AITA for leaving/ghosting my GF that was financially dependent on me without warning after discovering she cheated on me?

houseoftolstoy · 2019-04-06T17:53:15+00:00

They say that what she did is wrong - but it's no reason to throw away 7+ years - and that if I kick her out she will be forced to drop out and waste years of education.

No self awareness from any of the parents there at all. He did not throw away 7 years of a relationship, she did. He is just reciprocating the treatment she gave him. And she threw away her years of education by cheating, since she demonstrated that she had no appreciation for his love and support (all that education apparently did not teach her to act intelligently either, another demonstration of "education" =/= intelligence).

vampyreorlokk · 2019-04-06T17:41:26+00:00

No she is a dumb bitch . Not only is cheating bad but she is stupid enough to do it to a guy who pays her bills or lives with him.

D U M B

ugluk1 · 2019-04-06T17:54:05+00:00

Anyway, since I did this both my parents and hers have been relentlessly calling me. They say that what she did is wrong - but it's no reason to throw away 7+ years - and that if I kick her out she will be forced to drop out and waste years of education.

She wasted your time, which is the most valuable thing we posses. It's too late to do anything about it now, anyway. Hope this will be a valuable lesson to her. AFBB, remember?

where_muh_good_mens · 2019-04-06T17:41:34+00:00

Just a warning to not cohabitate with women. Once they get comfortable with your care they can legally hold you accountable to them. In this case, the man's feelings and sentiment were spot on, but the way he went about 'unentangling' himself from her was reckless. If she had called the police on him the moment her stuff was outside, they most likely would have prosecuted him for wrongful eviction.

The best way to go about something like this is file an eviction notice to vacate, explain to the landlord that a person is living on his property who is not legally bound to his leasing requirements, and that you wish to remain a tennent with him without the other person and to not have them on your lease agreement.

If things get ugly it's time to lawyer up and put up with the expenses. Otherwise she could sue and make it much more expensive. It seems in this situation his ex could go to her family to stay and they may be not seek legal repremations. But it's a gamble, so best to be safe IMO.

1Badshot · 2019-04-06T22:05:22+00:00

A bunch of assclowns call OP an asshole for not "talking to her first" and "didn't give her a chance to explain".

Did she talk to him first before she fucked her ex? Did she explain why she need to fuck a strange dick even though they had been together in a committed relationship for 7 years?

Some people are so base and without integrity it's a wonder how they have the nerve to give advice.

SelectAirline · 2019-04-06T19:57:15+00:00

Way too many ESH responses on the original thread. He did nothing wrong morally, and since this wasn't in the US he may also be in the clear legally.

The guy didn't realize it, but he was just a stepping stone to a better provider anyway. His job was to get her through medical school, at which point he was to be discarded so she could chase after doctors.

KoloGupta · 2019-04-06T17:59:29+00:00

Hell no you're not an asshole. You handled everything superbly!

Her parents are trying to convince you not to "throw away seven years" so they can hopefully keep you shouldering the burden they know their daughter is. She's going to move that useless dude in with them, after she moves back in with her parents.

Not putting her things on the sidewalk was rather kind of you. I can't say I wouldn't have left everything at the street intersection, had I been in your shoes.

Let this be a lesson. AWALT. Don't invest your time and money supporting a woman. Not in this day and age. It could have been worse. You two could have been married; in this case, she would have fucked around on you, taken your house, you kids, half of your assets, PLUS child support and alimony.

PonderingKat · 2019-04-06T19:29:27+00:00

ILLEGAL EVICTION! if in USA!

In most US states, without a judge's order, after 90 days if a person has proof they have been living there, you need to give them 2 weeks minimum to vacate an apartment or home.

California for example, as well as any other state you can think of.

Some laws stipulate "dependent" person, or a person making less, so that men can always be kicked out by females, or the cops strongarm the man and tell the woman to get a "restraining order" of short duration rubber stamped, and the police lock up the man for a night to establish cause for the poor helpless evil woman (typically the main tenant/ owner).

Its a PENAL CODE violation to do what he did, not a CIVIL code issue, and though he can be sued, he can also be arrested.

Its problematic to get rid of cheating leech girlfriends. Most men give them a check for 2,000 dollars to buy them out of their life. Some used to use 1,000 dollar checks.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-04-06T23:17:34+00:00

"That's no reason to throw away 7+ years"

Yes. Yes it is.

There's nothing for the relationship to rest on. It's clear to me, on reading this, that she's going to get her medical degree and as soon as she does, she's going to drop advicethrowawayinny in a heartbeat. They had a good relationship. Sure. But it's over.

Be happy you don't have to give her your house and half of every dime you've made or ever will make.

AliBarakat · 2019-04-06T22:19:30+00:00

His mistake: fund a womans education, and cohabitate with her.

If you want kids, the last thing you should do is be putting a woman through a feminist indoctrination camp. If you want kids, just have 5 kids.

LordSithaniel · 2019-04-06T18:31:11+00:00

Nice man, thanks for the post.

Kinda lightened up a day. Love how you threw her out just like that. Dont doubt anything you did well because you are not a cuck.

If your parents try to confince you otherwise abandon them.

chubsta2k17 · 2019-04-06T19:28:59+00:00

You know what - you are a 'man'. You dealt with this very well, it must have taken an awful amount of strength to do what you did, and continue to do under pressure from others.

Well done, as someone else said, her parents are running scared that their waste of a daughter has shown herself to be an untrustworthy slut and she is likely to now be their responsibility again.

She didn't give a shit about your feelings, or what she was throwing away, and if you gave into her or made the breakup easy to spare her precious feelings she would just see you as being weak.

TANQspray · 2019-04-07T00:40:50+00:00

He’s a guy with his shit together. She’s a typical human who thinks they can just use people as much as they like but he obviously has balls and gets rid of her as soon as he sees she’s a problem.

As for the kicking her out problem, who cares. Cop a fine if she pushes it. Point is she’s gone and he will save a lot of money from that so f—k it if he gets a fine. She has to find somewhere to live and get through all that, by the time she has time to go after him for unfair eviction (which she won’t as she has no money) it would have been too long.

As I said typical person who doesn’t appreciate what they have. Male or female. In this case a useless female.

lurkerhasarisen · 2019-04-06T23:42:23+00:00

I saw that earlier today but I don't know how to cross post here. Maybe I'll figure it out at some point.

The guy handled himself extremely well. There is absolutely no justification for him feeling obligated to continue funding her for even one more second. It doesn't matter why she cheated. It doesn't matter how long they've been together. It doesn't matter how entangled their lives and families are. It doesn't matter that she will not finish her education. It doesn't matter if she has to spend the rest of her life selling lap dances to hobos under bridge overpasses to pay off the loans for the schooling she never finishes.

The only thing that matters is that she cheated.

notyourdude201 · 2019-04-06T23:55:23+00:00

I can pretty much tell his girlfriend does not love him. She is using him simply to leech off to. He is a beta bux.

Women cheat to their beta bux boyfriends / husbands all the time. The longer the relationship lasts, the more she will or have been cheating.

harharry · 2019-04-07T13:19:12+00:00

This is called the female frame. It’s not about each holding each other to standards, but instead it’s she holding him to higher standards than vice versa, one he unconsciously agrees to by feeling bad even when she did something horrid and he cut her off.

Many men would do much better if they had less sympathy for women in general. These men are just suckers waiting to get exploited and thrown away; life is too short to put up with garbage treatment like that.

0kool74 · 2019-04-06T23:50:58+00:00

I like what the guy did, and personally would love to buy him a beer. The REAL schadenfreude in this would have been if she didn't have anywhere to go. However, this is a MAJOR no no in the US. Whether she had been paying rent or not, she is a de facto tenant and there's laws regarding evicting someone. It's a strong possibility that while she may be too stupid to keep her legs closed, she might just be smart enough to bring the law into the situation. Also, since a lot of states have common law marriage doctrine, there's also a question of whether or not they fall under that umbrella. It was a beautiful knee-jerk reaction, but it was also just that......a knee-jerk reaction. I'd be curious to see what comes of this mess in the future.

Good_Old_Friend · 2019-04-07T01:28:29+00:00

I like what he did but was also wondering if he could run into legal trouble because he put her right out.

I bet she spun this to the parents that he has neglected me. I ran into the ex and slipped, "just this one time. It won't happen again." Until it does.

She wanted to be with the ex because he has the alpha qualities that she desires. Mr. Beta Bux is not supplying her with sufficient tingles.

I wonder how long it will take him to climb back on his horse and assume the white knight role again. Let's hope he has learned.

Sid_Insidious · 2019-04-08T02:09:03+00:00

No. You are not an asshole. But there is still hope - you can become one. Next time, don't move her into your place at ALL. You can still take her to IKEA and see what kind of furniture she likes... THIS will really get her hamster wheel flying! (Furniture you know you will never be buying and moving into your home.) When she starts talking about the "next level" of the relationship (moving in) tell her the fact she is so fiercely "strong and independent" is what makes you so hot for her and you would never expect her to sacrifice her hard-earned independence for little old you. (Throw her feminism back in her face). You're a nice guy - and it ended with no divorce, no kids, no alimony, no child support and no destruction of you. Next time you might not be so lucky.

LibertyBaron · 2019-04-10T19:37:27+00:00

Now she is pregnant. It seems bitches like her ALWAYS win in this situations.

[deleted] · 2019-04-08T14:38:00+00:00

" but he's going no where in life and I don't understand why she'd want to be with him. "

It's simple: Alpha Fux Beta Bux.

devok1 · 2019-04-09T11:21:21+00:00

Im glad he has balls and kicked her out of his life at the moment he found out.

Medusssssa1 · 2019-04-16T09:44:39+00:00

I Would Ghost The Parents Too. The Hell! She Threw It Away First. Idiots

Title	AITA for leaving/ghosting my GF that was financially dependent on me without warning after discovering she cheated on me?
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	174
Comments	77
Date	April 6, 2019 5:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/ba6k66/aita_for_leavingghosting_my_gf_that_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/aita-for-leavingghosting-my-gf-that-was.346184 https://theredarchive.com/post/346184