Swift edit from 1st downvoted post: Title should read 'Debunking the "women DON'T only date alphas" straw man!

Summary: To answer the straw man used against TRP regularly “if women only date alphas, why is she dating THAT loser?”: Women regularly date betas for their potential, then drop them when that potential is not realised. A man failing to work on becoming alpha without the hand of a woman guiding him plays with knives. A man not fully unplugged may think he’s been saved from TRP by the fabled Unicorn. My friend, that unicorn may very well be a dragon in disguise once you break frame and lose your gains.

There was a recent post on PPD about “why do women date sensitive skinny musicians who write soppy, sometimes whiney love songs?” (Go look it up as links to inside Reddit aren’t allowed). Most of the responses were spot on. Beta behavior is contextual, hypergamy is sub-culturally sensitive, and a high-status, attractive male like a celebrity or model can get away with writing some really emo shit where your average Joe would be forever assigned to the beta orbiter harem for even entertaining such thoughts.

So, what happens when a guy who is by no accounts presently alpha, somehow succeeds in bagging a girl through a serenade etc.? My understanding of the rationale for that has always been fairly simple.

Aside from being gynocentric, which pleases women since it gives them power, talent, musical or otherwise, in a beta or even an omega, is hypergamous potential.

Therefore, most average SMV women who are not too immature/controlled by Princess syndrome, are willing to "give him a chance", genius of a poor brooding tortured soul with low self-esteem that he is.

A more cynical and scientific way of viewing this is that it's far from uncommon for average women of middling SMV, once realising alphas are currently out of their graph, to try to turn average men into higher-status alphas by tapping into their 'potential'. It’s part of temporarily lowering their standards by “playing the long game” of hypergamy, as described by u/exit_sandman. [see PPD thread on “Women have an innate 6th Sense of Alpha males”]

Obviously, a beta has no chance with a hot babe of higher SMV unless he wants to be cuckolded or under paranoia-inducing passive dread game 24/7. Higher SMV women have no need to attempt to settle, they just reach for the alphas and get them. Still, this leaves many fairly attractive women engaging with a beta, attempting to mould him into an alpha. It’s far from uncommon, especially within girls of the 16-22 age range dating for the first time.

I think that young men, especially incels and AFCs, are drawn into a terrible lie here. They come to believe that they, a poor beta shmuck, have finally met the unicorn and reached the jackpot. NO. We need to realize that dating as an un-established Alpha is not a miracle but a massive shit-test. Remember that a woman’s love is unconditional 90% of the time; sure NAWALT, but treat all guns as loaded until proven otherwise. She is waiting for you to realize your potential-and this may not be anything as tangibly material or ‘shallow’ as looks or money, but it may well be you sharpening your social skills, or sprucing up your wardrobe, showing integrity and not being hamstered out of a decision, or kicking a noticeable bad habit-i.e. waiting for you to otherwise stepping up your game. She has no intention of dating your pathetic beta form forever, whatever those feelz tell you. If you take nothing else from this thread, take this.

Despite the “long game” being a not altogether foolish strategy, it is a risky one with highly variable success rates, without some excellently played dread on her part, or a man having strong external incentive to become alpha (e.g. she has tangibly higher SMV, or he develops oneitis). I only have my own personal experience (which may cloud my mind with projection/confirmation bias, and I would rather not disclose here) and experience of that which I have observed, both in my own lifetime and from my readings online inside and out the Manosphere.

I have observed an omega can begin to act beta with the help of a woman’s love and guidance (that is, female validation) and a beta can begin to act alpha with their help too. However, this quickly and tragically falls apart near the end of the honeymoon period, as she begins to realise that the potential is either not what she thought it would be, or will not be achieved in a long enough timespan for her to otherwise endue his pathetic beta/omega moments.

When the woman withdraws her approval, if he hasn't been reconditioned yet from seeking it from time in monk mode, perhaps still blugged in to BP mode…he'll just slip back into beta/omega mentality and lose what image he'd created of himself. Attraction fades soon after.

The feeling of watching the person you considered your friend walk away from you as you slip from the mountain top is one of the most powerful anti-biotic nukes for TRP you will ever experience.

Now, you probably know of this already, but recent initiates are unaware of the degree that BP conditioning permeates the mainstream to delude you into a false sense of security, while women are freshly armed with it on a regular basis. Psychologists and feminists are trying to wake women up to the fact they're not exploiting the hamster and actually giving betas a chance, with thinly veiled titles for articles such as "are you dating a project partner?" and "don't be a fixer-upper". Young women tend to experience this rhetoric for the first time at around the early to mid 20s, usually after attempts to mould a beta have crashed and burned. From this point onwards, she will be much more likely to seek out alphas over betas, and have less sympathy for men who remind her of the beta who failed to live up to her expectations.

edit: Apologies for the sub that I can't find a Psychology Today article at present as I need sleep, but here's a few psychology and women's mag blogs on the subject:

http://www.sanluisobispo.com/2014/01/14/2875577/fixer-uppers-boyfriends-leave.html

http://madamenoire.com/534759/signs-hes-fixer-upper/

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/are-you-dating-a-fixer-upper/#.VYs6SEttdD0**

http://esteemology.com/why-you-should-avoid-the-fixer-upper-man-and-the-broken-wing-theory/ -> I especially like this one for demonstrating the point, that women are warned a man with issues to work through, is actually a narcissist baiting them, hah

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=l_YUzyiiEHEC&pg=PA228&lpg=PA228&dq=fixer+upper+relationships+psychology+today&source=bl&ots=O5CyvjHQ_K&sig=ypoV0Nsvrsr8co-d1BS72U0Ozz0&hl=en&sa=X&ei=QTqLVZGjHObU7AaU24D4Ag&ved=0CFMQ6AEwCA#v=onepage&q=fixer%20upper%20relationships%20psychology%20today&f=false

and this , for openly showing that some women try to remodel men into someone they think is more attractive

http://captainawkward.com/2011/01/17/reader-question-4-my-friend-is-dating-someone-terrible-or-secrets-of-the-darth-vader-boyfriend/

http://captainawkward.com/2012/05/31/261-i-keep-falling-for-fixer-uppers/

http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/Dating/5-Tips-To-Stop-Dating-Fixer-Upper-Guys.aspx

etc. Google the rest. Christ there's even revisionist criticism by Tumblr feminists on Frozen's song "He'a Fixer-Upper" for sending the wrong message to young girls about dating losers.

You’ll see a common theme in most of these. “Fuck that fixer-upper loser” “You deserve better than to settle for a man with faults; you think it’ll get better in time, but it won’t. In fact, he may even be guilt-tripping you into feeling sorry for him as his way of keeping you under his thumb.” According to the new feminist rhetoric, the so-called project boyfriend or “fixer upper” is at best a figure of pity, at worst a controlling abuser in the making, a manipulative narcissist, another 'OMG misogynist ew' to throw on the rejection pile.

The honeymoon phase ends when women stop catering towards the Madonna and Manic Pixie Dream Girl side of the maternal-erotic spectrum, finally desensitizing to the oxytocin and dopamine rushes you provided, and start turning towards the Whore side for the next big high. This is pretty much the time she starts to tire of waiting for your potential to be realized, and sees that you may be just another beta. Your game is on a knife edge at this point, men. There will come a point where a man needs to be aware that his girlfriend is not his mother and as such will only cater towards the maternal beta/omega-nurturing side of the maternal-erotic spectrum for so long, before fishing for a more alpha man.

It is of course in the world’s interests to pretend that women only have this maternal side, until it is too late-and then, for feminism to shame the men who did not acknowledge the erotic side as misogynists repressing women’s freedom of sexual expression and autonomy. Remember, accountability for their part in perpetuating male disposability is anathema to their control of your balls, they will not give you it. This is one of the crucial faulty lessons recovering Nice Guys have to face up to and reject, and unfortunately, most have to learn it the hard way.

It’s my opinion, from a private traumatic past experience, that it is better to remain FA/incel, or better yet in monk mode, than it is to risk an LTR with someone who convinces you that they “love you for who you are” only to kick you when the chips are down. We all know better than to 100% trust, and the illusion of modern love. But I’d posit many here would have issues with experiencing a total loss of control. At the very least, experiencing that you can be motivated to become alpha with enough incentive of a woman’s affections is a powerful confidence boost. But this method of self-improvement is reliance on a crutch with hidden blades on its handles. Tasting the way of the alpha guided by a woman’s hand to then plummet back to rock bottom when she seemingly at random decides to discard you as a poor investment can, if unprepared, send one to the bowels of a depression.

Thus, security is an illusion. Frame is essential to self-preservation.

Women regularly date betas for their potential, drop them when that potential is not realised. Omegas can turn beta and betas turn alpha when women give them their approval, but a man plugged in to gynocentric needs will fall apart again when she withdraws that approval-given that women's expectations of a beta's potential are realised less than 50% of the time in the woman's mind. This can even be true when the beta has made tangible gains in SMV; rarely will this be enough to satisfy her ideals. Feminists and psychologists are actively encouraging women to not date men without sufficient potential realised within a foreseeable time period, that is, "fixer-uppers".

Imo, any man who wants to become naturally alpha in an LTR requires time in monk mode before entering the sexual marketplace for the sake of his mental health, or firmly stick to plate spinning. Too often do men, especially young men of late high school college age get ensnared into the traop of the Unicorn. And of course remember that attraction is amoral; the 17 year old girlfriend who took pity on you but liked your schmaltzy poetry or lyrics in high school, may well become the 21 year old ex who ditched you for the frontman of the new band on the cover of Rolling Stone, tiring of your shitty garage band that she once claimed to love going nowhere.

Lessons learned:

• Remain skeptical of ostensible Unicorns, especially as one approaches any life transition stage e.g. graduating high school, college, new job

• Practice Frame and monk mode before entering the SMP

• Feel the difference between improving for yourself and improving out of fear of rejection; one is crucial to the road of self mastery, the other is amoral, almost impossible to please and may well kill you when you try

• Read between the lines of outside media on relationships counseling, etc., fenminism has its own code-words for betas

• If you must degenerate to beta displays of affection, disguise it within a talent that denotes SMV, or of course wait until you've already DHV