"If a man asks himself 'how can I get this girl' it is already over." CMV

smoke_mardeljano · 2020-01-24T04:29:59+00:00

a lot of people will spew nonsense about how you should 'let girls chase you', which makes absolutely no sense unless you're on the same looks level of a male model, where women will go out of their way to approach you seeing that you're the apex of attractiveness.

this can really only apply to low value males. 'trying' as a low value male nowadays never really gets you anywhere.

FatmanSlim93 · 2020-01-24T04:39:18+00:00

I’d bet that most dudes here would be happier not trying at all.

EggonTurdaryen · 2020-01-24T10:27:49+00:00

Women approach first if they find you attractive enough. If you need to negotiate attraction and convince her to like you, you're already lost. It's over.

superincongruent · 2020-01-24T07:06:26+00:00

I think OP maybe means "how can I get out of the friendzone?" and yeah then its over.

But men are always strategizing how to meet certain women or get noticed by them as a romantic prospect, and sometimes they are successful. So in the way you phrased this, you are 200% wrong.

jacemano · 2020-01-24T14:13:28+00:00

What nonsense.

I ask how can I get this girl all the time. And then action it... do I walk up and go hi? Do I go up to all her friends and then ignore her till she get's pissy..... can I be bothered to text back. These are all things that take some thought

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-24T03:18:12+00:00

If you don’t even try then you’ll never get any girl. They don’t just grow on trees or knock on your door naked with a six pack not knowing who the fuck you are.

Pola_Lita · 2020-01-24T04:33:30+00:00

This sounds more like superstition than cause and effect. Having a plan is always the best way to achieve a goal.

C0mpL1c1t · 2020-01-24T03:21:18+00:00

The anecdotal data set of my life is largely one of a dude asking me out, kissing me, etc. I think in at least a few of these cases, the guy was making a concerted effort to/for my interest. So, my life’s experiences refute your hypothesis.

blackedoutfast · 2020-01-24T20:51:11+00:00

That's one of the biggest misconceptions about RP, PUA, etc. No one has ever claimed that it's possible to make any particular girl be attracted to you. Improving your SMV will make you more attractive to girls in general. You will be more successful with them in general.

But a lot of guys who cross paths with this stuff ARE looking for a way to make their oneitis crush fall for them. Maybe you will get lucky and once you get your shit together she will suddenly become attracted to you, but probably not.

If you're cold approaching random chicks, you will get rejected most of the time. That's true for any male, even the top PUA instructors and hot Chads. that's just how it is. and anyone who is honest would never claim otherwise.

RP won't help you win over your crush. But it can help you to see that she's really not as great as you think she is. and it can help you be a lot more successful with other women. eventually you won't even care that there isn't some magic cheat code to make her want to want you.

PapaPinyun · 2020-01-25T00:09:03+00:00

What are you investing by plotting? "To plot," you do that shit in a chair, comfortably and briefly. Or laying in bed when you are already doing something like that anyway in your head.

BothWaysItGoes · 2020-01-24T09:52:07+00:00

These things "just happend" only from the POV of a woman. Man does the work, and he can either do it naturally or consciously. It doesn't matter if he is over-investing if the girl doesn't notice it.

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FairlyNaive · 2020-01-24T11:23:37+00:00

You are talking about two different things.

Is sniper game on one particular girl - shit? Yes, absolutely.

Is all game shit and things just happen? No, not at all.

felis_magnetus · 2020-01-24T11:51:34+00:00

Nothing wrong with trying. It's trying to get somebody specific, where it all goes wrong. It's the difference between casting a net on the oceans and dangling a worm in front of the mouth of an overfed trout in a cold creek.

wtknight · 2020-01-24T14:55:57+00:00

I’ve thought up general pick-up approaches in my head and it has worked out fine. I think there’s a difference between strategizing and investing too heavily, and having one-itis is a major way to invest too heavily. Your comparison is like saying that no sports team should ever have a general strategy going into a game. Of course, the key to winning is to be able to adapt one’s strategy when it is called for.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-01-24T15:06:57+00:00

How else are you going to get this girl? You try and figure out the best approach to get her to look at you like that.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-01-24T15:23:49+00:00

One case where it’s a good strategy is with a girl that you already have

Trying to come up with things that will “work” with her is usually a pretty good way to keep her invested

dylang92 · 2020-01-24T15:45:35+00:00

Meh, you miss all the shots you don’t take. But if she rejects you, then yeah it is over. You will never be able to change her mind, or her mind will change so rarely it’s not worth the time

2020-01-24T22:58:41+00:00

Nah. Some level of interest and pursuit is necessary. Too much is repellant of course. Its all about that healthy balance where youre engaged but not pressuring

Joey_Lopez · 2020-01-24T06:30:21+00:00

It's always going to be harder to get a specific girl as opposed to just any girl.

prrraveen · 2020-01-24T08:51:36+00:00

No thats not the case. Infact thats the first thing that comes to my mind when I see a attractive girl. then I approach her if the atmoshphere is right. I usually never have issue getting her number. I sometime get the first date.

SerpentCypher · 2020-01-24T12:57:23+00:00

No, things don't "just happen" for Chad or anyone else. He still puts in the legwork, "It just happened" is the woman's perspective. For Chad, he put the wheels in motion and got the ball rolling with his actions, not just existing.

Same thing with cold approaches, they absolutely do work, for the right kind of guy. Not to say women are lying when they say they unequivocally dislike cold approaches, I believe them. It's just that when Chad cold approaches, it doesn't even register as a cold approach. All of a sudden for the girl it becomes "we just got talking" whereas for Chad, he made a conscientious effort to set up that conversation. All a cold approach is, when you get down to it, is setting up an opportunity to talk to a stranger.

Title	"If a man asks himself 'how can I get this girl' it is already over." CMV
Author	PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP
Upvotes	14
Comments	67
Date	January 24, 2020 3:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/et4esf/if_a_man_asks_himself_how_can_i_get_this_girl_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-a-man-asks-himself-how-can-i-get-this-girl-it.314353 https://theredarchive.com/post/314353