About women finding 80% of men unattractive: is it really hypergamy or are most men just f*cking ugly?

SlashCo80 · 2020-02-29T14:25:09+00:00

A lot of guys are indeed unattractive, and present themselves online even worse. It's a combination of not putting effort into their appearance and not knowing how to take a good picture. You'd be surprised what a difference good clothes and a haircut, plus proper angles and lighting can make. Most guys either don't know or don't care about that, or think it's "gay".

FrustratedBlueberry · 2020-02-29T14:24:37+00:00

I have seen dating app pictures of men I know... Many of them choose really terrible pictures of themselves.

extrachromozomes · 2020-02-29T19:08:24+00:00

Most guys don’t even try to make themselves look better

OXOzymandias · 2020-02-29T17:47:39+00:00

Not only that but i think that women are taking care of them self in better way, honestly i see more and more gurls a the gym, i feel like they are more apppealing nowadays compare to the early 2010s, and because of body positivity, curvy, skinny, normal, shy, extravert gurls are celabrated.

Dudes better put into some work, i mean recently a girl told me that i was a 5/6, i am not, i told her if she was sincere, she said, wait for it, for man you are easly a 5/6, compare to girls you are 4,5 at best.

Damn.

DeuxPistolets · 2020-02-29T14:40:55+00:00

For OP-

Just curious... What’s your age? What age range were the men you were looking at? I also wonder how how much location plays into this.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-02-29T14:29:02+00:00

Lots of men don't really take a lot of pictures of themselves, and as you've seen, the guys who get on dating apps aren't always the pick of the litter

dylang92 · 2020-02-29T16:14:34+00:00

Ugly? No, but average? Absolutely. Average in terms of sex/dating is still unattractive mind your, but ugly would imply that people actively try to be away from you, or just don’t want to look at you. Most men are just average though, and women feel at best apathy toward them.

Andress1 · 2020-02-29T20:55:41+00:00

On tinder I would say 95% are unattractive. So many guys don’t know how to use photos/angles to their advantage. In real life 80% seems about right. Most men are overweight, don’t take care of their skin or hair, don’t dress well. And obviously height is huge for women—I have so many female friends that explicitly state a guy has to be 6ft or taller. I think that might change if they fell for a guy who was shorter through being his friend first, but those guys won’t be able to easily get casual sex.

But while men may be more generous with looks for a woman, I think that’s mostly just for casual sex and dating. Men only give women they find really attractive commitment. The rest get fuckzoned.

Feyra · 2020-02-29T17:21:38+00:00

most dudes are NOT decent looking, at least on dating apps.

Consider the context. On non-curated dating apps you're often looking at lazy men, extreme introverts, men with few or no options, and dudes looking to get their dick wet. It's entirely unreasonable to expect a fair representation of men in general. I've had good dates from dating apps, but they're overwhelmed by the flood of undesirables.

The same goes for women. If a man is looking for a decent relationship on a dating app, he'll need to swipe through oodles of single mothers, swingers, crazies, and fatties. I've done the same experiment and at least 80% of women's profiles have huge red flags.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-02-29T14:19:49+00:00

Both. Female hypergamy and men are not really putting effort in their looks.

Another reason for obvious hypergamy is male thirst for sex. Desperate guys would fuck anything.

When I was on a dating app for sex, so many guys were sending dick pics to me. I even think that when guys cant get anything from women, they go "bi".

YveisGrey · 2020-02-29T17:30:22+00:00

Yep even average to unattractive women wear makeup, dye their hair, get hair cuts, know their angles, dress nice etc.. yes men are less picky than women but many also put zero effort into their looks than wanna complain that women don’t find them attractive. Attracted to what?? You’re balding, fat, and don’t know how to take a decent picture or even dress well. I was shocked when I made an online profile as well seeing the types of guys on there. But in all of my pictures there is good lighting, my hair is styled, I have a some makeup etc... Men think putting any semblance of effort into their appearance makes the “gay” um okay then don’t get upset women are swiping left.

ontherailstoday · 2020-02-29T22:46:17+00:00

Women who are similarly "challenged" by looking/presenting like a shit sandwich do not often hang around in those places long because the ugly unattractive unkempt men are surprisingly entitled in attitude and will freely and happily berate their female equivalents, insulting them mercilessly and making the whole exercise pointless.

I suggest you try another experiment... make an account that is you (same age, similar deets) but adapted to be a woman who is about as attractive as those dudes. Get suitable photos. Start interacting. See how many guys contact you just to insult you. See how you get treated when you want to exercise ordinary reasonable caution such as wanting to talk off and on for a fair number of weeks before meeting or not wanting to send nudes. And tell me how long you'd last in that environment if you were a woman.

This is why I think the OKCupid study is bullshit and means nothing about the world outside OKC. The site does not represent the general population and does indeed have more unattractive men than the general community... and not more ugly women.

Tonga89 · 2020-02-29T14:41:19+00:00

Yes.

Biodiversity it is more present and on a wide specter of shapes, forms and colours in men than women, this is well documented and has lots of scientifical bases.

From the height to weight, diseases, distribution of strenght, speed, reflexes and even IQ, women and men are shaped different. There is, of course, and "average" man, but he's far less common to find than average women, becouse men's physiometry and biology tends to go for the extremes. That's why there is more short men than short women but also the tallest are men. That means there are a lot of dumb men, more than women in fact, but the men that are smart, like Tesla, Einstein, Paganini or Da Vincci make the smartest and most talented women look life monkeys.

And that means also that, yes, women on average are more beautiful, becouse there are more ugly men than ugly women. But like Esther Vilar said once in his book "The emasculated man"... "If I was an alien visiting Earth and had to take with me the most perfect living form of this planet to show to my peers, there is no doubt I would take a man", and then she goes on to describe a Chad with all details.

So yes, on average men are uglier than women, but the good looking men are incredibly alluring to women. Hence the redpillers myth of the "Alpha widow", wich is in my opinion a very acurate observation of something that happens quite a lot in real life.

ChewedandDigested · 2020-02-29T18:27:41+00:00

[deleted]

goatismycopilot · 2020-02-29T15:13:36+00:00

Men are also bad at taking pictures.

Skratt · 2020-02-29T14:54:53+00:00

Thank you for understanding. They are repulsive on those apps D:

wtknight · 2020-02-29T15:29:44+00:00

Most women just don't find many men sexually attractive. It's a genetic mechanism to ensure that "inferior" genes aren't passed down to the next generation. This is why unrestrained female sexuality is good for the species but bad for social stability, and why a compromise approach between the sexuality of both sexes is probably the best approach.

ResponsibleCharacter · 2020-02-29T20:50:48+00:00

OLD selects for low value, low effort men. They think they can put up a couple trash pictures of their trash selves and get laid. Swiping for pussy like they’re ordering a burger or something.

If you go into public in your area you will see a lot more normal looking dudes, including many who are at least somewhat physically attractive. Most of them are either taken or don’t date using OLD.

But yeah as a female the men on those apps, especially Tinder, are bleak lmao.

2020-02-29T17:44:28+00:00

I find most men are attractive until they speak.

acron5n5 · 2020-02-29T15:03:12+00:00

Your question implies there's some objective measure of attractiveness that exists independently. However, are most men ugly or not is defined solely by their perception in the eyes of women. So if, like you suggested, most dudes are ugly for women it means they indeed are.

Hypergamy in turn is just a handy word for something that obviously exists in reality.

joesmithasdf · 2020-02-29T18:43:36+00:00

I’ve seen that parade of boring guys, it’s easy. Just use a female friend’s phone or make a fake account yourself. Around half of men are indeed below average but that’s expected. The other half is taking shitty pics. You know those “old people pics” showing their nostrils, dumb bathroom selfies.

Most men don’t have female friends, and are ashamed of asking males to help. Men will always shit test other men calling stuff gay, unless you shrug it off.

Since I’m on good terms with my ex, I just dragged her around nice neighborhoods on sunny days, art exhibitions, museums (they have good lighting). We took some pics on each place, it’s free. My luck has improved a lot on apps since that. I think I should bite the bullet and hire a pro photographer, though.

crookedsummer2019 · 2020-02-29T14:46:56+00:00

This is basically how my single female friend explains it: Dating apps are primarily hook up apps. If man just wants to hook up he’s going to take whatever opportunity comes his way as long as she passes his boner test. He is more likely to look past a few extra pounds, a flat ass or whatever is less than what he is usually attracted to. For some guys it’s just one level up from his hand. The ‘Sex is better than no sex’ logic.

If a woman just wants to hook up, her lady boner is much more fickle. Women typically don’t hook up with so so guys just for the sake of getting laid, because women typically prefer their vibrator over sex with a guy they are not very attracted to ( which is why those incels who fantasize about a world where women have no choice but to fuck them is a pipe dream because those women will choose vibrators over them, but that’s another topic).

So, if she’s going to slut it up, she will likely want to pick the best option for that and the best option is the hottest guy she can get. And because men are less picky when it comes to hook ups, an average girl offering sex to a hot guy is 9/10 going to lead to that hot guy having sex with the average girl.

So I don’t think it’s because so many men are unattractive, maybe it’s because women are looking for the most attractive they can possible get for a hook up, when, in any other context, the more average guy would be given more attention for dating etc. For a hook up it’s all about how hot he is, how fit etc. Women can live out the fantasy of sex with a hot guy more then men can live out the fantasy of sex with a hot girl but that doesn’t mean women have more value, because a guy having sex with her could just mean she is one level up from his own hand.

VetteVet83 · 2020-02-29T14:30:36+00:00

If you peel off the makeup and filters, a large amount of women are unattractive also.....and FAT.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-02-29T14:47:58+00:00

If they were attractive they would not need dating apps to get laid.

AutoModerator · 2020-02-29T14:13:53+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2020-02-29T14:33:08+00:00

OP. You lik what you like

Workaholiconew · 2020-02-29T17:20:36+00:00

Hypergamy. In no moment you even considered the market supply.

Which men do. Is it that hard to think of the supply?

souadezz · 2020-02-29T22:02:38+00:00

most are just ugly .and smell bad :(

HumanSockPuppet · 2020-03-01T02:34:33+00:00

You don't seem to know what average means.

No wonder women don't major in STEM and wind up with lower salaries lol.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2020-03-01T03:05:03+00:00

Occam's razor. What is more likely? That, suddenly, with the advent of online dating, 80% of men are hideous. Or that there are evolutionary reasons why women are hyper-picky? I say the latter.

PierceTheEye · 2020-03-01T08:22:55+00:00

Online dating is for losers. People of highest value do not need it and do not use it.

pample_meese · 2020-03-01T08:58:47+00:00

Dudes don’t give a shit about anything and then wonder why we don’t love them, after we bend over backwards to look hot. Yes, this is true. Yes it’s nurture, not nature. When men care, they’re much sexier.

Ilivetowork · 2020-03-01T13:12:52+00:00

So many are hideous looking and the pics they choose, just why. Unshaven, bad angle, tongue out. One had a pic of him half naked with giant beer gut holding a deer head with dripping blood . I don’t think these men are looking for a woman . Honestly I don’t understand it.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-02-29T18:51:33+00:00

Well... let's rank everybody from 1 to 10 and see how the statistics and curves graph out. I think it's probably a standard deviation with 4/5/6 in the hump and a few 1's and a few 10's. The thing is, women never have needed to date their true equals. Women date across and up social hierarchies and men date across and down. And even dating/mating ACROSS is rife with risk and liability because she has so many options. Okay, so he dates down. Problem solved - 20 years ago. NOW, even a 3 or 4 - she has 1,000 simps and orbiters trying to get into her oversized panties.

The point is the mating arena is skewed right now due to feminism, simping, fat acceptance, slut acceptance and the general acceptance of AF/BB behavior. Because men simp and white-knight for women they'll never sleep with, women continue to use some men for "stuff" and other men for sex.

Now, I sound like an ANGRY MGTOW here, but I say... GOOD FOR WOMEN! They're holding all the cards!!

So... why are so many of them unhappy? Because "free love" with Chad and using simps for resources is not very nice, and when you don't do nice things, you don't feel very nice. OH NO DID I JUST SHAME SOMEONE!?! hahahaha I hope so.

thedeadpill · 2020-02-29T16:22:59+00:00

Is it really high standards or are many dudes not as “average” as we think?

The study that rated men concluded that "Women rated 80% of men as worse looking than average." There's an important set of words in there.

The statement itself is nonsensical; that means an individual woman participant in this data set, unless they were forced to rate men in a particular order of most attractive to least, would simply find that 80% of her sample pool was less attractive than 'average'.

Basically, it demonstrates that the participant doesn't intuitively understand the concept of 'average', or what 'average' might look like. Obviously, obligatory not-all-women, but, if you have a huge pool of participants and there is a consistent result, it shows that there is something specific to women that causes this poor intuition of averages.

The conclusion that you could draw is that the average man is just not attractive, as you suggested by your use of the word 'ugly'.

^I'm ^very ^much ^trying ^to ^write ^this ⁱⁿ ^a ^way ^that ^makes ^it ^sound ^like ^I ^don't ^hate ^women, ^but ^it's ^hard ^to ^say ^women ^have ^a ^demonstrable ^widespread ^defect ⁱⁿ ^reasoning ^without ^sounding ^like ^a ^misogynist.

imnotfeelingsogood69 · 2020-02-29T20:58:57+00:00

How do you know that it's the men that are the issue and not you?

Also, women are fatter than men: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d8jli3/new_study_shows_that_women_might_be_much_fatter/

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-02-29T15:28:40+00:00

Hypergamy is a bullshit term that means nothing because everyone is trying to find the best they can get.

Women have a lower sex drive so they’re not as enthused by a pretty face as men are. Also, straight guys dont put much effort into their appearance.

Adam Driver is a 4/10 but because he puts in effort into his appearance and is photogentic, he becomes a 6 or 7.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-02-29T16:46:04+00:00

Both. Men aren’t putting enough effort into their appearance, and even if they did, generations of dysgenic patriarchal forced pairings has created a population of genetically unfit and undesirable men. It will take a few generations of free sexual selection to bring back gene pool quality.

DangZagnut · 2020-02-29T14:58:20+00:00

The internet shows everyone. so guys you don't even see and are invisible to you, like homeless people, IRL, you have to actively swipe left on, on an app looking for studs.

When you find 80% of men below average, that means 4/5 swipes look ugly for you, and you have to swipe them. Of the remaining 1/5, half of those are "average", so really only half of that 1/5, to 10% of the profiles you see are attractive to you.

Your brain doesn't just magically avert your eyes like at the club or on a sidewalk, you have to actively process their looks before swiping, so the appearance to you is that there's all these 4/5 ugly guys, but it's just an extension of what you do IRL, where you also find 4/5 guys ugly or "below average", not to mention whatever entitlement standards you have on top of just looks.

You can see body language, wealth markers, and a wide variety of information IRL, on Tinder its just a static shot and looks, so you have more engagement and it's causing you an issue because you're forced to interact with those who you automatically filter out in a normal circumstance.

It isn't that these men are more or less repulsive, it's the same people you see throughout your day, you just ignore them normally.

AidsVictim · 2020-02-29T16:09:04+00:00

Unattractive men are over represented on dating apps and I suspect the lower class as well.

In real life I see many decent looking guys (granted it's probably a bit biased by my location). In fact I would say I see only slightly fewer upper tier men than women and most average looking guys are paired up with average looking women.

Women have more obvious secondary sex characteristics/makeup/aesthetic motivation that seems to really skew a lot of people perceptions.

WestAtmosphere · 2020-02-29T18:34:07+00:00

All the men I have dated I didn’t necessarily find unattractive but I wasn’t over the moon when I met them. I became attracted to them after I got to know them personally. But most men I’m just not attracted to in general. It’s not to say they are ugly, I’m just not easily swooned by looks ?

Physiologist21 · 2020-02-29T19:09:03+00:00

Lmao fair enough. I don’t think most men are ugly. But I do think the majority of men have no idea how to sell themselves sexually. Look at the bumble subreddit and the profile reviews, you will get a laugh.

Average guy doesn’t look sexy in some graphic t shirt, selfie picture, with his hair unkept. That guy would look sexy in a blazer, maybe with friends at a wedding, about to pop a bottle of champagne.

Men are so out of touch with what women want. Hence, the existence and popularity of the red pill

GreenerGrass4u · 2020-02-29T20:38:22+00:00

I think it depends on your geographic location. I live in southern CA, maybe 75% of the men on tinder have at least one shirtless pic showing off abs and are physically attractive. If you go by any other criteria besides that, such as interesting bio, attractive men percentage drops way down.

NockerJoe · 2020-02-29T21:46:43+00:00

My sister swiped on literal thousands of dudes and only picked a handful. They were always fuckin' ugly. They just took good photos and knew how to hide weird eyes and gap teeth. Sometimes I swipe through dudes to see the competition and there's an obvious divide between ok looking dudes in bad angles and dudes obviously hiding bad features and working filters.

You're not screening for good looking guys. You're screening for good looking photos.

rus9384 · 2020-02-29T23:29:14+00:00

If it was just about not looking ugly, then why are steroids so popular among male OLD users?

But yes, self-presentation is just one factor.

Men also greatly outnumber women on OLD which is a huge factor.

Then, women also are not as proactive, which means without pressure from the outside (there is no pressure to swipe on anybody, besides maybe super-swipe thing, which is why it sometimes works) they get more avoidant towards meeting men.

statsfodder · 2020-02-29T23:51:45+00:00

This post and the following comments had me question if i was in TBP or SRS by mistake.. is there a purge on and not advertised??

ssbmrai · 2020-03-01T00:04:38+00:00

Men are notoriously terrible at taking pictures of anything but scenery. They usually have terrible lighting or bad angles. And a lot of us are straight up ugly or just don't know how to appear attractive. Some men need a haircut. Some need to grow their hair out. Some need to shave. Some need a beard. Some need a wardrobe check. It's a lot of experimentation when it comes down to what's attractive about you. Personally I thought I looked ugly when I was clean shaven and had no hair. Now I've let all the hair on my face and head grow free and I feel pretty attractive. One of the first things my now gf noticed about me was my hair and beard. She probably wouldn't have noticed me without them.

12112019 · 2020-03-01T00:17:23+00:00

it doesn't matter, the outcome is the same

John_Magnus · 2020-03-01T00:37:06+00:00

Men tend to put less effort into their appearance as women do.

Being realistic online dating is not representative of the average male population.

Physiologist21 · 2020-03-01T00:38:42+00:00

What is a bell curve and how does it work?

Sid_Insidious · 2020-03-01T01:37:50+00:00

Didn't take much to scar you for life...

bluefiremagic · 2020-03-01T01:41:58+00:00

Both

Erramayhem89 · 2020-03-01T02:28:00+00:00

It's obvious that it's hypergamy caused by social media and online dating that is causing this. Men and women haven't changed that much.

PMmeareasontolive · 2020-03-01T02:52:20+00:00

I have a bunch of old college yearbooks and when I flip through them I see that women and men are about the same in terms of the occurrence of attractiveness.

I've never made a female profile on an app but back when Craigslist had personal ads I checked out the M4W section. There were some perfectly fine guys there. I'm sympathetic when women say they can't deal with the hassle that is messages from men. But it wasn't that fucking hard to find decent guys or flip through it or whatnot. I think women have a mental block.

richlad · 2020-03-01T03:02:01+00:00

There is no girl who will not be attracted to Jeff Sied.

Even at 13 - he had more muscles than guys who spend 3 years in gym.

Muscles aren't his only selling point - look at hair and face structure. He's more pretty than 90% of girls.

That sad even trumph will be serious competition to Jeff Sied because of his strature/status/familiarity/thickness.

buffysummerrs · 2020-03-01T03:19:21+00:00

Most men do not look like Jensen Ackles and Scott Eastwood. It’s said people are attracted to certain face shapes over noses/eye color/hair. And from what I notice is most men don’t have these broad faces. Now I’m not saying every woman LIKES that, but it’s pretty well known that men like more feminine small faces and women like masculine (think Channing Tatum and Emma Watson).

So if you really like the face shape of I don’t know Chris Evans or Brad Pitt, you’re going to find other men who have similar chin/cheeks/head shape like them attractive OVER the facial features. From what I’ve seen is many men think they attractive because they have blue eyes or something. Uh, that doesn’t make you hot. That’s just a feature and yours can be majorly ugly. Look at Ariana Grande, brown eyes but they’re doe like and big. Where as there’s many female celebrities with blue eyes that are ugllllyyy. That’s why you shouldn’t just assume you’re hot because you’re tall, blonde, have a 6 pack or a certain eye color.

I use Jensen Ackles as a prime example. Though I find Jensen’s eyes dreamy. There’s a Snapchat filter where Jared Padalacki and Jensen Ackles switched faces. Jared actually looked quite attractive with Jensen’s face shape, where as Jensen looked a little weird with Jared’s face shape. (Jared isn’t ugly or anything, but he’s not IMO the hottest.)

So though I do like Jensen’s eyes/demeanor, yada yada. His face shape and hair is actually what makes him look really good.

But anyway, this is why I notice guys don’t understand what women like. They think because they have something awesome in their head. It means women will immediately find them attractive. That’s ridiculous. The other PROBLEM is men don’t take care of themselves. Men don’t wear makeup, so if you’re boring, you’re boring. Men don’t really get surgeries and hair extensions and other cosmetics as extensively as women do. I’ve met loads of men who had potential to be cute, but they don’t care about making their hair hot looking or wearing the new trendy outfits or working out. And then they wonder why girls oooh and ahhh hot guys on Instagram and Chris Evans. Maybe because uh, Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth and all those men takes care of themselves.

2020-03-01T03:47:12+00:00

A little of column A, a little of column B.

jenovajunkie · 2020-03-01T04:34:15+00:00

Women are just fucking with your heads and emotions.

introvertedlion · 2020-03-01T07:34:14+00:00

I cannot say I have done research but, as a bi guy, yes. Females tend to be more attractive then males in general. It may just be preference, but that's my perspective.

DaphneDK42 · 2020-03-01T07:42:52+00:00

Guys are super ugly. If I was a girlie, I'd be a lesbo and find myself a cute girlfriend (none of that nasty trucker girl look!). And we'd go and do fun girly stuff together, like lick pussy 24/7. That's the reason there are so many lesbian "transgirls". They're just guys who want to try the lesbian experience they've seen so many videos of on porntube.

BigBooty-AsianLady · 2020-03-01T07:56:46+00:00

Girls are really good at making themselves look good. Guys aren't. I've gone out with guys that looked fine in person, but were terrible in their profile picture. They had good personalities and a lot of similar interests in me so I gave them a shot without minding their profile picture much.

I ended up marrying a gorgeous lady off of a dating app instead of a guy... so take what you will out of that. Thank goodness I'm bi.

Thetrvler · 2020-03-01T08:08:37+00:00

It’s always been like this due to sheer numbers in men who can carry on the characteristics of being attractive. Somebody has to do the less desirable jobs which trickles down into their personality and habits. It’s seriously been like this since the beginning of time, only difference was women didn’t work enough to support themselves so the my NEEDED a man. Now that they don’t necessarily NEED a man to survive, they’d rather watch the human population die off than get with a man in their own league.

Whenever woman has had the opportunity to think independently, it never works out positively for humanity. Ever. A man inevitably has to come and fix “it” every time. Women hate this but they know it’s the truth.

AnalThrashing · 2020-03-01T08:18:38+00:00

Men don’t have makeup and don’t try as hard to make themselves look really good on social media

rhyth7 · 2020-03-01T10:19:49+00:00

Most men could be very attractive if they took better care of themselves. Most fat ppl are only ugly cuz they're fat.

2020-03-01T14:40:58+00:00

Most men put way less effort into themselves than women do.

Khaba-rovsk · 2020-03-01T17:21:36+00:00

About women finding 80% of men unattractive: is it really hypergamy or are most men just f*cking ugly?

Its a BS meaningless stat put up on subs like this as the gospel.

1556475276 · 2020-03-03T11:53:41+00:00

genes are shared so it cant be that bad. but there might be different inate preferences, for example if one sex looks more to external features like wealth and clothes for attractivity that will not be reached by everyone. there is also the variability hypothesis which might have something to do with it. it might also be cultural, if something pays off people tend to do it.

PM_ME_SPICY_DECKS · 2020-03-04T00:42:42+00:00

I don’t think that studies of dating apps can be applied to people as a whole, only to people who are active on dating apps.

I think a large part of this happening on dating apps is that most men suck at taking pictures of themselves.

A bad photo can make even a beautiful person appear to be much less attractive

SadDoggo45 · 2020-03-06T12:06:43+00:00

I mean if you swipe right for 20% of men, then you have high standards.

I think it is very pretentious to say that average man is ugly. Ugly in comparison to whom?

dumbblunde · 2020-03-12T09:59:57+00:00

men are just really nasty. I find most women attractive and kind.

ukraniankranium · 2020-02-29T15:39:13+00:00

In any other scenario that doesn't involve women, people would think this example is preposterous. This is what you call mental gymnastics.

Obviously, 80% of men are not "unattractive."

MaliaXOXO · 2020-02-29T15:04:42+00:00

I stopped using dating apps because it's hard to find quality men on there much better to meet in real life instead of online

DerekMorganBAU · 2020-02-29T15:10:40+00:00

I ain't no stud but hooking up on dating apps was a breeze. No different than running game in person.

Y'all just weird and goofy and unsuccessful. Not my fault y'all learned game years after most dudes did.

akihonj · 2020-02-29T15:59:55+00:00

So let's get this right then, if men spent as much time on their appearance as women do, they get labelled as vain and shallow.

Men are constantly told it's about their personalities not their looks.

Your making it very clear that a man's personality has little to do with any effect on his chances of dating and it's all about how he looks, therefore the concept of hypergamy is justified by your own post.

Also if you stop to think about it how many women actually spend any time without makeup, not that many and how many of those would post an image without makeup on a dating site, if course those that do would still get attention but nowhere near the amount they'll get when wearing makeup. So in the situation then where a woman has posted wearing makeup it's total justified that a man would only want to meet her for sex given that she's chosen to make her dating all about her looks.

Azubuike_ · 2020-02-29T16:07:39+00:00

Women just take a lot better pictures and put a lot more effort into their looks than most men do. Make up also plays a huge role here, plenty of women don't look that great without it. I think a good skin care routine and a proper understanding on how to dress properly could really benefit a lot of men out there. Quit porn, dress properly, take care of your skin, stop investing into only fans accounts and lift some weights as well.

SDW137 · 2020-02-29T17:52:31+00:00

It's hypergamy, gay guys are not nearly as picky as straight girls.

ToLiveandDieinL8 · 2020-02-29T17:53:26+00:00

Most women are actually unattractive. The difference is they’ll either fake their appearance with makeup, manipulate angles and filters for photos and to hide excess weight. Not to mention women are way more open and willing to go for minor cosmetic surgery procedures. Men are catching up now but things like Botox and lip fillers are very much the domain of women.

However the biggest factor is unattractive men would be happy to end up with an equally unattractive woman. Whereas unattractive women always want to date up- they may even have a few one night stands with guys better looking than them. Doesn’t mean that’s their dating level, just means they passed the minimum threshold for sex. Once they’ve had that prime cut of steak it’s very hard to go back to microwave burgers.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-02-29T18:16:59+00:00

A lot of people are ugly as fuck. But, before the internet and swiping apps and all of that, women and men would both be willing to compromise.

Zippo-Cat · 2020-02-29T19:03:41+00:00

About women finding 80% of men unattractive: is it really hypergamy or are most men just f*cking ugly?

Isn't this the same thing? Women decide which men are attractive and which are not.

mechanical_elves · 2020-02-29T19:27:59+00:00

It's interesting to think about in terms of raw physical appearance. Men and women are coming from the same gene pool, so if men are fucking ugly, that means women are fucking ugly too.

It really makes me wonder how quickly women's arrogance would evaporate if hypothetically the playing field were level, and they couldn't use all these beauty hacks for their face, body, hair, nails, teeth skin etc (a multi-billion dollar industry) to make themselves appear more attractive than they actually are.

Walk out the door with just a shower and 2-3 minutes of of basic grooming, and the mug that God gave you. How pretty will most girls look?

TwentyX4 · 2020-02-29T20:25:11+00:00

No offense, but ... dating apps try to pair you off with people who are roughly as attractive as you are (based on algorithms like Tinder's ELO score). You will literally see different dating options based on how attractive you are. If you're a model-tier man/woman, the dating app will show you model-tier women/men, and the opposite is also true. They do this because - why bother wasting everyone's time by showing model-tier men/women to dorky women/men? I'm not trying to make you feel bad.

It may also be the case that you are more critical of men's looks than most people are. I also think there's a tendency for less attractive people to use dating apps because attractive people have tons of options in the real world. Also, I think your dating options vary dramatically depending on where you're located (cities, rural areas, and suburbs are all going to vary). I've gone to a lot of different countries, and there are some countries (and cities, too) seem to have a lot of women that I don't find attractive. I'm not saying these women are objectively unattractive, but I find them unattractive.

pongaminbloom · 2020-02-29T20:55:59+00:00

Women don't find 80% of men unattractive. It's just that most women don't want casual sex and those who do want it less often. If you're writing an average woman on OLD, chances are she's got 10/10 hunks her inbox offering to spend money on her. She's going to choose them over you, just like you'd choose a 10/10 over her.

The same statistics do not hold true for relationships because the ratio of men to women is more balanced.

-Mavs · 2020-02-29T21:32:19+00:00

Probably that most men are just ugly.

SAME can be said about women but they have MAKEUP TO LIE about their appearance though.

Psych0_W0lf · 2020-02-29T21:33:07+00:00

Usually dudes don't use beauty filters & don't bother to edit their pictures.

Women use make up, men don't....... Unless you are South Korean....... I guess! So those pictures of women you are seeing isn't really their actual natural beauty.......

Usually higher percentage of women falls into fat category. You can fact check online. So fat logic isn't really valid.

Sam_Tahm · 2020-02-29T21:40:02+00:00

If you think 80% of men are "just f*cking ugly", you're the problem not the men

ifelsedowhile · 2020-02-29T21:58:16+00:00

you are probably "aesthetically racist" and see non white men as ugly by default. The US society is increasingly less white and you see "men of color" as less desirable. I suggest you a racial sensitivity training so you'll find short, stocky, brown mexican dudes attractive.

darksoldierk · 2020-02-29T23:00:37+00:00

Yeah, but honestly? Women on dating apps aren't very good to look at either. I mean, there's the one -offs, but haven't guys noticed that? I can't help but feel that the average man or woman on dating apps are left overs. People that aren't attractive enough or good enough to get relationship in the real world. There are exceptions, but those ones are looking for sex. I can't be the only guy who has noticed this.

Texan2116 · 2020-03-01T03:10:30+00:00

when my ex was cheating..I got passwords to her OLD profile...and was astonished by the sheer volume of men who "liked" her. And yes, the vast majority of them were pretty rough looking.

manbaby1769 · 2020-03-01T03:26:23+00:00

If you think most men are fucking ugly then clearly you have an unhealthy male beauty standard, you probably picked it up from advertising, tv, movies, porn, etc

stranglethebars · 2020-02-29T15:25:29+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if what you experienced is quite representative of the general trend, but the question is: if it is the case, how much of it is due to natural looks and how much is due to how people approach grooming and style/presentation?

When it comes to fitness differences between men and women, I'm not sure.

I mean almost grotesquely ugly with shit frames/super fat and the dorkiest, most stupid-looking poses.

So your experiment gave you reason to think that more men than women (at least among the people on those apps) struggle in the fitness department?

abaxeron · 2020-02-29T23:17:41+00:00

You can easily answer this question yourself by browsing pages of random women as well. It will be HOLY SHIT incarnate and will scar you for life even further.

My verdict - it is really low standards of men when it comes to casual sex.

Title	About women finding 80% of men unattractive: is it really hypergamy or are most men just f*cking ugly?
Author	celestialbeingeorge
Upvotes	156
Comments	338
Date	February 29, 2020 2:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fbd1r1/about_women_finding_80_of_men_unattractive_is_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/about-women-finding-80-of-men-unattractive-is-it.341602 https://theredarchive.com/post/341602