Title says it all. I met her through Tinder, the condom broke but she said not to worry because she's on the pill. Fast forward a week, where I see her for the second time, and she tells me that she's pregnant. Boring story, I know. Now for the fun part. I saw self harm scars on her arm, but only on the second night (she insisted on having the lights off on the first night). She then proceeded to tell me that those were from her two previous abortions, where she was so tortured about it that she had to do this. And that now she probably couldn't handle a third abortion and that anyways she actually knows how to kill herself this time. My heart fucking sank, man. She's now coming over and will be here in an hour, so that we could continue talking. We barely slept because we were talking about it and she says she's 70% sure she wants to keep the baby, but that she wouldn't ask any help from me, except seeing the baby once in a while. I can barely believe what I'm typing right now. I bought two early pregnancy tests, the expensive kind. I don't know what to do. Any advice?
TL;DR I knocked up a girl on the first night seeing her, the crazy came out on the second night a week later with the news, and she's 70% sure she wants to keep it. Send help.
UPDATE: Holy shit I dodged the biggest fucking bullet ever, I feel like Bullet Bill just zipped passed my cranium.
So she got here and just acted all cool, asking about my day and stuff. She then went on to explain how she felt all bloated and preggo and I just couldn't believe the amount of bullshit coming out of her mouth. I cut her off and told her I didn't believe in the timing of things (I had looked it all up before she got here) and said that I needed actual proof.
Her being a nurse, she insisted that she had access to blood test that could detect HCG levels only four days after conception, which I knew was bullshit. She was so manipulative, she kept on saying that "she's in medical, so she just knows better". And I just kept bringing up the 11-14 days period of time after conception needed to take a relevant blood test.
In the end I just told her that she was a bad liar and that her manipulation attempts were in vain. So I told her to leave, now. She called a friend to pick her up and then just stared at me, smiled and said that she would wait there, in my living room. And then the show began.
She said, among other things, "Why would I ever lie about being pregnant, I'm 21!" "You should be ashamed of making me feel like a dirty slut!" "How could I even be pregnant from another guy, you're the only guy I've been with recently" "Oh, by the way, I already have a son, I know how these things work". Gems.
Her still being in my living room, I told her to leave or I'd call the cops. She smiled the sassiest smile at me, so I did. After some more back and forth she eventually went outside on the steps while saying how much of a white guy kind of thing I was doing by calling the cops (she is half carribean half european, but basically black). I closed the door with an intentionally loud sigh. FIN
Anyways, thanks for the support everyone, it truly helped me.
Update #2:(Album) https://imgur.com/a/LNdqtsS
Update #3: So I'm staying as far away as possible. Haven't had contact with her since theses texts. Now for timeline clarification; we met for the first time last Tuesday, and again Monday night. She said she wanted to get a hold of me during the weekend to tell me about it, which implies a test on Friday, not even 72 hours after "conception". She then changed her story saying she got the test on Sunday to try to make it more believable timewise I guess. She insisted that she's pregnant and that it's mine. So she basically announced all of that to me 6 days after we first met. When I asked for her to take the test for me she flat out refused, citing disrespect on my part. Oh and the last kicker? Right before leaving she said "That's why I shouldn't have told you, all guys react the same". Now please refer to me as Neo.
[–][deleted] [score hidden] stickied comment (6 children) | Copy Link
A couple of things to note here:
-- When a girl says that "she isn't going to look for help" in referring to $ or support or anything really. She is LYING! No woman on the face of the planet will ever actually be able to keep this promise. She will have the next 18 years to contemplate why she can't afford her new gucci bags because of diapers and baby food, or she can't go out with her friends because the babysitter has plans that night, while you are out "dilly dallying about, not giving a fuck about your kid". They say this, "I won't look for support if you don't want to raise this child" because they want to know if they should start screwing you over now or wait until you are fed up with their shit and they have a better reason to. They have all the courts and media on their side as well as your own fucking family (probably) to paint you out as the dead beat loser that deserves jail for not stepping up to your kid, regardless of what she said, or even recorded her saying. She will get the pass of, "she was pregnant and hormonal, and didn't want him to leave, so she was giving him his space". Nothing she says or does will change the fact that she has this weapon in her arsenal and can simply point and aim it at you at any time during the kids life she feels like.
-- If a crazy, psycho bitch refuses to leave or prevents you from leaving, it is not a good idea to make threats against her. Saying, "i will call the cops" means nothing to someone like this. She knows all she has to do is slam her head against the wall as you make the call and guess what, you will be sitting in a jail waiting for the trial of your life to start where she will be coddled and cared for by everyone that wants to point toxic masculinity as the cause for you beating her senseless. DO NOT FUCKING THREATEN HER. If you feel your life is about to be in danger, text a friend/family to call the cops for you, but don't say you did. If your life is immediate danger, put the threat down and deal with the self defense strategy. If your life is not in danger (or readily apparent that it could be), then making threats gives her the upper hand as to your strategy. Additionally, calling the cops by the man will come with immediate scrutiny from them and they will either not come at all, come thinking you are the aggressor trying to get out doing something bad, or put you both in jail for a domestic disturbance. As a man, calling the cops on her after you invite her over to your place is also a way for her white-knights with badges and guns to claim you invited her over so that you could claim trespass. If they attempt to got this route, the least of your worries will be a false report charge.
The moral of the story is, do not get into situations with crazy, psycho bitches. You are at an immediate disadvantage not only in terms of their white-knight authorities looking for an excuse to beat you or shoot you, but also that they are far better liars than you, because they lack empathy. They will lie under oath just to see you burn, even if their is no perceived benefit to them. Prosecutors will make this excuse of "lack of modus operendi" to show how the, "inferior, weak, girl" has no reason other than "punishment for all the trauma and/or physical altercation" you put her through. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM PSYCHO BITCHES by figuring out if they are psychos before you have sex with them, or just stay away from them entirely, as society is clearly hellbent on men being the shit rungs that supports it.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Know what to do with a woman like this?
Go total full on beta simp chump.
"Oh baby, I luuuuurrrrrrve you !!!" I am so in love with you. I wanna be with you all the time. I love you so much."
Write her poetry. Show up at her house with a guitar in hand, and serenade her.
Constantly ask her about her emotional state. "Are you OK?" "Is something wrong?" Then take the blame for it. "Is it something I did? Oh god I just KNOW It's something I did! You're going to break up with me now!! I'm so sorry!! I'll never do it again, just PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!"
Buy her flowers. Every week.
Show up at her work or school or house with a single long stemmed red rose. Every day.
write her love notes on paper and send them with her.
Profess your love for her and tell her how much you want to get married.
Or, go full on Tom Leykis "Hail Mary".
"Babe, I really really want this. I really do. But the time just isn't right. I want that house with the picket fence, 2.4 kids, dog, cat, bird, 4 bdrm colonial in the burbs. I want all that. I promise, babe, just get the abortion, and then we'll go on like we were before. Okay?" And then you pay for the abortion and get her through the immediate post procedure period. You make sure it "took". And then you ghost.
You get a woman like this out of your life by any and all legal means necessary. You debase yourself. You lie. You use self-sabotage and subterfuge. You pay her off. You use fraud and deceit. Do anything and everything you can to remove a woman like this as far from your life as you possibly can.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
There are some pros and cons with this approach.
If you are more cunning than her, then it makes sense to attempt it. If not, then don't give her what she expects by being calm and methodical. She needs the man to inflate his anger so that she can exploit it with her drama. In this situation the man can avoid most of her weapons by being calm and collected and treating her bullshit like it needs an answer without making her feel stupid. She'll be hard pressed to continue because she will realize she won't get anywhere, but it will take a lot of patience.
On the method you propose. Most women are more cunning than the man, so, like I said before, it will take much more effort on the mans part than hers. The difference is that women don't like a lot of work to exercise their manipulation tactics, so she will not go too far if the man is more successful at it than she is.
She will attempt to shit test you in order to ensure that you mean what you say. So you must have at least 3 binary levels of reactions prepared and understand where most of her shit tests are going. She will only get to the 3rd level if you are not good enough at convincing her that you are prepared to take it to the extreme that is required to get there. Also, she will most likely only prepare 2 levels of shit tests and a curve ball, so it is important to think on you feet to avoid her getting suspicious about it. She must think that your responses come from the heart, but won't be confident of that if the man hesitates or has to think too long about what she is after. The man will need to mentally prepare for all interaction with her, meaning before he has to meet with her or less so talking over the phone/texting. Afterwards, he must contemplate her responses to decide if she is going to shit test harder, or if he should double down on the positive results she gave already. This way, the next time you meet, it will be easier to prepare or in case she shows up unexpectedly.
Finally, she will need to make sure that the man is completely dedicated and not bullshitting her about the "lovey duvey stuff" you mentioned. Obviously, this is a mood killer, but it will elevate her desires for you if she catches wind that you are attempting to manipulate her back. So it is very important to understand that she is going to want to have sex and/or take the relationship to the next level. Since the man really has no idea if she is really pregnant, and any attempts to get verification from here will be seen as insubordination, it will be very tricky to determine this on his own. If he needs verification and she sends out a "purchased ultra sound", or "fake test results kit", or even a "real kit, but not hers", the man will have to decide if she has lied or to accept that the lie hasn't been exposed in order to catch her make a mistake verbally.
The man will need to understand her specific cues for lying by initiating benign conversations about her life and understand where her experiences led her to that point. That way, once the more serious discussions come up, her guard would have been let down from those conversations before, and she will not be thinking of what she said then. She will slip up at some point, but before that happens it will be imperative to not have sex with her without a condom the man purchased and has been in his only possession the entire time. She will need him to have sex with her, good, not too hard, but well enough that she feels his dedication to her. He will need to prepare for the event that she presents her own contraception or an excuse to not use it at all. She will claim that you already had sex without a condom or that your juices already impregnated her in a "broke condom" scenario, so you are both good to go for the next 9 months. The only way out of this is to have the mental acuity to avoid getting a hard on for this occasion or to have masterbated enough every day so that it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm not sure that is even possible, as men's libido goes up if thinks pregnancy would be possible. If he goes this route, she will think you are not really into her, so have some preparation of performance anxiety excuse ready. It might not even be enough (even if it were true) because she expects a man to want her <period>. Anyways, that situation will either be the last shit test she will need to decipher the mans confidence level of her or the straw that breaks the camels back to finding out he has been shit testing her all along. If it goes the other way and she is actually pregnant, there is no more option for her to get an abortion, she will have that kid at that point, so it would be time to say last rights to your income.
I'm not sure if you particularly have tried any of this, but I can tell you it is very difficult. She is much, much better at it, but you have that as a benefit as well because she already knows men aren't very good at it either. The man can use that perception to his advantage and even play into it by sending her subtle nuances that make him seem emotionally attached and intellectually stunted from being able to lie very well.
[–]HypatianZen 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
This man psycho-chics.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
There's a good expression I find more true as time passes: a man's character is his guardian angel.
Now that I'm older I can reflect on the crazy psycho women I was able to curve when I was younger because I was that full on romantic beta chump looking for commitment and love. I hear stories about them from time to time and I thank the stars above that they aren't in my world destroying my life.
At the time it hurt, but now I see that it was a good selection mechanism to weed out all the party thots, women who only wanted a fling with me, and generally crazy women who weren't responsibly thinking about their future and only living for pleasures in the moment.
Granted, I was college age during this time. I wouldn't recommend doing this for an older man. Women change their stratagem to seek out men that were beta chumps like me and hook them for provider status.
But, thankfully as a poor man I'm freed from this grief as well.
[–]polakfuryInvested heavily in Questions pre-2008 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Can you elaborate on this?
[–]polakfuryInvested heavily in Questions pre-2008 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
how so?
[–]NotLuceBreeSr. Hamster Analyst 41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Story has a happy ending, he dodged a bullet. Not only was the bitch crazy, and lying, she also apparently already has a kid. At 21 years old. And is first-nighting random dudes on Tinder.
Let me off this planet, please.
[–]Mr-Ed209 32 points33 points34 points (7 children) | Copy Link
My guess is she's done this to guys before and asksed for $500 for an 'abortion'. Most dudes would rob their own mother to give her the money fast enough and not risk a pregnancy.
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points (6 children) | Copy Link
At which point she:
A) Takes the money and you never see her again
B) Takes the money, but doesn't get an abortion
C) Takes the money, didn't need an abortion, so becomes an expensive amateur sex night
Maybe, it's best to spend 250$ on a hooker who:
A) Has an abortion without extorting you
B) Doesn't need an abortion because she wasn't planning on extorting you
C) You will never hear from anyways because you didn't share you're lifes history with her in order to get with her in the first place
[–]OniTan 7 points8 points9 points (5 children) | Copy Link
Buy a pregnancy test and ask her to piss on the stick right in front of you. If it's positive and you you don't want to risk the chance that it's yours, tell her you'll drive her to the abortion clinic and pay them the money.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, she isn't going to do that even if she is pregnant. Bitches that do that aren't really known for their honorable conduct.
But, I get I point your point.
[–]OniTan 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Then I'd ignore her. If she actually has a kid and calls you up, demand a DNA test before paying any child support.
[–]Takezumi 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
So you'd wait for 9 months, get the DNA test, it comes back probably yours then you're screwed.
[–]OniTan 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
What else are you supposed to do if she won't abort?
[–]Takezumi 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Flee the country?
[–]moorekomUrban Hoe Guerrilla 23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
//she says she's 70% sure she wants to keep the baby, but that she wouldn't ask any help from me, except seeing the baby once in a while//
Why, what a lady she is.
[–]JJ3314Sr. Hamster Analyst 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Seeing how she's using percentages and all, it sounds like she's good at math, and probably has a good head on her shoulders! He should reconsider breaking it off with this catch of a woman.
[–]NeedlecrashCan't get enough Chick-Fat-Ass 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuck dodging a bullet, you dodged a fucking cannon. WOW.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Had one ten years ago try to pull something similar on me.
We were hot and heavy for a few months before I moved about 2 hours away to take a new job. Cupcake didn't want me to leave. She was typical, had an orbitor, etc. 2 weeks after I move, I get the "I'm pregnant" text.
Long story short, I told her to prove it. She claimed not to have any money for a lawyer. I told her there are thousands of lawyers willing to file a paternity suit based on contingency. Told her to do it if she was sure it was mine. Never got any notice from any lawyers.
I also know the helpless feeling associated with having a crazy broad in your home that won't leave. Glad the OP's story ended well.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Like a band of rabid wolves waiting to feed off of any bones that have even a trace of flesh and blood on them.
[–]nicethingyoucanthaveTRP Endorsed 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Here's some general advice:
(1) try different condom brands. They're not all alike, and they're not all the same size. If you're wearing one that's too small for you, sure it's physically possible to put it on because condoms are stretchy, but it's far more likely to break. You'll also find that sex feels better with the right condom.
(2) do not fuck around with expiration dates. Don't be a cheap ass. Buy new ones. Set up Amazon so that they send you a box regularly and just deal with the very minor expense.
(3) don't leave them in your car overnight, especially in cold weather. They'll definitely break.
[–]houseoftolstoyUnchivalrous Christian 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I am willing to bet that her "I'm pregnant" claim was meant to trick him into believing that it would be no problem for them to have sex again, but without protection. After all, she is already "pregnant," so it would not matter if they have sex once more but without protection. Then she actually gets pregnant, and her mission is complete. Now he is really on the hook and all bets are off.
At least, that's what would make sense to me. She may be unstable, but she must have an ulterior motive to her actions. Doing the pregnancy scare otherwise just doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Are women even worth it anymore? Idgaf if this sounds pathetic, but I can not fucking wait for VR and sexbots to make the entitled psychopathic leeches that are modern women obsolete.
[–]TomahawkSuppositorySurvived the hoe hunger games 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
To each his own man. Live your life on your terms, don’t let society decide the plan for your life.
[–]ClockworkOrange92618WAATGM Endorsed 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm willing to bet money that one of two things happens:
False rape charge, or..
He doesn't learn from this and gets with another immature cunt in the near future
Any takers?
[–]TomahawkSuppositorySurvived the hoe hunger games 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh that’s a safe bet. Doesn’t look like the little moron learned anything.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Definitely false rape. 100%. She didn't get what she wanted out of him and now she's going to continue to be psychotic.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
BOTH
[–]Rhodesius 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Bruh, they're born damaged.