Part One Here, mostly an introduction and backstory (tl;dr I file my divorce papers and three days later manage to secure my first number in somewhat spectacular fashion)
This is Part Two of the years-ago story of how I rescued myself from my divorce, was reminded of the enduring principles of TRP by breaking my favorite plate, but had a blast doing it. Strap in.
This is partially for entertainment, but I'll do little tl;drs in each major section to keep it TRP. Note I am half a decade out of The Game at the time of the story (and less than a week off filing my divorce papers), so this is a lesson in both success and failure.
MAIN TAKEAWAYS YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS
- How to make the date experience fun
- The importance and mechanics of constant escalation
- How to use social settings to boost your perceived SMV and build attraction with your date
Cast of Characters From Part One:
- JC - my Colombian brother from another. ♫Imagine if we never met the broskis♫
- Vanessa - That One Girl...also Colombian. You missed out on seeing what she looks like, come back for part three
6:30AM - The Aftermath
I wake up on a deck chair. I realize I'm on JC's rooftop pool. Fuck, it's breezy up here! Wait...it's cold because I'm not wearing my blazer. I realize the girl passed out next to me is wearing it. She's an ex-pro soccer player with practically no bodyfat, can't blame her for that theft. JC and the girl he pulled are passed out a few chairs over. But that's for another FR...
1:00PM - At The Outdoor Bar
We're out nursing our hangovers with the classic cure - the hair of the dog and some sunshine. Before I left, Vanessa was teasing that she would come pick me up, so I figure the best way to ask her out is to text her "I'm at [outside bar]. When are you picking me up?" We banter a bit after she denies saying it - I quickly realize we're texting too much.
So I do the unthinkable...and call her. We chat logistics quickly. Rooftop bar, 9pm-ish. Click.
What Have I Done Right So Far?
- Abundance - Stuck with my original mission and didn't drop everything for Vanessa
- Outcome Independence - Pulled the night before, so why wouldn't I be able to do it again if she didn't respond? This attitude comes through in your communication.
- Text for logistics - didn't let that drag on and shot my shot right away. Girls will literally thank you for calling them, it's that rare now.
8:30PM - The Rooftop Bar
JC suggested your stereotypical bougie hotel rooftop. I knew there'd be a wait so I came an hour early.
Pro Tip: ISOLATE. You're not going to do as well (with a date) floating in a 3-deep barside crowd as you will at a small table, especially at a nice place.
I flirted with the hostess(es) and said I wanted a particular 2-3 spots once one freed up. I got the spot I wanted - it helps to look like you know what you're doing on the first date, it's a form of preselection. She arrives and sees me right away - it's on.
We're still strangers at this point, so I start with the basics. Turns out she specializes in behavioral therapy with autistic kids! I say, "Wow Vanessa, that's perfect! You'll know how to manage me perfectly!" Keep it funny and interesting. A few $18 drinks later, it's going well....so it's time to move the venue.
- Establish yourself at the venue if you can - gelling with the staff and being "in the scene" is freebie social proof
- Move the venue regularly to keep the excitement going
11:00PM - Food Interlude
If you want to go out until 4am, you have to pad your stomach. The best way to fuck up a good night (date or no date) is getting too drunk. We walked to a casual joint nearby the club I wanted to take us to next - I told her to sit on my side of the booth. This made for easy escalation; I've got the cover of the table to feel up her legs, squeeze her ass, all the works while we wait for the food. Always Be Escalating.
I hit up JC via text - the squad is already at the club and has a table. It's time to move venues again.
12:00PM - The Club
Some fun facts: there are two ways not to pay cover as a dude. First, bring a 3:1 ratio of 7/10+ girls and be upfront with the doorman. Second, have a table. Lucky #2 for me here, so we get waved in.
We're in a mixed group, all polyglot Spanish speakers. I intro Vanessa to the group, pour two drinks from our table bottle...and turn all my attention to the dance floor and the rest of the group. This accomplishes two things: vet how Vanessa hangs in the group, get some push/pull and more social proof going, and withdraw attention for a bit.
I dance with one of the girls in the group while Vanessa jabbers with the others. Make "friends" on the dance floor, work the room, the works. After a solid hour of this, I grab Vanessa and pull her onto the dance floor. From here on out there's not much talking - dance floor makeouts, grinding, and brief breaks to the table are about it. I've got all my attention on Vanessa and we're vibing.
- If you like to party, make sure the girl gets along with your friends. If she doesn't, you are probably blind to some red flag
- For those that partake in the club, use the room to your advantage. You're a fun guy who works the room - make that visible to your accompaniment
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder - vibrant social settings are great to pull away a little. When you come back to her, get touchy and sexual because that keeps the emotional rollercoaster going.
2:30AM - Logistics Hit the Wall
I can tell Vanessa is getting tired and the club is showing no signs of cooling down. I'm having a blast but realize I need to address this issue. I pull her aside and get ready to talk logistics - how'd she get here, where does she live, and (to myself) how am I getting myself there?
Turns out the respective answers are "she drove" and "far as fuck away". Uh oh. I'm now in a bind because I hadn't thought about my closing mechanics AT ALL. I'm staying with JC who is nowhere near ready to leave.
Getting a hotel room feels desperate, I hamster to myself. Plus she'd have to move her car there! I start inventing a million reasons it's not happening tonight. This attitude creates a self fulfilling prophecy.
I walk Vanessa to her car around the block from the club. We make out heavy, my mind is racing. I call shotgun. She calls my bluff. Fuck, hail mary comes up incomplete.
I tell her I want to see her next weekend - she obliges. I tell her "we'll start at [hotel closer to where she lives], show me the best Colombian food. Saturday night is AirBNB on the beach." She gives a sly smile and tells me that she loves the plan. Partial victory, but no close. C'est la vie....but I'm feeling good about next weekend!
What Did I Do Wrong?
- No plan to close - I didn't find out until crunch time where she lived, and wasn't staying by myself. That's a lot to improv when facing LMR.
- Male hamster - I sealed by own fate by bitching out and not trying to close then and there. If she's down to be in a hotel with me all next weekend, she would've done the same right there.
- Failure to lead - I waited until she was visibly getting tired to make a move. Partially fits into "failure to plan" but I partially entered her frame when I walked her to the car.
ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF HOW TO BREAK A PLATE IN THREE MONTHS
The weekend at the hotel and the beach goes spectacularly
I start to gradually overinvest in Vanessa and develop oneitis
It all comes crashing down when I take her to my buddy's wedding, but the mistake is a teaching opportunity so you, dear reader, don't do the same!