Coffee dates prevent women like you from getting a free meal and then ghosting.

ihateshadylandlords · 2019-10-29T11:23:17+00:00

Spoken like a true prostitute. I wonder if her pimp gets her take home bag.

SoakMyBigCork · 2019-10-29T13:11:10+00:00

I don't think men should entertain women who demand high effort dates without earning them. A $100 dinner is not worth the time that he took to get ready, not worth the money to pay for the dinner AND the gasoline AND the car he drives to get there, nor is it worth the opportunity costs in time he could be spending doing other things, IF the woman has no skin in the game and has not expressed clear sexual interest in him and has not shown she values and respects him.

And why would a man want to be with a woman who demands food, meals, time, and favors without having earned them?

EDIT: You can see this is a woman employing typical female dating strategy. You can also see she already has the man pegged as a beta bux plowhorse provider. Here's how I know: If she were sexually interested in this man, she'd agree immediately to the coffee date. Hell, she'd view it as foreplay. She wouldn't be able to get to the Starbucks fast enough. When a woman is demanding immediate monetary investment before she's given you anything, the sexual interest just isn't there. Don't do it.

wessexking · 2019-10-29T11:30:55+00:00

A mate of mine used to say, a1st date cost him a lot food,drink, cab fare etc. He said it was cheaper and less hassle to go pay a hooker. Logic ?

Nybaz · 2019-10-29T11:39:18+00:00

The guy just saved 2$

SuperGoxxer · 2019-10-29T11:53:19+00:00

Note the victim reframing in the first reply. "Like OMG, I get ready for you and waaaaaaaah" Get the fuck out of here you pretentious bitch and put on a t-shirt and jeans. Just have your hair untangled and minimal makeup.

Naturally, the real shaming here is that she thinks she's worth a sit-down dinner without the guy knowing anything about her at all.

She's a "foodie" - the chicks that rack up meals and then eff off. In fact, coffee encounters are an excellent strategic counter to these parasites. (Unless you have the gall to dine-and-dash, leaving her with the bill, lol.)

JihadNinjaCowboy · 2019-10-29T11:55:25+00:00

LOL.

I show up early, get my own coffee & table and I didn't even have to pay $2 for hers. My tactic in 2016.

Also, if it takes THAT much effort for her to look good, then she really doesn't LOOK good. Do you really want to wake up early the next morning and have to chew your own arm off when you see what she really looks like?

retal1ator · 2019-10-29T12:24:39+00:00

She forgot a date is just a meeting to get to know the other person and not an auction.

Jesus Christ, what a disaster.

nelsonbt · 2019-10-29T12:28:13+00:00

I think this really is effective to weed out women who are literally only set on getting free meals from nineteen out of twenty guys they go out with. Why invest a whole hour into a guy you’re not interested in? They wouldn’t do it because there’s a lineup of free meal guys already here.

Side note: not sure I ever encountered this behaviour when I dated. I’ve read about it in women’s own words. I just never saw it in real life.

sthlmtrdr · 2019-10-29T12:26:31+00:00

She's complaining it's a hassle to put on make up and nice clothes? hey she is doing that every day anyway before going to work or school so it's a moot point.

She won't be more attracted to you because you spend a lot of money on her. Attraction doesn't work that way. There are plenty of ideas for free dates or dates below $10 and it will be the same outcome in the end anyway. She either likes you or she does not. She either wants you or she does not.

That handsome and hot dude she goes home with at the nightclub and sleeps with ain't paying a shit and she even makes breakfast in the morning too. If I'm not that guy, then she can fuck off.

Anthony-waltzs · 2019-10-29T12:44:33+00:00

Women are obsessed with making men pay for everything because their strategy is to make you emotionally invested in them so it would be harder for you to leave them.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2019-10-29T11:36:21+00:00

Why would I expend effort on someone I don't even know?

It'd be different if it were customary for the woman to kick in her share of the expenses once she realizes that she's not interested.

dreamin_in_space · 2019-10-29T11:59:49+00:00

how about a free date at the local library

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-10-29T13:12:15+00:00

I've never encountered that IRL. The women I meet for a first date are typically amenable to a casual drink on a first date. Maybe women are hearing about the elaborate first dates of post Wall women are trying to shame me into bringing them back?

darkestb4thedonald · 2019-10-29T11:41:13+00:00

Unfit. To. Blow. Me.

OldFashionMarine · 2019-10-29T12:18:46+00:00

Lol.....why date at all.....when you can "rent" a vag?

2019-10-29T13:32:35+00:00

This should serve as a warning to any men who think it is worth spending vast amounts of money to entertain a female. There is no reason on Earth to take a female out on an expensive first date. It is impractical for a variety of reasons. Regardless of your financial health, you should not spend your hard earned money like a drunk sailor. The next most important reason is that cheap dates weed out the non-serious types. A lot of females are 'serial dinner wh0res'. That is, they just want to THOT it out with pictures for Social Media on your hard earned dime. It makes no sense. Gentlemen, save your money and only take these females out to coffee dates or happy hour!

BluepillProfessor · 2019-10-29T14:43:04+00:00

Women are incapable of considering anything from the man's perspective.

60,000 Men blow their brains out every year. Hmmm, I wonder why men are so weak.

2,000 Women commit suicide every year (15% the rate of men): Oh my God. This is a crisis! Women are dying! We must DO something!

40,000 men die every year from prostate cancer; hmmm, so BORING.

30,000 women die and 10,000 men die every year from breast cancer; OH MY GOD! THIS IS AWFUL!! We need to devote an entire month to pink ribbons and provide 2-3 times the research funding!!! Some women are DYING you incell!!

Men lose their families, their children, and are thrown out into the street by the MILLIONS; Hoh hum. Cry me a river you supporter of the patriarchy!

A single woman loses her custody battle after dropping burning crystal meth and scarring the child's face; Oh Lawdy...all men are rapists and SCUM and women are wonderful. How can you take a baby away from his momma.

Men walk away from marriage by the tens of millions and engage in pump and dumps while refusing LTR's with women. Boo Hoo you whiny, baby little manboy incell. Why don't you just kill yourself. YASS SLAY QUEEN!

Women are SLIGHTLY affected by the marriage strike. What!!!! I am worn out, and my vagina is blown out. I am tired and now have wrinkles and baby fat. Where is my husband. Why are all the men BOYS or FUCKBOIS not interested in getting married? WHERE are all the good men?

bmt0019 · 2019-10-29T13:12:52+00:00

Nothing says gold digger more than a text like that.

antiGriefer · 2019-10-29T11:15:16+00:00

Agreed.

Cavannah · 2019-10-29T16:50:56+00:00

Observe the self-centered idiocy of someone who doesn't understand reality.

I don't think women should entertain low[-]effort dates

Effort corresponds to and scales with reward.

In simple economic terms, the opportunity cost of multiple "low-effort" dates is vastly favorable compared to a single "high-effort" date for the people engaging in them, since if it goes awry or doesn't pan out (which, statistically, is likely to be the case the majority of the time) the loss of time/energy/money is negligible.

Minimizing expenditure (loss) while maximizing potential reward (gain) is how reality works for successful and valuable people.

A $2 cup of coffee is not worth the time that she took to find an outfit, do her hair, possibly do her make up [sic], use her gas

You're there for more than just the $2 coffee, moron.

Why would a woman want to be with a man that prefers to put in low effort

Why would a man want to be with a woman who doesn't give a damn about him and only cares about his "effort?"

Funnily enough, this just proves (straight from the horse's mouth) that women are human beings and men are human doings.

Here's the thing: If a woman is bitching about the amount of effort required to spend time with you, she isn't attracted to or interested in you.

White_Mlungu_Capital · 2019-10-29T18:22:57+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again, stop taking women on dates where money is spent. It clouds your judgement and wastes your money. Once she sees you will spend money on her, she has already gotten the upper hand, because you have subconsciously indicated she has higher value to you that is worth spending on, before she has demonstrated anything of value to you. You are indicating she is more valuable than you are. If it comes down to it, go dutch on the date, but I really think it is a bad idea to start. Take her to the park, the beach, or have her meet you in somewhere or something you'd already being doing anyways, so if she no shows you still have a good time. Bring her along with your friends, don't center your life around them,, it shows neediness and clingyness.

zaze12 · 2019-10-29T13:08:18+00:00

Blowjob or no money,in this situation.

paleotow · 2019-10-29T13:57:47+00:00

"and why would a woman want to be with a man that prefers to put in low effort" - cause it shows he's not foolish with his resources - or maybe you are screening out for that.

MRMRising · 2019-10-29T14:31:53+00:00

Ah, life is so much simpler, cheaper and less stressful when you are GYOW.

The privileged gender is not worth my time.

Chad1Stevens · 2019-10-29T17:36:48+00:00

This is the dating world they created but they don't want to live in it.

corey_trevorson · 2019-10-29T16:00:18+00:00

Read: I didn't want you either way, but I still want you to put "effort" into me

Cantide756 · 2019-10-29T17:12:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SoakMyBigCork · 2019-10-29T18:48:07+00:00

I have screenshots that show the other side of this dynamic for our female friends on subs that specifically say guys who don't "do it up" on the first date are losers and not worth their time.

Poor sap in a social group I'm in set up a date with a gal about a month ago to meet two weeks ago for dinner at a nice steakhouse and had a table reserved at a club to see a band. She canceled on him 3 hours before the date.

He had already set up another date with this same gal to go to the fair the following week (he didn't learn). Had 100% paid-for entrance passes and unlimited ride bands. She canceled that one on him the day before. He was left holding the bag on the pre-purchased passes since of course she didn't offer to pay for hers for bailing.

And that, ladies, is how you get guys to quite "doing it up" on the first date.

smfuel87 · 2019-10-29T20:52:28+00:00

Translation:

"Fuck you. Pay me."

Fucking weeded that prostitute out fast. Never spend heavy on a first date.

theDukesofSwagger · 2019-10-29T21:21:17+00:00

Ladies, if you think your time is worth money, you’re the literal definition of a hooker.

Tailtappin · 2019-10-29T13:36:11+00:00

Well, she ain't paying for any of it so of course she thinks it's a great plan to have him shell out a fortune for everything with no guarantees.

I get the impression from online dating that women seriously overvalue themselves, their time and effort.

askmrcia · 2019-10-29T15:03:00+00:00

So let me get this straight? She claims the man put in low effort when in fact it was the man who reached out first, the man who asked for the date and the man who planned the location of the date.

What effort did she the woman put in other then saying "no"? She couldn't even suggest a place for dinner or any other dating activity. All she did was complain about the coffee date.

Trying to use the guy for a free meal.

Artichoke19 · 2019-10-29T15:19:01+00:00

When it comes to first meetings IRL a coffee date or a quick pint at the pub is what men do to find out if women are worth taking out on actual, expensive dinner dates next time.

It saves both sexes time, effort and ultimately spares both parties from feelings of disappointment and resentment.

You’re not sane if you agree to spend £50+ on food for a stranger off the internet, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been messaging or speaking on the phone.

Unless you’ve already met them or felt out their personality/morality and enthusiastically want to buy this person a meal at a sit-down restaurant, you’re playing to lose.

This is exactly how you get ‘nice guys’ who think paying for expensive dinner entitles them to gratitude and/or sex.

You have to meet IRL on equal or neutral ground to find out if that woman has ANY intention of engaging in basic human decency/mutual respect/the golden rule.

Entitlement like this is classic old-fashioned sexism towards men.

SilverGryphon · 2019-10-29T16:45:21+00:00

Let me guess, she read the sidebar on female dating strategy, so much for their tactics working out in real life. No man with options is going to pay for an expensive dinner date the first time round. If she gives me sex, then I will happily take her out on a dinner date later on. Otherwise, it is only 2-3 coffee dates and if nothing comes out of it, I am gone.

fellate-o-fish · 2019-10-29T20:57:19+00:00

use her gas

are people really this petty?

DestruXion1 · 2019-10-29T23:48:26+00:00

Gotta love the dual nature of modern feminism. Women should be empowered to be independent and focus on careers! Also: Men should pay for all of our dates and be providers! Maybe not in every situation, but it seems to be the current ideology.

tifuforreal · 2019-10-29T12:56:27+00:00

good morning.

BigboyPapi122 · 2019-10-29T13:16:39+00:00

If it was a first date, coffee dates may be a good thing because it is low budget. I wouldn’t want to spend $40 on dinner dates if I’m learning to know that person. If I lost interest in them, I would be pissed that I spent that type of money on them.

1point9gpa · 2019-10-29T15:22:12+00:00

Not sure why she feels the need to do her makeup and do her hair, it's a just a coffee date bro. Tells us that she cares more about looks than personality.

Natuasi · 2019-10-29T16:14:11+00:00

As long as she’s paying for her portion of said dinner I’d entertain that date.

p3ngwin · 2019-10-29T17:08:51+00:00

"Women only want one thing, and it's fucking disgusting ...."

2019-10-30T14:56:38+00:00

Never take a woman on a dinner date unless she is already putting out. Lots of women like to use men for free meals. Also if you start rewarding her without her earning it she will start to see you as a beta provider and she will be less likely to want to sleep with you after that.

antek_asing · 2019-10-29T13:54:15+00:00

The same thing with splitting bill, for me dating itself basically a mutual consent to spend time and resources to vet potential partner, why should i pay yours ?

2019-10-29T14:10:18+00:00

I prefer coffee dates because it's easy to bounce out when I realize what a post-wall psycho you are.

frank_despair · 2019-10-29T15:37:06+00:00

Lol I like how she thinks she's "got him", she's probably also "not like other girls", and likes to be "rational" and "logical".

attongirdeaux · 2019-10-29T17:04:41+00:00

FDS strikes again. Hey ladies, what happens when the finance guys dont want to go on a real date with you?

LaDinosaurJones · 2019-10-29T17:17:30+00:00

That's why I have a rule: I'm not taking you to an expensive steak house unless I've already been in two of three of your orifices.

I told one woman I was dating that and she says: "That's disgusting and sexist". I said "Oh don't worry about it, you already qualify".

2019-10-29T17:49:51+00:00

Where are they getting coffee for $2?

2019-10-29T20:57:51+00:00

If you're hearing shit like this from a woman it's because she thinks she's too hot for you, simple as that lads.

If she thought his mate value was higher than hers she's be thinking how she could put in effort to land him not trying to wring effort out of him to get her.

2019-10-29T21:23:27+00:00

men dont avoid "dinner dates" because of the money... they avoid them because that is so 1950-1995. nobody does that formal bullshit anymore, especially for someone you dont even know.

if a girl is acting entitled and has strict "rules" like needing fancys dinners and shit... LOL NEXT

bigdaveyl · 2019-10-29T22:21:55+00:00

Newsflash. It's not the coffee or the dinner that should matter.

BreakfastForDinnn · 2019-10-30T00:30:36+00:00

Remember, she wants you to pay for her to "find an outfit, do her hair, possibly do her make up, use her gas...." calling all betos

I_like_PnutButter · 2019-10-30T03:08:48+00:00

She doesn't understand a relaxed date over coffee, all she had to do is put on Jeans and a sweater. Or what she meant was that she had to put on 5 pounds of makeup to hide the fact that she has no personality.

playitagainzak_ · 2019-10-30T06:37:26+00:00

How about 'because they're a stranger you're meeting for the first time'? Which I assume is the case here.

mighty_mogomra · 2019-10-30T15:50:06+00:00

His final response:

"Chad who nutted in all three of your orifices (without a condom) put in low effort to "date you". You set the bar low from the start."

Responsibility and understanding really is their (women's) kryptonite, isn't it?

2019-10-29T15:03:34+00:00

I like coffee dates, and if we hit it off we do something after.

snackattack747 · 2019-10-29T17:05:51+00:00

I prefer getting drinks first time out. Lightens the mood and you get a better sense of who they are. Sure it can get a bit pricey but it’s not expensive and also it’s not coffee... I hate coffee

FirmFirefighter · 2019-10-29T18:06:17+00:00

Just tell the twat you are unemployed (temporarily) between contracts. Do it last minute so they have a wasted trip if you sense they are a gold digger before meeting them (usually very easy to detect if you are mean)

2019-10-29T19:10:23+00:00

The easy answer to that is that a guy, or girl, doesn't know if they want to be 'high effort' until they get to know you. That's like buying a car before at least having a test drive. Screw that. If you can't show value over a cup of coffee then you aren't worth investing in.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-10-29T20:17:00+00:00

Somehow she forgot to mention shaving her crotch...

tw1nm3t30r · 2019-10-30T00:31:04+00:00

$2 for the coffee for her entitled ass $2 for your own coffee so you don't look like a creep $20 for gas to drive her entitled ass to and from her place because she has to be picked up and dropped off like a spoiled shit $150~ give or take for insurance for the car / truck that picks her spoiled ass up. $200-$600~ for the tires for the vehicle to drive her lazy ass $50-$100~ for the clothes to look like a decent person $20 for the fresh haircut to look clean enough for her $50~ for the other misc items to be presentable for her

So that's a minimum of $500~ for a "low effort" coffee date with driving and picking her up.

What does she pay?

Nothing, she just has to fucking show up, and that's also not always the case.

inushishi_no_kaze · 2019-10-29T14:47:12+00:00

Coffe date means she is a low value woman and that triggers her.

I-am-the-lul · 2019-10-29T20:06:53+00:00

Women fuck guys (mainly Chads and/or Tyrones) who put in little to no effort all the damn time, so why should they start now?

Stahlboden · 2019-10-31T18:53:35+00:00

They dont even realise how expecting men to pay just to be around them is entitled as fuck. Hair and make up? It's like men would charge women for expensive clothes, cars, watches they rented for the date.

JulieBeanz_ · 2020-01-17T22:44:08+00:00

All I do is coffee dates with my man and honestly they’re super cute and romantic. And economical lol. Wtf man.

SouthernOhioRedsFan · 2019-10-29T20:00:15+00:00

She's projecting a lot of demands onto this dude. If he's asking for a coffee date he doesnt expect you to dress up; he's trying to see the everyday you. If what you really want is to wear a dress and go to a fancy restaurant just say so!

2019-10-30T01:27:21+00:00

“I think women should only entertain older upper class men who will trade sex and uninterested companionship for iPhones and four figure allowances”

jackandjill22 · 2019-10-30T02:38:57+00:00

Correct.

2019-10-30T03:28:32+00:00

Fine, no dates at all then.

XSasuken22X · 2019-11-01T23:33:33+00:00

Yeah you should put in all this effort for me to use you for free shit due to societal expectations that you should adhere to, but I don’t have to if I don’t want to. We don’t even know if we like each other enough to move forward but you should definitely put in more effort because I got dressed up and did things that made me feel better that you probably don’t care about.

techtesh · 2019-11-02T20:10:06+00:00

I used to be a life guard I just invite them over for a swim.. No make up and plus I can just feed her some junk food from mcd or bk both of which are super near by (if she is hot)

smokeythecat420 · 2019-10-29T16:50:52+00:00

I'd also argue coffee dates are a bad idea. You want her feeling relaxed, not wound up and overanalyzing every word you say.

lexibelle88 · 2019-10-30T08:09:47+00:00

I think she’s foolish. I think when you first meet somebody cool and casual is the best way to go. When I meet people for the first time well actually I never have an expectation of going out and being wined and dined. I’m getting a know that person to see if I want future with them or vice versa. So I’m definitely down with the cool casual places. If you want it to be coffee date, that’s cool then I don’t have to worry about feeling bad if it doesn’t work out. I always make sure I have enough cash to cover my meal and the tip if I’m not feeling it. Therefore I just think that’s a fair thing to do. I know many women are not like that.

snehehsb · 2019-10-29T13:14:52+00:00

The reason the pay gap exists. So men can pay for shit women think they are entitled to lol.

Title	Coffee dates prevent women like you from getting a free meal and then ghosting.
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	1065
Comments	205
Date	October 29, 2019 11:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/doobwk/coffee_dates_prevent_women_like_you_from_getting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/coffee-dates-prevent-women-like-you-from-getting-a.343605 https://theredarchive.com/post/343605