How do you girls respond to your man drooling over another woman in front of you?

Huxleys_Island_Dude · 2020-11-23T19:10:51+00:00

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arabiandoll · 2020-11-23T17:35:55+00:00

It is extremely disrespectful imo. I would tell him exactly how you feel. I would say “I feel so jealous and hurt when you look at other women” and “I feel so disrespected and betrayed when you do this” but that’s it. Don’t tell him to stop. Just express how you feel and refuse to be in the same place as him when he does something like this. Like literally get up and go somewhere else (if that would make you feel more comfortable, that’s just what I would do)

penneAlavodka · 2020-11-24T03:24:05+00:00

My SO has never done it, he will even kindof averts his gaze when we watch a movie and there’s a naked woman. He doesn’t follow those kinds of women, he doesn’t really use social media. I never asked him to be like this, he is just always careful and considerate and I’m glad I don’t have this problem. I would have a huge issue with what you listed and leave the relationship.

Edit: obviously I don’t expect him to think no other human is hot. I’m sure he’s noticed sexy women. But he can keep the opinion to himself and won’t check them out in front of me. same goes for me.

ajaa123 · 2020-11-23T19:22:07+00:00

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MissMavenMoon · 2020-11-23T18:21:15+00:00

I also say to tell him how you feel. I understand that men will look at other women,but i'd be curious about why he would have to comment on how hot my friend was. That would hurt me.

TranslatedSky · 2020-11-25T05:18:53+00:00

All men look. It’s biological. The man who values you doesn’t brag about it in front of you. That’s indicative of disrespect and you’re not the first to have this problem by the way. Just search the sub.

You respond accordingly depending which is which. One is not like the other. If it’s just jealousy and not disrespect, stay away from shit tests and focus on being the goddess of light and fun. Respond with humor, vulnerability and even sexiness. If it’s disrespect, I would walk away because respect can’t be negotiated.

cactusflower8 · 2020-11-23T22:00:20+00:00

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mx25sh · 2020-11-23T20:59:36+00:00

If he is doing these things, he doesn’t value you. Plain and simple.

rosesonthefloor · 2020-11-23T20:43:37+00:00

It depends on your relationship dynamic. My ex and I would comment on attractive women together, but that’s more of a rarity.

It is disrespectful if it is blatant and/or makes you feel uncomfortable. Have you expressed your boundaries/feelings about it? If not, he might not really realize how much it affects you. Either way, it sounds like it’s time for a conversation. Express how it makes you feel, and see how he responds. If he’s unwilling to make any changes, decide if that’s a dealbreaker for you.

It is a natural thing for men to look at other women... but it’s also a respect thing to be discreet if you do. Sounds like homeboy needs to figure it out and have some tact.

Theyogithatcould · 2020-11-24T05:04:15+00:00

Low value man. Dump. There's better. I won't tolerate this. Mine has made pretty questionable comments about others being "cute", to my face, which made me feel very cold at the time. Ugh, gross.. Exit stage left like a lady if your guy is a lecher.

ClarityByHilarity · 2020-11-24T04:14:27+00:00

I have literally never dated anyone who did this. I don’t think most men do this in front of their partner. 🤷🏼‍♀️

LuckyLittleStar · 2020-11-24T00:37:46+00:00

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nocreativity729 · 2020-11-24T05:54:36+00:00

It’s disrespectful. I’ve definitely seen my boyfriend looking (totally normal) but commenting??? He’d be gone.

xun1 · 2020-11-24T05:59:57+00:00

My ex did this , one of the reasons I left him. It reduced me to such an insecure mess.

Davidoff24 · 2020-11-27T08:12:53+00:00

Extremely disrespectful, a major turnoff and a killer of love. Would dump his ass 100% and not put up with it.

One of the things I admire in a man is his control of his basic instincts. It's hard I know, especially for men as they are more visual. I understand the urge to look, I myself sometimes look at other hot women, but IN FRONT OF ME??? No way.

LuckyLittleStar · 2020-11-24T02:04:33+00:00

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thisismytenth · 2020-11-24T02:17:52+00:00

It’s definitely disrespectful. ESPECIALLY him telling you that your friend is hot. Almost like negging in my opinion. However, I follow male models. If an attractive man walks by, I’m definitely going to look. Same with seeing a beautiful woman though, beauty is pleasant to look at. But him pointing your friend out to you seems like he’s honestly trying to knock you down. This could very well not be his intention but if he’s daft enough not to realize what he’s doing, then it’s almost just as bad honestly. I know how you feel though OP. When I would go out with this guy for fun, he would show me girls he’s talking to and call them cute. The less of a reaction I gave, the more he was into me. It’s when my insecurities and jealousy ate me up, that’s when I decided to cut ties and focus on my confidence. I hope to be in a place where a guy can call someone attractive and I can agree but also know that I’m probably just as attractive (if it’s realistic). I’m not there yet, so I’m not dating. All in all, there’s a difference between looking and making you feel bad about yourself.

ddouchecanoe · 2020-11-24T05:31:58+00:00

My boyfriend has never stared at other women during times/places I would notice. He respects me far too much.

Our relationship is not a locker room.

He also expresses pity toward women who feel the need to undress on the internet for attention and doesn't use social media other than reddit.

dov-alice · 2020-11-24T03:59:09+00:00

It’s very disrespectful. If you can’t handle being committed, then don’t get in a relationship, or work on self control before you do.

strawbewwymilk · 2020-11-24T03:04:20+00:00

Ew yikes

LuckyLittleStar · 2020-11-23T20:25:32+00:00

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ContentShop · 2020-11-24T01:54:44+00:00

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aussiedollface2 · 2020-11-24T23:01:12+00:00

Obviously he’s going to notice attractive women but it’s highly disrespectful to do this in front of you. Have a talk to him about it and seek counselling if need be xo

ends1995 · 2020-11-24T11:37:41+00:00

I used to feel stupid for hating this. Like if my bf at the time would do this I would think it was my problem for getting mad about it, bc they always argue “it’s just natural/I’m just looking/ wow am I not allowed to look/ should I wear blinders? Etc” so I began internalizing it and then being angry and saying nothing was the matter even though there obviously was. THEN comes the “omg women are so complicated they never say what’s actually wrong” ....we don’t wanna say anything because we get told it’s not an issue and we should accept it even though it makes us feel uncomfortable. I agree that boundaries should be established, and what’s not ok for some might be ok for others. NOW I think that I shouldn’t feel guilty for having boundaries and if I’m not okay with something, it should be discussed and known.

anothergoodbook · 2020-11-24T02:05:04+00:00

We were talking about sex once. He was explaining that when we don’t have sex often and his sex drive was up there it was harder for him to look away. Then he pointed out a woman jogging with short shorts and said, “like that”. Of course I don’t look anything like her. I believe I was pregnant at the time).

I just said, “I understand what you are saying. But I don’t need it pointed out to me. I don’t need to know it.”

I mean I suppose it depends on the couple. One pastor I listened to said it was sort of like looking at artwork. He and his wife would talk about, “oh yeah he/she does look nice”. But if it’s something that bugs you, you can bring it up similar to another comment. You can say that it feels disrespectful and put it in his court. I wouldn’t throw a hissy fit though.

BeruitBody49 · 2020-11-23T21:15:13+00:00

I’m definitely a minority here, but I love that kind of stuff. I’m bisexual, so it’s usually hubs and I checking out women together lol... it’s also nice to see what he likes and get some ideas, you know? (Oh, he likes that style/cut of bikini/lingerie, or maybe I should cut a little weight or do more cardio to look more like that chick, for example.) I don’t really ever feel jealousy. We also have a semi-open relationship, where we are both allowed to sleep with other women; although he rarely seems interested in doing so without my involvement. He is so amazing; I would feel really selfish keeping him all to myself! Plus I know he really loves me, so I don’t fear him running off with someone else.

If you’re uncomfortable with it, try to examine why it bothers you first, before you ask him to change his behavior. Don’t take it personally. If you do talk to him about it, make sure you explain your feelings in a calm and logical way, and sandwich the request between appreciative statements and praise.

Edited for clarity.

Kingzumar · 2020-11-24T11:40:26+00:00

I think it’s okay to look, not stare tho. I think its disrespectful to comment about it..

mandoa_sky · 2020-11-24T07:06:17+00:00

I openly ogle men i think are hot so i'm more of a what's good for the goose is good for the gander

just_a_mum · 2020-11-24T01:08:41+00:00

Personally, I feel very secure in my relationship and wouldn't worry too much about Hubby staring at another woman at the beach or out shopping. I might even make a comment in jest like "you're drooling Hunni...". Calling a new friend "hot" or "sexy" would also be OK, as long as it was in the right context and not creepy. More simply observational. I also feel very secure in being able to tell my husband when I find another man attractive.

Following models on Instagram, however, is kinda creepy. And stalkerish, imo. So I would have an issue with that.

Shymink · 2020-11-24T01:20:51+00:00

Men are visual creatures. Value yourself, bring a lot to the table and no one worth your time will be disrespectful of that.

LateralThinker13 · 2020-11-23T20:36:54+00:00

It depends upon your relationship with him. Is either of you insecure? is either of you likely to stray? Or do you just have healthy sexual appreciation for beauty?

My wife and I both like looking at sexy strangers. We will each point out others who we think the other will enjoy. But we have a solid relationship and neither of us would ever take a lover without the other's consent. (We're poly, consensually nonmonogamous). Yes, poly redpill is a thing.

If you don't like that he spends time looking and following the models, and he knows this, then it's disrespectful. But if it's just looking, give it up. Guys look. If a hot woman is in view, pretty much every man will look.

It's what they do afterwards that matters.

If he DOESN'T clearly know how much it bothers you, then that's a covert contract and not fair. Fix that with communication. Either way, you need to talk to him.

Advanced_Bar_673 · 2020-11-25T19:01:06+00:00

I think men are visual creatures and will be drawn to look. Acting on those moments or subsequent cheating are a different matter though. Could he be doing it to instill "dread game"? It's possible if he's RP.

Have you tried mirroring his behaviour to see how he reacts? I would be inclined to mirror what he does (in a very sweet way), and then he may bring up that HE is uncomfortable... at which point you can say "Well I thought I was fine to express myself the same way you do." Sometimes people need a taste of their own medicine in a non-confrontational way.

Also, is there a common "look" that these ladies have which is different from you? You could also try to emulate their style more if that's what he finds appealing. Best of luck!

pt5 · 2020-12-31T22:11:07+00:00

If your man drooling over other women turns you off instead of activating your "dread game attraction," then you've got a problem on your hands... and it isn't his attraction to other women. All men are attracted to "other women" than you whether they're with you or not.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2020-11-25T22:52:35+00:00

It's either disrespect or game playing. Not good either way. Honestly I would probably retaliate by pointing out some guy who I think is attractive too but I would hate the situation.

mtriad · 2020-11-24T05:33:08+00:00

I know a couple of very close friends who are on this dynamic. He notices other hot women and when he misses one, his wife lets him know about the hottie around. She also comments and rates their hotness. They laugh about it. Equally, she also looks at the hot guys. They seem to have a LOT of fun. They've been together for 15 years, needless to say they are happy.

This is my ideal too.

A lot of blue pilled responses here saying it is flat out disrespectful missing context.

I have some news to you, all men do this, 100% of them whether they show it or not. Good luck trying to find someone who doesn't, unless you are bisexual.

XOChiaChiaXO · 2020-11-24T11:33:09+00:00

Talk to him about it. Be confident. I live in Socal so being jealous or insecure over everyone or anyone for that matter would make me insane. Learn to be secure with yourself enough to appreciate what he might see that's interesting or intriguing about her. Ex and I are at the pool...there was this girl, pretty trashy, but no men were thinking that...she was flaunting her new boob job like no ones business. You couldn't help it its all you saw.

I made a comment that her doctor did a good job, he did I could tell. Me and my ex have similiar wit though and are very blunt, I proceeded to no filter make him guess how old she was because her fab brand new skin on her chest did not match rest of body. But she looked great. He later went to bathroom when he came back I was chatting with her. I think I made her day. My bf's too. Could've been really uncomfortable. She had been kind of eyeing him too, she was closer to his age and I'm much younger. I decided to take control of the situation. Not that he would ever do anything w her he more looking because I mean you really couldnt not and people were being kind of immature about it. Sorry for the vapid baywatch esque example.

We're probably conditioned because of upbringing and where we live though not to see attractive or striking people as big of a deal. It's an etiquette thing. Staring like he is, is rude. Whether it's complimentary or the opposite. They dont know it usually makes people uncomfortable. ... maybe if he could talk about it you won't feel its taboo when hes stares or he will and it wont happen in a weird way. The comment on the other hand or in addition rather speaks to his awareness or lack thereof as well. If it's intentional, and hes being condescending to you, which it seems unless he is just unaware.

If I were you based on what it seems you assume, I'd tell him he sounds fucking creepy. WTF it would turn me off so much I'd be too embarassed to look at him. It's in poor taste, he sounds. Like what's next your daughter? Seriously. A different would be if, he told your best friend she looked beautiful on her wedding day. Or if you're best friends with her and hes with her husband and he can say it as an endearing-you guys look hott! As in you together her and her husband. Dressed up or something. Party. Otherwise weird

Environmental_Ad5867 · 2020-11-24T12:35:12+00:00

Scenario 1,2,4 - it’s literally out of sight, out of mind. Really. Most men won’t even remember it after she’s walked away. They’re biologically wired to find attractive women... attractive. They’re very visual but most often, it’s harmless.

Though as a caveat, it depends on the man. If he’s got a history of being unfaithful, then it’s an issue. Take that as an overall picture

3rd situation I’d have an issue with because that’s just disrespectful and I’d call him out on that. If the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t react to kindly if you said you found one of his friends attractive

leinlin · 2020-11-24T07:13:57+00:00

https://youtu.be/dlZsGpWJmos

Title	How do you girls respond to your man drooling over another woman in front of you?
Author	cherrykitty87
Upvotes	61
Comments	102
Date	November 23, 2020 5:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/jzlrqs/how_do_you_girls_respond_to_your_man_drooling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-girls-respond-to-your-man-drooling-over.331863 https://theredarchive.com/post/331863