This hopeless romantic is in love with your wallet and wants to know where are all the good and chivalrous men who would open their wallets up for her and her crotch goblin spawns with Chad. She wants to be swooped off her feet so she can go shopping while you deal with Chad Jr.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-01-02T14:25:00+00:00

She wants someone to provide and be the man of the house? Isn't she a strong, independent woman?

mr_kuk · 2020-01-02T14:28:19+00:00

Who knew that single motherhood was so tough that all feminist liberation talk flies right out the window and the strong independent woman craves patriarchal oppression? This must somehow be men's fault.

loneliness-inc · 2020-01-02T14:50:56+00:00

Physical therapist at university of mom.

BeCAUse bEinG a MOm iS tHe HArdEsT jOB iN thE wORld!

Unusual_Chair · 2020-01-02T14:28:23+00:00

She looks like she is 45, I do believe she really is 38 though. The party life causes women to age rapidly.

Falln2pieces · 2020-01-02T14:54:01+00:00

It takes a special kind of gross to use your kids in a dating profile. It takes even more gross to use your new born just out of your baby flap pictures. It's like she's trying to guilt someone into taking care of her.

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2020-01-02T14:38:59+00:00

Where are the good men who take care of their bride like a flower and swoop her off her feet? Looking for you Romeo!

I was going to provide some insight, but it appears she answers her own question further up in her profile:

Father not in picture

You had 3 kids with this man, and you either kicked him out or drove him off. As it turns out though, SAHM is only a valid career choice when you have a man to bankroll you. And when you decide to kick out or drive away your meal ticket, "you get what you fucking deserve".

houseoftolstoy · 2020-01-02T15:02:33+00:00

Mommy to 5! (2 boys, 1 girl, 1 cat and 1 dog)

Why us she conflating her pets with her children? Calling your pets your "children" is just downright disturbing, but if she was trying to fill a gap with a lack of children that would be one thing. But if she already has children, what the hell?

Being a single mother with the dad out of the picture already raises questions and acts as a major disqualifier, but any implication of her pets being on the same level as her children is just demonstrating more issues, even if it is just a "joke."

WolfEagle1 · 2020-01-02T15:04:00+00:00

[deleted]

maximo1984 · 2020-01-02T14:48:41+00:00

Looking for a man? Look in the mirror.

harharry · 2020-01-02T14:34:08+00:00

“Age is just a number”

Does that mean she’s a closeted pedo? Sounds suspicious.

loner589 · 2020-01-02T14:20:57+00:00

Her eyebrow look someone edited them on her face.

TaxMeJersey · 2020-01-02T14:33:42+00:00

I'm strong and independent...... Who's GONNA man up and take care of us.......? REEEEEE.....

TerpsMakeMeDrink · 2020-01-02T14:54:41+00:00

I have several questions/comments:

Is she half shar-pei? Look at that forehead. Also, I'm actually quite jealous of her masculine jawline.

Also, did anyone else notice that every picture has the Thousand Cock Stare™?

Thirdly, with the age is just a number thing, I hope she meant she's willing to date a 85 year old. Because what self-respecting younger man is going to say "Y'know, I got my whole life ahead of me. Better go ahead and throw it away so I can wife up some high-mileage, post-wall pussy."

SeekingLevelFive · 2020-01-02T15:00:10+00:00

I was visiting family/friends for NYE this week and when to a party filled with guys either currently dating or now married to single-moms (my dad being one of them). I was literally the only single guy there and 3 of the ladies were talking to me the entire night on/off.

Most of these women were fairly attractive or at least were attractive prior to their 1st+ kids

These ladies ALWAYS have a pool of suitors with open wallets.

We have much work to do.

MadLad2019 · 2020-01-02T15:08:05+00:00

No baby daddy drama!

because he wants nothing to do with me or the kids, which means you need to take care of us.

I love, love and being cuddled

What you like physical positive contact? Wow, that's out there girl, just about as crazy as "I like to laugh and have a good time."

SirKolbath · 2020-01-02T15:32:07+00:00

Why do I need to provide anything? What the fuck are you gonna do?!

SkylordAl · 2020-01-02T15:02:11+00:00

Mommy to 5 (2 boys, 1 girl, 1 cat and 1 dog)

Well apparently pets now count as kids even with single moms.

Thought that this phenomenon was limited to childless women, but I guess I stand corrected.

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2020-01-02T15:28:48+00:00

Does anyone else think that the two rings on the two necklaces are somehow representative of the two men that she has already used up and destroyed? Kind of like a serial killer keeping a trophy to relive his/her evil deeds.

Cuntfart9000 · 2020-01-02T16:55:05+00:00

She could have just shortened that to “Looking for old beta male with money.”

NickTesla2018 · 2020-01-02T14:44:20+00:00

Another five head for 2020. Roman war helmet!

German992 · 2020-01-02T14:55:14+00:00

Ron Howard himself couldn’t develop a plan to save her.

rebelauthor · 2020-01-02T16:17:50+00:00

Hey guys, it's bargain Thursday! You get all this for the very low price of putting your hard earned money into her bank account and changing the shitty diapers of Chad's crumbsnatcher (eyebrows not included). Yes, you will be responsible for feeding your newly acquired pets, and yes you wont get much sleep with Chad(s) three children living in your home, but you will get to watch Star Wars marathons with clownface..oh wait. Put it on pause. Baby shit its diaper again. Its your turn to wipe its ass.

AskLwsTmh · 2020-01-02T17:13:31+00:00

She’s 38 and still looking for “Romeo” on fuck sites lmao. What a dummy.

2020-01-02T15:32:51+00:00

So appropriate that she's wearing clown makeup since we're living in clown world.

martinC90 · 2020-01-02T15:44:13+00:00

Damn, every picture is geared toward a different age bracket of men, the duck face one is trying to attract teens im guessing.

Miggymoggy · 2020-01-02T16:14:40+00:00

Only a complete loser would "step up to the plate" and become "a real man" by raising children that was created by other mens penises.....This woman isn't even deluded as there is loads of loser men who have absolutely no pride or self respect and will happily swoop down like a superzero to save the day.

DeepestFire · 2020-01-02T16:26:38+00:00

"Age is just a number" now that she is 38. When you were 38 and she was 25, age was definitely more than just a number, but now that her haggardness is starting to show she is hoping you will appreciate her enlightenment.

Taguroizumo · 2020-01-02T17:21:16+00:00

Sorry buddy, i am not into trannies.

SquirtBurt · 2020-01-02T17:42:41+00:00

No body pictures either. She’s fat.

plainnsimpleforever · 2020-01-02T19:52:44+00:00

"our family". It would never be the guy's family. Her mind brings up the Disney fairytales she has heard all her life as evidence that it can indeed come true.

"be a man of the house". Stepfathers are never the man of the house. Again, it's the Disney fairytale where she thinks an Alpha will swoop in and the kids will absolutely adore him and respect him, and after this god-sent man puts the loving smiling well-behaved kids to bed, he'll fuck her senseless before finishing his day washing the dishes. In reality, stepfathers have responsibility but no authority and that is tyranny.

BigRatJoe · 2020-01-02T15:38:23+00:00

At this point she might as well just say "I want money and that's it"

PhantasyBoy · 2020-01-02T17:33:28+00:00

“I think age is just a number”

Well that’s convenient for you.

Harold_Heckuba · 2020-01-02T15:25:14+00:00

What the fuck is with the eyebrows? Jesus, looks like it was applied with a felt marker.

meerita · 2020-01-02T16:06:48+00:00

She is so dead. I preffer to jerk off than to submit to this deathbed thot.

noobie107 · 2020-01-02T16:07:21+00:00

38 going on 58 lol

BarbarianInvasions · 2020-01-02T17:03:31+00:00

Absolutely crazy! They have no shame. So the deal is pay for everything* help her raise other men's offsprings (how many of them???) and enjoy whats left of her puss* after 3 pregnancies. 3 kids for God sake! And a cat and a dog. For sure the chivalrous "winner" of her heart will come last...even after the dog. I can't imagine even the stupidest white knight cuck would touch this women with a 10 feet cattle prod!

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2020-01-02T20:54:23+00:00

Star Wars fans, sign up! Come on now! You can treat her to the latest Star Wars movie. Disney would like it that way.

Ithomasfreedom · 2020-01-02T23:13:29+00:00

I love, love and be held and cuddle = I'm a cock tease, you're not getting any sex no matter how hard you try.

If she does have sex with you, it's to have another kid and you will pay but you won't be in the picture just like the other men before you.

What's with women plucking all their eyebrows out and painting them back in? It looks stupid!

Never hitch your wagon to a single mother. You will always come in last place behind the kids and pets and every guy she was ever with.

fickle_fuck · 2020-01-02T15:59:31+00:00

She looks like the "IT'S MA'AM!" fella.

symko · 2020-01-02T16:34:09+00:00

That’s a man, baby!

TheAC997 · 2020-01-02T16:50:48+00:00

Damn, she just comes out and says it.

mookiecat · 2020-01-02T17:36:59+00:00

She needs to strong man to help apply those eyebrows.

With a paint roller

ofthewhite · 2020-01-02T18:34:10+00:00

I don't trust women that draw on their eyebrows.

kewlestkat_ · 2020-01-02T19:28:47+00:00

I bet she would try to divorce you the second you marry her to get half the money and child support

RealMcGonzo · 2020-01-02T21:23:45+00:00

Big nose, thin lips, large forehead. Lots of male features on this one, especially in the first two pics. I see chicks like this and wonder if they are hanging out down under.

BobFrizzle · 2020-01-02T21:37:08+00:00

The nerve to just straight up ask that they want a man to be financially responsible for their children with other men is disgusting.

smitty1087 · 2020-01-02T23:51:19+00:00

That “age is just a number” line reeks of desperation. Good god I threw up in my mouth a little.

redveinlover · 2020-01-03T03:03:10+00:00

Probably a lot of swipers are going hard left as soon as they see "mommy of 5" and don't finish her attempt at a joke that the other 2 are pets. You can also tell how virtuous she is by posting a topless pic, not to mention the classic no full body shots in her photo spread so guys can't see how fat she is. And hey at least she waited a year before hitting Tinder with baby pics, sometimes we get them when they're still second trimester looking for a replacement dollar supplier.

mrbill1234 · 2020-01-02T15:07:34+00:00

Those eyebrows are creepy

UndeadTed · 2020-01-02T15:19:07+00:00

Gah, Those magic-marker eyebrows

ifuc---pipeline · 2020-01-02T15:23:22+00:00

The necklace clinches it as a no for me.

Gordon-G · 2020-01-02T17:45:44+00:00

beware of an old used high-mileage jalopy

thenotoriousdougie · 2020-01-02T18:06:52+00:00

Only head shots = whale. She brings nothing to the table except a wallowed out, dried up hole and problems. Pass.

deepak8411 · 2020-01-02T18:15:46+00:00

She forgot to write 'Readymade family'.

Madner70 · 2020-01-02T18:53:16+00:00

A long time ago, in a realm far, far away:

As the buzzards circled overhead, Count Romeo Ulrich Goodman lay on his back, clinging to his stomach trying to keep his intestines from coming out the deep gash from a battle ax that had cleaved through the chain mail he wore at nearly all times these days. The attack had come unexpectedly, not giving enough time to don his full plate armor. He smiled gratefully as he looked westward. His trusted steed Pentramp had escaped before the enemy forces had encircled what little remained of him and his men and was fleeing back to whence they came. It would be a journey his horse would have to make alone, Goodman thought ruefully. Many moments passed and the sound of steel upon steel gave way to an eerie silence as the moans of the wounded and dying became less and less and twilight came near. This would be his last sunset, he thought momentarily, before he suppressed his emotions down. He was a White Knight and would remain so, even in the hour of his death.
Moments passed, when he heard but did not see Sir Chadwick the Red alighting from his war horse several feet way. As he lay there on his back, Goodman suddenly saw the silhouette of towering man mostly blocking out the light of the setting August sun. The man took off his helmet, and as Goodman eyes adjusted to the shadows, the visage of the most handsome man of the age stood before him, his deep blue eyes looking over Count Goodman not with the anger of a hated enemy, but with deep concern. The Count could not help but smile. They were enemies this day, but it had not always been this way. Sir Chadwick ordered a water skin brought forward and took it in his large muscular arms, knelt down and put it to the Count’s lips, where he drank in between spurts of coughs.
“This is the end for me old friend,” Goodman mused. Sir Chadwick smiled sadly. “You had a good run, old friend.” Goodman thought happily of the time he nearly bested Chadwick at the Promnor Tourney and they shared old memories for some time. Later, Goodman asked, “What of my cousin, the Viceroy?”, “He fell a fortnight ago at Breckenridge.”, Sir Chadwick replied. “And what of my father?”
“He escaped the narrows, only to be lost at sea.”
The grim realization of the meaning of the last statement hit Goodman harder even than the pain that wracked his body from his battle wounds. “Then, pray tell me Sir Chadwick, then I am the last of my line? The last true Goodman?”
“You are, your Grace.” Came the reply from the golden haired Knight. They were silent for some time, as Goodman struggled with his thoughts. Goodman then asked, “But if there are no Goodmans….. eh…..who, pray tell, Sir Knight… cough…will administer aid and comfort, food and shelter, and even coin to the bastards of this realm? Who will manneth up their cup and sustenance to these children and their mothers, good Sir?” Goodman marveled that even wearing sixty pounds of full armor, he could still perceptibly notice in the torchlight Sir Chadwick shrug his shoulders as a smirk crossed his lips at the same time. For some reason, this angered Goodman and he momentarily lost his cool. “Good Sir! I daresay there are murmurs at the Royal Court that many of these same children are your bastard offspring!” Goodman regretted his angry outburst, but he was prone to them, as the Knight knew very well. If his outburst and accusation bothered Sir Chadwick, it didn’t show on his face. Sir Chadwick was silent for some time. Goodman broke the silence by apologizing for his emotional outburst. “Trouble yourself not, my old friend,” Sir Chadwick offered, “It is likely that the Crown will take care of these children.” Shortly thereafter, the last true Goodman died. Sir Chadwick the Red gave him a proper burial, the location of which has been lost to the fading memories of time and history. As time passed in the realm, however, nary a day went by, where at the market or at the hearth, a wayward lady of questionable morality with child would be heard to say, “Where are all the Goodman?” or “Are there any Goodman left?”

GeneralKinetics89 · 2020-01-02T19:38:21+00:00

In the 4th picture, where it looks like she's in bed with no top on, that's what it'll look like when you fuck her, as she'll only give you pity missionary sex.

Dr_Bukkakee · 2020-01-02T20:14:55+00:00

Her skin is like the surface of the moon, don’t let the filters fool ya.

Natuasi · 2020-01-02T21:23:14+00:00

The delusion runneth over in this one.

norAsian · 2020-01-02T21:48:30+00:00

I can't decide wether that is a trans or not. That says something.

notorious_dreVII · 2020-01-02T21:55:25+00:00

No. Thanks.

2020-01-02T22:51:29+00:00

So sorry for the kids. But she hit the wall ages ago.

Rockmann1 · 2020-01-02T22:52:47+00:00

Sadly she had to give up her eyebrows in the divorce settlement.

GSFleming · 2020-01-02T22:54:17+00:00

This lady is a weed. Not a flower.

Pr0d1gal · 2020-01-02T23:51:51+00:00

My god that’s a dumbass lookin baby

kubicas · 2020-01-03T00:24:39+00:00

Jesus Christ... 38 year old mother and still doing duck face like a 12 year old dumbass... sad and immature.

InSilenceLikeLasagna · 2020-01-03T01:16:25+00:00

I mean at least she’s honest.

That said, is online dating for women that fruitful where they can literally say they’re looking for someone to take care of them and their pre-loaded family (with 0 attachment to this woman) and still get interest? The fuck man 😂

divorce33 · 2020-01-03T01:25:15+00:00

She has three children, but but but the "father isn't in the picture! :-)" so it's my lucky day! It's not the fact that her having children by another man is an attraction killer, no never that!!! ...it's that I get to take care of chad's children! That's my present! I was going to compare it to someone selling a car with two front tires, but the back tires are missing, but then I thought this whore is offering absolutely nothing. She is essentially trying to sell a car with no tires at all and trying to make me pay extra! Where do I sign up for this wonderful mess of fucking hell!

dwc151 · 2020-01-03T03:07:34+00:00

Only shows two of the kids. Tyrone would be upset she's not showing off his crotch spawn.

imtyrone001 · 2020-01-03T05:47:48+00:00

Jesus her eyes look so lifeless. These skanks truly do trade their souls for vagina tingles.

Chad1Stevens · 2020-01-03T06:20:07+00:00

Very wrinkly and bumpy. Women age like milk.

2020-01-03T08:08:11+00:00

A single mom looking for mangina to be number 6, after the dog.

2020-01-02T16:23:22+00:00

Ah I didn’t know I could get my PT degree at UrMOM

apparently1 · 2020-01-02T16:57:16+00:00

Even if you are autistic you wouldnt dall for this trap. I'm not saying a woman with kids should be off limits, life happens and no loving relationship comes to an end. However, she has a New born baby, with the father not in the picture and no "baby drama". That means she went out, got fucked and pregnant and never got the name of the guy.

The last thing this woman needs to do is ruin a mans life by being in it.

Timmymac1000 · 2020-01-02T17:13:37+00:00

r/whybrows

Airsick1972 · 2020-01-02T18:08:22+00:00

38 years old aged 70

cenaluc · 2020-01-02T18:12:30+00:00

Fuck me, she is the Ring-Bearer in the second pic.....

“One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all. and in the darkness bind them.”

2020-01-02T18:12:50+00:00

Legit looks like Agent Paul Smecker (Boondocks Saints Reference)

oh_no_aliens · 2020-01-02T18:30:13+00:00

She even says it in her profile, that's bingo!

Savixe · 2020-01-02T18:37:26+00:00

38? Sorry baee, ure AT LEAST 45.

DepressedDragonBorn · 2020-01-02T18:41:38+00:00

Preferably an 90 year old man that is on his deathbed and has a nice life insurance.

VVXMR · 2020-01-02T18:54:41+00:00

Dating apps aren't real life.

milojitsu · 2020-01-02T18:57:00+00:00

Does she have 120 children? Mathematicians will know...

jihocech · 2020-01-02T19:45:22+00:00

Too late.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2020-01-02T20:32:13+00:00

The horror! Imagine her without makeup. More wrinkles than Yoda.

TxsButholeTklngBndt · 2020-01-02T20:54:30+00:00

Oh wow, she's? A catch...is that Paycheck Stubbz?

HumanzDisgustMe · 2020-01-02T22:22:28+00:00

It's Ma'am.

mgtow16 · 2020-01-03T00:19:44+00:00

cheating wife gets exposed

GTFonMF · 2020-01-03T03:17:37+00:00

She’s a rough-looking 38. Shit.

Stunner900 · 2020-01-03T03:26:49+00:00

38? Isn't a little late in the game to find someone?

dbbeebs · 2020-01-03T07:18:25+00:00

Where does she get the money if she is unemployed with 3 kids?

big daddy gumint isn't doing it all. Her parents?

EliFortuna121- · 2020-01-03T08:34:45+00:00

What a bitch!

z31fanatic · 2020-01-03T11:09:25+00:00

Clown paint on her face in every picture. Even in the hospital.

Please tell me no man will be stupid enough to get in a relationship with this clown.

crosscourtj · 2020-01-05T02:27:09+00:00

Is there some site selling eyebrow stencils? Been seeing a lot of this in my area recently - must come with limited rattle can:) color options, too -

Identical color/identical configuration ... similar THOT pattern likely behind its usage too!

Iwantyomilk · 2020-01-05T07:46:12+00:00

She look pretty damn manly herself. Squarad ass stubble chin and broad ass shoulders.

TomahawkSuppository · 2020-01-05T23:03:53+00:00

Oh look someone else’s saved game.

Iceth_Thtea · 2020-01-06T15:59:54+00:00

She looks like my buddy Rick 🤣

asdf333aza · 2020-01-10T02:07:25+00:00

You need to have a stronger jaw than hers to date her. So that takes out about 95% of the male population.

Psychoticface · 2020-01-24T14:34:11+00:00

The "University of Mom" sounds like she's been knocked up a good few times

gooseyjuice · 2020-01-30T12:16:24+00:00

Throttle back Turbo, that's a dude.