(Epilogue in comments)

The Setup:

I'm currently in foreign country doing a semester abroad. After a bad breakup and a monthslong dry spell back in the States, I decided to download Tinder and try my luck. Start going on dates and acquire a chubby plate who I see as little more than a slumpbuster and a backup. More on her later.

Later, I meet a special girl through Tinder. Let's call her D. D is beautiful, has the type of body I love, and enough of that fiery Latina spirit while still being independent. Honestly, she was the most "wife material" girl I'd ever dated, and she was into me from the moment we met. I was on a rush of confidence because I had broken my dry spell with a 6 who nonetheless was letting me, nay, asking me, to fuck her however I wanted with no strings attached, and I was seeing other girls now. And now this girl D came out of nowhere and was actually more obsessed with me than the my less good-looking options were. Wow!

Physical escalation and abundance mentality are key

Because I had the aforementioned backup options and was already getting my balls drained at least once a week, I was able to adopt a more abundant, confident, and physical manner with D. And she ate it up. I would lift her in the air and kiss her, making her giggle, kiss her on the neck and ears in public, and smack her ass (she told me she especially loved that), and randomly grab her, spin her around, and push her against a wall while I kissed her. Honestly I was pushing the limits of what I thought was appropriate in public, or even what I was comfortable with. But she was a fairly traditional Latina, and I had been told traditional Latina women need a man. Besides, I'd be getting the fuck out of there in a few months and I had backup options. So what if she shot me down? I wouldn't even be in the same country as her soon.

The tragic act Classic Greek tragedies often feature a device known as the "tragic act." The tragic act is the point of no return that dooms the play to end tragically. It is often little more than one very specific detail or change. For example, in Oedipus Rex, the this is when the titular king vows to find the murderer of the former king Laius and curses him for what he did. Which of course turned out to have been an inadvertent Oedipus himself. While Oedipus's murder of Laius set the events in motion, he wasn't truly doomed to tragedy until he swore that Laius' killer be brought to justice.

My tragic act was when I hinted at and later swore exclusivity.

At first I cut through D's shit tests with ease through deflection ("What happens when you go back home?" "Baby, let's just have fun now and talk about it closer to when I leave, ok?") or agree and amplify ("So how many other girls from Tinder are you seeing right now?" "I've lost count."). But I started to slip up. ("I don't like it when you joke about other girls!" "Then I'll stop") ("My family really likes you, they were asking me when you're going to ask me to be your boyfriend." "Well I've actually been thinking about asking you..."). Don't get me wrong, I wasn't softening up just to placate her. After having read some TRP, I was actually convinced she was the closest thing to a unicorn I could get. Beautiful, sensual personality, 19 years old, constantly told me she wanted to make ME happy, only one previous partner (who she'd slept with after no less than a year of dating), smart and educated with lots of shared interests, yet still traditional enough to want a leader and be a loyal potential wife. And NOT WESTERN! Jackpot, right? So I happily pledged my commitment to her. And of course at first she was ecstatic. But the shit tests got worse. Still, she told me how no one made her want to have sex so soon than me. She had originally told me she wanted to wait at least a month before having sex with me. After 2 weeks she was begging me. We had to put it off a few times due to logistics.

Despite how badly I was regressing, with my remaining wits I made one very RP decision: knowing that everything could still come crashing down at any moment, I didn't hard next the other girls. Rather, I put them in "mothballs" and just stopped talking to them. They didn't care, they weren't asking for much. And just like deactivated warships kept in maintanence so that they could be brought back into action, I knew that if D left me without warning at least I wouldn't go hungry.

The bitter end

D and I finally set up a day to fuck. I take the metro halfway across the city to meet her at the station. Then, and only then, does she tell me she doesn't want to have sex after all. Having been anticipating this day, I was upset and felt like she had not only wasted my time and money by waiting to tell me only after meeting her on the pretense of having sex, but that she had deliberately deceived me. So I tried out the "default" RP response and told her it was her choice and I respected it, but I was going home because I had stuff to do. She immediately freaks out and says she wants to make sure I love her. I say I do, and that's exactly why I wanted to have sex with her and didn't get why she was having doubts now. As I suspected, her previous partner had dumped her right after sleeping with her (she told me she only had sex once and she "didn't like it," and that she hadn't dated anyone since). She was worried I'd do the same. I told her in vain I was different, but of course she didn't believe me. This is when I broke down. I started to cry and tell her how for the first time in years, I wasn't depressed or suicidal (something I legitimately had been experiencing almost till meeting her), so she'd damn well better believe I'm not just in it for the sex. She was eating it up, but she still wasn't budging on the sex, which of course I did want and was now worried I wouldn't get from her before my semester ended. Horny desperate Squarehead met sincere caring beta Squarehead and the result was an unholy combination of my worst beta traits coming into full view, switching off like Jekyll and Hyde, neither side no longer seeming sympatetic. Seening my sudden transformation from calm, dashing alpha to groveling yet horny beta, she was repulsed. After I let things drag on this way for far too long, she said "you know what, you're going back to your country soon, we should probably stop now, or at least think over things and talk later." We left each other and went home.

At home, feeling more legitimately desperate and suicidal than I can ever remember, I decided that I wanted to talk now. I told her how stupid I'd been and how I still wanted her and I didn't even need sex and how I had nothing else to live for and was probably going to kill myself. Now Redpillers who struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts, NEVER, UNDER ANY CURCUMSTANCES, DO WHAT I DID. Doesn't matter if it's your parents or your wife. When I get low; I get low. At that very moment I truly did feel like I had nothing to live for and wanted to die, but that's a horrible thing to tell her. If you tell that to someone, what are they going to do? They're going to be scared that if they don't do what you want, you'll kill yourself. Fellow depressed/suicidal people, I don't care how down and out you are. It's incredibly manipulative; you're basically taking a hostage and making demands, except the hostage is yourself. At first she freaked out and was sympathetic, but quickly grew tired and told me to not talk to me again, as I continued to grovel. How had I fucked up this badly? Actually, I already knew the answers.

What I did right:

  • Physical escalation ASAP. I started touching and making out with her as soon as I could. This is probably the single most important thing to establish if you want to be the Alpha Fucks. You're immediately setting the precedent that your're not afraid to be physical and that your relationship will always be physical. Plus, 90% of guys don't have the balls to do this so you immediately stand out.

  • Showing abundance, or at least implying it. Logically D knew that my jokes responses to her shit tests about all the other women were just that: jokes. But they still get the hamster wheel spinning. "Haha, look at how funny he is? But wait, what if he really does have a million other girls after him right now?" Plus, it kept me mysterious. Despite having a relatively unimpressive relationship history, I would always of course subtly imply that I was highly desired and had been with lots of women.

  • Initially showing just the right amount of Beta, in the right way: When girls say they want a soft, sensitive guy, what they really want is an Alpha who ocassionally shows a soft side, but never one bit more than he needs to. When the "other girls" shit test became harder to diffuse, I would tell her that nobody else had made me feel the way I felt since I broke up with my ex, which was actually true. Gentlemen, this shit is chick crack. It's been said that women would rather risk sharing an Alpha than losing his commitment. Your emotional attachment and resources are more valuable to them than sexual fidelity. That's why studies have shown men are more likely to forgive emotional infidelity than sexual infidelity and women sexual infidelity over emotional infideltiy Without having to utter the words "boyfriend" or "exclusive," I was hinting that I thought she was far more important to me than whatever other girls I might be talking to or even fucking at that point. This also plays to their solipsism. "So what Chad's seeing other girls, he obviously cares about me more than any of them. I'm special!"

  • Not immediately cutting off all lesser options before we've fucked. I knew that untill I was balls deep in her, she wasn't really mine, despite all she might say. Sex builds an emotional connection like no other. So I promised myself that no matter how bad my oneitis got, I would never let go of all options for just for the possibility of better pussy, no matter how much better it may be. I kept my Tinder, and she hers. We operated on a "trust system" or "don't ask, don't tell" system as far as who we were talking to on Tinder was concerned. This would later save me from pussy bankruptcy. More on that in the Epilogue.

What I did wrong:

  • I still let my oneitis get the better of me eventually. This girl was in many ways exceptional. But it got to the point where I was starting to be the one waiting longly for her to return my texts or Facebook messages. It's hard because as men, we believe that if we love a woman, we should always show it. Isn't that what they want? But as hard as it is to avoid, the moment you need a woman more than she needs you is the moment you've lost. Even now I'm fucking it up.

  • Being too RP and not enough at the same time. I think I fall into a group of Redpillers who has read enough here to have developed game and a plan to handle any potential situation. But TheRedPill isn't a textbook with one-size-fits-all solutions, and treating it as such will make you the "asshole" RedPiller stereotype reddit hates, because women can smell when you're trying to fake the "alpha" thing because you clearly lack the real experience. And the only thing they despise more than betas are betas pretending to be alphas, because those betas are dangerous because they actually stand a chance of inseminating her with inferior genes. But I digress. I wasn't in the wrong for wanting to drop D. Yes, she had mislead me and wasted my time. But for as counterintuitive as it may seem, I would have been better off saying "that's ok. Let's get lunch right now and talk about this later?" That would have distracted her and perhaps after a bit of time, I could have gently pressed her on my hunch that she had been dumped by an ex after fucking him and comfort her that I wasn't the same. If I played my cards right, I could have still recovered the situation and even gotten laid. In an episode of Arrow, the Green Arrow warns his tech-savvy sidekick Arsenal, who had just had his ass handed to him, that if he relied on his tech more than his instinct, he'd get himself killed. Game and RP theory are just tools. Without instinct, they're useless. In fact, you'll probably be more prone to slip up. This is how women weed out synthetic alphas from the real ones. Fake alphas make it obvious doing things they were told to do or merely thought would work. Real alphas are clearly acting on instinct developed from a history countless experiences with other women. Recognizing shit tests is good, but you have to be able to still read every situation and person individually. Unfortunately, the only real way to gain instinct is to go out there and get your ass handed to you one or a dozen times. I still have a long ways to go.

  • Letting my depression get the best of me. I already touched on this. RPers with serious depression, there's no shame in seeing a professional and getting that shit treated. Because if you let it come out at all with a woman it will almost always kill your chances.

  • Fighting a losing battle and giving ground The real nail in the coffin was talking to her on Facebook after going home. Even that date was a loss, a bit of radio silence and perhaps she would have told me how sorry she was about the other day and how about we have sex for real this time. At the very least, she might have decided to give us another chance. Want to know how not to get them to do that? Bothering them on Facebook as soon as you get home and groveling. Not only do you not give them a chance to think, but you immediately destroy whatever shreds of credibility you had left with them.

EDIT: Formatting. Epilogue in comments.