We went on one date, no sex, and she expects that I should be “jumping to help” on my weekend off.

maroonblood94 · 2019-12-27T22:49:28+00:00

We went on one date last weekend. Lots of making out and groping, but she refused sex. Apparently, she’s allowed to refuse sex, but I’m not allowed to refuse performing housework for her on my weekend off after one date. I’m expected to be her trained seal. Bullet dodged.

EDIT: Let me reiterate for the posters saying that I “missed” an opportunity for sex... I was inside this girl’s apartment last weekend after our first date. We smoked some. Made out. And I sucked her boobs and rubbed her jeans until she was soaking wet. She still ultimately refused sex. It didn’t happen then. And it wasn’t going to happen this time. She was attempting to use me. She even texted me after the first date asking if we could “slow it down” with the “physical stuff” despite the fact that we hadn’t even had sex. Sex didn’t happen on her old bed. And it wasn’t going to happen on her new bed either. Not with me anyways.

waatgm_prophet · 2019-12-27T23:17:18+00:00

You gave a perfect reply with the thumbs up emoji.

Next time, try not responding at all. Ignoring women sets them off like no other.

SeekingLevelFive · 2019-12-27T23:25:08+00:00

That shit test passed. She'll be texting again, soon.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-12-28T00:15:21+00:00

Sounds like she reads subs about female dating strategies 👀

aad7990 · 2019-12-27T23:15:49+00:00

Let us know, in a month, when she's hitting you up for another date

Sgt_Thundercok · 2019-12-27T23:39:58+00:00

The world has created a bunch of narcissistic, manipulative little hoes.

RRFdev · 2019-12-28T00:46:02+00:00

OP, she is currently seeing several guys at once. This is the reason she is so willing to let go of you.

In fact, to make things worse, she is planning to deny you sex while jumping into the bed on the first coffee date meet with other guys who are more attractive to you. She had marked you as a Beta Bux /marriage material guy - just cute enough to spark her tingles, but has the provisions for her to consider you to be her husband.

The other guys - they are her FWB guys. She is meant to go to quick, wild, crazy hookup sex with them to remove her lust when it's time to meet up with you.

You flipped the script though when you still managed to escalate physically with her, and that drove her nuts. This confused her, and made her feel bitter that she couldn't turn you into her beta bux slave, and thus at the slightest friction she used it as a 'casus belli' to instantly terminate the relationship as she then turns her attention to fucking the Chads while fishing for another beta bux to have expensive dinner dates and plan for marriage while denying sex to.

The strategy of having quick sex with FWB guys and denying sex with the one guy a woman is supposed to genuinely bond and love in a monogamous relationship is very well discussed in subs like femaledatingstrategy.

She's not yours. It's just your turn. Always assume that she is spinning plates. Be that FWB guy. Never be the beta bux guy.

Or better yet, just MGTOW and don't waste your time chasing mediocre pussy.

Trant2433 · 2019-12-28T00:57:03+00:00

Interesting. The old me would have rationalized the request for help and also her wanting to slow things down physically as proof that she was a decent woman who was just doing what she had to do to ensure I wasn’t just looking for a quick pump and dump.

And the chores, I’d assume, were further woman tests to qualify my dedication to a LTR partnership where we help each other out.

I would have totally helped her out with her bed, also sent some cringe reply to her slow down request about how that’s a great idea, and I definitely want to get to know her over the long term. Sex can wait till whenever your 100% ready!

Now, after years of dating American women in their 30s and seeing it all, I’d act exactly like OP. Women who won’t sleep with you on a first date, especially liberal women who’ve slept with dozens of Chads on date #1, aren’t attracted to you. If they want help with chores, it’s just a power play where they’re rationalizing whatever play they did have to put out by extracting some sort of compensation, so they don’t feel you got away without paying up.

She would have never slept with OP, but let him chore-play, spend a bunch of money wining and dining her and feeding her unreciprocated attention, before finally just saying she’s not feeling it or ghosting a few weeks later.

Seen it a dozen times.

14to66to101 · 2019-12-27T23:11:07+00:00

Dodged a HUGE bullet. Congratulations! You should celebrate with a fine whiskey.

SweetSoftFairy · 2019-12-27T23:15:58+00:00

Holy hell... at least she showed her true colors quickly

tinysackbigshaft · 2019-12-27T23:19:11+00:00

perfect response. watch her keep trying to come back. give it probably 48 hours for her to come back and just reply with “cum over”. this is what you call a shit test

MarkBoabaca · 2019-12-28T00:57:16+00:00

Similar situation happened with me. I went on a date with a woman. When I told her I wasn’t interested, she said,”Does this mean you won’t help me put up my gazebo?”

W T F

Hugenstein41 · 2019-12-28T00:45:31+00:00

The "jumping" part is the biggest flag.

themoviehero · 2019-12-28T01:08:26+00:00

Lmao she typed two paragraphs and you hit her with a thumbs up. You know she was seething.

DangZagnut · 2019-12-27T23:21:16+00:00

Dodged that bullet.

Sgt_Thundercok · 2019-12-27T23:40:26+00:00

Well done. Short and sweet.

FuckCensorship001 · 2019-12-28T01:16:27+00:00

Lolllllll that text is cryable - “breaking up” with you after one date 😂

kfree313 · 2019-12-27T23:50:28+00:00

Good for u . Don’t bow down to her . Let her go find another sucka

Good_Old_Friend · 2019-12-27T23:55:26+00:00

Bullet dodged.

R41nmaker · 2019-12-28T00:18:48+00:00

Handled expertly, OP.

The silver lining is that at least she handled the rejection in a diplomatic manner as opposed to insulting OP by calling him an incel/loser. However, we know that this strong independent woman is in search of beta orbiters to help her with chores while getting her back blown out by Chad/Tyrone/Chang.

Scooned · 2019-12-28T00:26:43+00:00

Yes she sure is a red flag alright

SirKolbath · 2019-12-28T00:02:47+00:00

Goddammit, would you charge your phone?!

LifschitzTal · 2019-12-28T01:21:04+00:00

You did the right thing. Empower yourself. Your time is important, if you weren’t there, how would she assemble the bed frame? Correct.

You don’t owe anyone anything, if you and a girl really hit it off and you feel a deep connection then maybe you can make a special exception if you feel it’s not a chick playing games (but you won’t meet them off dating apps that’s for sure).

When someone asks me for help with stuff right off the bat and we’re not even close, that is ultimately a red flag. Like when this black guy in my class back in the day I spoke two sentences to was in my group and asked me for a ride home to ghetto vile, I told him take the bus.

You know what he did next? I watched him and he went up to two other people and asked the same thing. You see, these people are selfish users, they don’t care about you the individual, it’s a numbers game. As long as you’re useful you’ll be in their life.

It’s insane that women think if you don’t do what I want you don’t belong with me, it’s so possessive and creepy and done under the guise of romance and winning their love. This is why so many of them end up alone and depressed.

When you become a doormat for people you lose all self worth, and it’s a slippery slope from there.

Funny thing is, I wager she’ll contact you in a few days from now because she can’t stop thinking about you, mark my words.

Girls who play test games like this from the start are a headache. My wife never did that to me, and 13 years later I’m happily married.

Kaedryl · 2019-12-27T23:33:00+00:00

Honestly, you should have replied. “Are we breaking it in after?”

umockdev · 2019-12-28T00:47:05+00:00

You didn't even say no to her. Just that you're not up for it this weekend. Jesus. Good for you that this was all it took to reveal her intentions.

dingodoyle · 2019-12-28T00:53:18+00:00

If she walks away for something that small, she wasn’t that into you I would say

GoOUbeatTexas · 2019-12-28T01:32:10+00:00

I fucking hate that last sentence so much. But then again, if it weren’t for that sentence, I wouldn’t have found MGTOW, and ultimately wouldn’t be where I am today

But still, fuck that shit

sicima · 2019-12-28T01:20:46+00:00

Smoking weed and had a lot of physical contact (besides sex) on the first date. You are a bad boy and probably good looking, and she is a usual tinder thot who won't miss the chance to fuck you. Just wait a little bit.

Cuntfart9000 · 2019-12-28T02:59:08+00:00

She wanted you to put the bed together for Chad to come over and fuck her on it after you left.

TANQspray · 2019-12-28T00:46:12+00:00

Firstly, you shouldn’t have anything to do with her from now on. You don’t know what problems you might have.

But when she replies again just say you have 2 other girls already on the go and don’t have time for her now. Mess with her head bad.

splashkami · 2019-12-28T02:14:19+00:00

Nice reply king. We don’t save these hoes 👍

IssaSecretShhhh · 2019-12-28T02:16:07+00:00

Tell Madison to put that shit together herself or cough up the extra cash to have it delivered and assembled. JFC, girls like that are embarrassing. Sooo glad I’m out of the dating pool, girls like her just make it harder on the ones who aren’t grossly entitled.

Gordon-G · 2019-12-28T02:27:52+00:00

Good move brotha. .. headache averted

Never be capt’save’a-hoe

AtoZZZ · 2019-12-28T02:28:36+00:00

For some reason, I find an extreme amount of joy in setting up furniture and stuff. Just putting things together, like Legos but for adults (not that Legos are for children or anything). I’d set it up for anyone, any day. But nobody is entitled to my labor. That’s slavery. And it’s nothing to get pissy about if I say no, especially within good reason

helloimderek · 2019-12-28T03:13:16+00:00

Fuck this shit. Get out, brother.

redveinlover · 2019-12-28T03:17:07+00:00

Bullet DODGED like Neo in the Matrix.

clamnit · 2019-12-28T01:54:23+00:00

This is probably the Maddie I know. Here's a rule. If their name has mad in it avoid them.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-12-28T00:21:35+00:00

I’ve never had the opportunity (yet) to do this as I’ve just not bothered with women for a while due to some health stuff, but I would instinctually respond to something like this with something so irrelevant and pointless like “yeah cool but I stepped on a screw today outside of subway and it ripped a hole in my shoe. Like for fuck sake I just got these shoes a few weeks ago and they’re already fucked. I don’t understand why my shoes never seem to last but other people wear the same pair for maybe years?? Like wtf”

How would she or any woman respond to this. Is it worse than just not responding at all?

Synnerxx · 2019-12-28T01:58:27+00:00

Did she say anything after your 👍?

Lurkingnopost · 2019-12-28T02:24:43+00:00

Good man!

nehardElhidine · 2019-12-28T02:30:19+00:00

The thumbs up emoji to extinguish her delusional ideas of you backpedalling after her message.

You dropped your crown, KING!!! 👑

killerdolphin313 · 2019-12-28T02:44:55+00:00

She asked you to help her assemble a bed frame. Dude. Bed frame. Hell yeah I’ll help you assemble that bed frame, then I’m gonna smash you on it. Jesus, playa.

MildlyCute · 2019-12-28T03:03:48+00:00

that thumbs up was pure SAVAGERY

poshmarkedbudu · 2019-12-28T03:37:56+00:00

This bitch.

pootalhatesem · 2019-12-28T03:41:15+00:00

Shouldve 8balled her

Natuasi · 2019-12-28T03:44:51+00:00

I would’ve responded; “If by help, you mean read you the instructions, while you put it together, then sure.

Bruchibre · 2019-12-28T03:44:59+00:00

You've dodged an entitled bullet. Great response (OK bye). Ghost her forever because that's only the tip of the iceberg.

My LTR of 5 years had to wait for 2 months for me to be in a good mood to setup her bed and slept on the mattress on the floor.

OfficialTechLead · 2019-12-28T03:46:05+00:00

Why not make a comment about fucking her on the bed after you assemble it? Cucked yourself imo

maroonblood94 · 2019-12-28T02:53:17+00:00

Read my post. Specifically the EDIT.

MikepGrey · 2019-12-28T02:52:51+00:00

She wanted you to help he build a bed... and naturally test it... did you not notice that =.=

Granted with her response... you did probably dodge a bullet

DutchTerror2 · 2019-12-27T23:39:44+00:00

You missed a lot of good sex ...

Title	We went on one date, no sex, and she expects that I should be “jumping to help” on my weekend off.
Author	maroonblood94
Upvotes	402
Comments	94
Date	December 27, 2019 10:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/egi7e1/we_went_on_one_date_no_sex_and_she_expects_that_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/we-went-on-one-date-no-sex-and-she-expects-that-i.342767 https://theredarchive.com/post/342767