Feeling dread over graduating college

2020-02-09T00:53:30+00:00

There's no age-limit to making friends. You should look for them the same way you could in uni - by joining groups of your interest or something related to your hobby. It also sounds like the meds you're taking have an awful side-effect so maybe talk about changing them with your doc? Someone else's experience doesn't look like another person's. The people who said that it's the end of hooking up were generalising. It also seems frats won't work for you, so back to square one - finding some hobbies/interests and a place to socialize based on them.

username_6916 · 2020-02-09T06:39:31+00:00

Dude like 2-3 years out of college, you’ll forget all about this “dread”. I also thought I had a sub-par social experience in college, but that is so irrelevant now... I look back at it, and laugh. Once you’re out in the working world, your family and co-workers will fulfill any social lack you are feeling. This will pass man.

realShustyRackleford · 2020-02-09T11:42:55+00:00

If college, school and uni were the best time of life then I'm a monkeys uncle! SO much pressure to socialise and be the best you can be. I spent every second of it consumed by my mental illness, agrovated by young dickheads and borderline suicidal.

I haven't been happier since I wormed free of that cesspool and realized that, shit, I'm just not naturally social and that's okay.

I have loose bonds with numerous co-workers over the years and that's all I need despite social 'norms'.

Personally I'm glad I waited out my stupidity years to start living my life, when I swap nightmare stories with others I really realize how much misery and abuse I missed just by starting my explorative years later, when I was smarter and when I was ready.

You can't hold yourself to the timings and standards of others because they were built with them, and not you, in mind. Set your own goals and wanted social achievements as and when you're ready for them. Make them realistic to you, cause there ain't no other you out there to give you rules and guidance.

Good luck out there mate. Give yourself some leeway and slack, you're only a baby, you got YEARS of building and self improvement ahead.

Pastirica · 2020-02-09T12:06:26+00:00

i'm not officially diagnosed, never been to therapy but I think I have a degree of Avoidant personality disorder. some aspects of your post may indicate you have the same problems.

feelings of inadaquacy, loneliness despite craving deeper connections, wanting to be liked, avoiding social situations and meeting new people for fear of not liking you, constant feelings of being an outsider...

for the longest time I didn't know what the fuck is wrong with me but finding myself in this description has helped me . I haven't found the cure but educating myself about it has helped me to cope better.

ziggysmsmd · 2020-02-24T17:46:36+00:00

College for me was okay. I worked full time and had less time to socialize than most. Shit gets better after you get out. Develop a better sense of being you and know your worth and who you are as a person.

Oh yeah - stop worrying about what others think. Pity party invites should be turned down. No sense socializing people that you don't vibe with. Be ruthless with your time and surround yourself with people YOU are happy with...life is too damn short to be chasing people you don't like and trying to impress people you aren't interested in anyway.

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2020-02-09T11:36:19+00:00

I don't know your major but for me, my graduating year most of the people in my classes were in my degree field and I kinda recognized all of them from other years other classes.

Last year was filled with a lot of big projects and it was there I finally met a core group, helping each other across the finish line, so to speak. Long hours in labs and libraries make a good place to just talk casually. Plus, you'll have a good reason to stay in touch, you all are going to be doing the same job searches after.

It's a good time to join any groups related to your field anyways, for your resume, and don't forget to maybe jam in a short internship in on campus. My last year I joined a group of CS guys looking to do a volunteer project for a domestic abuse organization. In a few weeks we created an portable operating system with applications that help people escape their situations. It was a short fun project and I ended up hanging out with them after the fact. I wasn't even a CS major, but I was heading into the tech sector and it was a great experience learning how to work with engineers. It was fun.

Shit like that is out there on campus and you should be jumping at it, especially senior year. Do it for your resume, but use it to make friends.

GeoffTheArteest · 2020-02-11T19:44:31+00:00

The best way to meet people is by talking to them. Start talking to people, and don't make excuses. You can talk to complete strangers. If you feel to "try hard," then realize that is 100% better then not trying. Start from square one. If square one is "try hard," then embrace it. If square one is "uncomfortable," then embrace it. Not everyone wants to be your friend, but some people do want to be your friend. It's your job to talk to people and find out.

Title	Feeling dread over graduating college
Author	BeardedAnus2
Upvotes	22
Comments	15
Date	February 9, 2020 12:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/f10gue/feeling_dread_over_graduating_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/feeling-dread-over-graduating-college.331659 https://theredarchive.com/post/331659