Hi all,

I posted a couple of days ago about my bf saying he stated he will never marry.

I feel like some of the comments helped me to understand different aspects of the relationship, and ultimately, after an argument last night, I walked this morning.

I was already running through ideas in my head at this point, but this was not the only issue we’d been dealing with.

I am exhausted. We have been fighting constantly for the last few weeks, over the same things and I think something just switched on me and snapped. I wanted so hard to be the perfect, loyal GF and wife for him, I wanted to stay by his side no matter what, but I just couldn’t do it anymore.

He is very verbally agressive when we fight and time and time again I have asked him to please not speak to me that way, that I’m not deserving of that kind of treatment etc. But I realised I cannot change him. Not for the way he talks to me, not for not wanting to marry, not for anything. I cannot change him. Walking was my way of accepting this, as I could not take it any longer.

We got into a petty fight yesterday over something relatively small. It was late at night and I made a back hand comment, he pulled me out of bed and told me to essentially F off and that he didn’t care where I went, I was not deserving of sleeping in his bed. I asked to sleep on the sofa and said I can go away in the AM if he wanted. Fast forward to this morning and he asked me what I’m still doing here and when I’m going. Normally I’d be pleading to work on things and stay at this point but I just told him I was going to pack my stuff and leave later. He then went to the gym.

I am very lucky to have amazing friends and family taking me in and supporting me. They have been non judgmental and supportive of my decision. I have tried to explain both sides of the story and am still getting the same feedback, no one deserves to be spoken to the way he speaks to me.

When we fight, he will call me a ‘bitch’, say I’m breaking his balls non stop, say all kinds of things like I’m just searching for problems (when I ask if we can just talk), tell me to F off, that he doesn’t care whether or not I’m here, that he’s lived without me before and he’ll be fine doing it again. He once told me his meals were cooked, his house was cleaned and his d*ck was sucked before me, which really started me thinking is this all I am to him?

Ultimately, I couldn’t take the constant fighting and him saying he didn’t care whether or not we were together. I felt insecure in the relationship because I had nothing to my self (his house, he provided) and he would constantly tell me he’s going to kick me out or get me to leave if I kept annoying him.

I think deep down he loves me, but he does not respect me, and no begging or pleading with him will ever fix it.

I am finding a new job, place to live and starting from 0. I hope he finds happiness, and I hope I do too. I am so sad we could not be that missing part for each other and he has some truly amazing qualities and we had shared good times, but I am not willing to be made to feel like a disposable piece of sh*t every time there is a slight disagreement.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. Post break up advice welcome!