I broke up with my LTR of 1.5 years about four months ago basically for being super insecure and needy. She had a genuine heart and was deeply in love with me but her insecurities caused too many issues for me. I am still wondering why the breakup is still affecting me to this day. Don't get me wrong, I am leaps and bounds better now than it was the first week but I have a feeling that I just feel guilty.

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Looking back at certain situations, there were definitely moments that I can only describe as red pill rage autism on my end. Sometimes playing games and purposefully trying to manipulate my LTR into complying with what I wanted. Occasionally being cold and blunt in situations where I should have playfully agreed and amplified.

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I just feel this guilt of fucking up certain situations due to red pill rage and not acting how a real red pill man should act. Has anyone else gone through this or know the best way to accept your past doings?