A lot has been made on just how to "pass" shit tests. The common refrain is to use some form of witty deflection, usually parrying the statement and pressure back onto the woman to ease out of the frame she's trying to put you in. This works for the most part, as you can adeptly learn how to use verbal power to negate whatever attempts a woman might undertake to test you.
There are alternatives, however. Firstly, some clarity on my approach to shit tests: I don't look to "pass" them, as this inherently gives the woman an excess amount of power. Yes, she's judging whether or not I'm all I present myself as, but that outcome is largely irrelevant to who I am as a person. Whether or not she approves of my sexual suitability changes nothing fundamental, and is a creature born and bred entirely in her own mind, with no territory in my own world. Using that as the basis, your inherent state of being should be minimal effort for maximum results. This means that whatever you do should be mediated by trying the least to get the most.
Now, I am a witty, intelligent, well-spoken man. I can use any combination of sarcasm, humour or deflection to get past a shit test. Generally though, I don't. Why? Because it's more effort than I'm willing to put into the endeavour. Essentially, I will not reward her bad behaviour (the shit test) with acquiescence to the idea that I should use my wit or verbal manoeuvering to satisfy her.
How, then, do I bypass these little speed bumps?
Simple. A combination of body language and minimal words. Whenever a woman pulls a shit test, I will generally look at her and snort or smirk in a dismissive way, before causally guiding the conversation to a place I actually enjoy.
A recent example: I was out with my friends this past weekend. One of them brought along his new girlfriend, a bird he's been seeing for about a month now. This was the first she and I had met. Th conversation steered towards romantic relationships, and my friend mentioned to his girlfriend how I had been in an LTR for a few years and that I'd been single ever since. His girlfriend was of course immediately curious about both why things had ended with my LTR and why I don't have another steady relationship. To the former, I gave a simple "Things stopped working." She tried to prod, but I didn't give anymore. Then she moved on to the second bit of my romance love, wanting to know why I wasn't committed to anyone despite having a number of casual sexual acquaintances (Another detail my pal spilled.) I again gave her a simple "Just hasn't happened."
At this point, my reticence was clearly annoying her, as she wanted to unravel me so she could place me in a neat little mental box. So, reverting to type, she said: "Maybe you're just not boyfriend material." This was obviously an overt test of my frame, confidence, and an attempt to diminish my standing in the group. The expected response would be me defending myself, stating why I am, in fact, boyfriend material. So what did I say? Nothing. I simply looked at her with a measured "Aren't you an uppity little cunt" look, snorted, and sipped my drink,.
At that juncture, she had one of two options: 1) Try and press and get me to justify and validate myself. 2) Let it go. She chose wisely. See, had she pursued the issue, she would've been essentially forced into chasing me in front of the whole group, which is anathema to a woman's mating strategy. I flipped the script on her with no wit, no banter. Simply six vague words and body language.
The beauty of body language and reticence, especially in combination, is that they're both ambiguous enough to not let keep her guessing and precise enough to stack the odds in your favour. In my example, I said nothing, which means that my actions could be open to interpretation, but I was also dismissive enough to communicate my resistance to falling into her frame.
Here's how you might use this:
Her: "How many women have you slept with?"
You: Half-smile, pat on the arse. "Enough"
Her: "Does that usually work on girls"
You: Shrug and move the conversation on.
Her: "I have a boyfriend"
You: Slight downard look, look back into her eyes, keep the conversation moving.
Much like gun fights, the best way to win with shit tests is to not engage to begin with. Quick responses are well and good, and work for those who can pull them off, but non-verbal cues are deadly for sending hamsters spinning. So next time she asks or says something stupid: talk less, act more.
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