. No whispered mumbles; speak clearly with confidence and self-assurance. And if your joke falls flat, at least you go down in style.

Your sense of humor and your game/frame are indelibly linked. As you become funnier, your game becomes tighter and your frame becomes rock solid. Agreeing/ amplifying and amused mastery both directly rely on your sense of humor and ability to be funny. Your intelligence and wit are vital to a properly executed pressure flip. And when needed, your observational skills and insight will allow you to deliver exquisitely brutal nuclear shutdowns.


In contrast to being humorous, becoming charismatic is much more straightforward. Improving yourself will improve your SMV, and a subsequent increase in charisma is a natural consequence. A big part of this is due to the HALO EFFECT. Good physical shape, hygiene, personal style will all make you more appealing, and that physical appeal will cause others to view everything about you in a better light. A fat slob and a fit stud could both deliver the same exact line in the same scenario with the same delivery, but one is creep and the other is charming. Humans are a visual species, and you must appeal to our superficiality to be successful.

Apart from physical appearance, the key component of charisma is confidence. The easiest way to demonstrate confidence is to actually be confident. This is why working out and having hobbies are so critical. You could disregard the last post entirely and still be successful with women, but it will be so much easier if you are authentic. Nonetheless, if there is one area where “fake it till you make it” works, it is confidence.

There are many physical aspects to confidence. When you speak, do so clearly and directly. Practice vocal exercises to deepen and strengthen your voice. Make direct eye contact when speaking to others. Develop good posture when walking: back straight, shoulders back, head high, leading with your dick. Controlled stride. When you enter the room you want people to notice. When sitting, especially with girls, be relaxed and expansive. Spread out, get comfortable, and bring others into YOUR space. Don’t alter yourself to accommodate theirs. Emulate the relaxed power and deadly elegance of a lion. This is just another of the many reasons why physical exercise is so important; that natural, animal grace can’t be faked. Your body language reveals much about you: never allow it to be nervous or hesitant. Don’t twitch or fidget. Dance studios have floor length mirrors for a reason. The best way to practice your posture and body language is by looking in the mirror.

Confidence, and therefore charisma, is all about nuance and balance. Be passionate without being emotional. Be assertive in conversations. Never needlessly antagonize others, but always stand your ground. Show intelligence without condescension, and be playful without being childish. Tailor yourself to the situation. While the party is in full swing, be boisterous and exciting. When tensions are high, exude quiet ferocity and command the room. In the intimate moments before dawn, be smooth, seductive, and dominant. When dealing with eligible women, at all times maintain an undercurrent of sexual energy.

Another important aspect is cultivating an aura of mystery. Don't be so quick to divulge information about yourself. Scarcity implies value. When you reveal aspects of yourself slowly and deliberately, those around you will be both intrigued and attentive. But as I mentioned earlier, DON’T TRY TO PLAY A CHARACTER. Don’t try to be Don Draper, Frank Underwood, James Bond, or Walter White. All confident, charismatic men will share certain qualities, but you need to apply those qualities to your own unique persona rather than ape a fictional character.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t take yourself too seriously. It’s just as bad as constant self-deprecation. Don’t forget to be FUN. No one likes a try-hard or buzzkill.


When it comes to good conversation, the simple approach works best. Practice makes perfect. You need to constantly approach and have conversations with other people. People in line, in class, on the street, on the subway, and in the store. Talk to anyone that seems open, not just attractive women. The majority of these people won’t be interested and will give you a curt response, but others will be very amicable and you can practice your conversational skills. Keep it light to start. It’s called small talk for a reason. If they seem bored, learn how to disengage smoothly. If they seem attentive, start branching out into other topics. The whole process is similar to cold approaching, but without the pressure of sexual expectation. Nothing will help you build outcome independence like approaching a dozen different strangers every day. You have conversations for your own benefit, and never feel obligated to remain in one if you're no longer enjoying yourself.

When I was a freshman in college, I was deathly shy. I could have deep conversations with my friends, but I was terrified to approach new people and I would struggle to form a basic connection. If I found myself alone at a party, I would retreat to the corner and stay out of sight. I got over this by literally FORCING myself to talk to as many people as possible whenever I went out. At first I could only do it after drinking, with my inhibitions lowered but my mind slowed. Eventually, I was able to approach sober. The more I did it, the easier it became and the better I got. By the time I graduated, I could walk into a house full of strangers and leave as everyone’s new best friend. The more you talk to people, the more you can get them to open up and engage with you. Recognize the difference between awkward pauses and the natural ebb and flow of conversation. Learn how to minimize the awkward pauses while comfortably enjoying the organic silences. This is also great for diffusing tense situations.

The mark of a great conversation is that it flows. It’s effortless. You find a genuine connection with another person and the words flow naturally. With practice, you no longer have to rely on meeting “the right person” that you “just vibe with”. You can forge a connection with anyone who is relatively friendly and intelligent. Humor and charisma are vital because they make other people more comfortable around you. It’s so much easier to talk to people when they want to talk to you. The last post mentioned experiences, but what good are they if you can't share them? Great storytellers are those who can share insightful observations in a humorous and appealing way. Use concise but descriptive language, and always keep things relatable to your audience.

The third and final post in this series will discuss IN DEPTH on how to make new friends, expand your social circle, and surround yourself with quality people who add value to your life.

EDIT: Added links

Post Information
Title So you’re a boring fuck: How to become interesting in 3 Easy Steps [Part 2]
Author needless_pickup_line
Upvotes 817
Comments 98
Date 14 April 2015 02:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]qwertthrowaway 94 points94 points [recovered] | Copy

For anyone who wants to listen to this instead of read it, I read the post aloud, you can download it here.

I do this sometimes to practice my voice. This post took 15 minutes to read, I made some mistakes (I'm not a native English speaker, so I never even heard of some words) and was better in some parts than others, but I still think it turned out okay :)

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz42 points43 points  (12 children) | Copy

How dope would it be if we did this with the All-in-One Red Pill 101 posts and made it a YouTube channel or something?

[–]qwertthrowaway 90 points90 points [recovered] | Copy

Haha you're like one of my girls, she always says "we" and means "you".

I'd certainly be up to do some of it, however I really don't like to deal with the logistics of it.

If I read something anyway it's easy and quick to just record and upload it.

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz38 points39 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ha. Good one.

I say "we" because I know there are a great many RP guys out there who are much better equipped to do this sort of thing than myself. You, for instance.

[–]moresmarterthanyou24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can see the wit and charm already growing around here

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

My roommate has a microphone. The dream lives. Do you guys want to get a group together via pms? We could do the entire sidebar. Aw snap.

OMG like what if we totes did this! I would totally use my voice! We could like....definitely do this. /SillyWhiteGirlVoice

[–][deleted] -4 points-4 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]hiphoprising0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can record as well if necessary.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need the right voice. He would need to be elected. Anyone got Morgan Freeman's number?

[–]_the_shape_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Merica9112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or a daily pod cast from patreon.. I would most definitely donate $1 a month for!

[–]DownvoteDaemon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of this basic social sense

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You couldn't just put it on YouTube? I can't make heads or tails of that website.

[–]qwertthrowaway 9 points9 points [recovered] | Copy

I don't want to link TRP to my username and I was too lazy to make another Google account.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks, it's strange but I clicked that play button the first time on my phone and it sent me to a Russian mail order bride site. Worked this time though. Cheers.

[–]1xwm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey, your phone is only trying to help a bro out.

[–]Kiwikeeper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ahaha you are a genius! Great idea!

[–]baronunread2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your english is actually pretty sweet dude, but does recording yourself reading something actually help you? I've always just talked to the mirror, or talked out loud to myself.

[–]anti_erection_man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh don't you worry, you sound amazing, thanks for the audio file and awesome job!

[–]Merica9110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can you do this once a day?!

[–]errrzarrr 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Good work. Where do you read how to have a professional voice?

[–]qwertthrowaway 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I'm actually a little uncomfortable with this kind of positive response. I always thought that my voice sucked (a negative belief often reinforced by my parents). But thank you :D

I didn't do or read anything special. The only thing I did was to (in my bluest bluepill-relationship) read my favorite book trilogy to my ex.

I really, really loved doing that. I love books and especially that story, and I tried to give my best to give my ex a good experience. That's how I became good at reading, I guess.

[–]1xwm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm actually a little uncomfortable with this kind of positive response. I always thought that my voice sucked (a negative belief often reinforced by my ex

I changed one word in this and it applies to me as well. I stopped singing for YEARS because I was ashamed only to find out that most people think I'm at least halfway decent.

[–]flyingwolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate this.

I work online and have to do a lot of reading, as such I don't have the time to read long posts like this and while I keep them open for late night reading I routinely never get to them.

But with this, I can keep the audio on while I work and get shit done.

This is appreciated, greatly.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like an alternate version of Stefan Molyneux lol. You speak well!

[–]CornyHoosier20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm gonna drop an odd bit of knowledge I picked up, but I've found it to be helpful.

Several years ago I got into reading "old" literature and had a particular fascination with Arthur Conan Doyle's 'Sherlock Holmes'. I'm sure that most everyone here is at least familiar with the famous, fictional detective. However, what I loved most about him was that he would make these grand assumptions that he would then compound upon and after some additional thought would start to have a clear depiction of an individual or situation.

So for fun I started doing that when I went out ...

I would go to a bar, grab a drink and sit off to the side somewhere that I could get a good vantage point of the room and study people. The key is to not make up information about a person but to collect the data you have about them to try and make a clear picture. What kind of clothes/accessories are they wearing, how are they sitting/standing, what facial features are they displaying, do they have any ticks, what are they focusing on, what is the age/race/sex makeup of the group or person they are with, what are they drinking/eating, so on and so forth.

Over time I noticed that my ability to tell more about a person or group began to grow. What used to take me awhile to decipher was suddenly something I could pick up within a few glances. Interestingly enough, it has become a running gag amongst my friends where they point at someone and I would attempt to tell them about the person.

I found that this skill has reaped a lot of unintended positive outcomes. My job interviewing ability is great now, I can seemingly strike up a conversation with anyone and can generally tell how someone in feeling at any given time. Human observation is an incredibly powerful tool to have at ones disposal.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of the best abilities you could possibly have. I'm in sales, and it takes me (I have?) about 20 seconds of small talk to make an educated generalization with which to operate on: expression (didn't smile), (no) watch, (great) shoes, (authoritative) voice, (self-important) language

We were making fun of a friend the other day, and doing impressions of him. I went pretty deep:

  • The way holds he holds his glass when he's having fun vs when he isn't.
  • The different voice tonalities when he talks to different girls in his life
  • his only 3 dance moves
  • Sounds that he makes chewing, sneezing and the sound of him walking (he doesn't drag his feet, more like scrapes them).
  • Overused expressions and kinda dick language
  • Things he says when he's insecure

Anyways, it started with laughs, and then everyone realized that I pay attention to everything. Whoops.

[–]Doperession43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

iI yesterday’s post I mentioned trying heroin. I considered this to be a blatantly ridiculous suggestion for the purposes of creating humor, just like I wouldn’t actually recommend talking to girls about taxidermy. But the response from the sub was overwhelmingly negative, and could have easily overtaken the entire post. In the future, if any of you are attempting to be lighthearted on TRP, you now know that references to hard drugs will not be well received.

This is prime advice right here, learning to pre-empt and prod at peoples reactions from experience. I've had to personally learn it through failing a lot, not something you can simply read about.

The application of it also goes beyond humor and you can use it in business as one example and many other things.

Love the way you managed to embed it in using TRP itself as the example

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (2 children) | Copy

Great post, once again.

I'll add some small tips to go along with your points.

For humor, read books, because when you read you have to activate your own imagination in order to visualize what's happening. That wires your brain differently and helps to enhance your own sense of humor in a way that passively watching something does not. You can search for humorous books that fit your own tastes, but to start with I would suggest the authors P.G. Wodehouse and Douglas Adams.

For charisma, I'll mention something that is never talked about here. The best leaders actually like people. TRP focuses more on manipulation than genuine liking of others, but truly liking other people is known to be a characteristic of the best leaders. Think of others from time to time; they'll pick up on it and you'll be viewed more favorably.

As for conversation, there are a couple of things you can do to become better at this. The easiest one is to express interest in them by prompting them to open up about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. Give them this opportunity by asking questions. But you have to do it right. Too many questions makes for a feeling of being interrogated. Ask a question, ask a related question that allows them to expand on their previous answer, then provide personal feedback by replying with something from your own views or experiences that relates to their answer, then ask a question that allows them to further align their experience with yours, and so on. For example, you ask something about what they like to do and if they answer that they love travel, you can ask where they have been. When they answer that, you find something in their answer that overlaps with your own views and experiences and relate those back to them.

If you're really shy about conversing with people, join a Toastmasters. It's a very useful skill to be able to address a room or a group of people with complete comfort. This skill is good for both business and personal life.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree great leaders like people. Even other guys. One thing I have noticed with supposed "smooth pua" self believed types is they get very dismissive (body language & conversationally) when other men engage in conversation... Especially around their women & the guys are alpha. Super weak behavior. Most alphas are not trying to amog you for your girl. You either have a loyal girl or you don't. Real strong men know their women are not going anyplace, plus are actually interested to have fun & engage with others in the environment. A very weak person is dismissive because they are worried about ego protection.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alpha men enjoy a challenge they feel reasonably confident they can win. No one likes to lose, because it drops your testosterone and serotonin, but beta guys are more fearful of challenges in general — most likely because of low T to start with.

[–]Ashwang8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

A good example of the HALO effect is shown here:

Vimeo link from the US Office!

(starts at 40 secs and is about the KGB joke)

Although it is somewhat over-exemplified due to it being a light-hearted sitcom, it can be seen as Dwight (first performing the KGB joke) is shut down due to the HALO effect working against him, as he is known as the office suck-up. Also his judgement of the situation and general delivery is off-point.

Whereas Jim - the second performing the KGB joke - reacts to the situation and remoulds the joke to impress the boss, and ultimately through HALO effects and solid delivery performs much better.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (15 children) | Copy

Thanks a lot for your great posts. The first comment, BE FUNNY, is my sticking point.

I do boring, rational conversations with zero witty remarks and thus i am usually not very likeable. From my understanding, if you want to convey your point across guys, only lets say a 80% of the conversation can be rational and the rest about 20% should be emotional (including making jokes, negging, funny/witty remarks etc). With women i believe the rational percentage of the conversation should be much much lower.

To improve, i've read Mel Helitzer's Comedy Writing Secrets to understand the structure of comedy (surprise causes laughter) and i started watching stand-up but i cannot say that i became funnier so far. I am in a conversation, i understand that i speak more rational/serious than i should, i think "ok now lets tone down the conversation" but i still cannot think of anything witty to say.

Any concrete tips/advice on this?

[–]needless_pickup_line[S] 11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

You're absolutely right about the ratio of rational to emotional. The appropriate ratio changes constantly depending on context. If you and I are on a rooftop having a heart-to-heart discussion at 2am, our conversation would be very substantial. Maybe 90% serious and 10% humorous. Compare that to us playing a drinking game with some girls. In that case I would argue the proportions get flipped, with 90% being humorous and 10% serious. Just barely enough logic and rationality to add weight to the jokes so they're not pure fluff.

Of course, it's not some math formula you need to be constantly calculating. It's a natural intuition you develop through experience. Surprise causes laughter. This is what I meant in the post when I discussed recognizing openings. In any conversation there will be an opening for you to speak, and rather than speaking seriously you respond unexpectedly. So for example let's say you're talking to someone and then say something too serious and intense. This creates awkwardness because you are discussing a topic inappropriate to the context of either the conversation or your relationship with the other person.

A way to move past it would be to address it directly in a humorous way. Give a super exaggerated and drawn out "Annyyywwaaayy, we should probably talk about something less economics...or childhood trauma". Then laugh and change the subject. I can't really convey the right delivery over text but if done correctly it would draw a laugh and ease the tension, for a variety of reasons.

First and foremost, you demonstrate recognition of your social faux pas. You're not some clueless weirdo, you simply made a mistake. This reassures the other person that you're still fun and safe to talk to.

More importantly, as you said earlier the structure of comedy is in surprise and subverting expectations. People generally do not like to acknowledge awkwardness or mistakes, so the fact that you would call yourself out is both bold and unexpected. The surprise creates humor.

Similarly, the expectation is that you would suggest a less serious topic. Instead you suggest something even more awkward and uncomfortable, like childhood trauma. Those things in and of themselves are of course terrible, but it's that subversion of expectations that is funny.

And then finally, you wrap it up by actually changing the subject to something relatable to your conversation partner. Their outfit, their choice of drink, mutual friends, whatever. This puts the awkwardness even more fully behind you and builds rapport, further easing the tension and improving their opinion of you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Thanks a lot for your time to respond. I understand this but i am still struggling to use wittyness in a normal conversation.

Lets assume that i am speaking with the guys in the gym about diet. I will go on to exchange information with them for 1,2,5 minutes: "keto diet is helping a lot in losing fat", "your macros should be 5%, 35% and 60%", "you can lose up to 2-3 kgs per month" etc, but although i want to contribute to the conversation and give value, i will not gain recognition in return, i will come up as the boring, "intellect" person and usually my message will not be conveyed to them. And then some other guy can come up, not give ANY value, but make some word play or some unexpected connection and suddenly become the center of attention. I really don't know how to overcome this.

Also lets assume that you watch Bill Burr, and a hour long stand-up of his about how he hates small airplanes because they are used by the airlines to train the inexperienced pilots, because what is the worst that can happen if they fuck up? only a few lives will be lost. Apart from memorizing the joke to tell it in a conversation with worst delivery than Bill Burr and without remembering all the small, important details that in reality make the joke, how the fuck can you use the intuition you gained from that stand-up in a conversation about diets in the gym?

[–]needless_pickup_line[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ok, I see what your problem is. It's not about mixing and matching different pieces of stand-up to different scenarios.

With Bill Burr piece, don't focus so much on the joke itself. Focus on how he turns a basic observation ("inexperienced pilots are usually entrusted with smaller planes") and presents it in a humorous way. Notice how he exaggerates certain aspects while downplaying others. Learn from the tone of his voice and pay attention to when he is loud vs quiet, fast vs slow. Watch how he takes something as terrible as plane crashes and makes it into something funny and relatable.

Then, with that understanding of how to present comedy, you can apply that delivery to the other conversation. In the gym and locker room, you have a more masculine culture that lends itself to masculine humor. This is usually insult comedy. You don't attack your friends, but you tease them lightly in good spirits. You also acknowledge your own shortcomings.

Start with a basic observation. If your friends aren't in amazing shape but is talking about ketogenic diets and macros, you can tease him for having a very professional talk but an average body. You call him out, just like Bill Burr calls out greedy airlines and shitty pilots. Then, taking what you learned from Bill Burr and other comedians, you present that observation in a humorous and light-hearted way. When they tease you back for being short or ugly or whatever else, you laugh and roll with it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you, now it makes a lot more sense. I will do the following and i will update accordingly:

  • Keep notes from selective jokes of stand-up
  • Try to understand their presentation
  • Select a joke and rehearse it
  • Deliver it as is, canned, to friends and measure its reception
  • Based on the reception, adjust its delivery and deliver to more friends
  • Now adapt the format and apply it on the fly to a basic observation done during normal conversation
  • Rinse and repeat

I am putting this as note to self:

Basic observation: "inexperienced pilots are usually entrusted with smaller planes"

Delivery method and body language: (slow, fast, serious, laughing, fast, slow, addressing to the audience, tone)

Why the joke works: (Surprise, misdirection, superiority, play on words)

By the way, isn't it strange that certain things exist that some people find a piece of cake to apply/master based on their past experiences/tendencies and other people grasp just to understand their basic structure?

[–]note-to-self-bot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just in case you forgot:

Basic observation: "inexperienced pilots are usually entrusted with smaller planes"

Delivery method and body language: (slow, fast, serious, laughing, fast, slow, addressing to the audience, tone)

Why the joke works: (Surprise, misdirection, superiority, play on words)

[–]SlickThroatButter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By the way, isn't it strange that certain things exist that some people find a piece of cake to apply/master based on their past experiences/tendencies and other people grasp just to understand their basic structure?

Not at all. Brains are wired differently from person to person.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience, general knowledge helps. If you know many things, then there are many connections from one topic to another ones. This helps creating surprises because you have more topics to choose than others. Wordplays can come from books. You pulled the airplane joke from Bill but he has a large pool of diets and gym jokes in his podcast and older specials. Working out and diet comes up in nearly every of his podcasts.

By the way, Bill Burr had many occasions to put perfection into his jokes. His Specials are the epidome of a year or more of practicing timing, eliminating bad jokes and get new ones. Don't put to much pressure on it.

[–]SlickThroatButter2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Humor involves a lot of basic tenants (wit, surprise, delivery, audience, etc).

From here it looks like you are tackling the problem from the top down. This is incorrect. You should seek to build your foundations first.

Let's start with wit. A big part of wit is making mental connections, often in surprising ways. A reason that humor is so effective in social situations is that you are literally making other people think certain thoughts and elict certain responses. If you master this, it can almost be a form of mind control.

So, mental connections. Building this is easy. You take a subject, then think up a creative connection. Your goal is to go as far away as you can but still be related to the subject.

Example: socks. BAD / BORING: wool socks GOOD: sock puppets.

Example: lights turned off unexpectedly BAD: oh no! GOOD: Hey Tom, you forgot to pay your electric bill BETTER: "It's less dangerous!" (reference to popular nirvana song)

My task for you is to focus on mental connections. Here's a couple for you to get started. This will allow you to strengthen your organic wit and make up stuff on the spot, rather than memorizing stand up routines.

1) Your buddy "is tired"

2) packaging peanuts

3) a spoon

4) dog barking

5) yellow

6) people getting fired at work

7) fat squirrel

8) a fire axe

9) stairs

10) some guy tells you to go fuck yourself

If you suck at these, you can always read a lot of books.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You cannot imagine how much i appreciate the effort that you put in this post.

Of course i am looking nervously at the list right now and i cannot come up with any connection on the fly (hint: it appears that i am completely lacking wit) but i will post a complete response this afternoon and it will be great if you could rate them and then provide better/alternative responses

[–]SlickThroatButter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I absolutely will.

Please remember, the connection doesn't have to be "funny". Just unique. It's to help you build a foundation for actually finding connections that are relevant to your social situation. From there you can focus on making it funny.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Oh my god, the task is f*** difficult.

I am looking at the list for a long time and for most items i cannot even think of connections, let alone interesting ones and on the spot (just 10 cm to the right).

I guess though that this is a muscle ability and with adequate training you can come up with better connections in a shorter duration of time.

This is what i could come up with:

1) Your buddy "is tired" - "wild night yesterday?"

2) packaging peanuts - peanut butter

3) a spoon - ?? (i was trying to think something related to spooning)

4) dog barking - who let the dog out? (very cheesy)

5) yellow - yellow fever (also very cheesy)

6) people getting fired at work - an extinguisher would come handy here

7) fat squirrel - ??

8) a fire axe - ??

9) stairs - ??

10) some guy tells you to go fuck yourself - I've tried it already, not possible. Imagine the surprise of my cat saw me trying and lick my balls

edit: I really liked the pun by /u/Black-Pill/ on the Meat Market Economics post:

While I normally like my steak "Medium Rare" I have to say that your steak post is " Well Done".

[–]SlickThroatButter0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

These are actually good answers. You'll need to keep doing this until you can think of stuff on the spot.

You've actually got the same answers I did for numbers 3,4,5. I'll give those more detail:

3) "wanna spoon?" to pretty girl in line for food. (Best response I've gotten was, "no, but I wanna fork")

5) Pretty Asian girl in a yellow dress?" I got some yellow fever"

Your response for number 6 was actually good and took me by surprise. My response was "it's like being in the communist party after Lenin died". Yours is better because no one would get mine.

As for stairs? They're always up to something.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nice ones. So how do you recommend to proceed? I can try to repeat the exercise with lets say 10 words per day from a word generator but shouldn't someone see what i come up with and provide feedback? Also assuming that i actually get good at this, what is the next step?

I am also just dropping here two witty quotes that i stumbled upon and i find fucking genius:

On days like this, I wish I could just sit in the park and play chess with old men. Finding 32 of them is tough though.


Just been reading how one home security company only employs attractive engineers. It was pretty alarming.

[–]SlickThroatButter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hell, I wouldn't do just ten a day. Do as many as you can in short 5 minute bursts. It'll mimic the time frame of an average conversation, and you'll be able to "score" yourself on how many you can do in that time period. Using a random word generator is a good start. If you want feedback, I'd be happy to provide it. Based on your previous answers, you are on the right track, so chances are you won't need feedback. Just practice. It's like learning to dribble a basketball. You don't really need a coach watching you dribble, you just need to put in the practice.

As for the next step, start using analogies to explain things. Analogies are amazing and can often be humorous. The basketball analogy I used above is a good example.

[–]showeidek1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I discovered that i'm fun as hell two years ago, just talking what I think without giving a fuck. With my friends here in Brazil is 80% jokes and 20% rational, really. But we can talk about logical subjects when we want.

[–]_the_shape_14 points15 points  (9 children) | Copy

On the final point, "conversation" - if you live in a small city, strongly consider either moving to a much bigger city or, at the very least, getting some sort of job (ex. attorney, waiter, sales, bar tender) where you are forced to interact with people.

[–]LoveOfThreeLemons25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

(ex. attorney, waiter, sales, bar tender)

One of those is not like the others...

[–]NAmember8121 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was trying to get a sweet job at Red Lobster as a waiter but had to become a power attorney instead. It's pretty cool.

[–]Ramacher5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Instead of working those jobs you can use people in service industry (retail, bartenders, waiters etc) as "paid" conversationalists. Their jobs require them to be nice, cordial and 99% chance they will carry a conversation with you.

[–]_the_shape_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That works quite well too, yes

[–]RedPope 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy

A customer talks to one server. The server talks to 40+ customers per shift.

If you're young, waiting tables isn't a bad part-time/summer job. It ain't a cure all, but it will expand your comfort zone. I worked a few months at a shitty chain restaurant. I didn't magically turn into a extrovert, but I did improve.

I remember watching the really good servers. While I was struggling to talk to customers about the weather, they had people opening up about their personal lives. They had positive energy, strong body language, and projected confidence.

They were all also sexually attractive, without exception. None were models or bodybuilders, but they were all above-average. If you want to attract people, you cannot neglect the physical. You must become attractive.

[–]RedHeimdall0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I was a waiter for a long time and I was great at it. I knew the food and beverages, could make good suggestions, got the orders in quick, the food out fast, anticipated people's needs so they would have the thing they wanted before even having to ask, etc. I was an awesome waiter for a customer like me, somebody who wants competency and efficiency.

But there were always smooth-talking motherfuckers making more money than I did, every place I worked. They were slower and less knowledgeable about the menu, but they were good at making smalltalk and schmoozing. Know your audience.

[–]monsterhunter32 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

I second this, I took a very stressful job working with the public, because I knew it would help me with my severe social anxiety. I haven't been cured yet but I get better everyday.

[–]Heizenbrg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

funny how it's a skill.
Used to be a barista, stopped. Now I talk like shit.
Like my dad told me, you need to get out of the house and stop talking to yourself.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great posts. These should be required reading. Theory is great but you also give good, practical examples. Good work.

[–]thisisjacobc9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

These ought to be on the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude thanks a lot for this! Being the 'funny guy' is a big sticking point for me and i will follow your advice for sure!

But i have been facing this problem for a while: Laughing at your own jokes before somebody else does; and also it's like when sometimes people do laugh at my jokes i feel great-like I'm being 'validated' and shit and i look like a try-hard too. It's wrong and i just wanted to address this-how do i correct this issue?

[–]baronunread0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't give a fuck about what others think. If you think that something is truly funny for you, then fucking say it. Unless you have a weird sense of humour it will make other people laugh. But remember that they're laughing WITH you, because you are funny. If they won't laugh, no big deal, shit happens. Don't make that get inside you and keep being funny and awesome. If you really want to be funny, then remember that the more unexpected a thing is, the more funny it will be, but don't try to overdo yourself, you don't have to be a clown. But as OP said, read/watch shit, that's going to help a lot.

[–]RPmatrix2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

you forgot one thing ... learn to smile sincerely, from the heart

and it's best to accept compliments gracefully, and give them rarely

[–]Chlue1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Do you know any good voice projection program to practice it?

[–]needless_pickup_line[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]FallenHighSchoolJock-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who? Oh right that bro science guy.

[–]ubiety 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

This will sound stupid / obvious, but you besides the tips and techniques you could find on YouTube and from professionals, all you really have to do is speak much louder than you normally do.

I'm was habitual mumbler, it got to the point where people constantly said "what" after I spoke. About a year ago I took on a leadership responsibility that required me to speak in front of groups. This forced me to speak louder, but for good reason. At first you need to be conscious of your volume level, but after keeping your volume consistent for an X amount of time it becomes engrained in your memory. You're quiet or speak unconfidently because you've had no reason to speak loudly, or maybe have no experience leading a group in a manner that requires other people to take you seriously.

Regardless of the reason, you MUST always speak using a volume appropriate for the occasion, just like being socially competent, you need to develop your "vocal competency", which is simply understanding what tone, inclination and volume to use given a particular context. When in doubt, speak louder than you feel is normal / comfortable, doing so draws attention to yourself and helps improve your confidence aurora. Confident people are loud, this doesn't mean they need yo talk a lot, but it does imply that they know how to speak given a specific situation.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Learn how to minimize the awkward pauses while comfortably enjoying the organic silences. This is also great for diffusing tense situations.

I've always had problems with "diffusing tense situations". Basically I dont know what to do. If I'm serious with a person, it becommes even more tense. If I smile, I make this unnatural smile and it seems like I'm being sarcastic to them.

[–]godiebiel4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent everything, but one thing OP forgot


this can be applied to anything in life, from women to jobs. Just don't give a fuck, always have a second plan (even if it's winning the lottery).

[–]Endorsed Contributorbicepsblastingstud0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Solid post. I agreed with some criticism of the last one (to wit, that an interesting life means nothing if your communication skills suck) but this follow-up tied things together nicely.

Good work.

[–]Black-Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think that all you have been saying in both posts so far is right on point. Developing yourself across the entire realm of your personality is essential to creating your complete masculine self without the qualification of women; fully armored and immune to the Feminist Imperative. These are the crucial steps that help create deep, lifelong Frame and Game.

[–]RPthrowaway1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

These posts are really helpful, especially the social stuff. Sometimes I need a specific thing to work on, these are perfect for that!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

About being funny, rememeber to never try to be recognised as funny. When im thinking about what to say or even how to be more funnier i just lost sense and become awkward. Let magic happen, dont try to summon it

[–]Los_olvidados0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is gold my friend. Much appreciate it!

[–]Brakid0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm generally fine conversing with people one on one or in a smaller group, though I find that in larger groups I get talked over a lot (especially in a more heated debate, eg. at a work meeting).

Thinking back on instances of this occurring makes me think that I shouldn't be "polite" and let the person finish speaking. Every time I let someone finish, someone else butts in and I can't get a word in edge wise.

Any advice on this?

[–]Irinir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea. I would call them on it.

[–]kazaul0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Possible ideas for meetings:

  • establish your position beforehand
  • just keep talking (can be rude)
  • demand you be allowed to finished (politely)
  • pick points you know no one will counter you on

I'm no expert; hell I'm bad in groups of more than 3 people and prefer to single out people in social circles. But practice will make perfect. It also helps if you really WANT to be heard and can back it up with a, damn it, fucking LISTEN to me mentality (preferably not said aloud).

[–]sidjo860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What an thought provoking read. I will take something away from this.

[–]Betterthanuatlife0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Humor I already have. Charisma is something I am on a good way of getting. Conversation? Making small talk with random strangers sounds like such a creep thing to do.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]Betterthanuatlife0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So you should start talking to someone you've been eye-stalking for a while? That makes it seem even creepier xD. Nah but I get starting to make random chit chat with chicks (and people in general) who you bump into by accident. Let's say for example that you accidentally stumble in to someone. Then to make it less awkward you start talking to them and maybe soon become friends with them. Sure that would work. But to just randomly walk up to a person you don't even know and then just start chatting with them? Sounds a bit serial killer-esque in nature.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Goddamn I love your posts. No bullshit just advice. Saved both posts.

[–]Otah_Machi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you write a blog or for any websites? If you don't, why not?

[–]armallthebears0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You want attractive people, be attractive. Want a fit girl, get fit. Want people to find you interesting, find people that are interested in what you are interested in. Or get rich and everyone will pretend you are hot and interesting.

[–]1xwm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


For improving your wit and humor, Robin Williams' standup is great.

A good smart movie that goes along with your list is Ocean's 11 (Personally I liked the remake). Movies with quick witted banter are among my favorite movies to listen to.

And if your joke falls flat, at least you go down in style.

As long as I laugh, I consider it a successful joke. If everyone else groans, hey, that's on them. I'm having fun.

[–]Sunshinelorrypop0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy


Could you edit in all the parts in your initial post so I don't miss any.


[–]needless_pickup_line[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's too big to all fit together. Just look at my submitted posts.

[–]Sunshinelorrypop1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wasn't clear enough. I just want a hyperlink to them on the first part.

[–]Chinny4daWinny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're going to be the reason I'll have kick ass college years. I thank you for this

[–]sorrysylvester-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there a sub-subreddit of TRP for people who aren't completely fucking delusional? Y'all are pathetic.

[–]SamTheDude16-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, these posts are fucking awesome

[–][deleted] -5 points-5 points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol, look at this SJW/Feminist cunt. Go back to /r/againstmensrights you fucking fuckboy twat.

[–][deleted] -2 points-2 points | Copy

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You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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