In my previous post I talked about Mommy Issues in Men, but I think it would also be interesting to discuss how it manifests in women. I could not find much research, but with the little I did find, I think I can relate.

My Experience/ Mom rant:

My mom and I had a very odd relationship. I felt like when my dad was the breadwinner, and she wasn’t so focused on her career she was much more present and nurturing in my life. However when she switched roles with my dad, she became much more absent.

Unrelated to her role as breadwinner.....She would be so nice to me and in seconds snap at me or a family member over something so trivial. (Mental health problems?)

She treats my dad horribly; demanding money (even when she makes more than him), makes, crass infidelity jokes, is jealous, talks down to him, just regularly verbally abuses him.

Also, I would be assaulted by my brother and my mom would be buddy buddy with him the same day. This made me feel very violated and unprotected in my household.

With her being more aggressive, unreliable, absent, and unpredictable, I think I have subconsciously internalized that all women are like her. I think the my mommy issues that have revealed in me are:

  • I have a hard time making female friends, and tend to connect better with men.

  • I generally distrust women.

  • I grew up very tomboy and felt very uncomfortable being feminine (May or may not be related).

I want to work on these and be a much better woman and mom. I want to have more female friends and I want to be healthy to my future kids. Lots to work on.

Also I wanted to note that I do not think family issues are an excuse to accept poor behavior/thinking patterns in yourself. I think in acknowledging weak points of your development it can be advantageous for a starting point in self-improvement.