I've been dabbling in the 40s man/college woman area for a few months now. The goal is to find a part time/long term relationship with an intellectual and mentoring connection, not just a sex for money gig. This has put me into contact with some professional Sugar Babies, with interesting observations coming forth.

Recently I started emailing a 20yo psych major, ideal as this is one of my favorite areas of study. After some promising initial banter involving Maslow, Erikson, and Skinner, we turned to an initial chemistry test meeting at a local Starbucks, and she rather pointedly turned the discussion to compensation.

Each side was deliberately vague about a specific number, and I recommended we meet before she settles upon a figure. Then she hit me with something that may be de rigeur in the Sugar Baby world, but made my burgeoning interest go flaccid because of its sheer audacity.

Because we all know time is valuable, I expect a first meeting reward of $100.

My response went to chilly. "Nope. First meeting has a value of zero with mutual risk/reward potential, but I'll spring for the coffee. If trust is an issue I would be willing to pay per diem for the first week or two during the establishment phase. Have you ever studied game theory? Beware of the Prisoners' Dilemma, wherein not trusting results in a mutually worse outcome."

Okay, so if we don't hit it off, you won't pay me, but if we do, you will pay me the first meeting reward?

"Nope. First meeting is to mutually assess chemistry and intent to proceed. This is an opportunity to form a relationship with an aggregate value of five, maybe six figures. Demanding $100 just to show up for such a meeting is crass and shows piss-poor negotiating skills and lack of long-term thinking."

She flounced after this of course. It left me wondering, is the pool of desperate men so full of chumps that Sugar Babies can openly ask for $100 JUST TO SHOW UP FOR COFFEE? Stop feeding the beast, beta men!