How far would you say self-improvement or "working on yourself" helps in becoming more attractive to women?

Joey_Lopez · 2020-02-08T22:03:38+00:00

Self improvement does make you more attractive. It's just a matter of how attractive can it make you.

TotalTravesty · 2020-02-08T22:03:55+00:00

You can’t self-improve your way to being a perfect 10 but you can certainly improve yourself to be more attractive than your previous self. That’s why it’s called “improvement.”

Being significantly overweight is unattractive. So if you self-improve to be less overweight, you become a little more attractive.

Having nothing interesting to say is unattractive—nobody wants to spend time with a bore. So if you read more, explore more, develop more to have conversations about, you become a little more attractive.

Unfortunately, being bitter and depressed is unattractive—nobody wants to be brought down by a downer. So if you seek therapy and improve your outlook on life, you become a little more attractive.

And so forth and so on. Every little but counts. If you set realistic goals and accept the fact that, again, you probably won’t become a perfect 10, you should eventually find results you can be happy with.

Now if you think that’s all a bunch of BS and don’t want to do anything because gEnEtIcS, fine. But don’t expect anything different because you (not you specifically) didn’t do anything to self-improve.

Source: myself.

gimpgirl555 · 2020-02-08T21:49:00+00:00

What do you reckon?

Women are transactional in their relationships. "I will trade you X in exchange for Y". So you can't "become attractive" to women, you can just get more things to trade with.

The easiest thing to trade with is money. If you get money you can buy different services from women.

Self improvement is only relevant if there is something majorly wrong with you. Like you're socially awkward or really nerdy or crazy.

Other than that you don't need to self improve just get money and buy what you want. You don't "self improve" to buy a car right? Or to go to the movies?

VetteVet83 · 2020-02-08T22:17:15+00:00

Elon Musk will have a pick of nearly any woman he wants.

A man's physical attractiveness is not the be all and end all of how successful he will be in dating. Women care far more about his status, how productive he is, what other men think of him, where he sits in the hierarchy etc.

That's why self improvement is important

saladfingers4141 · 2020-02-08T21:45:13+00:00

Working on yourself 100% makes you more attractive to women. You are ultimately limited by negative traits you can't change ie facial features, body type, height, social status etc but there is no reasonable argument to be made that working on yourself doesn't make you more attractive.

Million-Suns · 2020-02-08T22:09:49+00:00

Self improvement only works for people of average SMV who have not unleashed potential because they don't work out, don't do haircuts, don't shave, don't pick stylish clothes, don't bother with a skincare routine, etc.

But if you're very low SMV, self improvement will not help you in being more attractive.

That's my case. Even with doing all of the above, I' m still 4 on the SMV. Bad genetics.

newyearzz2020 · 2020-02-08T22:33:52+00:00

If you have at least a slightly above average face, then improving your physique and your behaviour (ie not being blue pill) will allow you to attract A LOT more women than you did previously.

If you’re really physically unattractive (face wise) then you better just become rich.

wtknight · 2020-02-09T06:26:00+00:00

It makes a marginal improvement. It might take a guy from being an incel to having an unattractive girlfriend, but not someone with Stacey looks, or it might help a guy who can only find sex in a relationship to have casual sex once in a while, but not at Chad-like rates.

mechanical_elves · 2020-02-09T01:49:41+00:00

>That self improvement is basically a myth. It's designed to keep unattractive men in their place and maintain them as "wage slaves" who don't cause problems for women and society

Close but not quite. For a few men self improvement helps a lot, for most men it helps a little to none. Although I don't consider it a conspiracy, I do think past a certain point, self improvement becomes a convenient distraction meme to keep men hopeful throughout their adult lives.

I don't think this is an evil conspiracy, I think the people who perpetuate this mean well. I think ever man should give self improvement a shot for 2-3 years of sincere effort, and if it doesn't produce the desired results, focus on contentment rather than chasing shadows.

BumblingBeta · 2020-02-09T23:41:44+00:00

Are you 6ft or taller? Are you facially good looking? Are you naturally extroverted?

If you answered no to the three questions above, self-improvement will do little to nothing for you, unless you become famous or incredibly wealthy.

If you answered yes to one or two of the questions above, self-improvement can definitely help you.

2020-02-08T22:53:21+00:00

There's an error band:

Worst case scenario

At the low end is actively engaging in multiple self-destructive behaviors that tend to reduce attractiveness.

Mean

Somewhere in the middle is the default state, which for most people seems to be just doing what you can to get through the day and fulfill your responsibilities and obligations

Best case scenario

At the high end is actively engaging in as many self-improvement habits as possible without burning out (since burning out means ultimately reverting to the mean above, or worse)

Every individual's error band is different.

The only way to really find out one's best case scenario (which most people want to know deep down, I believe) is to do all you can, within reason, to improve.

r/uglyduckling is a pretty inspiring subreddit illustrating the outliers of this concept (very large error bands!)

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G77R23D · 2020-02-08T22:05:39+00:00

Practically all the way.

akihonj · 2020-02-08T22:52:17+00:00

I'd agree and disagree

For your points then

For some point 1 will apply new clothes or a new hairstyle has been all it takes and that guy is hooking up every day.

For some though pint 2 the weight loss is the key, they were already somewhat attractive to women but they just looked off for some reason and then getting into the gym and loosing some weight was all it took

Then you have point 3 and again this will apply to some men because it's true then for some no matter what they just don't have that thing that makes them attractive enough to any woman.

This should come as no surprise though as there are plenty of women hitting 40+ and saying that they've given up and have never had a long term boyfriend and some saying they've never even been out on a date.

For some men and women they just lack that thing, that makes them attractive to the opposite sex, you can trawl through the subs here foreverlonley or foreveralone etc and see for yourself there is a pretty good mix of both men and women

They are of all ages who say the same things over and over.

Shenaniboozle · 2020-02-08T23:02:45+00:00

Taking steps to become more attractive helps by making you more attractive to everyone you deal with.

If you havent taken the plunge yet, you should. Being good looking is one of the best decisions I ever made, you should totally do it.

2020-02-09T01:17:38+00:00

It can improve your chances. If you were fat and you lose weight that's a significant increase. If you can go from lacking any self-assertion to being assertive that should be an improvement. If you sort your career out it will help too. It can be a waste of time sometimes though if what you're looking for is just getting laid.

But doing these things should be more for becoming more secure and happy with yourself. You should be aiming for the day when your worth isn't defined by how much pussy you get, or by women at all for that matter.

flamingoinghome · 2020-02-09T01:42:42+00:00

Self-improvement helps, but honestly, sometimes what you really need is just a change of scene. TRP and similar depend on this idea of universal preferences; while there are a few, they're generally not the end of the world. Broaden your horizons. Get out there.

goneaway2thewind · 2020-02-09T03:36:17+00:00

I think is inevitably doesn't matter because noatter how good you are hypergamy will select for the better option when its available. I was given the option to steal women by very solid dudes many times in my life. She is only as loyal as her options.

Most of the time, maybe you'll get lucky

blue_neck69 · 2020-02-09T03:48:05+00:00

It works. Even an ugly guy who lifts and has a huge physique gets attention. Having a nice-body as well as a well-paying job can help any guy. You still need a personality, but after i started lifting, i noticed girls would start to blush around me, and my job lets them know I’m at least upper middle class.

CHAD_TDK · 2020-02-09T04:39:10+00:00

I'd say ~~100%~~ 98.75% effective.

acron5n5 · 2020-02-09T08:19:39+00:00

It works a little and only if you have something to start with.

joesmithasdf · 2020-02-09T15:18:29+00:00

Are you trying to get free coaching? Of course it helps in proportion to the effort you make.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-02-09T17:45:06+00:00

Improving myself increased my confidence that I had something to offer in a relationship. Once you can see yourself as a prize, dating becomes much easier.

Vulture051 · 2020-02-09T20:56:31+00:00

I would say it helps a lot and that the career part is far more important than raw looks if you want anything long term.

"Chad Thundercock" may get plenty of hookups but if he's poor with no prospects "Stacey" isn't going to hang around long.

2020-02-09T23:07:32+00:00

It helps more with an starting advantage way beyond over those not having it.

It's great for making people feel guilty, inadequate (according to the one shaming you's standards of what you should be) and shut even when they most likely have been "self improving" before they realized.

blackedoutfast · 2020-02-09T23:15:27+00:00

well obviously it all depends on how much self improvement you do.

yeah if you're a 5'4" balding Indian janitor, it might not be possible to self-improve to the point where you're living the Dan Bilzerian fantasy lifestyle and having yacht orgies with your harem of models.

but i don't care how ugly or awkward or short or ethnic you incel fuckers are, it's possible for you to improve yourself to the point where you can have hookups and get a cute girlfriend and all that. you just have to do the necessary, Pajeet. the bar is actually really low because most men are lazy losers.

ToraChan23 · 2020-02-10T18:24:20+00:00

It may not always make you attractive to women, but it would certainly make you the type of person people (men and women) would enjoy to be around, which definitely helps.

Sepean · 2020-02-08T22:14:58+00:00

It makes a huge difference. It’s incredible.

You can’t just do random self improvement though. I was always into that, I was fit and rich before and it was nothing compared to what the red pill playbook did, frame and game are huge game changers.

XtoDoubt · 2020-02-08T22:32:28+00:00

I have personally improved my romantic relationships with women significantly using trp concepts. What do you have to lose by trying?

Title	How far would you say self-improvement or "working on yourself" helps in becoming more attractive to women?
Author	BumblingBeta
Upvotes	12
Comments	60
Date	February 8, 2020 9:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f0y7t9/how_far_would_you_say_selfimprovement_or_working/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-far-would-you-say-self-improvement-or-working.331377 https://theredarchive.com/post/331377