I have posted here some times before about my situation, basically I'm in total despair and loneliness because of my ugliness and my nonmasculine character. Recently I started working out and eating healthy as a last ditch effort to escape this nightmare, before I might actually kill myself.

While it has lifted my spirits at least somewhat and also helped clear my skin (acne destroyed my face completely), which might open a road to getting my skin lasered so I become at least slightly less ugly, I still can't see how rp and black pill aren't true.

Every social interaction I have just proves that women like one type of man and one type only. Yes, men's preferences are often same-y, but at least there is some variance. Some men like really thin women, some like curvy ones, some even plain overweight ones. Women don't, they only like muscular men. The more muscle, the better. Some men like short women, some normal sized ones, some tallish ones. Women don't, they only like tall men. The taller, the better. Infact, being short is pretty much the worst thing you can be as a man.

Also, when it comes to character and behaviour, men value different character traits in women. Women only value the same characteristics. Men need to be loud, confident to the degree of arrogance (if you're good looking arrogance will just be perceived as confidence anyway) and most importantly: NEVER show any signs of weakness. Honestly, this is the biggest thing to me. What even is the point of relationships, when I can't even show the slightest weakness? It makes women lose attraction like nothing else.

Recently I've found myself getting absolutely depressed to the degree of almost crying whenever I was in big public settings, because it just shows red pill and black pill in full effect. Women immediately flock to the most attractive men, there is absolute zero chance of genetically inferior men like me to have succes.

The irony of all of this is, that genetically unworhty men like myself have to put up an act of confidence at all times in social situations. We have to approach (no woman has ever shown interest in me) all the time, get shot down everytime (I have literally 0 success) and while suffering from all of this, you are NOT allowed to ever be weak and show emotions (this is why men need to become stoic rocks, else they would become absolutely insane).

It all feels like a giant charade, just to become a cheap copy of something much better (genetically superior men), in hopes of getting a woman to like you. But I'll never be more than a cheap off-brand placeholder until a better man comes along and since women don't have to approach guys and generally have plenty of men to choose from, that will happen quickly.

Some of you will say to "just be myself" but that leads right back to my opening points: There is only one objectively attractive kind of man and if you're not like that, you'd better get used to live lonely.

So even if I "ascend" as incels would say and become muscular and facially attractive enough to get a girlfriend, how could I even take her seriously? Wouldn't it just prove how correct red and black pill are? I honestly wish these things weren't true, it's incredibly saddening, but there seems to be no other way to view this absolute joke of attracting women.