Good day ladies.
I wanted to share my experience this holiday and hear if anyone else experience this, and how you deal with it. But also I just want to hear what people think about it.

So a little backstory, I am a 21-year-old female from Denmark, so already there, my values and politics are vastly different from generally everyone in my country. So this holiday I was going to my parents for Christmas, it was me and my parents and my sisters. Every time I spend time with my parents, there are fights between me and my sister (15y/o) and I always go home feeling like a giant hit has been taken to my self-esteem. My family is none religious (which is absolutely fine), very sex-positive, generally, very relaxed parents, swearing a lot. So of course, growing up with them, I was not the one shying away from swearing, making sex jokes, and generally being as provoking as I could be. I moved out when I was 16, and through these years, I have turned my life around in a good way, taking back my faith, I stopped swearing, I never talk about private matters like sex, ever and I really try to embrace my femininity in hobbies.

But every time I go home, despite it being so long since I lived there, it's like they can't tell I have changed. They will constantly say "when did you change that?" or "you never minded this before?" and it makes me feel so sad, because I have changed so much, and I know I have. But they don't recognize it? Do they seem to think I have gotten worse? Blaming my change on my Asperger.

My sister and I, constantly fight over these differences. She swears a lot, and often calls me the b-word, c-word, fat, and all other words. I ask her to stop, and she just straight up says no, when I then look to my mom, she says "you are an adult, I am not going to mess with it" when I do talk back to my sister, and it starts a fight, my mom blames me for starting a fight.

My sister and mom also openly talk about my sister and mom's sex life. They can do what they want, she is not my child and my mom is an adult. but I really don't want to listen to it. I asked them not to talk about it around me, and they call me sensitive.

My mom often calls me masculine, because I am not very talkative (you know, that kind of things people with Asperger's generally not are) and because I never been the type to hang around men and taking them home with me. That comment made me so angry.

It's getting harder and harder to visit my family, I love my family so much, despite all this. I would never turn my back on them. But every time I visit, I feel so bad.

Does anyone else feel this way? how do you handle it? I feel so lost and alone in this feeling.

It's my first post ever on reddit, so to be sure I didn't post it wrong, I put it on off-topic. I am sorry if it's wrong.

God bless you all.