We all know dread game is effective on girls. In my experience just the right amount of dread is appropriate. Too much and she'll walk, too little and she'll call your bluff.

As an aside, I really hate dread game. In fact I hate that I have to play a game in the first place. But women start it in my opinion. "I don't wanna blow you anymore"... Whatever. Say, X is really hot, I might meet her for coffee sometime. And so on.

But it works just as well professionally.

For the last three years I've led a technical engineering team. I've had a good mix of engineering and project leadership experiences. I've worked some great projects and been able to pick and choose the best from the pool of techs available (including, shock, one girl).

But I felt an itch and wanted to move on. I applied for a few roles. Nope, not through my network of mates, just cold approaches. I never did find that apparent "old boy's club" where you get each other jobs and high paying ones at that. To me it doesn't exist.

So I applied for a few but I knew one in particular that I wanted. Without being identified, I wanted a technical department head role in a top tier company. I got it. My salary has nearly doubled, I get to move to an awesome city and I even have a relocation budget thrown into the mix.

So how did I do it?

I applied for and interviewed for two roles. One I wanted, one I didn't care. So I have two companies on the hook, A and B. A are the guys I want, B are the guys I knew I would get but no intention on committing to. Sound familiar? Keeping up? Good.

So during Company A's initial interview, they asked if I had anything else on the go as is generally the norm. I simply said that I only really started looking when I met someone from Company B (a rival) at a conference and they seemed interested.

Now most companies, especially when you're talking £60-70k per year salaries, most certainly do double round interviews. Now the thing is, the other role I applied for I had no intention on taking. Even if I got it. It was basically a total sideways step from where I am now. But it is important for one very particular reason which I will get onto. But suffice to say, for this other role I was already overqualified and went in asking for the highest rate they would offer.

My recruiter calls back on behalf of Company A. They want to schedule their final interviews. My tip - always reject the first date they ask for. I simply said, "Sorry I'm already committed to that date. How is (some date after)?" The trick is not to say "I'm interviewing for someone else", the trick is to let them wonder what you're up to. Avoid the question if asked directly. Remember the recruiter is a salesman and a bigger cock than you are. If need be, make it obvious you're lying when you say "Oh just a bit of DIY, what have you".

So. Comany A came back with another date and the agent said, "I just need to reiterate that Company A are very keen on you and can you keep me informed into any developments you may have in the pipeline". Of course! No worries. (Worried much?)

So the date approaches. By now I had an offer from Company B. I gave it 24 hours before responding that the salary was lower than expected and the benefits offered (I used vacation days) were lower than where I am now. Within an hour, I had both salary and vacation days on the offer increased dramatically.

Just where I want them!

I went off for Company A's final interview. The trick is not to let on that you can't wait to start and that you're counting you're lucky stars you made it to the final interview. You relax, be chilled out and do not look nervous. The guy interviewing me even said, "You seem amazingly relaxed. How do you do it?"

Well, final interviews done and dusted. Time to put an extra nugget of information to good use.

The recruitment agent called me to get my feedback. I said of course, I'm interested and that I had an offer from Company B. Bear in mind, I had not mentioned Company B at all to the agent!

Now one thing about the UK (and I have worked in recruitment before) is that recruiters talk! They absolutely do! They trade roles, try and get CVs (which are gold dust) and all the rest. They do talk. Sometimes about clients, sometimes about bothersome candidates.

So I said to my agent, "Yep, definitely interested in Company A. I actually had an offer from Company B this morning. It seems comparable to Company A, but I'm listening and weighing up options..." No commitment, but there's still a chance Company A may lose out!

It took a day or so for the bush telegraph to do its thing. If I didn't know better, my betting is that the agent did some digging at Company B, fished out who was representing them and did a little homework. But what I do know about agents is that they don't kiss and tell before a deal is done. There may be a deal on the table but as I have signed nothing, there is no way the agent will divulge what it is to another agent. They just don't do it. To do so would endanger their deal if someone else came in and said, "I got a guy who will do it for five grand less..."

As a point to note, if you piss off one recruitment consultant badly enough, you may find you get a reputation. It does happen in extreme cases and good luck getting employed. But that's just an aside.

So, Company A's agent finally comes back. They make an offer. And... I say no. I use the same tactic. "Well, Company B's offer is actually very comparable. I need to think it over..."

The next morning, Company A are back. They go over the job description budget and more than match vacation days. They've obviously done the worrying and the fearing, they've pulled out the stops for a last ditch attempt at securing me.

With that, I start end of the month and I get to hire new staff to nearly triple the size of the current team.

The big truth is, I really didn't care about Company B. I wanted Company A. Company B's offer wasn't even comparable or even similar. In fact, given my skillset, they were wasting their time even offering.

Company A are actually really good to work for and I am damned lucky to have gotten there. And the position is pretty cool too! But you have to make them appreciate you first and foremost. I've interacted with a lot of people from Company A and B before from my present role, so it's not like I'm a stranger. It's not really an old boy's network, I was more their customer in my present role. But at least names were known.

Added to that, by creating mystery you create fear. When you do that, when a company really actually wants you and your skillset, that's what gets you the £10k above what they were originally offering.

Don't divulge every single piece of information about your "alternative" to your prospective main. If you lay it all out on the table, you're suddenly not attractive. What makes your main fight for you is the not knowing. If Company A knew that Company B's offer was downright pathetic in terms of what my experience and knowledge commands on the market, they would have laughed at me and offered me rank bottom bargain basement.

Similar with women. If your girl doesn't want to suck you off anymore, fine. Just let the question of can you get yourself sucked off elsewhere then will you? And who with? If you're suddenly spending a lot of time talking to some other girl but not divulging anything, you can bet your ass her lips will be sucking down quicker than a horse with an apple. If you let on that you're just sending snaps of your stupid head with some goofy messages and nothing else, your dick will be drier than a martini.

If you try this then remember. You need Company B in the picture in the first place. Company A needed to at least know that there was a contender, a direct rival.

The world loves a bastard!