Women are not liars

This is an excerpt from a book I found useful and enjoyable to read, "The way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. This is chapter 16 from the book and highlights a concept that I think is worthwhile. As these new redpillers leave the anger stage, I would encourage them to think about embracing this notion of accepting a woman's nature.

Although the title says "women", and this sub loves to use the silly terms alpha/beta, I would replace all of this with feminine. There are feminine men, and they are like women. They are like children. This is part of their nature and instead of being angry with them for it, just understand it. You would not listen to a bratty kid sister anymore than you should listen to the feminine mind or words.

When you listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the ocean, or the wind in the leaves. The sounds you hear from her are sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy. Of course, there are times when she speaks in the masculine style of meaning exactly what she says, but more often, and almost always in emotional moments, what she says is the sound of her feelings. Her feminine speech is far more like poetry than like a clearcut agenda for action. In an emotional moment, what she says she is going to do is actually an expression of what she feels like doing in the moment. Her feelings, and therefore what she is actually going to do, could change in five minutes. It could change every five minutes.

This is a pretty fundamental concept. She is not lying, you simply need to mentally append the words "right now" to whatever she is saying. You can embrace the words of a woman like you might embrace the sound of rain on a tin roof. It can be calming, or it can be aggravating. But it is silly to be mad at the rain, it simply is what it is.

Whenever you are surprised by your woman's actions, and you say to her, "But you said…," you are forgetting that she has a feminine essence. What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky: well-formed, coherent, and unrecognizable moments later. The cloud is an expression of the precise physics of water, wind, and air. Your woman's words are expressions of the physics of her feelings, your relationship, and the nuances of the present situation, seen and unseen. A moment later, these factors will change, and so will your woman's expressions.

this is a feminine trait. If you wish to have feminine women in your life, accept that this comes with it.

You might ask her, "Do you want to go to the movies?"

She might reply, "Not really."

Then you hug her and spin her around and say, "Let's go to the movies!"

And she says, "OK!"

She is not talking about her desire to go to the movies. She is talking about the feeling of your relationship in the present moment.If after she said she didn't want to go to the movies, you said fine and sat down to watch TV, you would be missing the point. She is not really saying she doesn't want to go to the movies, even though that is what she's saying.

You can always pull her out of her emotions if you want. You can hug her, lick her forehead, whatever. You do not enter her frame, you pull her into yours. Her words are only a description of her emotions. You can sway her emotions if she trusts your leadership. People say that relationships are work, and it is true. However, most advice says you need more communication, that is the lie. You do not need to communicate, you need to lead. This is why we talk about red flags, so that you can find a woman deserving of the work. All you men who have been shit on, think of how good it will feel to love a woman who appreciates it and craves it. Once you accept and embrace the ways of a woman, you can free yourself of the anger.

This is not lying. For a man, or for anyone speaking in the masculine style, to say something that is not true is lying. But, for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings. The "truth" of the feminine is whatever she is really feeling, in this present moment.

So, when she says that she wants to move to Pittsburgh with you, and then, after you have sold the house, she says she doesn't want to move with you, don't start yelling, "But you said…!" When she first told you she wanted to move, she was feeling good about the relationship. When she then told you she doesn't want to move, she was feeling bad about the relationship. Instead of arguing about what she said or didn't say, establish love in the intimacy first.

The basic rule is this: Don't believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it. And even then, know that she is probably talking about her current feelings, not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talking about. Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do, unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it. And then, expect her to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change. Remember that a woman's feelings may be more sensitive to an unseen realm of nature than are yours. Try to differentiate between your woman's shifting moods and her sensitive wisdom.

I have never had a shit test in the afterglow of sex once I understood this concept. This is the most intimate time you will spend with your girl. You should use it to discuss things of an emotional nature. Listen to the words a woman says after you have fucked her right. Those are the truest words from her you will get.

Women are not liars, although they often seem that way to men. This is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own decisions, based on the deepest truth he can fathom. Otherwise, if he bends his course of truth to compromise for his woman's current and changing expressions, he will probably end up blaming her.

You should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth carefully. Then, after you have fully considered her input, make your best possible decision from your own deep core. This way, if your woman subsequently changes her mind, you won't resent her for compromising your path. Rather, you can enjoy her subtle sensitivity and changing emotional weather patterns. You can proceed with or modify your actions in full gear, knowing you are always making the best choice available to you, having taken her depth of wisdom—and her fluctuations of expression and mood—wholly into account.

Notice is says hear her, not listen to her. You should hear her the way a captain of a ship would hear his first officer. "sir, iceberg ahead". Yes, hear it. She is also invested in you and the relationship, she has observations. Hear her, and then steer your own course.