TL,DR: Red Pill theory is confirmed by a Post Wall assertion to BBs around the world about when to expect sex. Shockingly, the answer seems to be never.

The body: a thread on deadbedrooms linked to a puke inducing Buzzfeed which, itself, is a Tl;dr of a Youtube video where a 31 year old mum explains to beta bux when the optimal time to approach for sex is. Choice extracts:

When the kids have only just gone to sleep, you have no chance. As we approach the 45 min mark, this is when you've got the chance of sex.

And, of course, if you leave it too long, you miss the window of opportunity so feel free to enjoy another night sexing up Palmela Handerson. And why not? After all, there is nothing sexier than a timetable, right? Passionate, spontaneous sex is just sooooo over-rated... unless, of course, you're Chad Thundercock and can sweep her off her feet, in which case she'll just hamster it away as it happened so fast, I just got lost in the moment and blah blah blah.

There's a danger zone: if she's falling asleep, please leave her alone. You're at high risk of being stabbed or verbally abused.

Funny how a woman joking about stabbing a man is just so fucking hilarious, but imagine the reaction if a guy was to joke that his woman had better wake her arse up and take care of his needs otherwise she's going to get raped. Gotta love those double standards.

If the house is messy, it's just inappropriate to be asking for sex. When the house is spotless, you have a never ending opportunity.

That's right sister, desire can be negotiated and affection can be bought with the simple application of a duster and a hoover. Of course, it doesn't matter that your man has been at work all day filling up that joint account while you've been pissing around on Facebook and Tumblr all day, until you take that house in a divorce rape it's both of yours and so are the chores.

Added bonus:

Also, remember: If she cleaned the house it doesn’t count, because then she’s tired… If you’ve cleaned the house by yourself, it doesn’t count because you don’t actually know how to clean the house.

Because all men are bumbling idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces without getting a headache, just like those dicks on all those shitcoms, amirite?

When mum's had no wines, you don't have a lot of a chance. 2-3 glasses of wine mark, that's great.

Translation: I have to get drunk to even consider letting you touch my body, and even then I'll be in the starfish position, under the covers, with no lights on.

Now, I don't know if this is supposed to be satire or not but when you start looking at things through a Red lens, and you've escaped a dead bedroom yourself, you realise that a LOT of women AWALT, especially those who spent their late teens and most of their twenties getting railed as they explored their sexualityTM hit the wall, snag a BB and then dry up.

And it will be because of either two things: either she got bored of sex in general and now she's got it out of her system she's now limiting her intake of dick like a recovering cockaholic OR she's secured bb's resources and he simply doesn't give her the tingles so she's using her pussy to negotiate a bigger allocation of your resources of time, effort, supplication and thus validation. After all, your pussy must be pretty fucking magical if your man can work hard all week to provide for you and still comes home practically begging for a sniff of it.

Lessons learned:

  • Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. YOU are the prize and if she can't see that, next and move on.

  • If she needs a bottle of wine to fuck you then it's obvious who has the higher SMV (hint for any newbies reading: it's not you)

  • True desire doesn't come with any caveats so, as soon as she brings the negotiating table into the bedroom, you have to either up your game (SMV) or bounce.

  • As we all know from that guy with the Excel sheet from last year, your sex life has flat-lined if it can be summed up in charts.

  • AWALT